Feeling Stuck..



  • Good Evening Everyone,

    For a while now, I have had this feeling of being stuck in a kind of monotonous existence. I try to move forward regarding what I'd like for myself (specifically education and career), but it seems like there is a barrier of some sort preventing me from completing anything. I have the drive, motivation and willingness to complete what I start, yet I just cannot! Something always pops up. It's like I get to the door, open it, see what's through the threshold, but just can't walk through it. It is frustrating me and I'd like some help. Any guidance or insight will be greatly appreciated.

    Peace and Blessings,

    Amirah



  • Hello Amirah,

    Sometimes discontent can be good! It alerts us to the fact that there is something more than we are currently seeking or creating in our life and it can also provide the necessary feedback we need about where we are headed on our life path and how we might need to change or "tweak" our efforts in order to get the results we want. A few things came up for me when asking for guidance to your question...

    It is not just in the having that we find joy - it is through the act of creating it. In other words, dont' worry so much about the end result, just enjoy the process. I think you might be afraid of failure or of doing the "wrong" thing or heading down the "wrong" path. Your life is a journey and every situation you find yourself in is an opportunity to learn and grow. So don't worry so much about your final destination - when we reach our final destination we are dead!

    Now you say that you have the "drive, motivation, and willingness to complete" what you start, but then you say that you reach the threshold and don't walk through it. Do you see how those two statements do not support each other? So, based on results, you do not have the drive, motivation and willingness to complete what you start. The question is "why?" You say that something always comes up to stop you - are these external events or internal things like fear and anxiety? It is coming through as internal - that fear I mentioned above of not being "right" or of not choosing the "right" path or of failure. So what you really need is COURAGE. Take a deep breath, forget about your worries and fears, and just walk over the threshold. Put one foot in front of the other.

    Lastly, balance is coming through. I think this means that you may be placing too much importance on one thing in life or thinking that once this or that happens or you achieve this or that THEN you will be happy. Life has its ups and downs, successes and failures, joys and sorrows. There is no way to stop it. The key is to enjoy the ups, successes and joys to their fullest and to learn from the downs, failures and sorrows. Sometimes all that means is acceptance. Sometimes it is a lesson in courage (where you are now). Sometimes it is a lesson in humility. Sometimes it is a lesson of forgiveness. Sometimes it is a lesson of perseverance. The point is...it is all just lessons. Take them as they come.

    So take a deep breath and exhale all that anxiety and then start with that first step forward. Enjoy yourself!

    Blessings,

    Watergirl



  • Thanks for responding Watergirl! It is greatly appreciated!! Thank you for the insight on how changing or tweaking my efforts regarding my life path, It places things in a different perspective for me.

    For clarity's sake, by stating that I have the drive, motivation and willingness to complete what I start, yet I just cannot is the issue.. I feel as though I can't attain the results that I am striving for, therefore, clearly something amiss I just don't know what it is!! I can comprehend why you may believe courage is at the nucleus of this situation, but it is not. It's not a lack of courage or ambition, I have both almost to a fault! It's not that I don't want to to walk through the proverbial door, I CAN'T!!! There seems to be a blockage for attaining my goals and desires and that's what I am seeking guidance on.

    Thank you again, and please respond!!!

    Peace and Blessings,

    Amirah



  • Are you sure that your goals are really what YOU want or are they what you think other people want from you? It may be that you don't want to walk through the door because you feel that you will be trapped in a lifestyle that is not really for you. It may be reluctance holding you back.



  • What is your passion, Amirah?



  • Watergirl,

    Your words are so encouraging and a lesson for us all. Now to incorporate them on a daily basis ,a challenge but I feel peace will follow

    Amused



  • Amirah - What came through is that you are holding yourself back and nothing else. Fear is the problem. If you are truly motivated then no obstacles will hold you back. You have the desire, but motivation is your struggle. So give me an example of what's on the other side of the door - over the threshold - as well as an example of an "obstacle" that keeps you from attaining your desire.

    Amused - thank you 🙂



  • Thank you everyone for your responses!! I'm taking everything into account that has been said thus far.. As far as what my passion is, I'd have to say assisting those who are in need of nurturing or children. I want for everyone to be in tuned with themselves and there surroundings and be the very best soul they can be. Regarding me holding myself back. Hmmm, well I never thought about it that way... I can think of some self defeating ways that I have, (a little self conscious about my weight) but I don't see how it applies to this..

    Ok here is an example of what I'd like to accomplish: For about a year now, I've been wanting to open my own Spa and Salon. I see myself doing it and being much more happier than I am now. Not to say that I am soooo miserable in my current situation, (stay at home mom) I just want more for myself and family. The problem is that every time I prepare myself to go back to school and get the certifications that I need, either something happens with one of my children or my husband or in this case we don't have it in the budget. (pipes burst in our house!) I just don't understand why I can't accomplish what I set out for myself. It truly is discouraging..



  • Watergirl you nailed it I came to this forum bc this is how I feel. Yet I see the situations I've created myself. It's a relielf to see you fully express the nature of what is really going on, it isn't always on the surface I forget that or sometimes dwell on that too often.

    'Love is letting go of fear' a quote I've seen and find myself telling myself this often. I examine my beliefs, to see that some beliefs dwell in fear of not trusting life ability to work itself out. I'm currently in a difficult transition in dropping this fear. Finding more instinctive moments of joy with immense energy not knowing what to do with it. Even in sadness this immense energy is there the motivation though isn't.

