How to make my Cancer man go gaga over Scorpio lady?
Please someone help. I am a Scorpio woman in love with a Cancer man and I think this is the real deal, but I have never dated a Cancer man and I don't know what to do. I have only known him for three weeks and we have only gone out on two dates. But when we have gone out, we can't stop kissing and since we have only met in restaurants, I feel like people must see us and think, "get a room!" But we have yet to have sex. But I know it will be incredible once it happens. His kisses keep me yearning for more.
I am your typical Scorpio woman, very passionate and very intense. But my little Scorpio heart has been in a deep slumber for many years and now it has finally woken up with this Cancer man's kisses.
I am in love. I think I have met my soul mate. And for me to say this takes a lot. I didn't think there was such a thing as a soul mate or the "One". But now I understand why people say that you will know once you meet him.
The last time I felt this way was 15 years ago. When I was in my twenties and went to study a year abroad to Spain. I fell head over heals for this sexy Swedish (Libra) guy that was also studying at the university I was attending. We fell in love and he soon took me to his country to meet his parents, sister and best friend. All was well until the school year ended, our visas expired, our love affair ended and my heart was broken.
So, here I am today reliving this euphoric feeling I thought I would never feel again. Only this time, I'm older and a bit wiser . But with this new love I am feeling more on a deeper level. I am afraid that this is the kind of love people talk about and it is catching me so off guard that I don't know what to do.
While my new Cancer love is very loving, affectionate while in person, once we leave the date I don't hear from him. He doesn't call nor text me unless I initiate the texting. I don't understand because when we are together he just can't stop touching my legs under the table and is constantly telling me I am beautiful and every other minute he is searching for my lips to kiss me. This guy is amazing. He makes me feel so special and pampered. And like I said we have only had two encounters but I simply can't stop thinking about him. I am deep in love. And yes, maybe a little deep in lust too.
The reason why I decided to post this is because I have never had a situation where the guy is not pursuing me and calling me. But my Cancer love is not making the moves I am used to and I don't know how to handle it. But being the true Scorpio woman that I am I can honestly say that although I feel frustrated and confused I am also delighting in the sweet torment my new love is putting me through. But I don't know if I can't take it anymore and I don't want to do anything to scare him away.
Does anybody out there have any advice for this Scorpio woman that has finally found that electricity with someone again? And that someone just so happens to be an elusive Cancer man.
Your Cancer man is not as intense as you, and he is more insecure. While you are apart, he is wondering if you could really be attracted to him. Some time will have to pass before he feels confident enough about the relationship. Until then, go easy on him with your intensity, jealousy, and possessiveness. Don't ever try to rush him or manipulate him with your sexuality because he will hate that, even though he can be manipulative and controlling himself. You both like to keep secrets, yet hate when the other person hides things from you - you will both have to learn to trust and open up to each other if you want to make a success of it. Your willingness to take risks and enter into unknown situations is considered foolish by him, while you may find him less courageous. He may also find you too suspicious, while you may find him alternatively clingy and cold at times. You are both moody water signs, which can cause some relationship problems. But you understand each other emotionally and intuitively and any problems can be worked out if you both decide you want to be together, because both of you are strongly determined people with a lot of respect for true love and sincere devotion.
TheCaptain hit the nail on the head! I second what she has said. "PATIENCE" is THE operative word when it comes to Cancer men; and in my opinion and experience, Scorpio women are the best ones to provide the type of patience and understanding that is unquestionably required with Cancers. But like TheCaption as said in time they will come around, they have to develop a security and confidence in you and the relationship; once they've introspectively evaluated every side of the relationship they will become more secure, trusting and less evasive/elusive! Scorpio and Cancer understand each other in a way like no other two signs. They (Cancer) like the Scorps are one of the most 'mis-understood' of signs.
So like I always say, if you are a "patient" person Cancer will invoke you to use your patience in dealing with them until they become more emotionally settled in the relationship but, if you do not have patience and you decide that they are worth the effort to 'hang in there' until cruise-control kicks in you will definitely learn/gain patience! In either case, they are well worth the wait for a Scorpio!!
