• Dear Blmoon,

    WEll it has 2 weeks now and I have spent this time reflecting on all the things we have talked about over the last year and even longer then that.

    From the first time you responded to me you made me believe in myself and in my marriage.

    You have always told me they were not happy and wouldn't stay together long.

    You told me a year ago that they were at the breaking point and here it is a year lattert and they are still together.

    You have told me that he would miss me and the kids and the life we shared and he never even calls any of us.

    You have told me over and over again that he would regret all this and try to come home, but again, he doesn't even talk to me, even whwen I try.

    I pray everyday and I try to be strong and proud and self relient. I am a wonderful women and a great mom, and sister and aunt, but I think it is time to relize that Ron is gone and doesn't care at all about me.

    I don't know why, I never will, but this hoping and praying is klilling me slowley.

    I belive in all you say, I just don't understand why you see things that aren't happening for me, when I have done what I am supposed to do

    I see him every time I fall asleep and feel him holding me, and its driving me crazy.

    I need to let it go and I don't know how.

  • Dear Blmoon,

    Please talk to me, tell me what I am doing wrong. I don't understand why nothing is happening

    My last post was not saying I don't believe in you, its me I don't believe in and I feel I must be doing something wrong for life to be aso cruel.

    I would love to just be okay, to forget about him and move on, but something is blocking me.

  • Dear Blmoon,

    Come on its been over 2 weeks now, I miss you. The 15th came and went and no good news. I did talk to my lawyer, but all he said was no responce at all from Ron yet.

    Todayn at work the creep that threw me out of produce asked Trisia if she would have me walk the department and make signs, because they haven't had a chance to catch up on them, and of course being who she is she said I would do it.

    It was hard, I couldn't say no, wasn't given the chance, but I did a great job, and got out of self checkout for awhile.

    I keep thinking they would miss what I did over there and ask me to come back, but they just hired someone else, so no I don't get that either.

    I don't know what I am doing wrong that keeps me from finding more out of life.

    I mean I work hard and don't really have alot of time to meet new people, but I work in a busy grocery store so I see hundreds of people every day.

    I pray, and I dream and I wish and I can't just can't stop hoping he still loves me somehow, and misses our life.

  • nancyeann I haven't seen her on the site for a while, I can feel your pain in the post. I am not psychic but have a couple of observations. The only thing in life you can control is you and your reaction to circumstances.

    Watergirl has posted regarding patience vs waiting. If you think about that concept waiting seems to indicate that your life is on hold waiting for him to change his mind. There is no value to waiting you are suffering through time.There is a void in your life that you can choose to fill. Do something you like, meditate, get out in nature, spend time with friends and family, make new friends, join a group, go to school, get a kitten they love to snuggle, do something for you.

    Patience seems to be a more active participation in the process and realistically accepting the circumstance. For example you are (patiently) giving him the time he needs to evaluate what and who he wants in his life. While you are doing that you are getting on with your life without him. You aren't replacing him but you are building a happy life without him. That is a choice you can make. You can start with a small thing like what would be fun for me and the kids after dinner tonight. Maybe a family game night or movie night with popcorn.

    This is a very hard lesson for many of us. We have been in your shoes but... You are wasting your pecious time waiting for him to change. You can't change him. None of us have that power over another. Just because you make a choice to find happiness and fulfillment in your life doesn't mean you will be gone for him if he chooses to come back. It means that you are being realisitic... If he wants to come back he knows how to reach you... If he doesn't want to come back you are making a happy healthy life for you and your children.. Either way you will be stronger and happier for it.

    It's hard but one day you will notice you have more happy than sad moments and that is when you know you are on your way.

    Take care during this very difficult time. You will make it and be much stronger because of the lessons you have learned.

  • Dear abetterplace,

    I know what you say is true and believe me I am doing the best I can.

    I don't know if you have read all my posts, but even I don't understand why this is so hard for me.

    We were married 25 years, best friends, 3 beautiful kids and a great financial future, and now he is with his high school girlfriend and I am here with the kids trying my best to keep things together.

    For the first time in my life I worry about money and about who will be here if something happens to me.

    He never talked to me after he left, at least not honestly, he just ran.

    Blmoon has told me from the start that they are not happy and he will try and come back. I don't know if I could accept him back, but his regret would be nice.

    I do alot of things to get on with my life, but there is a hole in my heart where he belongs.

    I am getting stronger, but there is alot of unanswered questions and pain.

    Thank you for your concern it means alot.


    Please talk to me, I am trying to figure out why you are not reasponding, you said lets wait 2 weeks and I did.

    I would love to hear what you see of feel right now about him and about him signing the papers.

  • Nancyeann I could have written the same story. with both of my marriages, Both lasted 20 plus years and poof they are gone. Both men left without a word and minimal contact afterwards. I know exactly what you are dealing with and you have my utmost sympathy as well as admiration for the strong woman you are and the one that will come. I understand fully the pain of abandonment without explaination.

    There are books about how to recover from abandonment. Look on the internet for some fine books on that subject. as well as infidelity..

    One of the things that helped me the most was infidelity forums. Pick one that discusses the issue from all sides except the other person. I have learned that infidelity is a choice made by your partner for what ever reason he needed to make it. That is where you will start to learn your lessons about your relationship. The reactions that are normal, the feeling s that keep you on the roller coaster, the legal advice and the suggestions on how to move on..As angry as you are at her the lesson is for you,The one i used was survivinginfidelity. You can tell your story and someone will pop up almost immediatly with comfort and insight. You will learm there are thousands of people going through the same thing.

    Once I could begin to feel better about me and the path I was taking I graduated to this site. I changed my name to "Abettrplace" I came initially for answers from some of the fine psychics, what I discovered is they have valuable insight into me and my path to fulfillment. They also had answers about if or when he would be back but offered that free will changes the outcome. The only person you have control over is you. find out all you can about you.

    Blmoon has not been here much currently I think I read she needed to finish her book. Astrangel has some fine insight as does Captain, watergirl, and others. If you haven't had a reading from one of them it may give you different information..

    I so want to reach out and hug you and help you see it will be OK in time. It takes a long time to get over a 25 year marriage. Learn and grow. Accept that the old marriage is gone even if he comes back. It needs to be it didn't meet the needs of a lasting relationship.

    Blessing and comfort to you

  • Dear Blmoon,

    Well 2 days until Thanksgiving and I caught that cold, you know the one, the big one everyone gets once a year. Working with the public its almost like clockwork because everyone comes to the store when they are sick.

    I have a million things to do because I am hosting the dinner again 28 years in a row for me, and I still have to work tommorrow.

    Today is the day toget all the cleaning done and I don't feel like moving, much less hauling out the carpet cleaner.

    I have my shopping pretty much done and cooking is a snap for me, so if I can just get through today and tommorrow I will be okay.

    I started my Christmas shopping early this year and got all the big things out of the way and Drew is putting up the lights this week end.

    I still haven't heard anything about the divorce papers being signed, is he going to do it this year or do we have to keep doing this another year?

    Blmoon, why do you see him being sorry and trying to come home when he doen't show any signs of that?

    Please tell me the truth.

    I mean I am not phycic, but I have always believed in you, and what spirit tells you, but it is not happeneing.

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