    Maybe there is something I'm not examining, something I'm not allowing myself to get motivative? I certainly have reach an all time low that I am in a moment of alertness of just doing so I can feel better but it doesn't seem enough. I need to acheive. So I'm practicing to acknowledge the small achievements I have made. To have some sense of motivational satisfaction.

    Expressing this is just as helpful.

    Praising myself in just being able to smile.

    Commitment to myself is something I lack and will work on with simply things I overlook bc of my focus.

    Where I'm heading I was more concern getting there over enjoying the things that inspire me to get there or intrigue me

    I just wish it was immediate.



  • Amirah is there a hidden guilt or a lacked of confidence in the idea of the spa? Maybe going to different kinds of spas can help influence a visual ideal spa that you would want. Once a week do you expose yourslef to varies kinds of spas?Some spa espeacially yoga spas have karma yoga where you can volunteer and see behind the scene commitment in a spa.

    .

    Also there are zen group meetings that can help you go deeper into the holistic nature of loving the physical soul.

    I find having like minded people around can help motivate me in the direction I desire to be.



  • Amirah, I can fully associate with your experience. In fact, the same thing has been happening to me, and still keeps happening - every time I come very close to doing something important for myself, some external event happens, which makes it difficult, or impossible. It seems to be saying - no, you can't afford it, your resources (money, time) are needed elsewhere, usually for some family member in difficult situation. Well, the problem is that I can read the "message" two ways - first, as some kind of karma, which I have to pay by accepting the situation, second - as a lesson to actually overcome this pattern, that is to put my needs first. It's really a tough choice. Maybe you (and I) should try for once the second way, and see what happens ? Why wouldn't you start saving money for the realisation of your goal, and you don't touch it no matter what else happens ?



  • Jtini,

    Yes there is a specific type of spa I'd like to open, an Ayurvedic Spa and Salon. I'd like to offer services that include the traditional massage, facial, mani and pedi, but also soul and life nurturing services as well. My Ultimate goal is to become a Licensed Kinesiologist and Ayurveedic Lifestyle Coach, but I know I must crawl before I sprint!! So I figured I'd start from the bottom and work my way up. It's the starting that I'm having trouble with. No matter how I try or what I do to prepare to start, I can't.

    VoplySoply,

    You are so spot on, that is how I feel verbatim!!! However, I've not taken into account the Karmic ramifications of what this situation entails.. This too I haven't considered.. In retrospect, maybe putting my desires first is the fear Watergirl is speaking of. I do feel sometimes that I'd be neglecting my familial responsibilities if I pursue this, but at the same time, I want more for myself..

    Thank you everyone so much!! You have no idea how profound this really is for me. I find myself seeing things in different perspectives.



  • Now how do I move forward?



  • Baby steps! Think I mentioned this in my first post, but you need to focus on the journey instead of jumping/leaping ahead to the finish line. If you want to open your own spa, it would be wise to work in one first. You also might want to take a business management class or two. Get the certifications and training you need as well before you jump to opening your own place. The obstacles that you face now - you will always face obstacles as a business owner. Something always comes up! It is a business after all 🙂 Learn to overcome and push through the obstacles instead of allowing them to stop you...

    A video for you!

    http://youtu.be/JBbt7h0u_14

    Blessings,

    Watergirl



  • Thank you Watergirl!! Lol!! That made me smile!!



  • I thought you might like it 🙂 Be the Little Engine that Could! Did you notice in the video that the train came to a portion of the track that was covered with fallen boulders? He got a determined look on his face and plowed right through it! Also, that song is from the Christmas cartoon, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, but really the lyrics are quite profound 🙂

    Put one foot in front of the other,

    and soon you'll be walking 'cross the floor.

    Put one foot in front of the other,

    and soon you'll be headed out the door!

    There's also a line in there about starting out by simply standing up. Listen to it again....it really is good stuff!



  • Make sure that your dreams are practical - Watergirl's advice about working in a spa or salon first is a good idea to give you more of an idea if that is the sort of thing you want or not. Offer yourself free of charge or to just observe how they work. Ask the proprietors' questions about the business - they should be able to give great advice and tips.



  • Sometimes discussing aspects of your goal such as small details associated with it or things that intrigue you about your goal with family members can give encouragement or a positive response that can give you more confidence in persuing your goal. For me I find this helpful in seeing there is a mutual love in the small things that unites many leaving me with an ease in going deeper.

    Sometimes in the end it's that small detail that can remedy the challenge before you. Follow the love and go deeper with it.

    An ex. reading about essential oil etc find your favorite one learn everything about it, history, complamentary oils etc.

    Take comfort in that knowledge in that you use it to empower yourself, to finding ways to see how it can easily connect with everyday things.

    It's great that you are working in an environment that is of your interest. It'll be only in a matter of time before you start managing to having your own spa. Keep inspiring yourself 🙂



  • Wow!!! Thank you all so much!

    It's funny you mentioned essential oils Jtini. I actually use them in little concoctions I make for hair, skin and well-being!! It was my dabbling into the purpose/ uses of essential oils that beget the idea of pursuing my Spa and Salon! I've actually made some really good stuff!!

    I would like to believe my dreams and aspirations are practical Cap. I guess pursuing something low key like a receptionist position in a spa or salon and learn/work my way from there might be an ideal foundation.

    Yes, Watergirl thank you again!! that little short really is appropriate to my situation in the grand scheme of things. I really must to take some time and truly look with in myself. I haven't done that in a while.


Log in to reply