Light and Love,
Thank you TheCaptain for replying to my post. I appreciate your input. I will try to tame my intensity.
But I must say that he loves to provoke me. On our last date I invited him to a jazz club with a live band and I asked him how he behaves when he gets drunk. And he responded, "I get even more charming that I already am." I replied, "Well if you get anymore charming I will have to start taking off my clothes." He immediately called the waiter for another glass of wine. We both started laughing and then he kissed me again.
We have fun teasing each other during the course of our dates. But I am not all about rushing in to bed and having S**. I am very compassionate, loving and loyal. The reason I invited him to a jazz club was because on our first date he mentioned that he has formed a music band with his three children in his garage. He has been divorced for ten years and he has a 13 yr , 15 yr and 19 year old. I thought that was very endearing that such a busy attorney would make time to do this to bond with his kids. So I thought that I would take him to this nice music venue that offers open mike nights and have him enjoy the live band. When I asked him if he was enjoying our second date with my head on his shoulder and his arm around me, he replied, "Are you kidding me? I am in heaven right now. I am enjoying great live music in the company of a beautiful woman." He loved it so much that he thanked me for taking him there and told me he wants to takes his kids to dinner there and convince them to play on stage with him. He is an amazing father. He has asked me if I like children on both our dates. And he has asked me why I haven't had kids. I just turned 40 years old this Nov 1, 2011. I have told him that I love children, I just have never met the man I want to have my offspring with. I know that sounds very clinical but it is true. I have never met a man that I would wanted to have children with. Well, not until now!
Lets see what happens. Wish me luck. Oh and please send me some advice on how to seduce this charming Cancer man, that would be great! I want him to go gaga over me and I want him to feel the same way I do. I do see myself marrying this man. Me, of all people. I have turned down three marriage proposals. I was never to crazy to get married just for the sake of getting married. I never gave up the thought of holding off until I met the man of my dreams. And I think I finally have. I know its very premature of me to say this. But like my older wiser happily married friends tell me when I ask them how they knew they had found the love of their lives, that always say the following: "You will just know, when you find him."
Thank you in advance for any advice.
Thank you The Tranformed for your advice. I didn't thank you in my previous post because I guess I was writing my reply to TheCaptain while you were writing your post. Thank you for telling me that I need to have patience. I will follow all of the advice I get here. I really don't want to mess this up. I have been waiting for 40 years for him to show up in my life, so I guess I can wait a little longer to allow him to take this love in.
By the way The Transformed are you a cancer male?
I welcome everybody's replys but I am curious to see what a cancer man would advice on how to seduce one of their own.
Best wishes to everyone. This is a great site! I will continue to post on this site all of my future dates I have with this Cancer man and let you know what develops. I will apply all the advice I get and who knows maybe you guys will help me catch this wonderful man and I will one day post on how happily married we are.
I have a date with him this coming Friday or Saturday. Not sure right now. When we parted ways on our last date I asked him when he wanted to see me again. He said the following Friday or Saturday, he wasn't sure what day because he had to see his schedule. He said we would talk before then to decide on the day. Well this was last Wednesday, today is Tuesday..six days later. Friday is around the corner and no call nor text from him so far. So far he is being true to his nature. But I am going crazy. Time for me to practice patience, I guess. I will allow him to make the call. But I swear If I don't hear from him by Thursday it is going to be very hard for me to refrain from calling him. I usually go for what I want. This relationship is really testing my limits. Please help.
You are very welcome I too am a Scorpio female! In my opinion, you don't need to work at 'seducing' this Cancer man, so to speak. The word has a connotation of 'manipulation' to it and that is an unfair emotional plow that both Scorps and Cancers alike can be guilty of and neither of them likes it being done to them; so I wouldn't encourage it. You seem to already have him in your good graces, or under your "spell" if you will, lol! What Cancers enjoy most from their Scoripio, or any woman for that matter, is for them to be themselves. The can find more security in this than when you are not being yourself because then you likely exhibit vacillating demeanor/behaviors much like they themselves tend to do and then find it harder to gain trust and security in you and the relationship because you then bring and element of unpredictability. They themselves tend to have an element of such, but theirs is more innate and not willful. Cancers are ruled by the Moon which rules the emotions/feelings so they are generally rather 'moody', but they themselves feel victimized by this characteristic but it is not easy for them to control.
