I betrayed his trust will he ever forgive me?? PLEASE PLEASE HELP



  • I fell in love with a friend who didnt see me the same way. When I told him i loved him he said that we should not communicate until I fell out of love with him

    I know unreservedly that what i did was wrong. I have no excuse for what i did. I went on the dating site where I had first met him and pretended to be someone else. I contacted him and we starterd communicating via email. We didnt flirt, we just shared stuff about each others thoughts and life experiences

    I backed out when he asked to meet. About a year later when I got back on the dating site myself he contacted me. He told me that he had had a dream about me and wondered if we could get back in touch. I told him I still loved him and didnt think that it was such a good idea

    We fell into a relationship but it was not one of love. He treated me with thinly disguised contempt. He shared my living space and we were intimate twice and something in me felt i had deserved it because of what I had done. I didnt have the courage to tell him the truth

    This is a man who has many issues in his life and I have added to it. He recently came back into my life and the mental cruelty has escalated. Today he sent me an sms saying that he knew that I was that other girl. I repliied that "could we talk" and was he up to it but as yet no reply

    I understand why he took revenge, I dont blame him. I'm not a bad person . Will he ever forgive me? Should I let this go? In his mind has he "got even" with me now?

    Where to from here?



  • You need have no fear. He is not worthy of you. Do not feel you need to do more. Let him go. He shall reap what he has sown...in his own time.



  • Hi Firefly

    And thank you for responding. I do believe, as you suggest that "what goes around comes around" My fear is this. Some people have baggage, this man has a baggage terminal. I am sorry to have added to it. I want to know if he hates me and if he will someday understand that I meant no harm. I was lonely and i missed him and I just wanted to connect with him in some way.

    if you can answer me please Firefly what is it that makes him hate me so much? Is this the only thing he feels for me?

    What do i do if he contacts me again?

    Thanks so much once again for your advice



  • Some people have a very different concept of what "forgiveness" entails. With some, once betrayed, always betrayed. They cannot see beyond the end of their noses. Only time will tell what sort of man he is. This is HIS problem, not yours.



  • Also, one very important factor to remember: You should always feel emotionally secure with any one in any type of relationship. So far, his conduct has been atrocious.



  • Firefly thank you for not making me feel like a bad person even though I was not without fault here. I sent him an email last night trying to explain why I did without offering justification for it. He hasnt responded but I didnt write it in expectation of any kind of response

    I told him the truth that my aim was never to mock him and it was a very misguided attempt to be somehow close to him again

    I told him that I know that at his core he is not a bad person he just came to be that way around me. I see that his conduct has been as you say, atrocious but I said to him that i trust that according to his ledger I have paid for my transgression in full and with compound interest

    I let it go now, I have asked his forgiveness and I hope that he someday finds peace and love


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