Help with reading -What Relationship Would Be Like



  • Phew, okay. So, with his relationship with his wife, I see the affection and solidarity in the past that he mentioned, and then the emotional withdrawal and confusion in the present. The future looks kinda bleak for them, with the two swords cards I see not much affection, especially with the 7 of swords. Sneakiness, playing games. Makes sense considering there's another woman, LOL. Especially with the main card being the emperor, I usually get this card when a dude isn't going to tell or show someone how he feels. He's still in command but not really there emotionally.

    For him leaving his wife, I see that he tried to balance things and be fair in the past, but the present looks like he's going away from her and to other options. Or a new adventure, which makes sense.

    The future...well, wheel of fortune means change, but the page of swords isn't really an action card (for me, anyway) but more of a communication card. So I guess there's going to be a change in the way they interact with each other, but I dont think this is a solid answer to your question. It might be too far in the future for the tarot to answer. But it looks like he's definitely entertaining the idea.

    I think him seeing the heirophant in you kind of reinforces what he says. he sees you as someone who can help him, not really a mentor but more of a savior.

    For the other ones, for your future together i dont see the hanged man as giving up, but more of accepting the situation and looking at it from a different angle. Especially since you got the lovers card, which to me is about decisions. So, thinking differently and making choices is in your future, which makes sense. Does he love you? Knight of cups, thats a good card to get. He obviously admires you and feels great deals of affection for you. The sun is more of a 'you'll find out' card, and as for 'should I break away' I think the cards are telling you to stop stressing out with the 9 of swords, LOL.

    I'm confused about his wife...it looks like she's holding back all her emotions, but maybe because she knows he isnt happy and that he's looking elsewhere. I would think she's given up, except for that strength card. Maybe one day she hopes everything will come out in the open? She seems to have a pretty good opinion of her husband. I think she wants the lid to be blown off of everything as much as he does, seeing as she has two tower cards and the 3 of swords. Maybe he should come clean with her?

    So....R's view of his wife is interesting. Clearly, he doesnt actually hold any ill feelings towards her. I still see a lot of affection there, with the two of cups and 3 of cups. The 4 of wands for what he wants....to be happy, for things to stabilize. I always see this as a really positive card, for reaching a solid level. Its like the victory after the 2 and 3, though not a permanent victory. So, if this is what he wants, he obviously doesn't want to just up and leave her laughing and waving. I think he really wants to figure out what went wrong and do everything the right way.

    There are soooo many towers in their future and for what they want, obviously some sht is gonna hit a huge as fan. I dont know if that means they want it to be over, or if they just both realize things need to get shaken up if any progression is to be made. That progress could mean them admitting it isnt working and moving on. But they both seem to want the same thing, so they should just do it!

    Phew....im tired, LOL.



  • Oh, really? REALLY now?

    So, I posted some other stuff above my reply to you.....but I think maybe you should look at this first. Or ignore the other one all together.

    So, yesterday I worked with him. We were joking around most of the shift, cause I was making butter balls next to him at the expo line, so many ball jokes ensued. Most of the day I tried to make conversation with him, which is something I tend not to do while we're working cause im usually too busy/scared. I noticed he was also talking to me. All in all, I had a really fun shift.

    SO, I did a relationship reading.....aaaand im a little confused!

    1. How he feels about the current state of the relationship: The Tower

    2. Where he wants it to go: The Four of Swords

    3. How he will do this: 10 of Pentacles

    4. What he wants to get from the relationship: 9 of Pentacles

    5. Something you should know: 2 of Cups

    6. Advice: Ace of Cups

    7. Possible Outcome: King of Pentacles.

    OKAY. Do you get the impression that he's like....freaking out? The last time I did this spread (I posted it to you) it seemed like he was coasting. Now he feels the TOWER? The tower plus the 4 of swords makes me feel like he's coming to some kind of crazy conclusion, or maybe he's just seriously confused, and he needs a real break to either get things back in order or think them through. What I should know was the 2 of Cups....what does that mean? And advice, once again, is the Ace of Cups.

    So, needless to say, this spread confused me. I feel like I did something....but what did I do?? I remember I didn't finish the butterballs because I got busy doing my actual job (those arent my responsibility, they are actually his. But because it was dead he told me I could do them for something to do, otherwise he might have had to send me home. He was supervising that day, otherwise he's usually just a server). So, at the end of the night, I asked him if I actually had to finish them. He said nah, dont worry about it. But then I did get worried, and asked if that meant HE had to do them. He was like "I probably should....but I wont. So dont worry." But that made me even MORE worried, because I didnt want him to get in trouble.

    So later when he was in the office, I went in and said "Okay, what if I do half a rack?" (mind you, it's 11:30 at night and the restaurant closed at 10:00. So i've already been working an hour and a half past closing time.) And he looked at me and said "I dont care if you do them or not. I'm not going to do them." and then I said "But....your going to get in trouble?" and he was like "I always get yelled at, I really dont care if I get in trouble again." and then he smiled at me, but I was so worried his smile disappeared right away. I said "Thats not helping...." Then he was like "Your fine." and he turned around and kept working. So....i went and tried to do them anyway, LOL, but I couldnt because they had sent all the tools to the dish pit.

    Maybe that has something to do with it?? I know that sometimes he'll test me...but he wasn't testing me this time. I got the impression he was serious and he really didnt care. But I still felt guilty cause I'm stupid like that, LOL. So, of course, I proceeded to ask tones of questions.

