Please help - is he a con man?



  • Me: Nov. 3, 1969

    Him: May 5, 1974

    Would anybody please be able to help me with this - I'm desperate to know this persons true intentions. I have a "friend" that I have helped financially the past year; I signed a car loan for him and co-signed a credit card to help him reestablish his credit. He had been paying all the payments, however we have been arguing a lot the past few months and now he is refusing to answer my calls/texts. He has not made the last car payment, which was due 2 weeks ago and I'm worried that he won't be paying any longer. I don't know what to do - I don't know if he's just doing this to me out of spite or if it was his intention to use me all along?

    Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.



  • Gosh, I'm really sorry. This is a hard lesson to learn. I'll do a reading and try to have it up later today.



  • Thank you very much.. I really appreciate it



  • I think I can answer your questions better w/o a reading. Don't ever co-sign anything unless you can financially handle the responsibility of the debt on your own. He might have fallen on hard times--don't know. The fact of the matter is you don't know either. It's probably his responsibility to let you or the lender know something. My guess is he hasn't done either. I guess what the next question is--will he keep driving it and expect you to make payments. Very likely. Was he only due 1 more payment or is it more payments. I would contact his insurance co and see if he's paying that. You might be able to alert the lender, or someone, about re-possession. I would add the car on your insurance if he isn't paying his. If he isn't paying ins. and gets in wreck, you're liable. I would work w/the credit card people about getting his name off the card. Then close it. I don't know what kind of relationship you were in--that would help. How many more payments he has on car. You may have to cough up one last one. You can also contact a credit counselor about problems. I've heard of Cambridge Credit and see what they suggest. They could probably suggest alternatives that wouldn't ruin your credit.



  • Thanks for the response... I know I was stupid to sign the car and card for him, but I was aware of the ramifications and trusted him. My credit is very good and I can handle this should he decide not to make the payments, but I was worried that he was just using me all along. We initially met and dated breifly, but then he just wanted to be friends for now until he got back on his feet.

    He did finally contact me yesterday to let me know he's working on a solution and will be selling the car and will make the next payment. He has been paying all along and always told me that he appreciated me helping him out and would never "stick" me with the car or damage my credit. He has been paying the insurance also, since it's under a joint policy with both our names and he gives me his share every month and has always paid on the credit card also. It's just a small department store card with a balance of a few hundred dollars.

    I was worried because he wouldn't answer my calls and wouldn't let me know what was going on. I need to know what he's going to do so I can make the car payment before it's 30 days late and goes on my credit report. I guess I always doubted what his true intentions were - if I was just someone he was using to help him out or if he ever really cared at all? He is supposed to let me know by this afternoon his plans for the car. I have no choice but to wait and see if he makes good on his promise.

    Thank you again.



  • If the "friend" backs out of any contract, you will be liable for all financial restitution. You signed a contract which is binding by law.



  • Yes, I know....I'm a lawyer and well aware of the legal ramifications and my responsibilities and rights... I was more interested in finding out what his intentions are/were and if he is sincere or just a user... thank you.



  • I appreciate the replies, but I wasn't looking for legal or financial advice... I know how to handle this in that respect... I was looking more for his intentions... I have a hard time reading this person because I'm too close to the situation and can't look at it objectively...thanks again.



  • Well, regardless, someone will have to pay the payment until he sells the car. Then it'll be a new set of worries about when he sells it etc. I would remove your name from the credit card. I guess my fear would be the credit limit on the card and if he's making regular payments (really, if he's able to continue to make regular payments.) I know this is someone you care about. It's a way to help but actually it's a set of worries. You could bury the hatchet (said you were fighting) offer to make the last payment (I'm guessing it's the very last payment!) then work a deal that he can re-pay you the last payment. Say, $50 a month. You've helped him this much. And probably needs a car. If he's been paying on the credit card for a year that's enough to establish something--so take your name off and let the last car payment be the last "string" that binds the two of you. You are actually a great friend to him. I don't know what his situation is but try to get out of this peaceably. I can do a general reading for you (not specifically him) because he'll probably show up anyway. A general reading can be a good indicator of situation. I just wanted to make sure all bases were covered with this financial thing.



  • Didn't read last post until I had posted. Ok, so I'll do a reading later will try to have up by this weekend.



