Hey Captain..



  • Well Captain, you did a reading for me last year, and all I can say is that no matter how positive I have been trying to stay, let me sum up how great 2011 has been for my family and I.

    I had full custody of my 2.5 year old daughter back in June for a month until my neighbor's bull mastiff mauled my daughter back on July 24, 2011where she spent 5 days in the hospital. I lost sole legal/physical custody over an accident and me not calling my daugther's mother which made the Judge really angry and then a week later with my attorney's work as well as hospital records, the new current court order has been week on and week off with 50/50 legal and physical custody with exception that I am in charge of all medical decisions. Which my daughter's mother has still continues to be difficult, not following the medical portion of the court order, threatening and continuing making the entire Co-Parenting Relationship a high conflict as ever. I am not too worried about this at all because patience and positivity is all I see at the end of this portion of my life.

    Everything seemed to be going rather well until 10-23-2011 when I took my dad to the doctors because he had the flu the entire week before and then he started feeling better around 10-19-2011 and then 10-21-2011 he started feeling sick again except that anytime he breathed in deep, his chest right below his neck started hurting. He stayed in bed from 10-21-2011 until 10-23-2011 when he had asked me to take him to the doctor because he wanted to get checked out and see if he actually had pnuemonia. Upon arriving at the Doctor's office, he went in and I waited for an hour until the nurse called me back. My dad had told me by their ekg readings and some bloodwork they thought he had a heart attack and they were waiting for an ambulance to come pick him up and transport him to the hospital. Which to make a long story short, I went to my dad's house and pick up my mom to go to the hospital. When we arrived at the hospital, they had already called the on-call Cardiologist because they were certain that he had a heart attack and they wanted to see what he would say. Once the Cardiologist came to the hospital, he checked my dad out, and ordered for him to have an Angiogram done, no ultrasound of the heart was done, and around 1.25 hours into the procedure a code blue had been set off and a lot of people ran into the Cath Lab where they were doing the Angiogram on my dad. Which I knew that he was not going to make it, but after an hour of the Code Blue the Doctor had walked out and told my mom ' I am sorry, We all Make Mistakes, I am sorry '. Which a nurse came out and stated that he had passed away. My family is completely devastated and our world has been turned upside down over this. I am trying to keep a promise that he had asked me 6 months or so ago, he had mentioned if anything were to happen to him, he wanted me to look after my mom and be there for her. Now as a around a month ago, since his house was part of his job, the owner of the house gave my mom a 90 day notice which sucks now because I am trying to help find a place to live for my mom, sister and I am going to stay to help out as I know we all should be there for each other during this time. I have to ask is there anymore bad luck on the horizon for my family and myself??

    Thank you,

    Charlie



  • I am sorry that you see this all as bad luck, Charlie - it is really all just life experience. We lose people, we meet people, we lose things, we acquire things. It's the natural cycle of life, not some curse on you or miserable bad luck. it was your father's time to go and also your daughter's time to be with her mother. The loss of the house means it's time for your mother to move onto a new experience. Instead of getting lost in depression or self-pity, try and make the best of whatever circumstances you find yourself in. Find the positive aspects to what has happened. You can either feel sorry for yourself that your father passed or be glad that he is no longer in pain or suffering. His spirit lives on, free and full of light. You could feel him around you if your grief and anger wasn't clouding your senses.

    You say you try to be positive - yet when you are tested, you collapse into despair and anger and frustration. Charlie, you may think I am being harsh, but you need to toughen up. Life is not all rosy and carefree. Stuff happens but it's how you handle the down times that will impact on your future. Right now, you are braced for another blow of 'bad luck' as you call it, just about expecting it. Your thoughts will create your reality. You feel hit by a car. How about instead thinking of your life journey as you having encountered a few bumps in the road but nothing that cannot be overcome? Your life is what you make it. You cannot let a few apparent 'setbacks' destroy your whole love of living. You can still see your daughter - don't ruin her times with you by feeling bitter. Life will always present problems but what do you think is better - to get mad, curse at bitter fate and fall down in a useless heap, or draw on your inner strength and yes, your sense of humour to help you over the rough spots and move on to bigger and better things to come?

    Trust that your mother will find a better place to live. Trust that your dad is happier now. Trust that your daughter will be fine. Trust that life is going to turn out OK and guess what - it really will. Nothing stays the same forever and bad times turn into good times. You just have to keep moving - don't lie down and dwell on what has been - look forward to a brighter future and MAKE it happen by your postive thoughts - and actions too - because you have to make the changes that are needed to move forward. Don't get stuck in the past. Accept what has happened as a part of life, not some lightning bolt sent down from heaven just to strike you and your family - and begin creating the life you want. It's your choice - lie down and cry yourself to sleep or set a determination and courage to succeed. The most successful people are not those who have never failed, they have actually fallen and failed more times than other people but they keep on getting up and trying until they do get what they want.

    Don't get bogged down now - the good times are so very close. Everyone is being shaken out of their old routines at the moment. You cannot get stuck in a rut of living, because the Universe will come along and shake you out of it. Keep on moving and learning, keep on growing and evolving, keep on adapting and thinking smart, and keep on being positive. The alternative just doesn't bear thinking about.

    You will get there in the end if you refuse to give up - determine to be stronger than the situations and people that try to pull you down. Fight tooth and nail to be happy, Charlie. Don't you dare give up!



  • Charlie, I feel your problem is that you get too emotional over things. You need to step back and gain some emotional distance and objective clarity before throwing yourself off the deep end in both life and love. Think before you act. Develop your intuition to help you make good decisions. Don't make moves based on just emotion. I think you tend to be more of an idealist than a realist which is fine for creating ideas and goals, but not good for carrying them out. Get practical.



  • You haven't mentioned them but I am sure there were a lot of good things that happened to you this year. Yet we humans tend to focus more on the few negative things for some odd reason. It's an old adage but still good advice - try to count your blessings and appreciate what you HAVE been given rather than what you have lost or what you didn't get. That is true positive thinking. You say you TRY to be positive yet trying is not actually doing. I don't feel you yet have the faith and trust that you can succeed in life, Charlie, and it is this lack of self-belief that is holding you back.



  • "Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them."


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