Help me understand my libra GF
I can't understand my libra GF, i met my libra GF 4 months ago and i guess,by my part it was love at first sight. She was sceptical about it first so i took my time to win her heart (I am cancer).From the begining she was sceptical about 4 factors that where negetive in our relationship, distance(she lives 100 Kilometers away)money(she is unemployed and i have a medium wage) differend characters,and my positive aproach in all this subjects and other subjects. We talked about it for this whole months but nothing much,she would just pass a few words,i would try to comfort it and she didn't continue the subject. For the past month i have noticed a change in her. All though before she would phone me constantly and shut her computer to talk to me and begged for kisses,she became distant, most of the times she would be chatting on her pc not giving me attention. So i went to see her,she tried to cuddle me but i withdraw, then when we met in the car i told her what was bothering me, and she said that her logic tells her to brake up with me but her feelings doesn't. So i said to her look if you just tell me that it is something you must do but can't i will ask you to,cause i feel i cause more pain then good in your life, then she kissed me and said, everytime i kiss you all this problems go away, but when i am not with you i want to brake up with you. And i said to her then i don't want to meet with you face to face so i don't cause you this conflict. And i left, Few days has passed and the more she was chosing with her attitute the brake up option, so i called her up,and continuesly asked her to tell me what to do. She was saying the same things that where bothering her all this months and as times goes by they became more obvious, i asked her if she believes we should end it, but she didn't answered and i aksed her reapidently untill she said yes,but she did try to change this answer by reffering to several things and several words like maybe its because i am very conserned by not having a job and i have troubles at home,and if they where not present i would of been more calm,and i said to her,would it change your decision?She said no,and i said then why are you reffering to all this,she tried to explain but she made no sense,when i asked her what is she is trying to say she said i don't know,i comfused my self as well. So i closed the phone and rang her an hour later and i said,lets talk tell me all those things that you say you can't cope with,she refused to say them, and i said listen, i ask you several times if this is this you said no is this that?you said no,for the name of God i am in this relationship with you and its only those things i am aware of,she said you started to make me angry so i shouted at her tell me cause i have the right to know. So she said we have differend characters, i am social you are anti-social,and i said to her what??I begged you to go out,i begged you to meet my friends and you never asked me to meet your friends,i never said no to you each time you told me to go out with you. She said we have differend tastes and differend opinions and you are obsolete, and i said i am obsolete?You never disccussed this things in this depth before and you said you told me over and over?No you where talking this things with yourself cause i had no idea. And just because i have differend tastes and likes it doesn't mean i won't cope,and i had cope with alot of thigs and i gave her examples to prove her that they where true, and she said well you are pretending, and i said i am not ,and also gave her examples. And she bypassed them and said,well i know at the end i will get bored of this relationship,and i said thats it. You accused me of never listened to you,in things you never said,you accused me of pretending when i don't, and because i don't like being accused for nothing, all the mood i had to stay with you now is gone,if you would like to call me again or come and see me come,but i am done trying...
I don't understand her,and i don't understand her behavour and her conflicts, when i went to see her the last time she said she doesn't come to see me cause she doesn't want to make her feelings get in the way of her logic,when i told her i want to brake up she said she doesn't come cause of the money,and also at the begining,she would cry each time she left and now she is distant,any help please?
Welcome to the world of the Libran person - indecisiveness is their biggest weakness. Your friend is right that you and she are different socially - you prefer to stay-at-home while she is a social butterfly. If you got together, there would be many nights where you were left waiting at home for your more sociable party girl to come home. But it's possible you could reach a compromise of you going out with her more and she staying at home more often - if she really made up her mind she wanted to do it. But there's the rub - she has so much trouble making a firm decision. She will waver back and forth for ages on whether to be with you, not even knowing herself what she wants.
But one thing is for sure - you will drive her away with these heavy emotional scenes and your moodiness because Librans hate anything that is too intense, and not light and unserious enough. You have to pull back and give her the time and space to make up her mind, even if she eventually chooses not to be with you.
