Need Insight on My Marriage...THANK YOU CAPTAIN :)
Hello Captain, or anyone else who could please give me insight, I have a problem. My name is Heather and I am a gemini 6/19/88 married to an Aquarius 2/7/85. Here's a brief history on us, we have been together on and off for seven years. We married 5 years ago, he left a year and a half ago, a short year after our son was born. He had absolutely no contact with me, a divorce was started. just recently I moved back up to our home town, where he is located and he expressed to me that he still loved me and wanted to get back together. I decided to give it a chance, if for nothing else than my son...but I'm not in love, and I know it takes time, but I can't shake the fear of what if I'm settling. Can you see a future with us? Does he really love me like he says or is it an attachment thing? Will I fall in love again, or am I wasting my time. Any insight would be appreciated, because honestly it's driving me mad. Thank you in advance, and love and light to all.
Heather, the two of you can be very relaxed and comfortable together. Both of you are capable of enjoying yourselves in an easy way for long periods of time, and your relationship magnifies that quality. Luckily however, it is also able to motivate itself to move forward on the road of life and the path of sef-actualization. The kind of self-satisfaction that can approach smugness is a prime difficulty here. Procrastination is also a problem, but these down times can be creative periods in which the seeds are planted for future adventure and dynamism.
Your love affair can be extremely pleasurable and sensuous. Urging stoicism or heightened responsibility in the midst of such a 'garden of earthly delights' would perhaps be puritanical as well as unnecessary, for the relationship's deepening physical and emotional involvement will usually lead to firm bonds of acceptance and trust. Your relaxed attitudes can lessen tensions and urge everyone around you to enjoy themselves more.
Marriage here will mainly be concerned with keeping its head above water however, but sooner or later you two must face up to challenge, resistence, grief, and pain if you are to deepen and mature your relationship. Simply getting along on a shallow, 'polite-strangers' level will not work. You have to make the choice of whether you are willing to work hard to improve the marriage or give up on it altogether. Just skating along on the surface of it will only lead to the same old past situation recurring where you get too comfortable with routine and your husband wants out. Any superficiality between you will become immediately apparent during demanding and stressful periods. Deep reserves of emotional strength will have to be built up to avoid spiritual bankruptcy at such times. This marriage is something that will require your whole heart and body to make it work so, if you really don't love your husband, it is no use even trying to get back together. Your husband is looking for a mutually equal and sharing relationship but you like to follow your own plan for the way things should go - you two may just not be on the same playing field when it comes to marriage.