Taurus women, Gemini Man
To be brief:
I met Gemini man through a friend. We hit it off right away.... relationship progressed quickly. He fell in love with me and I him.
His life has been going through a major transition. After 1.5 years of not being able to drive (license suspension) he was getting a car and freedom. Around the same time, he begins to pull away a little. I am ok, after all, he has some freedom to go where he wants when he wants! But our sex life decreased also. This all started around the beginning of Nov.
Fast forward to Thanksgiving morning when I wake up at 5 am with a nagging feeling to look on his phone email. (I know! Such an invasion of privacy..... but the intuition was in over drive!) I discover some major sexual flirting with various women, most off an adult website. Talk of meeting though i didn't see anything leading me to believe it did happen. Very close to happening though. The bull in me awakes and I tell him to leave, I know what he was doing. He still claims to not have cheated, that this talking was all fantasy and that he is addicted to porn. (I did know he watched a lot of porn)
Since then we had a few converstaions via text/email and maybe one or two via phone. At one point I told him if he wants to work on this to let me know, that I wouldn't call him, he could call me when he decided. Well, after a week of not being able to eat, I caved and contacted him. He was angry that I had called but he called back concerned because he knew I was driving down a curvy road??? And when I said fine, I won't talk, I won't call! He turns it around and says that he DOES want to talk, just not now. That last actual conversation, if you would call it that was last week. I have NOT made any contact in any way. He did promise to call.
I heard through the grapevine that he went to his doctor to get back on meds. I didn't even know he was ever on meds to begin with. So much I didn't know.
What can I expect to happen? I know he loves me, I know he feels horrible for what happen but I also know he is angry about what I did.
he has issues to work on and needs time to figure it all out...... u should not hang on a string waiting for him. if u do you will be cheating yourself of the awesome life u should be creating . go for ur dreams and the things in life you want to accomplish. date and have fun , dont try to latch on to every guy u date that makes you feel good... use your logic to decide if this person fits what u want for ur life not ur emotions. ur emotions will lie to you or cover up the truth.
Do yourself--and him--a big favour and stick to your first TRUE feelings---this man crosses boundries--big time! You will always need him more than he needs you so do not expect to keep your power in this relationship. Love is a VERB. What's in his heart and how he honors it are different things. Do not get stuck by that--he loves me! How do you FEEL? Do you feel loved? I do not advocate snooping BUT I believe in protection! He crossed YOUR boundries FIRST by cheating--yes, he does cheat--in a promiscuious way--no strings attached--as if such a thing is possible --- it does leave a mark. You are feeling it. Why is his anger justified but YOURS not? Please do not need this man so much you will deny your own needs and feelings. Thank the angel who guided you to look on his cell not because you were bad but because HE was betraying you. Has anyone mentioned he's bipolar? The signs are promiscuity when manic---money problems--binges--and continual legal issues as this illness is physical and out of their control---they must take their meds but most do not without a caretaker. Do not be a guilt gatherer---Taurus has a big heart and is a queen of nurturing but remember--the bull takes no BULL. Speak up more--ask more questions--demand more answers. Protect yourself! BLESSINGS!
Thanks for the replies!
yes, I felt loved with him. I don't doubt his feelings for me for a second and never will. He has some issues to work on and I hope he does. Not sure why the assumption of bi-polar disorder, he went for meds for depression and anxiety. He hasn't shown any signs of bi-polar and I can typically pick that out of a crowd. Don't ask me why?!?! He has no financial issues either. What he had an issue with in the past was drinking after his father passed away, leading to a DUI.
I spoke with a doctor about this possible addiction to x-rated material whether via the internet or movies and its a real issue for some. He claims that he is addicted. I don't know what to think of that.
blmoon, i have been thinking about you mentioning bipolar disorder. May I ask why you mentioned that?
We still haven't spoken, only a brief text exchange. He seems to like to tell me how crappy he is doing. But as time goes by that has less an effect on me. Of course he should feel crappy.... he screwed up a good thing.
i guess part of me hopes he gets help and one day, maybe? But in the meantime, i got together with two different men to spend time. I also reactivated an old profile on a dating site. i plan to date only for now. And focus on getting some personal things done in my life.
But yet the Gemini is lingering in my head and I do miss him terribly. But he won't succeed to bring me down. No sir.