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I feel for you and your pain.... Libra woman and Cancer man is a veryyyyyyy difficult relationship and even though you may deeply love each other it takes 100 % input and communication from both sides to make this work..... I should KNow!!! I am a Libra woman whose first love was her ex husband..... ok maybe 2nd love,,, was her ex husband,,,,, and boy oh boy we did have alottttttttt of trouble. we met at UNI as students so it qucikly blossomed into something ,,, but like your Libra lady there is a great attraction in the beginning cause you are her opposite ,,,, crawling in the little crab shell away from the world of woes and worries ,,, where I as the Libra was attracted to my ex cause I wanted to show him the world and all the wonderful things in in but his constant need to be alone , his moodiness, his different points of views, his nerdiness ,,,, sulleness,,,, etc drove a wedge between us....so as a marriage it quickly ended even though we were together for about 12 years in total.... so i did try , and try and then some...... but the love is not enough,,,,,,, I regret we couldnt work it out,,,,, because there is something poignant about the crab that the Libra likes and is attracted to even though like your gf, feels in her mind it is not going to work..... I felt like this many times with my ex and wanted to break up all the time,,,, so the Libran indecisveness will drive you crazy like it did my ex he couldnt understand why I couldnt just stay put, he became jealous of my gfs who he said got more time and understanding from me,,,,he felt left out, but he didn tlike to go out ,,,,,,
The Libran distancing is true .WHen I wanted to be left alone it was because I just couldnt handle how I was being treated and we couldnt seem to iron out the recurring issues.... so then I wanted no calls and not meet up with him.. so i migrated to another country hoping to end things nicely.... however he came over to get me in 4 months and we got engaged........ sooo...... even though we loved each other it still didnt work and shortly ended after we got married..........
So the libra girl is always thinking and oscillating with the right decision and weighing all the facts,,,,,, that is what i did. She is not constant andyour Libra GF sounds close to what i did with my Cancer ex. The attraction is very great as he remains my greatest love,,,, however reading your post,,, I must have driven him insane tooo
I dont know what to tell you.... at least 12 years was enough for me to see that it cant work, or we didnt want it to..... hang in there YOU've now started with a Libra woman
and good luck
Ps. try emailing her how you feel. my ex used to do that
Try being more romantic and not criticising.
Try making more time for her. Let her come to you for the romance dont cuddle if she doesnt want to.
Do something special and out of the ordinary for her.... even make her cup of tea or something if that is what she likes
and pss listen to what she is saying and d ont crawl in your shell and hide
and one more thing... Librans hateeeeee conflict of any kind....... so any hint of conflict I would flee and hide,,,,, and stay away more.
Mr. Cancer, I completely agree with the Captain and Carib.....We are seriously indecisive and if it drives you nuts now can you imaging how you will feelng having to deal with this all the time???? I think you should totally and completely be yourself, be who you are....Dont change anything about you. If you both compliment each other and mesh, great. However, if you dont mesh being who you truly are then this may be a red flag that she is not "the one" for you. The other issue - MONEY. She mentioned that the money situation concerns her. Unless you could completely change your economic situation turbo speed dont you want someone that accepts you AS YOU ARE? If money is an issue this may be an indication that this person wont stand by you in good and bad times. Just thinking. I admire that you felt love at first sight with this butterfly BUT there are other factors that could be warning you to open your eyes and look a little closer. You want someone that will be with you through the long haul, good, bad, good...This is life, its not always perfect. You get frustrated with this situation. This could be a sign of a very turbulent relationship in the future. is this what you want? I do wish you both the best and hope that things become clearer to you and for you. Sometimes these things happen in the beginning to prepare us for what lies ahead. The foundation has to be solid and not indecisive. If you want someone that is sure of themselves, you, and walking forward in to the future WITH YOU it may not be this lovely libra butterly....You will find her. DO NOT LOSE HOPE...The intent creates the reality. The universe will bring you the right fit...Hang in there and good luck. Listen to the Captain...