Best advice I can give you is "be yourself' with him; it is apparently what has won him over to this point thus far. You don't need a 1-2-3 step with this guy. The chemistry between you two (Cancer/Scorpio) is one of ease and has a natural affinity; not too much is 'hard' about this match; only if the two make it hard, but again the affinity between you is a naturally easy/free flowing one. Just relax and let him see you who really are. If you feel the desire to all him on Wed/Thurs, do it! Scorps tend to be more direct and forthright than Cancers due to their "secret" insecurity so rescue him, lol! These men utterly fear 'rejection'! Remember that
Best of love surround you,
As you have seen, Cancers are HUGE on family and the home. If you can't cook and keep house, you had better learn if you want this man in your life. He's looking for a domestic goddess (in his kitchen) and a sex goddess (in the bedroom). But don't make yourself into anything you are not - if he finds out you are not the person you seem to be, he will be gone. Besides, you shouldn't have to change yourself for anyone. If he truly is your soulmate, then you will be perfect for him as you are.
Thank you TheCaptain I have been reading other posts on this site for hours now, haha. I love reading people's heart felt postings. My heart goes out to those with broken hearts seeking some solid advice here.
I always try to be true to myself. But I can see why you warn me, I know it is easy to try to mold ourselves to what the object of our affection wants us to be. But I do love to cook and I also love S**. HELLO, I am a Scorpio woman
I was actually planning on baking him Xmas cookies and giving it to him next time I see him. But I don't want to come across as too desperate and anxious to please him. I don't know what to do.
I sometimes wonder whether he thinks of me even one fraction of what I think of him. If he does then I think I will be O.K. Because that still would be a lot.
As far as getting more physically intimate with him, I know that he and I are like magnets when we are physically close to one another. He asked me if I wanted to get a room on our first date. I politely said no.
But If he asks me this again on our third date I don't know if I will be able to resist. I don't want to jump into a physical relationship without being exclusive. Because if he plays this hide a go seek game once I have given myself over to him body and soul. I will kill him! (Just kidding) But you ladies no what I mean. I will not become a casual bed buddy for him.
Which brings me to this very important question: How do I tell him that I want to hold off the S- E - X until we are a little more serious, like in an exclusive relationship. Will he interpret that as using S -E -X as a manipulation tool? I just don't want to put myself out there to be used by Mr. Evasive Cancer.
I want to keep him wanting me. But I am dying to have S- E- X with him. AGHHH!
Scorpiowomaninlove, I'm a Capricorn woman going through the EXACT SAME THING with the Cancer I started dating recently. It's been almost 2 months for us and he's still doing the same behaviors you mentioned -- when we are together, it's amazing; he's so sweet and affectionate and passionate, but then when we aren't together, he vanishes for days on end and i have to track him down if i want to make plans. it is SO FRUSTRATING! Like you said, I'm not used to having to pursue men, and I don't like doing it, honestly, but I am falling for him pretty hard and the idea of NOT seeing him makes me miserable.
Sorry I can't give any advice here -- just wanted to commiserate and let you know I'm having the same issues with my guy. It must be a Cancer thing.
(I started a thread about pretty much the same topic, too, if you're curious. :))
Oh also, Scorpioinlove, about the sex stuff -- I was in the same boat as you there, too. I wanted to sleep with him REALLY badly but I felt too insecure in the relationship (his constant disappearing acts, etc.). I told my Cancer guy that I wanted to hold out for sex until I was "ready". What I really meant was that I wanted to wait until we were sexually monogamous, but I didn't tell him that until a few weeks ago. Before we finally started sleeping together (about 5-6 weeks after we started dating), I told him I didn't sleep with people who were sleeping with anyone else. He agreed to that, and he said he wasn't sleeping with anyone else (he also said he has NEVER slept with more than one person in the same time period). So that sealed the deal for me.
