He confuses me..

  • I am a scorpio 26/10, he is a virgo 14/9. I've totally fell for him but he is so confusing! We were getting on great, I was sure he felt the same way about me but when I told him I'd like to be more then friends he backed off. Then he got warmer again and then he goes cold on me again. I just dont know what to think anymore, I know I dont want to feel the way i feel about the situation anymore. Am I better off just forgetting about trying to be friends with him even? I dont have a lot of patience and he is so trying at times am I better just moving on? I have read so much about virgo men and he does semm to be a typicaal one but I feel like my life is on hold waiting for him, Please can someone give me some insight??

  • An interesting moulding dynamic is at work here, more so than in other relationships. The two of you have the ability to adapt yourselves in serious ways to each other and to your environment without compromising your essential individuality. You achieve this through the taste for quiet reflection and thoughtfulness that your relationship engenders. Yet you two will have to periodically withdraw in order to assess the situation in which you find yourselves. Having done so, you will re-emege more flexible, fitting either into some new form or more comfortably into the old one.

    A love affair or marriage here can be highly social. Rather than burying yourselves in secretive and hidden activities (which both of you may do with other people), you two can thrive on interactions with others, perhaps during parties, dinners, outdoor events or vacations. It is usually through your social contact with outsiders to your relationship that you really get to know and appreciate each other. You two must be careful to foster intimacy between you and to give it time to develop.Your friend's tendency to want to dominate you must be watched carefully, for it can lead to resentment and even rejection. And if you try to dominate him, he will back off. Respect and some semblance of equality must be preserved if this relationship is to work.

    In a friendship here, you may be cast as an observer, a role to which you are well suited. Your natural attentiveness may lead you to obsessive examinations of your friend, however, and while he may be flattered by this at first, he will ultimately be made quite uncomfortable by it. He is very stable in this matchup, which can make you quite dependent - you must be careful not to let the relationship assume too much importance in your life. Both of you will come to resent the relationship if it binds you too tightly. His 'blowing hot, then cold' may be because you are showing too much possessiveness, aggression, or claiming attitudes for him to handle. Try not to come on too strong or impatient for him - Virgos need a lot of space in which to process their feelings, as emotions are not something they feel comfortable or capable of dealing with.

  • Captain I’m in serious need of help and understanding. My husband was deployed for four months, he just got home on 9 dec. About a month before he came home, he stated several times that he is bored and doesn’t want to put any effort into the marriage anymore. Prior to this he was saying we are going to be a stronger couple and the past is the past. When he came home, I was hoping when he saw me the “I’m bored” feelings would go away and I thought they had. We had a great weekend and I thought he was actually trying to save our marriage. We got in a huge fight Monday night and he said I was going to wait to have this talk “the divorce” till after the holidays. The reason for the fight was I caught him sexting two females. He said he was just flirting and he’s not sleeping with anyone. He slept downstairs that night. The next morning he comes to the bedroom and says I’ll see you later right, and throughout the day he was telling me what he was doing and asking how my day was. We went out to dinner and I asked him straight up, do you want to try and save our marriage- he never gave a straight answer. The following night we went out to the comedy club and he slept upstairs with me. I came from work yesterday, and try cuddling with him and he said why would I cuddle with you. I said bc you’re trying to fix us, we are trying to fix us… it escalated to another fight. I honestly believe that he still loves me and he wants to stay but for some reason he keeps saying that he just doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore, like he is trying to convince himself that this is what he wants but his actions are saying something different. I don’t understand how you can marry someone, tell them you never loved someone so much , and all of sudden want out. I’m so confused and all I want is my husband back. I don’t know what to do anymore. Please help me understand.

  • My bday is 6/6/80, his is 8/2/88 our anniversary is 9/9/10

  • Slubear, please start your own thread as this is Windintheair's thread. I will answer you there. It can get confusing if two different people's vibes get mixed in the one thread.

  • thankyou Captain, i've decided just to leave him to do the initiating of all contact for the time being, seen a side of him at xmas that I wasnt to keen on. I just feel that I'm just someone to pass the time for him when hes bored, I know we probably never be more than friends so time for me to focus on myself and maybe then someone will come into my life that deserves me.

  • Good thinking!

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