    What does J think of me?: 4 of Cups, Ace of Swords, Wheel of Fortune, 9 of Cups

    Why...?: Page of Cups, 3 of Cups, 10 of Cups

    Does J Have Feelings for Me?: 10 of Swords, Ace of Wands, 7 of Pents, Ace of Cups

    Did I do something to bring about such a change in feelings?: The Moon, King of Cups, Queen of Swords, 2 of Swords, Judgment. (sorry thats a lot of cards)

    Is there anything I can do to reassure J that I'll care for him?: 3 of Wands, 6 of Cups, 5 of Wands, The Tower (here too, sorry!)

    Is there any chance of me and J being together?: Knight of Pent, 2 of Cups, 8 of Cups, Lovers

    Why is he so hesitant to be with me?: 6 of Swords, 7 of Wands, 5 of Swords, 6 of Cups

    WHat about me, if anything, is putting him off dating me?: 2 of Cups, 5 of Cups, 8 of Pentacles

    Wow that's a lot....sorry about that!! I think that tower card just scared me. But really, I think it's a good thing. Maybe? Take your time with this if you want. LOL my god I have like 5 posts...



  • Wow, good stuff in there Maria. You know as an outsider I see them in much the same position that my ex and I were in. We both wanted a marriage that worked, we both wanted what was best for our kids, we shared the same values overall, we did six months of marriage counseling to try to make it work and keep everybody together, but at the end of the day, who we are as individuals just couldn't mesh anymore. We were fortunate that he made enough $$ that we could split and both still maintain reasonable households.

    "R" is not in that position, running his own small business, and I know this complicates things further in his ability to make decisions. He claims if he made more money he'd leave sooner. Very honest cards for him regarding his wife though. He made no bones about the fact that he will always love her as the mother of his children, and that he really wished that things could be different. He feels sorry for her not being happier and I really have no doubt that he would have tried years ago to support her. (For all of his shananigans there's a very special heart in that man). Initially even I tried to offer suggestions of ways they could mend the rift, because it pained me to watch the "dream" of a family fall apart because of the emotion I could see was there. But he says she is set at being selfish and negative. Glass is always half-empty. (4 of Cups - discontentment.) I actually was surprised that she saw his character as the 10 of Pentacles, but then again it's in line with what he says - she sees him as the provider. The problem comes when that's all she sees...the paycheck and not the man. It's perfectly in line with his description of their marriage; he works hard to give her what she needs, and still she's never happy. She thinks he's selfish (4 pents), he thinks she needs an attitude adjustment (Hanged man). Would be funny if weren't so sad. They appear to be polarized in their views of each other which is also exactly what he said, and indeed, according to him, they both agree they want out of the marriage as soon as it's practical. He says they've had many talks. I suppose when we start seeing the Justice card in a spread we'll know that somebody has finally called in a lawyer, lol. Good call on your part Maria; observing that they both seem to want the same thing.

    I'm not so sure that the 4 of Wands is "stable" in this case. With it coming up so much here I scoured my books on the finer points and a huge element in this card is "freedom". I actually view it as the free-to-be-happy card. If you get a minute go to www.learntarot.com > table of contents > Individual card meanings and look up 4 of Wands. This site has a really nice range of meanings in a very concise format. Check it out. Whether it's by leaving the marriage or by fixing it, one thing seems certain, "R" wants to be "free" to be happy once again - get rid of the opression and actually look forward to life.

    9 of Swords - "stop stressing", haha, love it!! Are you paying attention here, I'm a Cancer, is there really such a thing as life without stress??? I'll never know, lol. Although "R" is very good at making me feel grounded - my biggest reason I can't shake him off. I just can't even fathom how his wife doesn't adore him like I do. Seriously, she may not live a life of luxury, but his heart was fully there for her and probably would quickly return with but the slightest effort on her part. Did I mention she's a Taurus? Lol.

    So you got loaded up with Pentacles eh? Hmmm, ok, just random Cancer thought again (you HAVE to know from the endless threads in this forum that we are all confusing pain in the buts). Having told you how much we like money and security, now I have to tell you that too much emphasis on work and money puts the security of our hearts at risk. My ex is highly successful, that's why I never got what I needed unless it was something I could buy. Emotionally, forget it. Work was his biggest priority - no balance there for me. Does "J" think your heart is too much into work? I KNOW hearing this reversal no sounds messed up, but that's the Cancer issue, we ARE so messed up! Hahah.

    On that note, with the confusion over that Empress, now I'm thinking, okay, maybe he actually likes that you "mother" him with attention and doesn't like it when you don't since you say he seeks you out when you "neglect" him. Man I wish you could crawl inside my head for two seconds so you could undertand why this makes perfect sense...to no one but a Cancer, lol. And it's not a game he's playing, at least not intentionally...it's just that he/we like a ton of space but we like a ton of attention all at the same time. A conundrum you will have to meditate on.

    I also am getting the impression that you need to just hang to the side a bit, keep being your normal incredible amazing self and don't push him in any direction right now. You have his attention that is for sure. He's being so very Cancer in finding his own little ways to let you know when he needs a little more (staring at you for instance). You're so smart to note and watch for those little cues because for everything a Cancer reveals to you, you can triple what's really going on behind it. I used this example in another thread: "if I say out loud, 'I like you', inside I'm really probably thinking, 'oh my God I think I'll die if I have to go a day without seeing you!'" Haha.

    Gotta run, thank you as always for giving me much to think about!



  • Dang, we did it again! Overlapping posts. I'll get to yours tonight, okay!