  • Ok, I'll begin w/what reading is focused on then I'll get to the guy. Above this reading is the Hierophant. Hierophant deals with shared group identity, established social structures & traditions/values. All things righteous and sacred. Don't know if you have strayed or need to focus more. Maybe you want this man to conform more to your beliefs.

    Almost get the feeling you have left something behind in past. Did you get out of another relationship prior. The cards point to moving away from something in the present, however. Do you travel? I feel this is something that you must move away from. Passage will take you to new part of your life. I get this starting-over and new awakening. Hierophant/Chariot pairing submitting to a higher good.

    The foundation of this reading is you conquering struggles/guarding against more. This struggle that your having w/guy is one of your own choosing. Also, 9 of rods paired with Empress is you trying to make a masterpiece out of him. Muse, so to speak.

    I get the feeling that this guy makes you feel younger. There is a young feeling w/this reading. You will discover a clearer path in re to all of this. Your shown as a positive person/abundance. In past, shows you as going from one phase to the next. Drew the Hermit in your past. This could also relate to your studies/education or the fact that your moving more outside of yourself. Hermit/Sun/Chariot pairing--higher social standing. I'm getting that your challenge is to be tactful. Your assets can actually be your challenge. I'm getting that this guy is not where you are financially,etc. You need development from inside because on outside your fine. 9 of coins/Hermit--you can be in your own world. Pursuits can be self-centered paired w/Sun. Seeking more insight into personal development. Are you feeling like getting older and when will right one appear. Your blocks can be your material success. I'm getting is there more feeling.

    Your friend is young at heart/inexperienced. Can be immature. In your struggle with him be tactful and set goals. He wants to do good. I think he also views this as a new beginning. He may feel stifled. At some point you found him to be honest, as I feel he wants to be honest or his aim is to be honest. I feel he has something to learn from you and at one point sought your advice. He knows his integrity is on the line and likes your line of work. He needs to keep his feet on the ground. Down side is that he might be all ideas. Needs new skill set to get to goals. Does have commitment/dedication. Admires you for what you have accomplished. It's kinda late in the game for him. Needs your advice. It's like your the master and he's the novice. Have to use self-control when dealing with him because you are the one in control. You can master this. Do you have young friends/assoc. I see him as someone you have to keep grounded. He may need to change more than he's willing to admit to get to where he needs to be. Right now, financial help is what he needs and seems to be focused on that. I see him as more of an understudy than anything else. I think your friends are able to steer you in right direction re him. Don't necessarily see him as bad person--just starting over.

    Cards--

    present--6 of swords

    above--hierophant

    below--9 of rods

    situation--sun

    past--hermit

    challenges--9 of coins

    moving ahead--empress

    blocks--3 or rods

    friends--page of swords

    advice--page of coins

    outcome--chariot

    Your friend is shown as the page of coins and you as the empress



  • Thank you very much for the reading, most of what you said does seem accurate. I have moved around a lot lately (4 states in the past 2 years); I just moved back home a year ago. My friend wants to move out of state and is considering a job offer he just received and will be making a decision in a few weeks, so it looks like he will be moving away just as I got back home.

    I now believe he is trying to do the right thing and we're trying to resolve the car issue between us; we've been talking the past few days and working on a solution, so I no longer believe he was just trying to take advantage of me financially. You were right in saying my struggle with him was one of my own choosing; I had a hard time trusting him because he doesn't communicate with me when he's angry and ignores my calls, so I always assume the worst.

    I think we're both sort of starting over - me with moving back home and him moving away. He says he's going to try it for awhile and if it doesn't work out, he'll move back home. I guess our timing just isn't right at this point in our lives. We both do look younger than we are and live a younger lifestyle..lol..if that makes sense. He admits that he's not ready to grow up yet, but that he's 95% of the way there.

    I do really care for him and think we are well-suited for each other and could be really happy together, but I know he's not in that place yet. It's too bad because I have never thought this about any man before in my life, not in any past relationships. Maybe someday it will be different, but I'm not going to wait around for him and will keep my options open because it might never happen with him 😞

    Thank you again for the reading; it has relieved me and I feel much better.



  • Glad I could help. There's a lot of young energy around you and him. Reading points to young assoc as well. The main purpose we were put on this Earth for, I believe, is to make each other's path easier. I believe you have done this for him. I'm sure he'll come to realize this.


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