Last weekend we agreed to not date other people (again, I had to be the one to bring it up, but he seemed totally open to it).
What I am gathering from my experiences with my Cancer guy is that whenever I suggest anything, he is usually open to it, whether it's us getting together, being sexually exclusive, being romantically exclusive, etc. He just doesn't verbalize these things himself -- he waits for me to take the lead. It's frustrating and I've never dated a guy like this before, but I guess it might just be how this thing goes if I want to continue seeing him (and I do).
Be very careful ladies - if you look through this forum, you will see that the Cancer man gets the most complaints and stirs up frustrations more than any other sign. He seems to be the most complicated of men. But there are success stories too.
Thanks, Captain... I'm trying to enter this relationship with my cancer guy gingerly, because i can already see how potentially frustrating it could be. He is just so great though in so many ways, and i haven't felt this way about someone in years and years. I'm pretty much a goner at tbis point... But I'm trying to keep my wits about me here!
If you try to "make him go gaga", theres a good chance that your plan will backfire. It goes back to the talk of manipulation... and even more towards manipulation with the most sacred components of the human soul (to a Cancer anyways), love, trust, security, etc. Speaking only for myself, I can say that I've just recently been in a somewhat similar situation, and i must admit, I liked being called, and contacted, because it made me feel wanted and loved, and most of all happy. Thats not to say that I never reached out to call her, but especially in the beginning, its was for me sort of a litmus test to just how committed this person was to me, how much they actually cared about communicating with me... etc. And you have to remember; if all you do is have sex, eventually one or both of you (most likely him first) will get the feeling like "oh she/he only cares to have sex with me; she's not actually interested in ME, but only what I have to offer"... and again, speaking only for myself, that's an instant dealbreaker, no matter how painful for me it might be. And, in my situation, thats exactly what happened with me, and it turned out to be true, because a Cancer can smell it from a mile away, and can smell it instantly.
Moral of my story: be true and be what you say you are. Even if he plays little games, they are due to insecurity over anything else, and once you cross the threshold of trust as a pair, those games will no longer exist, and you will become closer and closer. If you cannot cross that threshold, your relationship will never elevate, even and especially if you try to force it. Coercion will be recognized instantly, and will not be tolerated.
That is essentially the instruction manual. If you find the product is defective, you are probably better off without it anyways........ Best of luck.
And one more point of advice... if you do indeed feel you've found your soul mate in him, and you very well may have, above all, DONT TELL HIM until you've cross that threshold of trust. Although Cancers have been stereotyped as "clingers", I myself hate when others cling to me, especially early on. Its viewed as sort of an encroachment, and can only be remedied with time, trust, and comfort levels. If you tell him that before you feel that trust have been established, it will be viewed as clinging most likely. Someone once told me that they thought we were soul mates, and not only did I not believe them because it was so early on, I was like "oh Jesus what a flake of a person... wheres the depth? I barely know you and you're doing all this soul mate talk...." You are a Scorpio, so I know you have depth, but its something that must be understood and realized, rather than just told. You must walk the path together, and the relationship is best when flow is established.
Consider this the addendum to the manual haha.
Thanks everyone for all of your advice.
Lala, I hope all is well with you and your new relationship. It seems like you know how to handle your evasive cancer pretty well. Heck, you already are in an exclusive relationship. Great for you. But I can tell that you are very frustrated with his aloofness. But I hope I can handle this guy as well as you have.
Captain, you are a wealth of information. Thank you for advising and I will follow caution with my Cancer guy.
Transformed, I appreciate all of your input. I agree that my restless spirit needs to practice patience. And although it seems he is smitten by me already, unfortunately he only shows it when we are together. I could die in a car accident and he wouldn't even know of it. Like today after the California rains I almost got hit by a speeding bus. I count my blessings I am still alive to post here today. Mr. Crab hasn't bothered to contact me so, he wouldn't never have known of my tragic ending
Duke: You are very right about being real and genuine. Nobody likes to feel coerced or manipulated into anything, especially in matters of the heart. I tend to be dramatic when I express myself. Like when I say I want to seduce him, I simply mean that I want him to fall in love with me. I do realize that we can not force that on anyone, but I know that maybe with love, patience and understanding this special cancer sign, maybe I can help things along.
