Help me understand a Cancer man...



  • Hi TG,

    How are you doing? how was your day today? keep good.. I hope you get all happiness this year.. ttly 🙂



  • Hi BH

    I still think we should change your name lol my day was fantastic had the day off hung out with a friend did some shopping... How is the weather in Canada? California has been soooo beautiful such pretty days lately... Everything has been good hun I can't complain how are things for you?? Are you back to work from the lil Christmas break??

    Hope all is well talk to you later..

    TG



  • Hi TG,

    for sure i will change my name 🙂 Today is actually my day off and yeah i went back out to work on Tuesday.... it was quite busy.. but its nice.. i got so much to do today and tired already just thinking about it ..lol... The weather here has been really cold for the past few days but i do like to cold most of the time 🙂 I heard that the weather is always sunny and nice where you're at..

    I have been doing good otherwise.. you know it has been 2 months and i have not heard from him and neither have i called.. but i am adjusting quite well because i know that i do not want to live that unstable life again.. so i have my moments of "why" and "what if" but i am slowly learning to let go... i think i got my answer from him already.. but i will continue to stay positive..

    I am taking a trip to NYC in March for one week to visit some family and friends there .. so i am truly excited about it.. just need to get away from all of this.. but work has been keeping me very busy and i am trying to keep my mind occupied.. btw any ideas on a new name??? lol you keep good to TG, it has truly been a pleasure to talk to you and you keeping in touch.. thanks again for all of that 🙂

    Talk to you soon 🙂



  • How are you doing sweet friend of mine?? Is it still cold on your side of the world? The weather in California is very nice today was a beautiful day can't complain. I am glad to hear you are doing good can't believe it's been 2 months doesn't it get a little easier with each passing day?

    Lucky you traveling to NY I was there for New year in 09' it was so much fun but ohhh so cold! I definitely would like to go back some time when it's not so cold. I know what you mean with the whole work thing hope it is giving you time to enjoy yourself. As far as a new name I have no clue I am going to think about it lol it should be something positive that makes you smile lol

    Broken heart thanks to you as well it has been nice to go through all this mess with someone as well. So Thank You friend 😉

    TG



  • Hi TG,

    So really nice to hear from you ( i though you forgot me ...lol ) I must tell you that i have started going on dates ( even i don't want it ) but i am having such a blast and i am smiling more than i have ever had.. it is so much fun.. gosh i forgot what that was all about... i wish the same for you my Cali friend 🙂 To tell you honestly.. i NEVER thought i would move past my cancer guy.. but i must tell you truthfully... since my first date with a blind date.. who was the cutest thing ever.. he made me forget my ex.. how crazy is that.. i am not in love any more with him.. i am not hung up or waiting for him.. i am truly ecstatically happy... unbelievably happier.. gosh i wish you can hear it in my voice... lol...

    TG i want you to be as happy as i am.. wish you all the best of it..

    Omg , the weather is sooooooooooooooooo cold here.. it is freezing cold.. i like to cold but this is a bit too cold for me... 🙂 how have you been doing otherwise? pls keep in touch my friend..

    Zilla 🙂



  • hey yall this is my very first post on my very first forum ! i usually just read my horoscope and go on bout my business but i cant sleep and got bored. the cancer man question caught my eye and ive just sat here and read all 7 pages of yall becoming friends over this. made me wanna tell my story. first of all my cancer guy is a hard worker and a stylish dresser and he also is very tight with his feelings we