  • Maria - Relationship reading: Stop assuming that the Tower is something so big. I have learned through experience that sometimes it's as mundane as a surprise phone call from an old friend. Try this on for size: he's had a little personal revelation that's caused him to just take a step back and contemplate things a bit. Ten of pents has a lot to do with convention, status quo, playing by the rules. With all the pents you keep racking up I can't help but think work is a gltich in this somehow. What he wants is to handle things properly, handle himself appropriately - we are back to the idea of "professionalism" again. You mention that he has occasional supervisory duties, i.e. he IS in a higher position than you. Issues of favoritism and consequences may play on his mind. The two of cups and Ace still just tell me you've got his interest, things revealed in the previous readings are still there, but it's looking like he's thinking he needs to maintain his position of authority and is just feeling a need to be practical right now about his role at work. Now it's my turn to say "stop stessing!" Lol



  • Looks like we were in a parallel universe with the string of questions, lol. Sometimes it's just like, "dammit, just show me the whole picture and let's move on", lol. Ok, I think you wandered off on an incorrect tangent in some of this. His feelings didn't change about you so I'm not even going to address those cards. He's just not ready to accept what you're offering, he's being straight with you, not playing any kind of games if that's what you're thinking, but if he's still not ready to take a chance to find out whether or not he would be happy with you. He enjoys your communications, he thinks you're fun to be around and that you've got your head together. Sooo much going on in your other questions, so let's look at some recurring themes because with that many cards it's going to be easier to look for the big message: 2 of Cups, 8 of Pentacles, Ace of Cups. We've seen a lot of these particular cards in the past week. I really see that he likes you, but the 8 of pents says he's not going away from you, just plugging along doing what he needs to be doing that's all, which isn't necessarily getting in deeper with you right now. Remember that the 2 of cups can just mean a good friend or partnership, doesn't mean you'll get married, and the Ace is a beginning. This all still feels like very early stages in whatever is develping between you two. That's probably why the same cards keep coming up because not enough time has passed for any significant change in overall status.

    The question about his hestation is a different deal though, this feels like fresh information. Full of agitation...look at those cards, all about defensiveness or even fighting in defense, he's been through something in the past that he has NOT let go of and he is going to protect himself until he is past it. Obviously he is not past it at this point. He puts off dating you because of this past disappointment. Notice that he may display interest in other women at times but is he jumping into anything with them either? Nope, he won't until he gets over his "spilled cups" and realizes, "oh hey, look, there's a couple more cups right behind me if I'd have opened my eyes and looked!"

    But to me it's clear that he has affection for you, he's just not where you want him to be and it really looks like he can't be pushed to that place. That work thing is playing in this somehow too, which as I mentioned doesn't surprise me with him being a Cancer. I'm also in a "just passing through job", but I always take my work seriously. Just got a 40-cent-per-hour pay raise today, haha, oh yay, but I do apprecieate that it was a big raise for where I'm working and I DID earn it. Cancers are typically good workers.)

    Haha, but you're just like me aren't you - wait him out or move on? LOL, Sorry but misery loves company ya know! Actually I'm feeling pretty okay right now. "R" has been on and off the IM through the day when I've been on the computer. I said "hi" to him the first time. He didn't reply, and I'm not feeling the least bit bothered by that. Figure he'll answer when he's ready. At least you get to see and communicate with the object of your affection on a daily basis making your waiting game so much more tolerable than mine....or at least I would think so. Maybe it is more punishing in it's own way.

    Ok, hope you didn't mind me doing an overview instead of a card-by-card analysis, but I really see the same messages coming through. Not sure what else you could ask that would give you new insights at this point, but I'm sure you'll think of something! I'm kind of tapped out on "R" I think, at least for today. By tomorrow I'll probably start wanting to know why I haven't heard from him and probably just get some boring answer like: "because he's working", but you know I'll ask anyway.

    What happened to Sky did you scare her off? Sky come back and talk to us!



  • Phew...haha I totally spazzed out. I feel better now. Thanks for all of that! And I agree....though it makes me sad. I guess I can't understand letting the past effect you that much in the present. I tend to just kind of let stuff slide and continue trudging on. Though I think the way I interact with men has changed thanks to some previous scars. So I guess I'm not totally spot on with that one. I think another thing that bugs me is that I can't like...fix any of this myself. I like to just...take control of situations and I HATE waiting. But I can't control how fast he's ready and it kills my little Aries soul x.X

    If it makes you feel better, I actually see him only once a week or so. So it's going to be a lot harder then you think to make progress. But, like you said, I'll just be myself. I'm gonna have to slip into a comfortable acceptance mode, where this isn't a focus of my life and I just kind of let it happen as is. Cause if I keep my fingers crossed all the time I'm gonna go mental.

    As for 'R', yah, he was probably just busy. Sometimes I'm on msn and I don't even realize it. Then I come back to my computer and I have 10 angry messages from 10 angry people wondering why I'm not responding. LOL, Ooops? So no stressies 😄 That can be our new favorite line.

    Oh, I like that he's had talks with her about divorce. It must suck to be living with someone, enduring a relationship that is like...PLANNED to be over sometime in the future. It's like living in limbo. I really hope that never happens to me. But I'm kind of proud of them for thinking of the children. And I'm guessing he's gonna have to keep you a secret from them for at least a few months so they dont get freaked out that daddy already has a girlfriend. It's just always a question of 'when'. Hence, the waiting game. At least your not alone!