Please tell me and the other ladies here why exactly did you end your "very similar" relationship. Did you feel manipulated? Did you feel you were being used for S* E X? If so, why did you feel that way? I am just curious to understand what motivates a cancer man to break off a relationship and what motivates him to pursue and fall in love with a woman?
Today, I am feeling a little down, because I texted my cancer guy yesterday, Wednesday, to ask him if he wanted to meet with me Friday or Saturday like he suggested last time we parted ways. And although he acknowledged my text by saying "Hi" and "Wow" , "Means lots o luck" to a photo of a double rainbow I texted him. He never answered my question. Friday is tomorrow already and I don't know if he expects me to hang around and not make weekend plans until I hear from him last minute. I know I need to practice patience with this guy but really c'mon throw me FN bone here. At this point I feel like telling him I made other plans if he calls me last minute. I don't want to set the precedent that he can leave me hanging for an answer until last minute like he is doing. But I don't want him to feel rejected and crawl even further into his shell. Please advice on how I should handle this.
Thank you all for all of your great input. Please continue to post your thoughts. I need all the help I can get. Thank you. And best wishes and blessings to all.
By the way this is the double rainbow I saw when I stepped out of my office yesterday. It was absolutely breath taking seeing it in person.
Hope you like it.
Ooops, I had trouble uploading my picture.
Like a true scorpio I am stubborn and I am trying again to upload my double rainbow. Last try though. Sorry..
I welcome all Cancer men to please give me advice on how to relate to you guys. I want to give my guy his space, but how do I know when I can approach?
And ladies your hard earned wisdom is also welcome
Well, if I were him, and I wanted to hang out with you, I'd say "Hey, lets hang out this weekend..." If I didn't wanna hang out, I probably wouldn't speak in riddles; I would actually give you the real reason I didn't wanna hang out with you this weekend, whatever it may be. I"m straight up, for the most part, most of the time. I have little to no filter, and I'll tell you how it is, because thats the way I FEEL... but through my morality I also FEEL that it is important to not bullshit you, so you can take my feelings and opinions and like em or not, it is what it is. Most Cancers are not like this, but I am... and according to my chart I am very Cancer... Sun, Rising, Mercury, Venus.... I honestly don't know how it works when a woman seduces me... it just happens... theres no technical manual. She's good at what she does and I like it...a lot... Its all based on FEELING... you have to feel your way into my soul and heart through your quality and GENUINENESS OF CHARACTER. Again, I cannot state this enough, I only speak for myself, but that what it takes for me.... that and all stars being aligned just perfectly...
I'm kind of into Numerology, and I'm a 7 life path... which makes me a "loner" as they say... They say loner, I say connoisseur of quality... Quality and integrity of everything are important to me... most of all quality and integrity of personality in a woman... i.e. how she carries herself, how she talks, how she walks, the class she exudes as she moves... how one foot glides in front of the other... how her hips move... how the rhythm of her heels hitting the ground sounds... Quality of personality... I watch how she treats others... If she favours favoritism, I don't favour her... I don't like people that think they're better than others... I notice everything, and remember everything.... All actions and reactions are tells, of the spirit that lies within... you can't make him love you; you show yourself to him by everything you do and everything that you are... every word, every action and inaction... He is the ultimate "Big Brother"... because him watching and feeling you in order to formulate a FEELING of you hedges himself against any pain or hurt later on down the road... so what you "say" to him through yourself is kind of like his litmus test for what he's in store for later on. If you make it out of "probation" (for lack of a better term), then you've established trust. You have made it to the "you break my heart and you're done phase".
Maybe your character may have slighted him and turned him off... I don't know... one time with me it was a story I was being told... the girl was a manager and admittedly knowingly treated her workers like garbage, and from that moment on I lost ALL respect for her... I just couldn't relate to a person like that.
If it doesn't work out, there are PLENTY more Cancer crabs sipping up the salt water of Mother Earth.................