I'm particuliarly sensitive to those effected by mental illness. Often the posts I feel the most drawn to are those whose lives are touched by someone with that illness. I am also a medium and have served to bring healing to loved ones who have lost family members to suicide--often never knowing that person was bipolar. Often the person is confused by their loved ones behaviour and can't make logical sense of it. That's the first clue when logic is missing. Mental illness often spills over and can have the partner feeling like THEY are confused or question their own guilt. Mental illness doesn't just stand out as out there crazy--it goes in cycles and every one is different in the range of symptoms--that confuses their loved ones as they can be normal one momemt or for days but then say or do things that really confuses. I've been with a bipolar mate for forty years---so I pick up vibes on both levels psychic and from expierience but when getting a spirit message I leave the mind out and go with the images and messages I get. I had a strong feeling about bipolar but at the same time spirit suggested I ask you as a question if you had heard that or felt that yourself as spirit didn't think you were going to be receptive. And you weren't. That's normal. I also picked up that he is not so receptive to that either or hasn't been diagnosed yet---it may have been suggested but he is not ready to accept that. ---biploars are often treated for years for depression and anxiety and may not go into full crises untill later. Bipolars may not go full blown untill after a major crisis--a trigger--like trauma--a death---something that shakes their world can suddenly bring the illness to the front. Another sign was I picked up SECRETS---that he was very secretive and prefered being a mystery. When a man is just by nature withdrawn it feels like a different energy on my end but bipolars are more demanding about their right to do as they please with no questions to the point they will react with anger and feel everyone else is wrong. They can be very manipulative and lie with an energy of truth because they actually believe their own lies! So even a level headed intuitive person can misread them as in their delusional thinking the energy is real. A normal person who is lying knows it and it's easy to picjk up. I believe you are very much intuitive--and that's the confision--you feel he is real yet things don't add up. THAT is the sign of mental illness. I didn't respond to your return post as formost it is your nature to be very loyal and protective --big heart--but you also have a strong head and spirit knew once the door was opened your eyes would start seeing things you missed or didn't question. The main message for you was the spirit watching over you was feeling very protective of you and wanted you to not feel guilty or to blame and to validate your right to have questions answered in way that make sense to you as your loyalty should never come into question by a man as if anything you are generouse to a fault. But once you truelly feel betrayed you move on----that's why the cheating thing will only fester--Taurus does not share in that department. Security is a must---if he was just a charming flirt it would pass but secret lives--no way. Looking at porn is one thing--normal and possibly addicting but your gut knows there is more to it with him. Another sign is bipolars often have a crisis just when things are TOO good. Intimacy is an issue and often just when they seem really close with their mates suddenly they panic and do something totaly opposite and THAT totaly confuses their mate--again-- it's the doesn't make logical sense thing. Bipolars do live good lives sometimes but rarely alone as someone will be the caretaker as they often skip meds or have a crises --go manic and in that state think not a thing is wrong and everyone else has a problem. They tend to have very self centered thinking--they feel only their own pain and can seem selfish about others problems. They don't get it and any suggestions or help when they are down get met with irritation and argument--they have tunnel vision and often get stuck in very limitted thinking. Medication is essential but never a cure. You must accept a bipolar as being more than one person---the true soul but also the other distorted aspects that some days you just tolerate. So, if you truelly love this man be realistic about the things that can't be changed. Untill he deals with his illness you will not be happy---it would go in spurts--a feww good days or weeks but then confusion and you will end up harboring anger and frustration during his low times as you get emotional but then you take action--you have this survival power--a I CAN DO THIS! He will drive you crazy with his lack of that kind of can do. You will see opptions and possability but he will only see a hostile world and hopelessness. In that kind of relationship you end up carrying the weight for two---and he will eat your energy and potential. Spirit suggests less about him and now is the time for you to manifest goals---all relationships are a mirror that helps us heal our own issues so ask yourself---what is he distracting you FROM. I pick up a tug of war between self sufficiancy and a need to be taken care of. This is about being true to your nature and not fearing failure as you are capable of being a leader and have many interests but can't decide. This is the year for focus on life work. Much of your path will be without a map which is scary but you need to KEEP MOVING"--spirit says you have been feeling that in your bones--that you must keep moving as you are in the foundation stage of finding your life purpose and it will jump around---this is not a time for isolation or distraction on any one thing but this year is busy---lots of networking--meeting people--trying new things. NO MISTAKES--spirits says--it's all good and you learn who you are by expieriencing who YOU ARE NOT---mistakes build up your power of self so this year expect to change your mind and course as needed. This is a major time of self discovery. May will bring opportunity you will be excited about and you will feel as if your world got bigger---end of June to July a bit of a crises as you meet someone who you can't figure as they seem good on the outside but you feel they undermind you---this will teach you something as you will almost let drama or self doubt steal your progress but then you will "get it" and turn the tables on that person. August will bring a bit of a lull--hohum and you will get impatient but really it's a rest time so don't try to make things happen as you are being guided towards the next leap--new relationships come in Sept and by next NOV again an air of excitement and newness and you will be very busy. You will form a deep lasting relationship around that time----this man will surprise you and at first you won't see him as your type but he will surprise you and bring out the best in you. You will be opposites but in a good way and he will admire your independence and inteligence.. Dispite the whirlwind this year could really be good for you. Keep moving--avoid regrets and needy people. BLESSINGS!
