To be or not to be times two...help!



  • My fiance and I have been together almost a year now and have had lots of ups and downs. I am trying to figure out if he really does want to marry me and if so when will it happen? Hes had problems getting his divorce but its soon possible that both are divorces will go thru around the same time.

    Also an old friend of mine came into my life before I started dating my fiance and I am,wondering why my friend reappeared a few weeks ago? Is mine and his relationship always going to be just as friends or is he being put in my life for more? We have known each other forever but never dated or anything but I just wonder if theres a purpose in our relationship. Trying to just sort thru all the confusion and just want a happy future!



  • Can you give the bithdates of all concerned in order to pick up the vibes?



  • Me 10_23_1972

    Fiance 10_26_1978

    Friend 8_24_1982



  • You and your fiance: the attraction of two people who are very alike is at work here. The other person is familiar and therefore judged to be safe. This can either be a productive matchup, full of good feeling, or else it can fritter itself away in debates and arguments. It is usually not a good match for marriage. Part of the problem here is deciding who will take control or make the major decisions - it is often impossible for you two to come to a mutual agreement, and if any situation is to be resolved, one person must take a leadership role to get things sorted out. It is at this point that power struggles can surface, sometimes resulting in a no-win situation where things just wind up staying the way they are. Actually you may both prefer it that way, since you secretly enjoy the debate and stimulation that would be eliminated by agreement or strong leadership. This relationship is often paradoxical - it seems to involve two strong-minded individuals who know what they want, yet you two are beset by indecision and by fuzzy, even irrational thinking. Beneath your daily interactions lies a streak of perversity that sometimes threatens to subvert all your constructive efforts. This self-destructive tendency undercuts many of your endeavours together. If however the two of you can devise a way of reaching agreement, such as giving up your power struggles, you may find you get along well, although maybe not well enough for a lifetime commitment. Your love affair and/or marriage however can be lively, even hectic and stressful. Sexual interaction goes either like a house on fire or not at all - an extreme which is reflected elsewhere as well. Sympathy and understanding, for example, can alternate with coldness and incomprehension, leaving both of you uncertain, frustrated, and bewildered.

    You and your friend: this works better for a love affair than for a longterm intimate relationship. There is a strong emphasis on outward appearances here with both of you being critical of each other's looks, speech, dress, and manners. You will both assume you will be hampered in your social aspirations if either of you appears looking dowdy or uncouth. Too much preparation before going out in public, however, may destroy the natural and unpremeditated air that can help put others at ease, so that a rigid insistence on turning an imposing face to the world may work against itself. Similarly, if you two judge other people on how they look or act, you may miss out on the real person behind the mask. Bringing the inner and outer self into balance will be an important challenge for this relationship. A love affair here can be highly passionate, but the emphasis on superficial things bodes ill for a deeper commitment. For you two, sexual enjoyment may actually depend on the other partner passing the objective tests of good looks and keeping fit. Since increasing age can obviously erode this ideal, a relatively short-lived love affair is more common than marriage between you. Digging deep to appreciate the inner qualities of one's lover is sorely needed in this combination.



  • Thanks Captain!

    Things are currently going insane with my fiance. I think he may wind up in jail and my vehicle may be impounded. I think its time for me to move forward without him. Thoughts?



  • Gosh well if you are doubting then you should not do it. If in doubt leave it out.



  • Well he finally came back about noon today. I could tell he'd been atleast drinking so my question now is is there someone else to on top of all the other chaos. I feel like I have just been a game to a con! 😞



  • I think this guy is just not worth it. You can do much better.



  • Playing nice the next few days but by the end of the week one of us needs to leave. I am worn out being on the edge and I have just kept fighting because I thought I really had it right!

    Any chance I will see my friend soon?

    Thank you!


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