    I think the best thing to do for now is to just...work on you two, together, instead of worrying about what's going on with him and his wife. Because the stronger the bond between you two the clearer it's going to make things. And the more secure you'll feel. If that's possible in this situation....

    And, like you, I'm all questioned out. I probably wont have any more questions until thursday, when I see him next. Hopefully I'll see him...though I think he's supervising. Ugh. I'd rather he was serving.

    Oh, and with the working scaring emotional security....I have been mentioning my internship and how well it's been going a lot lately. Maybe I should stop that...? Am I making him feel bad? Cancers!



  • Well I'm glad you feel better. As I say, I think we both were in a parallel universe on the spazz out thing. I actually was actually racking my brain trying to think of even more questions once I got rolling there, lol.

    Ok, explain the Internship thing to me, is this current job you are in part of the internship or is that a whole different deal? Are you in school right now? "Yes" there are aspects of this that could be making him feel inferior > insecure depending on what you're doing. Cancer's feel inferior at the drop of a hat, and even when we know better, once the seed has been planted we have to muddle and mope our way back out of the insecurity for a while before we remember that we aren't so bad. Yeah, I keep telling you, we Cancers are a pain, but if you manage to get through to us we are loyal friends for life. I'm even friends or at least friendly with every guy I ever dated (other than the ones I've lost track of). I don't even wish ill on my ex-husband and I encourage him in his new life. It's that nurturing side of us, lol. I guess that's a more positive side of our inability to let things go and move on... I don't think I've ever known a Cancer that holds grudges, but we do have to resolve any hurts first before we can get to that next place of acceptance and understanding.

    I like your thoughts about "R" and I think that you are so right, from this point on, if I'm going to stay in this (and it appears that he is going to stay in this) then I need to focus on "us" and ignore all the rest. I feel that we've just gone through a very critical turning point with both of us each stating in our own way, "are you in this or are you out of this?"

    As far as he and his wife, well, I was home for many months with my ex as we went through the divorce process (mandatory 6 month wait in my state when there are children involved). Omg, awkward is an understatement. You're living in something that you want to just be over and yet you know there's still a ton of transition that lies ahead to get through....you're mind is twisted dealing with the struggles of here and now versus trying to get your head around, and try to plan for, what needs to happen next.

    Don't be deluded into thinking that all of this stuff can transpire without the children being affected though - the idea of sticking it out for the kids sounds very saintly, but it can be quite damaging . I personally don't subscribe to the notion that keeping a dysfunctional family together for the sake of the kids is a good idea. Children know very well when things are amiss despite any efforts by parents to hide it. Mind you they've known and observed you as parents their entire lives, they develop an intuition about things. My sons were not the least bit surprised when we announced our divorce and they are pretty young (oldest is just 13).

    From some of the things "R" described, particularly about how often he and his wife dickered over petty issues, I did suggest to him that they were going to have children who went out and repeated that behavior in their relationships. You think you're giving them a shot at "normal" by holding a family together but at the same time you're feeding their heads with unhealthy relationship concepts. (I obviously had a lot of counseling during my divorce process, lol.) As I said in another thread talking about some of this, I like to believe that my sons now have the opportunity to see their parents as their "authentic" selves, unaltered by the daily strife of dealing with an unhappy marriage. And my hope is that they will one day witness how happy their parents are when they find healthy, happy relationships! Ok, so remind me...what am I doing with "R" then, lol!

    I'm trying to remember, did you ever just do a general reading on your "love life" like I requested? You should try that and let's see what comes up. See if you're going to get the point that you kick Cancer boy to the curb.



  • Yah, I did, and apparently like you said I have 'lots of options' (but not really. Oh, and the card they keep getting is the 7 of Cups.) and one person said I would get my wish, but I don't know when that is. The other person said I wouldn't meet anyone new but she sensed that there was already someone in my life, LOL. So I don't know what that means. She said I'd have to go through more trials before I'd find 'the one'. Yay. OH, and I also did one for me and J, and she said she saw change happening in our relationship. Oh and for fun I pulled like, 8 cards, two for 4 catagories, and in 'love' I pulled the Lovers and the World. So....I guess stuff will get decided at some point in the very near future. What's going to happen exactly is beyond me.

    As for my internship, our current job has nothing to do with it. We work at a restaurant, and both of us are trying to get our careers started and get the hell out of there, LOL. With me, I managed to score an internship exactly where I want to be and I'm harassing my way up 'the ladder'. But because of the economy (he's a business man) it's really hard for him to even find places to apply to. But I graduated like....half a year before him, so technically I've had more time kind of floating around so really we're in the same spot. But...., maybe I should just ask the cards. Because once he asked me how my week went, and it went really effing well so I got all excited and started telling him how my dream was coming true and I was moving up in my internship and I had a whole bunch of my really good friends from school working there. And its like....as soon as I started saying all this his mood changed, and he said "Yah, it's good to have friends to support you." and he got up and left. Mind you, he had some tables to serve in the dining room....so I didn't make much of it, but then a week later we were talking about me moving out, and I told him i'd rather save the money now so I could travel. And then I was like "Oh, but did I tell you that I'm animating a--"

    "--YEAH---"

    "-...okay...."

    So I dropped the subject.....eeep??