  • geeeeez sorry bout that hit a wrong button anyway he used to coach my sons ball team when he was bout 10 or 12 (my son is now 21 and hes a cancer also by the way) so i had known him for several years but we didnt hang out with the same people or in the same circles so to speak we got together on paper actually when we had a mutual friend in jail bout 2 years ago. he had gotten divorced about a year or so before that after being married for 18 years . didnt take it so well and started getting in trouble and long story short did a year in jail never been in trouble before in his life. went to church regularly sang in the choir and even took his 2 boys on a mission trip in south america to help build a church when they were young so i can honestly say hes bout the best person i ever had come into my life. anyway through the mutual friend he got on the phone with me once he realized he knew me his first day in jail and asked me to please call his mom and tell her where he was cause she only used a cell phone and he hadnt been able to contact her so i said sure no problem bout a week later i got a letter thanking me profusely for doing that for him it really meant alot to him and he was gonna do something for me when he got out he wrote me again once or twice but i never wrote him back didnt realize he was still in there till bout 7 months later he wrote me again .......... this is where my belief that God truly does send people into our lives at certain times for certain reasons comes into play......one week later my best friend/boyfriend passed away from liver disease (another whole story on that.... he knew he was dying and hid it so well from me and his family until about 3 or 4 months before he passed and he couldnt hide it anymore...needless to say i was devastated..... the day after the funeral i got a letter from my cancer friend then another and another within a week asking me to please write him back he just wanted somebody to write him back cause he was goin crazy so i did and told him what was happening wth me and my life and for the next 3 months until he got out i received at least 4 or 5 letters EVERY SINGLE WEEK from him. we became really close on paper and got together when he came home but alas..... it just wasnt meant to be. we dated about 4 months and was with each other constantly. but im kinda shy with my feelings and he was too.....in person.......not like in our letters..... and i felt myself getting too attached and finally just came out and told him i thought it was best if we cooled it some because ....well.....there was just something missing like.....you know when hes just not THAT in to you anyway i think i kinda hurt his feelings cause like overnite i all of a sudden didnt hear from him for about a month so i got brave and called him and said look i know we werent meant to be together maybe as a couple but you truly are the best thing thats ever came into my life and i dont want to lose you as a friend and he hugged me and said i love you too girl and anytime you need ANYTHING im there for you and you are welcome at my house anytime night or day it doesnt matter who is here. that was a year and a half ago and hes now on his 3rd girlfriend since me.LOL but his latest one has no problem with us being friends and now she is considered to be my best friend also right along beside him. i was actually there the first time he invited her over and i made sure to make her feel welcomed and like i wasnt a threat to her in any way. she knows how much i care about him and theyve become close enough that shes even told me how much he really loves me too . its so nice not to have to deal with a jealous girlfriend. they almost broke up before the holidays and i told her dont let him run you off because thats what happens when he starts caring bout somebody . hes afraid of gettin hurt again like his wife done him. and i gotta add this..... he told me he was suppose to get married once before he actually met the wife that he had think he said he was bout 20 ....day of the wedding...at the church...she said she had to tell him this before they actually said i do....she told him she had slept with his best friend. he went crazy and left her standing there at the church with all the guests, family, and preacher....dont think hes talked to her since but dont know for sure i was so surprised to hear that had happened and i didnt want to pry into it......... ok well thanks for giving me something to do for my insomnia.....i think im cured now so im back to bed....... besides my son the best "cancer" man i ever had the privilege to get to know....love you D.B.....more than you could ever know.........:)



  • BH

    Ohhh myy gosshhh I am so HAPPY for you!! I wish you could hear it in my voice 😉 Sometimes it takes someone new to forget about all the ugly stuff in the past. We get so caught up on the hurt feelings we don't look at the blessing a break up can be. I am so glad you are having fun with the dating that is what it should be about. Enjoy yourself you deserve it!!!

    As for me yeah I am doing the whole dating thing but as of now nothing to be excited about lol I am trying my best to stay positive maybe one day I will bump into that special guy I know he is out there 😉 for now just trying to take care of things I know I was away for a while sorry been restless and sick recently ugly stomach virus was going around so you can imagine 😕 Any way hun your message put a big smile on my face I am sooooo happy and excited for you please keep me updated.. talk to you soon..

    TG



  • Naturaly4real

    Thanks for sharing and I'm glad our thread helped your insomnia... Cancer's are great people confusing but when all is well it is sooo worth it just takes patience to get to the bottom of their true feelings. glad it worked out for you and your Cancer.



  • HI TG,

    How are you doing? sorry to hear that you were sick.. hope you are feeling better now.. what is new with you? for me, i met that guy ( the blind date that is so cute) well we are just being friends nothing exciting to talk about.. but just the fact that we are talking. makes me feel so much better in regards to my ex.. this is for sure an eye opener.. i felt that i was so stuck with my ex.. but we still did not speak and i don't ever want to ... he is so manipulative.. well thank God he is done and over with..

    I have so much free time now and it feel really really good...especially mentally... i do not want to get into another relationship at the moment.. i really want some me time.. and it sure does feel great !!! I will just go with the flow and not worry about any thing.. take one day at a time... you were so right before when you said " a broken heart don't kill" lol.. gosh you are so right.. in fact it has made me fell stronger... i am so good now...

    hope to hear from you soon.. it is always so nice to chat with you 🙂

    BH



  • Hi TG,

    It has been a while that i did not hear from you. i hope all is good with you.:)

    for me, i have done something stupid.. i started talking back to my ex.. and he kept on flirting with me and not that i took him seriously.. but now he keeps saying that .. i do not want to mislead you in any way.. but he keeps on saying it.. and then keeps on flirting..

    wish you can knock some sense into me.. i do not need this,cuz i was doing so good.. now i am just as overwhelmed..

    hope to hear from you soon

    BH



  • I know this is very dangerous- but the bad rap that us Cancer men get may be directly attributed to age. Speaking from experience- when I was younger...I did not deserve to have anyone love me. Once we get some life lessons under our belt and actually learn from them we actually do make really good partners. I hope things work out for you.



