Hello Hanswolfgang



  • MsSunshine,

    So he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me? No.

    His intention was to push me away for good? No.

    Why didnt he just tell me he didnt want a relationship with me? Because of an event that entered his life quickly and unexpectedly.

    You can move into any direction. Don't have any idea to which road you are going to be attracted. Leave it completely to existence to take you wherever it wants. And again on each step is a crossroad. But the people have decided their route. They know where they are going to begin, what is going to be the middle, where they are going to end, and what is their purpose.



  • Well im not happy that hes with someone else, But i cant really do anything about it?

    Will i see him again? Is it all over with Jake & I?

    I love Jake & knew it instantly Ive never been so confident with anyone else & I still feel that. Im not waiting around for him, Ive been preoccupied as Ive got too much time on my hands. So If hes meant to be with me he will.

    Thanks Hans



  • MsSunshine,

    i cant really do anything about it? No.

    Will i see him again? No.

    Is it all over with Jake & I? Yes.

    Zana,

    and that´s why I write: on the other hand, sometimes you are filled with grace.



  • Hello Hans, its me again lol,

    Recently I decided to connect with different people & Ive been going out & having lots of fun & found new friendships. Ive been feeling great!

    I bumped into a guy that ive chatted to on & off for about 3 years, he asked me on a date & had a wonderful time. I lost my Son 9yrs ago (he was 5yo) & Geoff startled me when he revealed that his Nephew died the same way in the same year in a suburb near me. To me it was an OMG moment, serendipity? Geoff & I get along like a house on fire, he asked if Id like to go out again & I said I would as Im intrigued & genuinely like him, however, I dont feel "attracted" to him. I was startled when he tried to kiss me & didnt really reciprocate? I definitley would like to be his friend will he accept my friendship only at this stage? He initiates contact & I reply, I dont want to lead him on how do I manage this? Why do I feel as if Jake is close, still with me?



  • MsSunshine,

    serendipity? no.

    I was startled when he tried to kiss me & didnt really reciprocate? Yes.

    will he accept my friendship only at this stage? no.

    how do I manage this? by representing a link between him and yourself.

    Why do I feel as if Jake is close, still with me? Because he has established a solid family line as the patriarch of a wide network of family members.



  • Hans, I dont understand "Because he has established a solid family line as the patriarch of a wide network of family members" Jake did get back in touch since your last reply & questioned me regarding what I expect from him (via text) I told him that I love him & that Ive overcome many fears etc. We spent the weekend together including the kids his friends & Mum & had a great time. Today I was tidying up around his place and found an empty plastic bag w a receipt from a Lingerie store initially I was shocked but decided that as it was prior to us getting back together I had to get over it. When he came home I asked him about it & he was surprised & at first he accused me of snooping, which is 100% wrong. We didnt argue & we talked about it carefully, he assured me hes not seeing anyone else but me.However, I feel a little creeped out & feel a little vulnerable but maintained a smile & confidence when I eventually left him tonight. When I got home my minds wandering & im see sawing. Can you advise me on how to deal with this? Do I need to worry?

    Thankyou



  • MsSunshine,

    can you advise me on how to deal with this? No.

    Do I need to worry? No.

    Try hard and don´t listen to anybody. Be ready to do anything, or to drop it; these are the only alternatives.



  • Ok I wont bring it up again? I did say to him prior to finding the receipt that we dont have to talk about who or what weve been upto romantically since weve been apart as it only makes us feel uncomfortable. I told him I had dated but didnt give any details.

    I want him to want me, should I just let him initiate contact? Be less available to him?

    When he asked me what I expect from him I said (all via text) "Im in love with you, can you do it. Ive had a lot of time to think & no longer fear commitment" He replied "You almost had that, can I come & see you?" So he did but didnt want to talk about any of it but just said he wants us to start over new. Which I agreed to. I dont want to come across as NEEDY, by assisting him with the kids & helping around the house etc (he was working & I wasnt & this is just part of my nature to help) does he look at this as me being Needy so Unattractive? Have I done too much too soon? Am I looking like a fool to him?