    As for kids being affected by divorce, haaaaa, I know all about that first hand. My parents divorced when I was 8. But, it took me by complete surprise. I don't remember ever seeing them fight. I thought everything was fine. Maybe I was too young to really understand what my parents meant when they told us they were getting separated. But I do know the whole process kind of messed me up for a few years. Not that my parents had anything to do with that. They were always great to each other, no fights over custody (actually, the opposite. My mom had us and then gave us to our dad cause she couldnt handle raising three kids by herself.) but suddenly only living with one parent like....unbalanced a few things mentally and it took me like 5 or 6 years to get over it completely. Not that I was mental, LOL, just that it took me that long to get used to it.

    So...yah. Divorce sucks. But I would rather they got divorced then lived together miserable, because that would have been way worse. So you're right.



  • Aaaaah, that's what I suspected you were going to say. So...you're kinda scarey and unpredictable to this Cancer. He's not where he thinks he should be in life after making considerable investment in himself and the hopes of building a career. Put this in conflict also with the sense that he made a sacrifice of his "freedom" to head down the "9-5" path and things aren't going as expected. He's probably feeling pretty helpless to change things as well, with the shortage of opportunities to even prove that he can succeed. Here you are, finding successes in all direction, obviously attractive and appealing socially and...well..."ugh, why would a woman like this want me?" probably starts to play in his mind. Possibly thinks that you have the potential to run off when you find someone or something or someplace better - abandon him. Sigh....you know you make me glad I never got involved with a Cancer, I'd be an utter basket-case. This is a huge hurtle to overcome if this is the direction his mind is going because it's so very much NOT about you, it's about him and his insecurities. He may not pull out of this either, until he gets a better opportunity, one that renews his confidence in himself.

    I don't know what to tell you Maria, but I'm feeling like, unless something changes in his life or he just makes a decision to not let his current position in life drag him down, he's going to sit in this state indefinitely. I guess if you REALLY want to keep trying with this guy, tone down your enthusiasm on your success and try to think of ways to keep him encouraged - he would find that appealing. What I don't like about offering that advice is that what I am telling you to do is "don't be yourself - give some of that up to prop him up for now". That goes against my grain spiritually, as you should be free to totally be you. The decision is yours, but frankly, this guy seems like a bad fit for you at this particular time because he has the potential to suck away that great energy you have. Do you have enough to share or is he going to drag you down if you two get in any deeper.....?

    Sorry to hear about your family, but interesting what you said about the switch from one parent to another. We do a straight 50/50 split. I get them for a week, dad gets them for a week, and that's how we do things. I NEVER want to hear one of my son's claim that either one of us "denied" them any opportunity to develop a relationship with one of their parents, nor would I want the burden of feeling that I had put them in that position. We as parents are really flexible about the time in between too, if they miss "dad" well fine, call dad or go see him, lol. I don't feel any compulsion to "own" them emotionally or put pressures on them to choose between us. They're entering puberty, I figure they've got years of their own emotional messes in store for them, I'll try to keep things simple on my end, haha.

    Ok, so I have this little game that I play when I'm involved with someone where I pull one card in the morning asking, "what will his first thought of me be today" and at the end of the day I ask, "what was his last thought of me today". Last night I got 5 of Wands, and that concerned me a bit, but I figure he has a lot of conflicting thoughts on his mind and he'll sleep on it and sort it out. This morning I pulled...argh...The Magician. So, I'm like wtf, what's he up to now. So I asked, "what's motivating this thought?" Got the 3 of Swords. Ugh. I asked "what's he intend to do about whatever is causing this pain?" Got the King of Cups. Not helping me here...so I asked what outcome is the King of Cups seeking" and I got Queen of Pentacles. My card, but you will recall it's also the card that was in an earlier reading that had me so mucked up. Feeling the same confusion here again, I stopped there with my questions. Once that Queen came into play again I'd lost all real perspective. I'll probably do a full reading tonight and try to get some clarification on what the Magician is up to at this point. Perhaps just some fleeting ideas on his part, or is there more to it? I haven't talked to him since I saw him Friday but I haven't concerned myself about it because that last larger reading I did seemed so very constructive. Plus that's what I thought he wanted; to not feel pressured and for me to just let him lead the relationship for now.

    Feel free to comment on today's snapshot of his thoughts. Otherwise I'll let you know what I get in a larger reading. I mean I just don't know what to think, that 3 of Swords is always a very serious card when I get it for myself, and the pain it represents is always right through the heart. I cringe when I see it. I feel like I should do something but don't know what.....but with the Magician I assume he's working his way through it anyhow. I did message him a little "hello" yesterday so he'd know I was thinking of him. Otherwise I know I haven't doled out any pain, it's coming from someplace else inside or outside of him. Surely he knows that I'm here for him, the "separation" of the 3 of Swords is only physical, not emotional. I dunno, this is so unexpected, but I'm not reading any more cards until later in the day so whatever is on his mind has some time to develop.



  • Wow, geeze....I find it so hard to even think about him thinking things like that. He's so charming and attractive, and insanely intelligent. It almost seems impossible that he'd be that insecure. But sometimes I kind of see it....like lately if any guy is complimenting me in front of him I'll see him with his head down. And his mood will change. Like on sunday, I was making those butterballs and I asked someone to hand me saran wrap so I could wrap them up. And the guy was like "here, i'll show you how to do it." so he came over and wrapped them up for me. And one of the guys in the kitchen was like "AWWW, he's trying to show off for the pretty lady!" and I just laughed, and looked at J, and he was looking down and frowning. So I tried to joke with him and was like "Hah, that was easy!" and he just half smiled and nodded. And then he just wasn't as happy as he was before. And it wasnt in my head, because one of the kitchen guys was like "Hey....dude, are you alright?" And he looked up and was like "Yeah, I'm fine." but it took him a while to start joking around again. I mean am I imagining these things? It's insane because they were just joking and the guy who was helping me was repulsive in every sense of the word, as horrible as that sounds. But I mean like....no competition, kind of thing.

