Big 'Talk' Tonight... Reading/Insight Please.



  • Quick stats: I'm a F/Gemini DOB 6/17/63 and he is M/Scorpio DOB 11/5/81. We've been in a relationship for one year now. However, a non-conventional relationship by today's standards meaning we love one another, but we are not 'dating' per se. Neither of us is seeing anyone else, so there has been a non-spoken monogamy of sorts in that only he and I share this special connection. I believe one of the reasons I was put in his life was to assist him as he navigated through his Saturn Return and I have seen him deconstructed and reconstructed before my eyes. It has been an amazing thing to see unfold. We definitely love one another and have communicated just that. We also have a very strong spiritual bond that transcends our age difference and stations in life. I have fallen 'in love' with him over this past year and although I have always been very honest with him about how I feel, I was very precise and open about just what I desire in a relationship with him and that is not only a best friend, but a lover, partner and mate. He is a very, very bright, intelligent and intuitive man, but 'this' somehow completely came as a surprise. We are getting together this evening to talk about where we're at and where we're headed, both of us taking some time to think about it. I am open to any insight that you, the reader may have. What are you picking up? My heart is light and I am feeling quite peaceful about whatever may transpire tonight as my life has been touched by angel. I also know that I would be the most blessed woman ever, should it happen that he and I continue to walk this earth together as partners. Why do I 'need' this kind of relationship with him? My heart is fully immersed and bathing in love. I believe he is my intended life partner while I am here on this planet and I want to be with him as a wife/partner/companion, taking this to the next level. This woman's hearts desire. Bottom line. Thank you for any feedback.

    J~



  • Some of the impressions I am seeing do not make sense with what you are describing. You are in a very "vulnerable" place and can be easily hurt right now---and it explains despite your complete feelings of peace and faith you are needing insight or validation here. I usually do not need to ask questions first but for some reason spirit insists I ask and then offer clarity. Are you two normally "long distance"? or live close but mostly online together? A deep intimacy under a big safety net of some kind of distance? Has this man ever expressed confusion to you about his s exuality? Is there an element of fantasy you two share? If you are comfortable with answering these questions I can respond. BLESSINGS!



  • What is being shown to me is that you may be living in a bit of a dream world or in a fantasy of your own making. Grounding is coming through very, very, very clearly. I don't think this talk tonight is going to go the way you want it to - his "surprise" at your stating where you wanted the relationship to go should be an indicator to you. I think this will end in a bit of a "time out" for the two of you as your wants and needs in this relatinship are going to collide. If you want, I can do a reading on why you have attracted this situation or what the lesson is supposed to be in this for you.



  • Responding to Blmoon (and THANK YOU for the reply!):

    He and I also work together very closely. We share a 'vision' that we are bringing into reality which is a non-profit that raises funds for various charity organizations via a music project. We live close by, but because of our busy lives, we do communicate a lot via text and e-mail. However, we do make time for one another as a priority. I put myself out there regarding this topic via e-mail. I am looking for insight from outside myself on this matter as I am being led to do so. Why, I am not sure, but here I am. Perhaps someone has something to offer that I am not seeing. From what I have experienced and the very open discussions we've had, he has never told me he questions his sexuality, however... (and this may be 'something'), he and I have not been intimate sexually for many months. I brought this up to him and we discussed at length. He said that this is not something that is important to him right now as he can 'take or leave it'. I believe it to be a part of his spiritual journey and I have told him that I will honor that. I brought the matter up as I wanted to know if it had to do with 'me' and I believe it is clearly something that I should not take personally. I hope this additional information helps. Would love to hear what you have to say and am open to answering any other questions you may have.

    Love & light... and my gratitude.

    J~

    Some of the impressions I am seeing do not make sense with what you are describing. You are in a very "vulnerable" place and can be easily hurt right now---and it explains despite your complete feelings of peace and faith you are needing insight or validation here. I usually do not need to ask questions first but for some reason spirit insists I ask and then offer clarity. Are you two normally "long distance"? or live close but mostly online together? A deep intimacy under a big safety net of some kind of distance? Has this man ever expressed confusion to you about his s exuality? Is there an element of fantasy you two share? If you are comfortable with answering these questions I can respond. BLESSINGS!



  • Responding to Watergirl18 (and THANK YOU for your reply as well!):

    I would love a reading, if you'd be willing to do one. I believe his response of 'surprise' is because I have always somewhat danced around the potential long-term relationship dialogue and never fully put myself out there. As I'm sure you can imagine, it is a quite vulnerable station to be in. But here I am. I believe that anything is possible, but I also know everyone has their own free will. I believe tonight will be beautiful, regardless as to the outcome.

    I am a dreamer, but don't believe I ive in a dream-world. I am in the process of seeing dreams come to life via my work and the relationships I have and really, am surrounded by love and wonder. I am very blessed. I'd also like to say that even if he and I are not on the same page right now regarding our relationship going to another 'level', I am and will always be grateful for the lessons already learned over the past year and am wide open to what it is I am to learn in the future.

    Love & light... and gratitude!