  • HI CancerMale,

    I don't get it, it is so confusing to me... he really confuses me.. I wish that i did not start to talk to him again... just 2 days of talking and i feel i am right back where i started.. I hate it..

    pls give some insights!!



  • Brokenheart

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    Whhhhhyyyyyyyyy!!!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

    What happened to the new guy and how happy you sounded???? I was gone for a while thinking you got your groove back and was doing big things, finally getting over Mr. Ex and then I get this surprise!!!! NOOOOOOOOO BH we were supposed to change your name remember? lol I am only kidding with you.....

    No but really don't beat yourself up over it, it happens especially when there is history like the two of you had. Please be smart this time don't give so much of yourself protect your heart, make him earn it again. I think Cancers are natural flirts they love to flirt so him flirting especially with you is going to be natural for him. Him telling you he does not want to mislead you I think you should be a little cautious. You guys were together for a while I don't think misleading you should be an issue at this point he either wants what you guys had or he doesn't I mean after 4years I think he should know, but that's just my opinion. I think if you enjoy his company then don't think too much into it just let it progress naturally but be assertive as to what you need from him as well. But again please friend be careful of your heart, I wish I could be of more help but I am a mess when it comes to this part I mean the heart wants what the heart wants 😕

    I am truly sorry I was away for a while been so sad lately a lot going on and just kind of was missing in action. I thought you were good so didn't really think of checking on you but I should have lol 😉 Now that I know you need me to smack some sense into you lol I will check back a little more often! Also let me know if you would like my email address so we can keep in touch when I am not on here. I really hope the past few days have been great for you and again don't beat yourself up over it, you care, nothing wrong with that just be smart about it... Take care talk to you soon...

    Hugs your way,

    TG



  • awwwwwww...... 🙂 thanks TG, so really nice to hear from you... gosh you are such my life saver..lol... YES pls i would like ur email if you dont mind it...

    How have you been keeping...sure has been a while.. what is going on with you?? pls say ur doing better than me, lol... 🙂

    well the new guy was just a distraction for me.. yeah it did work for a bit.. but tha guy has his own issues to deal with.. so i do not want to get my self involved in it..

    but as for Mr. EX well yes we did started to exchange emails and talk on messenger and i though that i could have been strong and okay just being his friend.. (cuz yeah i kinda miss him) but i was doinggggggggg sooooooo goooooooooodddddddddd...OMG!!!!!! and then i fell into the trap again.. and i was really sad.. and just some of our conversations made me realize that it is the same as it used to be.. he is so controlling and manipulative and i hated it .. anyways, so we had made plans to go away for a weekend at the end of Feb, however i started thinking that i do not want this guy in my life any more.. and last week i wrote an email.. telling him that i still have feelings for him and since we were just going to be friends that i could not do it.. so he agreed and told me to contact him if i should need to talk (yeah whatever!!! lol) but i never replied and since one week now we have not communicated... and guess what?? i am feel so much better without him.. and for the cute guy ..well..he was just there to help me get by and it worked ...lol...

    anyway TG... i think that i will always need you my friend to knock some sense into me.. lol so pls by all means lets keep in touch.. ur email would be awesome ...

    Thanks again for replying 🙂



  • WOW! good for you, you ended it on your terms look at it as a positive thing I'm glad you had that contact now you know that he has not changed and although you miss him it will make it easier to move on... It's normal to miss someone you care about but it's smart of you to do what's best for you.. Sure the weekend getaway would have been nice but what about the after?? When you are thinking things are better and you are working towards something but he is not? You would have been even more heartbroken and wasted even more time...

    Everything happens for a reason and things always find a way to line themselves up.. Go find yourself another distraction those are always fun and who knows they might just be the one to make you completely forget about Mr. Ex... Oh and remember an Ex is an EX for a reason 🙂 my email address is msgigi82 at yahoo dot com email me whenever you would like I will still be on the forum but get my moments where I don't log on much.. talk to you soon..