    And shit, I'm not that freakin great! Like, really. There are lots of pretty girls working at the restaurant (most of them unavailable, but still). And there are lots of pretty girls in existence and he sees them and flirts with them all the time. I just don't get it.

    And if your worried about him putting a damper on me, I don't know....it's kind of hard, LOL. But if I could help him feel better about himself, I'd love to. I love helping people. And now that I know he might feel like that, Its almost like I have no choice. It's a mission. I would literally walk up to him and tell him all of this stuff, but I think I'd look totally insane. But its seriously the way I'd prefer to do it. Go Aries Go!

    ANYWHO! Onto you. The first thing I wanna say, is keep in mind this is a daily reading, right? So, you asked what he was feeling ATM. Sometimes I have spurts of total depression over J, so if he was to do a tarot reading for me at that particular time, it would give him a very bad overall impression of what was going on. So, Its possible he was just thinking about your situation and feeling bad about it. Maybe he doesn't understand how he can fix the situation, i.e. the Magician. I'm sure he wants everything to be perfect and magical, but he doesn't have that kind of control. Has he not like....called you or anything since you guys talked? Shoot, maybe he's gone into his cave. I dont think the Magician means manipulation this time. I dont see why he would need to do that, after your talk. After the 3 of swords I feel more like he's trying to magically remedy something. Maybe he had a particularly bad day at home, and it made him feel bad that he cant be with you and doesnt know what to do about it?

    OR, maybe that 3 of swords is you and not him. Maybe he's thinking about how hurt you were and is conflicted about how to fix things. I dont think he wants to hurt you and maybe he's trying to think of the best way not to? One card is not helpful, LOL!



  • Hi, was wondering if you could help me out please. I know I said no more readings, but i'm in a bit of a dilemma. As you know I really like this cancer guy and things have been pretty weird between us. I was talking to a friend of mine as it was really upsetting me, and she told me that I should just tell him how I feel and ask him how he feels and to decide wheher he wanted to meet up with me. Well things were going great, I mean he told me that he loves me and that he always did and he always will but said that he just wasn't ready to meet up just yet and could we leave it at that. I went on Facade and did a reading on there and just asked "why won't he meet up with me" and this is what I got:

    The atmosphere sorrounding the central issue:Knight of swords

    Obstacle that stands in your way:The magician

    Your goal, or the best you can achieve without a dramatic change of priorities: Queen of Swords:

    The foundation on which the situation is based. Five of Wands

    A passing influence or something to be released. Four of Swords

    An approaching influence or something to be embraced. Five of Pentacles

    Your role or attitude. Ace of Swords

    Your environment and the people you are interacting with. Page of Pentacles

    Your hopes, fears, or an unexpected element that will come into play. The Lovers

    The ultimate outcome should you continue on this course. Page of Swords

    I need help with this as I don't know if I should just give up on this guy, as painful as it may be



  • Maria, I love your spunk! Well try being really supportive of him and complimentary and see what happens. "Love conquers all" ya know. I'm so nice to "R" now that I actually scared him last week, haha. Going to stay that way too. At least I think I will...maybe...lol. Ok so get this, I pulled 2 cards midday to check his "status" and got The Moon and 3 Wands. Pulled 2 cards when I got home and still got The Moon and 3 of Swords (it gets freakier, hang on).

    So I'm thinking he feels in the dark about something and it's bugging him. So soon as I got home from work I logged on the IM (his computer is in the shop but he can get IM's on his phone). He came on-line within like a minute of me logging in. Even if he hadn't I was going to message him just so he knew I was thinking about him. So, not even figuring he'd reply, I started typinging my standard greeting, "hey you". I no sooner typed "hey you" and was just about to hit send when he popped on "hey u". Bizarre.... I told him I had JUST typed the same thing at same time! Anyway, we just chit-chatted, nothing major, how was your day kind of stuff. I made a point to compliment him a couple of times because, like you, I was thinking he just had a really bad day going. I have a job interview tomorrow so told him I'd IM an update tomorrow. "Bye, kiss".

    I jumped over to Facade for a one-card answer to "does he feel better now" and got the 3 of Wands. How crazy is all that??? All of the other cards I pulled from my deck. Always kinda freaky when my cards match up to an online reading. So with all of this strangeness going on, I did a Celtic Cross reading on Facade asking "what IS he feeling about us right now" and got:

    8 of pents covered by the 10 of pents for situation

    Foundation of matter The Moon

    Recent history 3 of Swords

    Possible outcome 2 of Cups

    Near future 8 of Cups

    His current thoughts Queen of Pents

    Influences surrounding him 10 of cups

    Hopes, fears, unexpected Ace of Cups

    Outcome 8 of Wands

    A few familiar cards there, eh? Lol.

    My overall take on things is that he's got his mind on some long-range thoughts/planning here and he's stressing and confused about me in all of it somehow. Don't know if that's good or bad as far as I'm concerned (that damn Queen of Pents as far as the "outcome' ealier tells me nothing other than I'm in the picture - also showing up in the Celtic Cross - I'm on his mind.) But I keenly sense that it's something going on in him (recall my "intuitive" thoughts in earlier post), and I don't think that he's worried about my being hurt, unless whatever he's planning is going to result in some hurt for me, but that's really contradictory to the direction things seemed to be going in my last big reading about our relationship. I think you'll agree, things just looked steady and stable. Can he really change direction that fast? Our little Magician here is up to something though, like you, not saying it's anything manipulative, but it's troubling him somehow and I'm obviously on his mind in the cards and in reality.