    J~



  • OK---I feel better now feeling your state of being. You are not such an open door and altho you asked--and wanted answers you had a protective aura around you--as if you reach out with one hand but hold the other tight agaist your heart area. There are two kinds of people who do this and one is frail so there is caution in bursting their bubbles or touching them inside--they contradict but do not get it. For another they can be protective but not nessasarily closed off. Spirit shows me you are on the fence--a part of you knows the next step would take you out of your comfort zone and you sense but do not say it to yourself that you suspect something hidden. You know that the kind of attraction--the pull--can blind you if you choose to ignore nagging questions. This is about the balance of heaven and earth and right now that is universal as of 11-11-11. The mind body spirit connection is challanging as never befor.

    First, Spirit says "you know". When you are most out of reach of his energy and the mind goes hmm---something's not right or you just think to yourself I wonder if? Spirit says listen to your inner stirrings. Not your fears but the questions. The s exual issue IS a big deal. And didn't you say he is a Scorpio?!!! I didn't know how receptive you would be but my impression is he is struggling VERY MUCH with his oriantation. The complication is that two issues cross-over. His fear wound of intimacy is so strong that he has difficulty getting close--and in that respect--the guarded energy mirrors your own. I suspect he has had male fantasys at the least and some encounters but he excuses them as being just s ex. There is something safe he finds in you--you do not push or ask too much--you are willing to just enjoy as is. But this can only last so long as you need more and are starting to cross that line. He is going to handle this purely on an emotional reaction level so expect some confusion as he says one thing but has to do another as he is just too much at war inside himself. Meaning he could say one thing--want closeness but then his actions will say distance and he could hide. Examine all excuses carefully is the big message I'm hearing. Excuses should not just make sense to the heart but include your other power scources for seeing through lies--and remember people often lie to themselves first and do not even see the lie. You can help if in the denial department. Right now, you should know he is not so celibate but that his encounters are meaningless and purely physical so he honestly feels they do not matter or even exhist. The caution here is under what's hidden. This is the time to excercise your ability to keep head and heart in balance and NOT get lead blindly by the needs of the heart. The feelings of being a help to him are real on a spiritual level as if you do open your heart AND use your head by not letting him hide what he denies that you could help him to bring his shadow to the light and he can teach YOU to trust your other hand to open wide to receive because you know you can keep yourself safe.Speak your truth! BLESSINGS!



  • Blmoon ~ Thank you for the reply and for taking the time to do so. You make some interesting points and observations that I am paying attention to. I don't believe his 'struggles' (if they can be called that) with sexuality have anything to do with orientation and I don't believe he is seeking it outside of our relationship as I have taked to him about both. When he says he can 'take it or leave it' he also went on to say that no sexual experience can equal that of a spiritual connection. And this is something we explore in depth and at great lengths together presently in the form of shamanic journey. That has been the primary focus and requires our energy to be aligned. I do miss the sexual intimacy, but I too believe the spiritual connection cannot be paralleled at present. Perhaps in the future, we'll come back to that place but for now, exploration exists outside of the bedroom. I WILL stay sensitive to any form of shadow or undertone as I had not been doing so, so I thank you for opening up the dialogue in that regard. I do trust him, but as you said when one is in denial, they do not see their own truth and if I am to be a mirror, we need to see if anything is dimming the view. I am looking forward to his and my talk this evening and really, what will be will be. I will be open and will leave my expectations at the door, but never my hopes and dreams. Thank you once again.

    J~



  • He talks a good talk--most Scorpios do but he is hiding behind this shiny talk AS it's not one over the other--is it? A spritual connection is not something void of the s exuall. It's that distance thing that glares around your energy together. Sorry, but if he is attracted to you there is no monk like state that changes that energy--he either wants you or he doesn't. Use your head. This divide in the meaning of s exuality is exactly the message I picked up--he is involved in non intimate just s ex or NOTHING and instead of trying to figure out why he deludes himself in thinking it's no big deal and in fact he is choosing something more spiritual--unless he's a priest that's just smoke and mirrors. There is a reason he is not interested in intimicy s exually with you and you deserve an answer that makes sense. God gave us s exuality as a gift---that union IS A SPIRITUAL encounter when love is present. BUT Intimicy is required--being vulnerable and open to RECEIVE. If you can not fathom this message--that's ok---what is hidden Will reveal itself soon enought. It's all good--and you will be wiser. BLESSINGS!



  • He is a good and honest man and was letting me down gently, as of last night, our relationship has shifted to purely friendship. We are both looking for something that neither can give one another as it relates to a long term relationship. It is either there or it is not... and that for him is a deeper spiritual connection or a 'knowing' and for me, it is someone that is comfortable in a 'conventional' relationship. He cannot offer me that as he is a free spirit and I have no intention of changing who he is. He is like lightning in a jar and I am taking the lid off so that he can explode across the planet in brilliance. Thank you for trying to assist with the situation. And yes, when he was sexual, it was absolutely incredible. He will make some woman very, very happy. Now, it is up to me to let go... but I also have a green light to pursue what it is I am seeking without ever looking back to wonder 'what if'. Yes, painful and difficult, but the best for both of us. Blessings right back to you!

    J~


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