Astra Angel, your thoughts?



  • Hey Pivoine

    Something to keep in mind about artist types like your friend is that the melancholy parts of life do carry an exquisite kind of darker energy... artists tap into it and poets... you look at a Rembrandt and you feel the dark shadows threatening, however there is always light, however slight.

    So for some of us, the pain of life is actually a gift, paradoxically. Because in pain you first learn to fell authentically. For how can one know what love is, what peace and tenderness is, unless you have tasted the opposites.

    Most people don;t like to think of such things... we want to be medicated and placated out of any discomfort - at all costs! However creative and any deeply searching - seeking person will not be afraid of whatever is in that castle high in the storm.. we must all sooner or later face our demons and realize we created them, so that we might learn. ANd the painter paints with his heart feeling broken, and the poet writes from love that never was, and we think "oh, this is so painful... that pain is in us all though... and must be embraced and accepted before we can ascend... at least for some.

    I have this one tarot deck that looks like a deck that Frankenstein would have created... very gothic dark and disturbing images... I don't get it out often, however it serves a useful purpose and that is to expose our dark side... that part in all of us we don't want to think about.

    It is not the sort of place you want to stay in forever, however it is a needed stop along the way. There are always more peonies awaiting around the bend, and anything can happen... including a visit from your friend very soon.



  • Astra,

    I meant for you to paint the peonies. I think they could make a very beautiful painting and I would love to see it.

    Yes, I understand that he might need that pain and to hold on to his demons, but does he need my pain too? He could simply be honest with me. Once more I dreamed about him last night, nothing I can clearly remember, just that he was unkind as he usually is in my dreams. It is most disturbing and it happens quite often. There was a series of events in the dream, somehow related but separate. The last one was that I met a man in the street whom I hardly knew and he was very kind, we were walking and talking and then he gave me a hug. His embrace was gentle and strong, full of love, tenderness, compassion and protection. I felt safe in that love, secure, a sweet confidence that nothing could ever hurt me again. That man does not exist, he looked like an actor whose name I cannot remember and now I can’t even remember his face. What does this dream mean? What do the dreams about my friend being unkind mean? Any insight there? Another strange thing that came out of nowhere in a dream last night was a date. There was nothing else, just a date: the 11th of July. Any ideas what this can possibly mean?

    Thank you for trying to cheer me up. I feel pretty low today.

    Here is a beautiful bouquet for you... Have a lovely day!

    Love

    Pivoine



  • Astra,

    Today is the day of the Immaculate Conception and since you also like The Virgin Mary I would like to share with you the most beautiful painting of Her I have ever seen. The artist is Murillo, a 17th century Spanish Painter. He is a favourite of mine. This is just a detail because if I reduced the whole photo to fit here, you wouldn't see anything.

    Love, Pivoine



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  • Astra,

    I see that you are in great demand, so whenever you can... I would like to have your insight on my dream. Also, I have not had any sign from my friend and try as I may, I cannot get him out of my mind. I try to have only good and loving thoughts about him, but there are all those other ones which keep trying to sneak in, the ones that imagine the worst. I don't know what to think about his silence and his whole attitude.

    Today again I had to go out and take the same route we have taken together in joy and love. It seems to become more difficult every time, so today to occupy my mind I sang my favourite hymn the whole way and it helped, but I miss him so much.

    Father, we Thy loving children

    Lift our hearts in joy today,

    Knowing well that Thou wilt keep us

    Ever in Thy blessed way.

    ....

    Hope you like my pics.

    Love

    Pivoine



  • Hi Pivoine,

    Let's look at your dream it sounds interesting...

    "Once more I dreamed about him last night, nothing I can clearly remember, just that he was unkind as he usually is in my dreams. It is most disturbing and it happens quite often. "

    So, we now have some clues, this is obviously about him, and his unkindness seems to be expected. And this is something that is quite often...

    "There was a series of events in the dream, somehow related but separate. The last one was that I met a man in the street whom I hardly knew and he was very kind, we were walking and talking and then he gave me a hug. His embrace was gentle and strong, full of love, tenderness, compassion and protection. I felt safe in that love, secure, a sweet confidence that nothing could ever hurt me again."

    Now the narrative... you are meeting a new man. So this man is your ideal of love, like an angel. Perfect and sweet in a most wonderful and caring way. A stark contrast to this man who frequently disturbs you in your life and dreams.

    "That man does not exist, he looked like an actor whose name I cannot remember and now I can’t even remember his face."

    Now we see another interesting clue that is very telling. And that is you don't care "who" this love is, or what his appearance is, as long as the love is real and genuine. That is what your dream is trying to tell you.

    What does this dream mean? It is a development in your understanding of love, and your place in the universe in that sense. In that all of life is designed to bring you to love, however it must be open and trusting to get there.

    What do the dreams about my friend being unkind mean? Any insight there?

    That seems a sign that maybe he is not a good influence on you any more and maybe the Universe is preparing someone new for you. It sounds like he is immersed in his own world anyway and not available until her works through his own stuff...

    "Another strange thing that came out of nowhere in a dream last night was a date. There was nothing else, just a date: the 11th of July. Any ideas what this can possibly mean?"