    I'm not concerned about it either, I feel quite peaceful about whatever is going on and pretty much convinced that there's nothing I can do about whatever is on his mind - I'm here for him and he knows that, the rest he's going to have to sort out on his own. That "outcome" with the 8 of Wands in the Celtic Cross is interesting though. Something happening fast. Oh well, ready or not, he's trying to figure out something here (supported by that 8 of Cups) - moving on with or away from something. If it's me, I just hope he'll make it quick and as painless as possible. :o(



  • Man, what was he so upset about? In recent history for your celtic cross you got 3 of swords again. Maybe this refers to what happened before where you gave him an ultimatum, before you guys talked everything over? The situation seems to be him working away at the basis of your relationship, or maybe trying to do things properly this time. I like the 2 of cups as the possible outcome. At least he's working towards something good. But then near future is 8 of cups, that card scares me. It's funny, I've been getting it and I don't know what to make of it. Maybe, for you, it means leaving behind more of his safety and taking more risks with you. It would make sense, with the 2 of cups as a possible outcome. AND the 8 of wands as an outcome. Hopes and fears as the ace....weird. I wouldn't think that would need to be there.

    All in all, I think this reading just means he's done a lot more thinking and is finally going to be moving in some kind of direction (again.) this time his thinking seems to be a lot more emotional then before. It's funny, he seems to be more active now then when you asked him to think about things, LOL! Maybe something happened with his wife? 3 of wands reminds me of getting to another stage of a quest and waiting for results. Maybe this is just aftermath of what you guys talked about, which is what you wanted!

    I don't think it's gonna be bad. The 8 of cups looks scary, but its not always a bad thing. Leaving behind something you've put a lot of emotional investment in....sounds like his marriage!

    I did a couple of readings I wanted you to take a look at. Now, I totally believe you about him being insecure about my internship...but I really wanted to SEE it. So, I asked: What does J feel when I talk about my internship? and got:

    Death, 5 of Wands, Heirophant, Chariot.

    So....he feels a change is coming and is struggling to figure out the 'proper' direction for him to take as a result....? Am I actually encouraging him?

    Another one I did that I really want you to look at, is I asked: How does J think I feel about him?

    10 of Pents, Chariot, 8 of Cups. Shadow Card: 10 of Swords.

    Uhh....so, the shadow card is a little scary. Maybe he thinks I feel defeated and am gonna give up and move away from him? Which is funny because I thought I showed him a lot of attention on sunday. I'm curious how he's gonna act now....

    Another thing I wanted to mention, is that, as I mentioned, whenever I forget to say something to him I'll text message him about it. He rarely responds, so I always assume he didn't like that I text him. BUT, I do a reading about how he felt, and its always so positive! And lately, I've gotten the 9 of cups as the first card for a few of the texts i've sent him.

    Is this....really as good as it looks? Once was on sunday, when I text him to thank him for not cutting me (it was dead) and that I had a fun shift. He didnt respond, I asked how he felt about it and got the 9 of cups as the first card (9 of cups, lovers, 8 swords, 3 cups) The other was when I revealed uh....well, very personal information about just how non-slutty I am, lets just say. I sent him a text later explaining that it was because I hadnt found anyone who loved me who I liked, and I asked how he felt when he read that text and got the 9 of cups as the first card again.(9 cups, 3 wands, Knight Pent, 5 Pent). Another time I asked why he didnt respond to one of my texts, and got the 9 of cups as the first card! (9 of cups, 8 of swords, 4 of swords). EHH?



  • Ok, leave "you" out of it on your first question because to me it looks like the feelings you evoke in him when you talk about your internship aren't necessarily specific to you. Death is about his transformation/evolution to a different type of lifestyle, towards the more traditional role of working steadily in a career and the 5 just shows that nothing is going the way it's supposed to for him, the competition is strong and it's causing him stress, but he is determined that he will get where he needs to go (Chariot) and is just keeping focused on the goal. But meanwhile, hearing about your path unfolding is a reminder that he's not where he wants to be.

    What are you calling the "shadow card"? I don't want to misinterpret things here. Is that the card that I call the moon?

    I'm getting the 10 of Swords in a couple of brief readings about what's on "R"'s mind. Trying not to hone in on the "negatives" but that card is always troubling. He's feeling sorry for himself or victimized over something? I haven't hurt him, honest I haven't! Lol. Been nothing but kind and supportive. You know, I had a very important job interview today. It could mean big changes in my life and will also alter how often I could see him going forward. I have a lot of flexibility in my daily schedule right now, and if I were to get this job it would put me back on a "9-5" schedule. Would make it very difficult for us to get together. I wonder if some of what I'm reading in him lately is trying to sort out what happens if I get back on my career path (which has always been the goal, only maybe it's starting to sink in with him that it will happen one of these days).

    He's so fond of planning what happens between us and this would be a big chunk of life that neither he nor I can control. I need a full time job to take care of my family that is just reality - but it could mean "party's over" for us because no more rendezvous during the day - at his convenience. Not talking just about intimate time together either, it's the ONLY time we spend together. If indeed he cares about me it is going to become all too clear now that the situation of him being married is what keeps us apart. He sometimes finds other excuses like "the distance" and I keep pulling him back to the real issue, "no dude, it's the fact that you're married that keeps us apart - I'd happily drive thirty minutes to see you, but I don't think I'd be very welcome at your house right now". Lol.