    TG



  • I know EXACTLY what happened TaurusFemmeFemale...At first, yes, all was perfect - he was into you. Lemme give you more detailed insight on Cancerians (specifically cancer males - which I am)...In the beginning he was very sweet & very charming, convinced that you were the one, which you clearly had made as an impressionable person. He loved you. Yes. When he wanted to introduce you to his fam...that's when the change of his behaviour started it..think about it..that's when your CancerMan first started actin strange according to your story. When you declined - that it was too fast - which probly it was..and didin't go to visit his fam where u were even courteously invited..u hadn't pitched..so when he went abroad on family vacation - offended as water-signed people r..he was re-thinking whether you were really in it..(even if you told him u were) and most probly his mother as is mentioned in the story - maybe hinted him that the relation is probably vague - i don't know it's just a more detailing possible aspect of what could've contributed to his already-then disappointed mindset on the love that he considered very sacred at the point..in effect maybe her 'supposed comment & his own thinking hade him conclude he was in an unstable relationship. To put it simple. He felt you didn't care.

    Remember that while Cancer is a very cuddly, home-governed body like a Taurus..Cancerians are Cardinal (active) people..meaning we do get active on what we consider meaningful.. a halt in the routinery love expressions he was making is what shook him off & made him become crabby, starting to sidestep his emotions when he came back 2 weeks later. He was questioning your intentions..which undoubtedly are most probably pure (taureans just happen to be bit slower than Cancerians when matters of the heart are concerned..which is natural to you..it's a good thing actually..being 'fixed' - later on to bask on romance).However! THAT is what changed his attitude toward the whole love thing.

    He came back confused..from then on out he would be disappearing & reappearing..but lemme tell you something.. him saying, "I'm sorry I caused you pain and I'll leave you alone etc" is a sure HINT that he STILL loves you. we Cancerian Males are attached to people whom we love like that. and we say "we didn't mean to"..but really "we did" sometimes..and sleeping with you in a non-committal manner was his dosage of getting over the pain that he perceived to be an unsure progression on your own part..that's how HE took it..so now you were now expecting after he came back that you two pick things back up from where you left it off..he then confessed his emotional detachment..apologizing later..and back and forth - up to the day you confirmed within a month that he texted you to cut off the entire love-scene. He was NOT gaming you..He got meddled because he couldn't figure out where your heart was.

    Always remember if thingz will proceed with you two..Cancer is a CARDINAL (ACTIVE) star-sign. Yes you may say & mean that you are in it for the long-run & decline to a hurried familial involvement..but then during that period preceding he will look out for alot of ways for you to show you love him. It's not your fault..i will point that out. That's just how crabs are. You couldn't have known am sure..our shells are our own world to hide our emotions & no music note can be heard by anyone else unless we choose to come out of it.

    We need a lot of nurturingTaurusFemmeFemale..that's what alot of people don't understand about us Cancer Males..and yes they find us confusing. We are nurturers ourselves by nature..but the men..i mean especially the MEN..we like being taken care of as Cancerian males..we want our women to be like our mothers..but of course a younger version of our own..we worship them..do everything for them bcos we love them - and in fact we're not needy babies us Cancerian men..give us a good fucking, compliment & support us in our decisions (gives us a good morale boost), listen to us as we are also good listeners..and of course cook & feed us well and I promise there isn't much that MOST cancerian men could desire. He loves you. I can promise you that. And as heartbroken as you may possibly feel..he feels that too - on top of his own confusion from that past incident of familial intake which he felt as all cancer men would perceive "rejection"...

    and with all the side-stepping BACKWARDS that he has done..he won't even realise that THAT is what happened to HIMSELF. Well.. all in all..it's a crazy situation..ya'll need to talk..lol. Communication is the key.

    Peace..Progress ya'll



  • Thanks for your comment... I think you are referring to me and not TaurusFemme?

    I agree with a lot of what you said and appreciate the cancer perspective especially coming from a male Cancer.

    I do believe he cares a lot for me BUT, I just could not keep up with the games. Us Taurus are very loyal but we also need reassurance and crave so much attention from our partners once we have been hurt it's hard for us to forget, we forgive but to forget is hard. I do believe something happened while he was away and yes maybe you are right him being influenced not sure if by his mother but something happened while he was gone. Whatever it was we were never able to shake it off and the relationship just went downhill from there. I feel I tried to be patient, and gave in to so many things to prove to him I was committed and serious in what we had. I soon went from being his one and only to being treated like any other girl who he could reach for when he was lonely. It was and is very hurtful especially when I know the love he is capable of showing when he was so cold I just took it as him not caring.