I am about speechless and have a million thoughts on what you told me. I admit to shedding a few tears too.
This man has had some intense things happen and it seems in each occurance, is when he would go off and drink to much leading to the DUI's. First was his divorce, then his father passing.
So much to digest. I do want to say though that I am very independent. I have been single for over 5 years, I built a career, raised a daughter (she is 20 now) on my own, (her father passed away but was never really around before that), bought a home by myself, travel alone frequently, ect. I really AM tired of doing it all. I know I can do it, but at some point, I want things to be about me.... I want an US. I want help.
My father passed away in September. Bless him, he left a mess. Me and the siblings will be cleaning up after this for some time yet. Right now, that is where my focus must be.
Yet the spirits say this year I must focus on life work. I admit to thinking about going back to school and have a clue what I want to do. I just don't know if I have it in me to continue to work with people. I am a massage therapist now. I love what I do, don't get me wrong. But sometimes it is so draining. Having my Gemini in my life helped SO much. He reminded me how good I make people feel.
And the mention of other men in the coming year must mean that me and Gemini are over.
I mentioned in another thread that he has agreed to come talk to me face to face tomorrow evening. He is known to change plans so it might not happen. Any insight?
Another whirlwind year ahead? I don't know, 2011 was pretty nuts. This has better be a good whirlwind because I can't take much more. lol
Bless you for taking the time out to communicate with me. Your words really hit deep in my heart.
Yes, for many of us last year was a doozey---lots of shifting--a year of housecleaning--on many levels. The busy you are guided towards is meant to be different--more satisfying--more about you. That housecleaning thing as you are empathetic--it's a had gift to manage as energy always wants to reach out--heal and touch. The crazy of last year is meant to be the MOTIVATOR to open to RECEIVE----you are now gathering wisdom from the "crone". Time for more harvest--focus and SELFPRESERVATION. The wisdom of the "crone" would help you best this next phase of your life. And actually education or a group or some kind of gathering would be a good choice. The key is 'fullfillment"----to discern what is giving back--decide to be only in a giving back situation that both--lets you use your gifts AND feed your spirit as otherwise your health will start showing it. You already have been feeling the drain in your life. So by busy Spirit means for it to be a different busy
and a lot of this PAST years disatisfaction and longings were meant to motivate you to make changes this year. The change will ask of you to be more open to surprises and a different perspective about "mistakes"--don't think of them as regrets as this year is about finding your bliss--gathering it more often--so life will present you with situations that may encourage you to act quikly--the croan says LIFE IS TOO SHORT--and you will be ready to say--no this is not for me and will change course--and maybe make many new plans---your mantra will be--a woman who doesn't change her mind doesn't have one. As for the man down the road I think it is someone new--there is always free will and your gemini could RISE to that energy but I feel despite the feel good times --on a full time level--that man can only drain you and slow down your journey. Sometimes further down the roads "shapeshifters" cross paths again. By shapeshifter I mean those unions that offer us life circumstance that helps us leap at a crossroads into our enlightenment. Something about the gemini inspired you to make the change--often it comes by a painful event--that is called GRACE. When a relationship seems to end painfully--you will heal better if you can embrace the GRACE of that union if you use it to be wiser and learn about yourself. If you can name exactly what you get from him--- what you most miss can lead to an old wound you forgot you had and it leads to healing. That's what this year is about----opening to RECEIVE not just give give give. Entitlement. The man who comes through for you--my my is all I keep hearing, a tisk tisk--shaking of the head--lot's of shame---a big child in a mans body. Big heart but tongue tied--says it all wrong--puts his foot in his mouth---people confuse him--he doesn't get it. This man is an odd bird--to himself--admits--he's from another planet. Hard to stay mad at him--something sad about him--childlike. Unpredictable. Never know what upsets him really---hard to read. He did not have an easy childhood----lots of loss---he could hold onto things--never got over loss. Held on tight to "things". Mostly this spirit loves BIG but it was trapped --held back by life he says. This spirit is very close to you---he keeps showing me a bucket of change--like it's a joke. He says he makes his presence known---leaves you quarters? I keep seeing coins. There is also an older female spirit around you---the name has a B sound Bernice? now I'm hearing Gert---German woman? She's showing me a war in the 40's---her husband or son passed in that war. She was very independent--she stands behind you and is the one who guides you to speak up. I definetly pick up a German woman. A dog named Sammy? I'm tired for the night so out of energy. BLESSINGS!