    9 of Cups doesn't surprise me in your readings. He is fond of you, we've seen that all along. Probably like many guys he's not big on texting but he obviously likes the attention and knowing that he's on your mind.

    Got to deal with the boys here, let me know on that "shadow" card and I'll get back with you on that one later.



  • Shadow card, for me, is the card that is behind the deck when you do your reading. Like, flip the deck over and thats the card you see. It's supposed to be 'hidden factors', or influences that are unseen. So, whats going on at the root of the matter, essentially. I always like to get a glimpse of that card, it gives a little more spice and info to the reading.

    The thing about the texting, is that he's ALWAYS text messaging people. He has his phone on him all the time, and checks it at least a handful of times per shift. I am not big on text messaging, LOL! I check my phone before my shift and after my shift. So, I'm always so insulted when he doesn't answer me back, because I see him texting people all the time. The only thing I can think of, is that maybe he feels like if he answers me with half the things I say, it'll sound like he's interested. He doesn't want a relationship so I know he avoids that as much as possible. And you know...shit, that makes sense. I did a reading asking why he doesnt answer, but I dont know if I remember half the cards. But the ONE card I remember is REVERSED 8 of wands, which to me means stagnation or lack of progression. I think the reading was: 8 of wands (rx), 3 of wands, chariot, world. I think. Pretty sure....so I guess that makes sense. I think I just answered my own question! LOL.

    Ohhh, and you know what, now that you mention that interview your reading makes so much sense. Especially the moon card. Now the future is unclear. He obviously has decisions to make about what actions he wants to take in the event that you get the job (3 of wands). 8 of cups makes sense, too! Right now he's comfortable....but he might have to leave his comfort zone if you get a job, cause thats the only way he's gonna see you. Taking more risks, having to re-arrange his schedule, maybe at the notice of his wife? Though from your other reading she might already know somethings up. Big change he might not be looking forward to.

    Ahhh and the situation cards make sense, too! Working to keep the solid foundation you guys have had all along. He wants things to stay the way they are, but if you get the job they cant. But from the outcome cards, it looks like everything is going to be okay.

    I like his current thoughts, too. Yes, Q0P is you, but she is also solid and secure. I always get the feeling of motherly safety. So, he's thinking about you and the security you represent, and up until now, the stability. Which I'm sure he wants to maintain, and now has to work for. Good for him!

    Good luck on your interview, girl!!! Knock em dead! And knock some sense into him, aha!



  • Oh wait, you had it already. Ahahaha. Just good luck then!



  • Sky, sorry hun, forgot about you!

    So...the general theme I'm getting from your reading, is that he's holding back from you because he's conflicted about what direction to take things. He obviously has the power (the magician) to change everything, and I'm sure he knows it, but that 5 of wands and 5 of pentacles tells me he's torn and doesn't know what to do. He's still feeling down and out, so to speak. As we've witnessed (and as Jenever has mentioned) until Cancers get over their hurt, they cant move on. He clearly hasn't recovered.

    Page of pentacles (or any pentacle card) is a slow mover. It's all about moving slowly from the ground up. Your dealing with someone who likes to take his time, so you have to move with him.

    It seems like the cards are telling you to use your head more in this situation. Queen of swords holds her emotions in check and is very calculating about everything. Be careful not to be overly emotional. I don't see any disinterest here, on his part. I still see pain, and uncertainty. You also got Ace of Swords as your role, so cut through to the truth. Put all the pieces together. Think before acting. Be fair.

    So, all in all, he is not refusing to see you from disinterest (from what I can see here). He's being honest when he says he isnt ready to meet up. Try giving him a little more time.



  • Maria - It's so interesting reading your analysis of Sky's cards. You have such a nice way of tying things together to paint the whole picture. I'm learning a lot from you, as I think I tend to read cards point by point, kinda of going for the highlights/big trends. I also wasn't aware that the shadow card had a name but I ALWAYS have looked at it because over time I just logically thought, "well when I cut the deck that card might have significance as it's the point where I made the cut". Does that make sense, lol?

    So, back to that little reading earlier about how J thinks you feel about him, it's that same theme of he's working towards a goal of finding a more rewarding position and he seems to think you know this based on your question. Now that I understand the shadow card, he's thinking maybe that you feel sorry for him, or look down on him, or on a more positive note, perhaps he does know that you understand his predicament, that due to the job climate is he unable to reach the professional level in life that he's seeking at this time. Being a Cancer, probably a little of both, lol.



  • Maria - It's so interesting reading your analysis of Sky's cards. You have such a nice way of tying things together to paint the whole picture. I'm learning a lot from you, as I think I tend to read cards point by point, kinda of going for the highlights/big trends. I also wasn't aware that the shadow card had a name but I ALWAYS have looked at it because over time I just logically thought, "well when I cut the deck that card might have significance as it's the point where I made the cut". Does that make sense, lol?

    So, back to that little reading earlier about how J thinks you feel about him, it's that same theme of he's working towards a goal of finding a more rewarding position and he seems to think you know this based on your question. Now that I understand the shadow card, he's thinking maybe that you feel sorry for him, or look down on him, or on a more positive note, perhaps he does know that you understand his predicament, that due to the job climate is he unable to reach the professional level in life that he's seeking at this time. Being a Cancer, probably a little of both, lol.


Log in to reply