    A date with someone new seems like one answer. Would you be open to that? It would not hurt to see others while you wait for your friend to come to his senses haha. Do you have anyone else at all that you have something with? Guy friends? Girl friends?

    I am trying not to over-spiritualize this, it sounds like

    1. You are fed up with your friend from your past. You have expressed love and it has gone nowhere. Time for something new perhaps.

    2. You are open to meeting someone new and you don't care who it is (what the packaging is) as long as there is true connection and oneness and true caring love. WIthout issues.

    3. And you want to start dating again, and enjoying life with close friends of either s e x.

    How does that sound? I am forgetting everything we have talked about regarding your ex guy who is off in limbo right now... and trying to look at the dream by itself...

    And your art work is beautiful... and the hymm is pretty... God is looking out for us I know and this is all heaven's art work anyway, we are each a little color on that palette...

    love and light

    astra



  • Dear Astra,

    How are you? Have you been painting? Have you decided if you will paint the peonies? I am afraid beauty has not managed to make much of a difference today, anxiety was intense and I feel so hopeless.

    Thank you so much for your response and for your time. Your interpretation of my dream sounds logical, but it doesn’t fit. You might be right that this man represents my ideal of love, but I cannot imagine that it can be someone new. In all those years since my friend left, l have never been able to completely love anyone and when we met again it just seemed so natural. He was the first to say that it was so incredibly natural and he had a wonderful feeling of belonging which he had not had in all those years. I cannot imagine such closeness, such tenderness with anyone else. I am very unhappy about his attitude. I have expressed love and so has he, only he is so enigmatic that I have no idea what he wants. I desperately need to come to some conclusion with him.

    I cannot imagine meeting someone new and at my age if I did, he would not be without issues. I wouldn’t want to complicate my life further with a new relationship. But there is very little chance of that happening because where it is easy for a man of a certain age to attract women it is not the same for a woman. Older men, if they are financially independent, look for younger women.

    While it would not hurt to see others, there is really no opportunity, all my friends are in stable marriages. I am still legally married but he is involved with someone else and in any case, I would not find that ideal of love there. I am aware that it would do me good to see people and do things, without thinking of dating, but my financial situation does not allow me the freedom to frequent places where I would be likely to meet someone interesting.

    Some time ago you had as a significant date the 12th of February and now we have the 11th of July… I wonder what it is all about. That date was totally separate from any other part of the dream, it had no connection to anything else. Maybe I will win the lottery and then if I am not happy in love, there will be other compensations… and you could go on the trip of your dreams with your beloved on me ! I would like that.

    It might be the full moon, but the anxiety has been pretty bad today. I cannot bare this silence, no matter how much it hurts, I wish he would have the courage to tell me. I have open all doors for him by telling him that he can tell me anything no matter how bad and I would not resent him even if it hurts because it would not be him hurting me, only what he has to tell me. But the only response - not as a direct answer - has been that he loves me, he is very unhappy but it is due to the depression, and enigmatic poems. Part of him wants to dream and part of him is terrified. Many times he said he would answer me truthfully, explain, but he never has.

    Would you do a reading for him and see if we can shed some light on what is happening? His dob is 29.10.55.

    Should I give up all hope? Even if I want to, I don't know if I can until he tells me that it is over. How can he be so cruel? He must know I am hurting. Does he want to hurt me?

    Thank you kindly Astra. You do so much for so many that our love and gratitude cannot fail to manifest in something more tangible for you very soon.

    Love,

    Pivoine



  • Dear Astra,

    I feel totally lost and my stomach is in a permanent knot. I miss him terribly and I don't know what to do. I haven't heard from him for three weeks, it was never that long before. I don't dare writing to him because I am afraid he will not answer and I will feel even worse, at the same time, I think that since he is very busy with his professional life right now maybe he doesn't realize how long it has been and a sweet note from me might be welcome... I am terribly unhappy and I feel so helpless. You know how it feels and I pray there will soon be a change for us.

    I know you are busy so, whenever you can, I would be grateful for any help or advice.

    Love

    Pivoine



  • Oh, Astra...! He answered ! I couldn't stand the silence anymore and I sent him a short note asking how he was and he answered the next minute saying he had not written because he was waiting until he could do it without 'whining' and that he would write more from another place, (this was his work email). This might not mean real communication, but he answered and that means he cares enough to reassure me immediately. You said to follow my heart and after tremendous hesitation that is what I did and I am so glad. I am so grateful, I had to share this with you!!!

    May you soon have good news to share as well. You are ever in my prayers.

    I would still like to have that reading from you when you can. I know you have other things to do and I hope you are well and enjoying what you are doing. God loves us Astra and He wants us to be happy.

    Love

    Pivoine



  • Hi Astra,

    How are you? You have not been around much lately, I hope you are just busy and all is well.

    Whenever you have the time...

    Many thanks and blessings

    Pivoine



  • bump 🙂



  • Hi Astra,

    How are you? I am enjoying a lovely fire and Christmas music and thought about sending you peace and joy.

    Pivoine



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