Don't cry dear. It is very difficult being with someone who has a mental illness - if that is indeed your situation.
For me, I found it hard to reconcile the goodness in him and the good times with the destructiveness of the illness. I do believe it is a calling - to love someone who is touched this way. But it helps if they are on meds. There's some part of the equation that has to be balanced out medically and one cannot cure the illness with love. Believe me, I tried and it doesn't work.
I thought it was my calling to love him, and for some time, I believed he was my soul mate. But he resisted meds. I loved him until it broke me. The last straw was when he confessed he'd cheated on me multiple times. I realised how easily he was able to lie to me - because on some level, he actually believed his lies to be the truth. Same as what Blmoon said. He had crossed the boundaries too far and too many times - and I'd let him. And I realised it would never get better. That my presence was enabling him - and I wasn't honoring myself. So I had to go.
You sound like a strong independent person, and I believe you can do whatever you set out to do. So I hope that you can get out there - and just do. And just keep going. If that means going to school, if you can and it will make you happy - why not? Sometimes, you don't know until you try (I could learn from this as well, LOL). My dad is a massage therapist as well, and he loves his work too but he also says it is draining.
I get what you mean about wanting an US - about being able and used to do things alone but feeling like you do not want to go it alone any more. It'd be nice to have a companion. I hope you meet the right person to make that happen.
Thank you all for the kind thoughts and advice.
Blmoon, I will write more at some point about what you said above. I think again, I am digesting it.
Danceur, thank you for your insight when dealing with bipolar disorder.
Well, me and Gemini got into a texting thing again. You see, I heard through the grapevine that he was trying to hook up with women at work. I confronted him. Of course he denied it. But then he got mad and wanted to know who was talking bad about him. Well, I promised never to mention her name and then he said if I didn't tell him, he wouldn't meet me this evening. I ended our text chat because I told him I had just gotten to the gym and he said f--- you. So I did what I had to do, after seeing that, I told him via text that I love him, I always will but I can't take no more of this emotional rollercoaster that I know I had a hand in creating. I told him good bye.
I feel like a big WHEW! But I also wonder if he replies, will I cave and talk to him. I hate that our last moments were of total chaos and anger which is why I wanted to meet him and pretty much close this out on a good note. At least with the attempt of , hey, lets be friends. But he is fighting that, and told someone that he can't face me because of what he did. Sigh.
So I guess things will have to end this way.
blmoon, I have a TON of coins that were given to me from my Dad and Grandpa. Last night I was rolling a ton of quarters.
Well--thanks for validating that! As a psychic it's so hard sometimes to be brave and just say what I'm seeing even though my brain wants to censure---useually it is the ODDBALL stuff though that spirit gives that validate most who they are and who is saying hello. Thanks for the validation--I was tired last night so wasn't 100 percent myself--but full moons are also my best connections. As for the gemini--there's no going back---despite the attachment you will demand too much from him now on--in a good way. It's all good. He wasn't a mistake--if you choose to grow from it. BLESSINGS!
Thank you again. You are amazing. I shared your words with a friend of mine who is very intuitive and she got shivers just reading your words.
Me and Gemini had some heated exchange, then emotional..... then heated..... good bye then good bye then good bye. It's exhausting. Modern technology sort of sucks because folks chicken out and use email or texting instead of looking into someone's face and saying good bye.
I told him he can come by this evening and we can say what needs to be said and move on. I also told him if he doesn't come over, that it will still mean good bye basically. I promised myself AND my friend (LOL someone to make sure I stick to my guns) that when I wake tomorrow, it is no more contact and I will continue to do the exercises to cut the cords that attach me and him. And I have a list of phrases to repeat to myself if I falter.
This isn't good for me nor him. I think he would feel better if he came and let me say my peace. However, he probably thinks I am going to yell at him. No matter..... when the sun comes up, it REALLY will be a NEW day!
Sorry to bring up an old post but I am hoping to reach out to blmoon about a man I am seeing and I just reread this post and the predicted time line.......
Blmoon, if you remember me from last year, could you possibly do a reading. I am afraid I might have attracted another bipolar into my life!