  • MsSunshine,

    I wont bring it up again? Yes.

    I want him to want me, should I just let him initiate contact? No.

    Be less available to him? No.

    does he look at this as me being Needy so Unattractive? No.

    Have I done too much too soon? No.

    Am I looking like a fool to him? Yes (sorry!).



  • Hans,

    He says he loves me, does he?

    Im sorry are you saying that I should bring it up again?

    Why does he think Im a fool?

    How can I change his view of me?

    Is it his immaturity? because I have been so open about my feelings?

    Is he worth the effort?



  • MsSunshine,

    He says he loves me, does he? No.

    Im sorry are you saying that I should bring it up again? No.

    Why does he think Im a fool? Because you represent the dejected loser and there is a negative connotation. Because his focus is solely on winning his goals at any cost, you will eventually discover to your own dismay that the price of winning may not have been worth the reward.

    How can I change his view of me? You will need to make a regretful transition, as a likely result of the decisions you make.

    Is it his immaturity? No.

    because I have been so open about my feelings? no.

    Is he worth the effort? Yes.



  • How am I the dejected loser, We have both toed & froed?

    I dont feel like a loser, I feel strong.

    If I stay with him I will be disappointed?

    A regretful transition? By becoming submissive & losing myself?

    Why is he worth the effort?

    Why did he come back to me? Why does he hold on to me all night while we sleep?

    His Mother & I were chatting about the house hes renting, its horrible & dilapadated, his lease is up at the end of March& theyre asking for an increase in rent & its honestly not worth it, is he considering us moving in together then?

    Is it possible for us to have a happy relationship? What can I do to have happiness with him?



  • I will get sick of it and walk away?



  • Should I just take it all on face value, not over think things & continue to walk my own walk?

    Be confident in myself & not worry about what Jake or anyone else is thinking?

    Stay positive & happy in my demeanor, be true to myself?



  • MsSunshine,

    How am I the dejected loser: even if you are the callous winner, in any case, there is a negative connotation.

    We have both toed & froed? No.

    If I stay with him I will be disappointed? No.

    A regretful transition? No.

    By becoming submissive & losing myself? Yes.

    Why is he worth the effort? Because you have already encountered your inspiration and are about to undertake the journey of imagination and creativity to which the unconscious has impelled you.

    Why did he come back to me? Because he needs you to be on the same page.

    Why does he hold on to me all night while we sleep? Because of a lack of teamwork.

    is he considering us moving in together then? no.

    Is it possible for us to have a happy relationship? No.

    What can I do to have happiness with him? encouraging yourself that you have the ability to conquer any pain that comes your way.

    I will get sick of it: no

    and walk away? Yes.

    Should I just take it all on face value, not over think things & continue to walk my own walk? No.

    Be confident in myself & not worry about what Jake or anyone else is thinking? Yes.

    Stay positive & happy in my demeanor, be true to myself? No.

    So read well, if you really want to know what it means.



  • Well Jake is thinking about us moving in together. He mentioned moving in with me in a round about way after I offered to help him straighten out his house etc & i ,said I was ok with it but my house is far too small when we have all the kids together. I have noticed a lot of changes in him hes letting me see who he really is good & bad as if hes testing my love, again? Im not really deterred, I continue to talk openly with him even though he feels uncomfortable about it at first he does open up, a little at a time. He seems very down about his life at the moment as hes not happy with work & the business isnt moving along as he'd hoped. I think he would like my help & support but doesnt want to ask? He is so scared of becoming vulnerable & feeling not good enough? If I continue with my support & love will he gain confidence & have the type of relationship he told me he wants, best friends & lovers?

    Thanks Hans



  • MsSunshine,

    hes letting me see who he really is good & bad as if hes testing my love, again? no.

    I think he would like my help & support but doesnt want to ask? No.

    He is so scared of becoming vulnerable & feeling not good enough? Yes.

    If I continue with my support & love will he gain confidence & have the type of relationship he told me he wants, best friends & lovers? Yes.


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