Happy Thanksgiving Blmoon
I want to wish you a very peaceful and happy Thanksgiving today.
You are one of the many things I am thankful for this year.
It has been hard, but I am so grateful to have my family, my home, my job, and friends like you to help me through lifes journey.
Have a great day.
I so wish for peace--I think we all do! I think I am so fond of you because we share a comman thorn on the Rose--our Joy in family--in giving and the tough time we both have with letting go of the hurt when we can't fix it. I am counting my blessings as well and letting go of the idea of that perfect family all together idea and just roll with it. Although you did not suffer a death in your family you kind of did. My son's death rippled through my loved ones---and some things we cannot fix--there is pain there is crazy there are things we pleaser fixers just can't fix. GreaT REMINDER ----Choose gratefullness--even if it's for the simpilist of things--the energy invites more.! Peace to you as well. You are loved. BLESSINGS!
Well that ones over, thank goodness. So much work and money into a dinner that takes what an hour tops to eat and then another 2 hours to clean it all up.
I did get my neccesary hugs yesterday, my E.J and the beautiful little Ava came over, I was working hard so barely got to hold the baby, but E stayed the night with me whhile all the crazys went shopping in the middle of the night.
Crazy dreams all night long from too much pie and woke up to the power being out, so no coffee, ouch.
Hey could you please tell me what I can do or say to get Ron to sign these papers please.
Please tell me what you see coming, I am still waiting for a response to the settlement offer, and I need peace of mind.
I am slowly realizing that I have no more respect or love left for him, just want it over.
I'm not avoiding you--but felt something already in the works and honestly expected your next post would have news. You are in the lull He's weighing two options and on the brink--either to make one last attempt to make you crazy--only, you've changed so much he can't be sure what that is! He is close to a personal crisis as well that he considers will get your sympathy but that too has him lost as HE IS considering finelly that You care BUT NOT! That you are taking care of you first and the family first. This is new to him and suddenly, he is aware he is out of control. Remember those panic feelings? When you first faced the idea that the whole game changed? .He thought he knew you. There is much going on with him. If you must do something. Send him a message---to the point---dry as sand---I can't put my life on hold any longer. I have all I need to go to court. One way or the other this is getting done. You have five days to sign the papers before I file the nessassary paper work. I'll be waiting for the lawyer's phone call. I have already sent him a copy of this.
Nancy--the intention is there---now take the action. End it.. Spirit says you know what to do---the training wheels came off the bike months ago. BLESSINGS!
WEll I did it, I wrote him an email and said last chance to sign or we go to court,, this is the best offer you will get if it goes to court you pay attorey fees and we will ask for the original higher amount.
He replied that he would like to talk to me about this when is a good time, and I said don't bother telling me you can't afforsd it blah blah blah, either sign it or we are going to court.
Good for you!!!! And you are right to tell him to skip "the talk". It makes your intention more concrete and not just an empty threat. When making a move--a descicion you are stuck on trapped in should I shouldn't I--remember It's our fear of mistake or not being perfect that paralizes us---I have been stuck there myself--I had parents who were very critical---it has helped me be a perfectionist when it counts but also I had issues with letting myself make mistakes. The truth is a woman who does not change her mind doesn't have one! An indicator that you made a good move is an energy rush---the indicator that you made a wrong move is the opposite--suddenly you feel stuck in mud--depressed or just plain tired. And wrong moves can always change directions and often what seems as a bad thing actually is all good if you learn something about yourself or others. It really is all good--if you see it that way. It's about forgiving yourself and not being too fearfull. Not to be so passive you wait for something to happen. This knowing when to move when to wait is an issue for everybody. That's why lightening up with yourself is freeing. Also--keep it sly with Ron about what you have to beat him in court--let his paranoia and his lies work for you! He's done things you did not know about and right now he has no idea what you know or don't! A Goddess makes it work for her. It's driving him crazy not knowing what you know---he's hoping to poke you just right so you'll spout off but don't--Be confident--he'll get that message and believe you DO have the worst. BLESSINGS!
So do you think it willwork? will he sign and finally end this?
Stay strong--believe it will work and it will. His goal is to stall. He's hoping you will not go to court. Think about it--if he honestly thought going to court would be to his advantage he'd of had YOU in court a long time ago. Yes, court WILL get this done. He may call your bluff but ignore that. That's why giving him a time frame will speed this up. I know it sounds too easy but feel it in your bones--YOU ARE ENDING THIS--and it will end. You are more powerfull than you know and in the past if he felt that he knew how to crumble you--get you so emotional your power loses focus. KEEP your power and he is no match for it. This has been part of your lesson through this journey. You are ready and aware of how easily you can get drained so if it happens--don't fall down the rabbit hole---step back--say to yourself--ok it's happening again---you get hurt--emotional and feel hopeless and drained. You have a head now that fixes that! You just do the things that fill your energy back up and get back on track. He really is no match for you and yes he will sign the papers--just keep the blinders on untill the race is finished--visualize that racehorse crossing the finish line. INTENTION--FOCUS--NO DISTRACTIONS! Blessings!
Well I called the lawyers office and they told me Ron has not returned any calls or papers at all, so I said lets take hime to court.
I said it has been almost 3 years and I am done with his games and want this over.
I also told them my mom has been very ill and talking about not being around much longer, they love her and said they will get on this asap.
It is true my mom is very sick and needs to know I will be taken care of.
I asked what John thought of the credit card statements and she said it won't matter in court, and I replied oh yes it will it shows a clear path of his money spend during our marriage and why he refinanced my house 3 times.
She agreed and said she would speak to John and get back to me.