    We have since moved on I at no time reach out to him but he reaches out often sounds nice right? BUT I feel he only reaches out when he is lonely I just don't trust his intentions I feel he is so selfish and got tired of putting myself in that situation. Before he would text something sweet and there I would go back in his trap he would get what he wanted and then go back to being distant.

    Any way a month ago reached out wanting to talk I met him and he told me he really wanted to try things again and seriously date me like we did before. I told him that without us resolving any prior issues I was not comfortable with that. I left his place leaving the ball in his court wanting to see what his next move would be. Lets just say he did not do much acted like all the other times. I do not expect him to do all the work BUT I have done more than enough if he is saying he knows he messed up and wants another chance and then is given that chance he should do something with it! I've moved on met a great Libra guy who is sooo good to me makes me not want to waste my time on someone who makes me question what we have. He still reaches out and just today in fact I got a text again I know he cares but I need a man that cares enough to work through things not ignore them. At this point the games are not worth me jeopardizing what I have with Mr Libra.. COMMUNICATION is key to a cancer/taurus relationship both need to find a way and compromise something I was more than willing to do just hard when the other person does not think they are doing anything wrong or hurtful.

    Thanks again for your insight!



  • Alrighty..anytime..anytime..:)..oh and sorry yes..lol..the blog was directed at you Taurusgirly..not TaurusFemme. You know what..big-ups to you for moving on..I think the situation was becoming complicated altogether anyway. I can't help but wonder having been so studious of star-signs lately though.. and I do not mean to ask this bluntly but rather more out of care..do you believe that LIBRA/TAURUS works? Am not saying that astrology determines everything..and sure it doesn't..they are possibilities beyond impossibilities..and like you said it's all about "compromise" - esp. when you can denote Mr. Libra treats you very well compared to ex-Cancer Man (he did mess up that cancerian no doubt)..

    I just want to mention that I've been with a Libra woman 2 years ago..i was deeply involved...and it's really a painful story to unravel..but in short my sentimental & affable manner of showing love was very much unappreciated & thrown back in my face by this libra-woman..I didn't know about astrology then..then when I discovered and started learning the common trends & compatibility..well..funny enough..it just happens to be that LIBRA is the sign that is the most CONTRADICTORY for Cancerians.. (you know each star-sign has a namely zodiac sign that is not meant to be with them ..astrological hell.. as they call it)..

    What I'm trying to say is..even the most compatible of zodiac signs like Gemini/Aquarius and Cancer/Scorpio all depend all-in-all on 'birth charts'.. right?..However these star-signs.. namely just like Taurus/Cancer..are still well representably compatible and overall manageable relationships...now can you "imagine"...speaking from a very astrological point of view yet on a caring basis..what it's like to mix an air-sign (Libra - that can factually match best with fire/other air sign) with an earth-sign (Taurus - that can factually match best with water or other earth sign) & on top of that.. considering the natural accompanying differences in birth charts??..It's really something I'm very afraid to think of..but considering your happiness with him - I'll wish you the best..live in love's faith....

    I have an Uncle, he is a Cancer born 22 June 1984..about to be wedded to a Libra Woman born 25 September 1990 in a month..all does seem well with them..yes. The 1 thing they do have in common is them both being CARDINAL signs - libra and cancer - (active, original & innovative)...but that also means one will try & always lead in own creativity=trouble (and in fact in this case you being a "fixed" earth-sign makes it better in your scenario with libra)...and you know what..to move from theory to pragmatics..you can see it when you personally interract with my uncle & soon to be aunt-in-law..the differences..and she being an air-sign "libra" has her natural tendency to be flirty and not take things as seriously or as heartily as my Cancerian Uncle would like..he is a home-person..much like Taureans..and she is an extroverted person..let me give you a very brief experiential example..this AUNT i'm telling you about has flirted with ME behind my unc's back...ME being my uncle's NEPHEW..she knowingly...and my Uncle is her FUTURE HUSBAND.. all I could do was keep my mouth from saying too much..

    (Didn't want to make her feel uncomfy -like i was gonna expose her-..nor make her feel extravagant as though I condoned it..just neutral to it..kiddish in a sense)

    Hey...not discouragement..do what's best for you..

    Take Care TaurusGirly...



  • What i wrote in brackets where it says ...("you know each star-sign has a namely zodiac sign that is ot meant to be with them")..it censored a word.."Astrological 'H.E.L.L'..:)..peace..


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