I am scared, but I feel power and I believe this will go my way for alot of reasons.
I have learnwed so really hard lessons and it is time for me to be okay with my life and step one is to get that divorce and know I won in the end.
I really don't care what happens with
Ron and Colleen, it can't be good, life is not that cruel.
Well today I paid my bills without getting a cent from Ron. He called and blah blah about how he is broke and will get me money next week ect...
He tried to be friendly and I was too, but told him he needs to sign this thing now.
He said Nancye you know I will take care of you, I haven't missed a payment yet, so what if I am late.
I heard in him a little of the man I knew, but still no regret.
I wanted to tell you a couple of trippy stories.
A couple that shops in my store, beautiful and 5 gorgeous kids, nice always friendly.
He came in the other day looking like he was in a train wreak. Arm in a sling bad stitches across his head in 4 places.
He told me on Thnksgining he was playing with his daugther and somehow went through the window in the back of the house. Picked himself up , drove to the hospital.
Well I saw his wife yesterday and she told me, he got up wrapped a towel around his arm and said he needed stitches and would call from the hospital.
20 minutes later he hadn't called and she got a strange feeling, drove to the hospital, one parking place in the whole lot, parks there and see;s him laying almost dead next to his his car, his head cracked open from falling out,. She gives him cpr gets him in the hospital where he had lost 90% of his blood and was in a coma for 3 days.
She told me her sister died this year and a lady she didn't know came up to her last month and told her her sister went to the other side, but caem back to walk with her, she feels that is what saved her husband.
Also about me, I get floating holidays and work and forgot to take them this year, my boss decided to give me one out of the blue and I said okay great.
That day the tree I have parked under for 5 years fell over in the wind and crushed the car in the place I park.
Okay I blew it, he called Friday morning and it was a number I didn't know so I answered. I asked what number he was calling from and he said it was his home phone, his cell doesn't work where he lives.
Funny I never knew that.
I asked him if he was going to sign and he said he hasn't seen anything yet. I don't think that is true, I gave John his address months ago, and Ron does lie. I told him what we were asking and explained that this is his best offer, if it goes to court it will be higher. I started out strong and firm and I told him I didn't like getting my money when ever he felt like giving it to me. I asked him how he would like to have to call his employer every month and say may I please have my money so I can pay my bills.
He said Nancye you know I will always take care of you.
I said look Ron, the fence fell down in the storm and I have Christmas coming I don't want to play money games this month, and he offered to come out and fix the fence, asked if there was anything else I needed him to do, and could he take a spa while he was here.
He sounded like my Ron so I joked and said you could take me to disneyland for my birthday, He laughed and said a no.......
I got off the phone and felt like a fool for even talking to hime, he doesn't miss me, he plays with me.. I guess I was hoping he would say, I wish I could, but he didn't he acted like it was the dumbest thing he ever heard. again ripped my heart out, only this time it was my fault.
I text him later and told him no one would be home on Sunday for him to fix anything, but thanks anyway, he text me back twice saying he would come anyway, and I said no, but I have been so sad since, I just hate it, I guess I can't talk to him anymore.
OK----this is bad but ALL good---you are AWARE! Really Nancy, that is how it works for all of us---even psychic me. The part to leave out is the feeling bad about yourself--beating yourself up and REGRET. That's the part that weakens you. You got it right away! And in the past it would have taken a second wack after actually looking forward to seeing the "old Ron" who filled you with false hope. You handled it very well--texting him immediatly and once not under the spell of his voice and his promise to take care of you-- your head kicked in----the blessing is you ARE not just shutting down the heart but juggling the two--so it's going to happen--there will be times the heart opens a bit too wide BUT the head backs you up--protects--it's not all or nothing--give yourself a break and just forget that phone call---it's a good practice drill. I'm sure he's gotten the papers as well--if not it's because he has not given a true adress but your lawyer knows how to deal with that but really Nancy follow your gut--he has seen those papers. You know what to do--do not be home on Sunday---did you change the locks? He wants to take a spa?!!! I get a chill! As if he's slyly enjoying a private joke and feeling powerful and smug. Didn't he sneak in and leave his scent just to feel his power? Nancy--instead of hating yourself for having opened your heart to FEEL before your head--the male side with the big sword could step in---instead of feeling bad---imagine his complete frustration--confusion and anger when he gets the REALITY and it it sinks in--really sinks in--he no longer is in control. Use that shame feeling to just anger you towards the finish line that much faster. Before Christmas comes and the legal office closes for the holidays--tell your lawyer AGAIN you have to resolve this and be firm. Also, tell them Ron called you and claims he has not seen the papers. Tell them you want a court date. This incident only validates what spirit has been telling you---not needing anything from Ron is your POWER---the key to your freedom. It's not that a woman should not need such things IT'S BECAUSE Ron uses it as a weapon---he does not play fair---controlers never do. Perspective is key here---no regrets--no shame--just focus on the finish line---you can do this. BLESSINGS!
Will I ever get my regret from him, or is it too late now to wish for such a thing?
Take a cold shower! Yes he will regret--but right now he honestly does not feel he's lost anthing--it's hard to understand that but his mind is a fine tuned denial machine--he still tells himself he can spin this around anytime--that you are still under his control. So--yes he will regret but when it comes---it will no longer mean what you thought it would. You are still feeling the "EMOTIONS"---licking your wounds---so let it wash through--then get your power back---take action--COURT DATE--COURTDATE--COURT DATE. AND put a block on that phone number he called from. HUGS--YOU ARE LOVED! That's the real wound--with or without Ron. YOU ARE LOVED.