I have been think of what forum to put this, i even asked Captain i got to inpatient.
I have tried to for so long, to me at end of the day you can have all help you want but its you who has to do it.
Its been real weird since that reading, i have been opening up to certain 2 family member's and my closest friend.
I need support to change my mental thinking and reactions.. to drink.
Like when im upset its the trigger.. im not in denial iv openly said i may need bit help.
I not been to the doctors yet, dont judge me
No judgment, Scully. It's just the urging that comes through from Spirit. This really is the key to all the things you are wanting in life, but feel they are elusive or out of reach. The things you are putting in your system are clouding your judgment and keeping you in the dark. Your soul is urging you to rise above this. You can do it, but you will need support. Take the first step toward that support....go to the doctor, look up support groups and go to a meeting, etc. No judgment from me or anyone else AND no shame from you. Just love yourself enough to move forward.
I have been really enjoying doing tarot and learning my Physic side, i have got into this awful habit of getting used to have drink to relax, to do and is a load of crap because i dont need it to relax, i want to relax normally.. i know its crazy . My first step was admitting to family member's i need help not done that before.
Is im not going to be able to do alone
I've said so much in strength and intent
My strength wavers with alcohol,
I dont want it any more,
it tells me.. at the end day you have to except and really want to make that change..whole heartily.
Sorry Nan live let you down x
no judgement scully - you have made a start and I am happy for you. Baby steps and no you cant do it alone yet get with AA or have your doctor recomend treatment. I will be praying for you and you will suceed just know it will be a long road but you can do it
Today i have been to the doctors.. had bloods done... Contacted people for counselling.
This is last thing i need to do start a complete fresh.
Scully it takes real strength to admit you have a problem and then even more to admit you need help. There are many that have gone b4 you and are just waiting for you to be open to their help.
Reach out to them in support groups and AA. They know and understand what you have accomplished getting to this point. They will have an idea about what you have to accomplish next. All changes are difficult and frightening but all start with the first step which you have taken.
Maybe at the end of the day you can write a little about how your day went the feelings you had about your meetings and the people you meet.
I work in a hospital and they have AA meetings at night. Often I am getting off work and walking to the parking lot with them. They appear happy , close they laugh and stop to have conversations with each other. It is clear they are there to support, befriend and assist each other.
I too will pray for you. You can do this. ABP
I bet you meet friends and people you can contact. Part of problem is controlling impulses esp. when under stress. No one judging you just glad to see you doing better.!!!
Wow well done scully! I for one am at the sideline cheering you on!
Good for you, Scully The first step is always the most difficult so you should be proud of yourself for finding the courage. Just keep focusing on putting one foot in front of the other and allow yourself to lean on those around you who are offering their support.
The first hardest is admitting you have tried to go alone and done a bit, but the devil keeps coming back.. and just admit yeah i need a bit of help here.. like i know your only one who can do it, but there's no shame in asking for help.. and the admitting to those who you dont feel judge you is great..
I have three main people who i just know are there.. as well as you guys.
I know my nan would say you not let me down.. just yourself, i hope she is smilimg now.
Scully, i feel it's important for you to identify WHY you drink. You say it's just to relax - but could it actually be to forget the bad things in your life, rather than deal with them? We all do that, in various ways.
Deferentially right.. i know a lot was from .. the feeling of not been loved or liked..if anything emotional went wrong in my life,, the bottle was easy thing...
As i said to when i spoke to the lady on phone book appointment.. i have lessoned it over the time.. but its still there as such mental habit lesser emotional.. over the year so i have lessoned it, but it there i want it done and understand more why.. hence why i think counselling the good choice for me as a individual.
That feeling of not being loved or liked comes from the inside - you have got to ignore the false 'message' that you got about yourself when you were young, from damaged people who just wanted to make others hurt like they were hurting. Scully, sit yourself down and make a list of all your good points - ask other people if you can't think of many. You'll find your good points far outweigh the bad. Then you can start liking and appreciating yourself more.
I will give you your first good point - compassion for others. I can feel that in you. And the desire to learn more is another good point.
That was how i used to feel,, im lookingLike i talk to you what happen at the back to see my triggers as i was feeling then.. as to now.
e and how i used to perceive love are all in the baggage, im letting go. I have drank at times a lot over the years my emotional used be stress trigger too, it has way lessoned.. my fear is my body just give me permentant ache to remind me enough is enouigh.. im waiting on results from blood tests.. liver count.
My head is in certain pattern i want need to change stop that.
Affirmations are a good way to change your thinking patterns. Say them out loud and write them down - pin them up where you can see them and be reminded of their message.
What's your thoughts now ..watergirl??
I wonder now how much of it is too much. I ask you this since myself I have start having a beer every night, and just like you I have it to get lost for a while. but I don't feel I can accept that I have a problem from drinking a beer every nights. there are nights I could skip. and I can do without it. its just that it relaxes me and makes feel lost after a stressful tens day- and emotional. but I don't feel addicted to it. still I wonder to know from you since you are admitting it as a problem, and maybe I am just too blind to see it. you should be proud taking this first step which is the hardest for people, and good luck ! U
Did you have a session with the counselor you spoke with over the phone? Have you tried to hook up with a support group yet?
Talking here on this forum is added support, as are adopting positive affirmations, but the type of thing you are dealing with requires more direct support if that makes sense. Through counseling and/or group support and the process of talking through your experience (as well as hearing others' experiences) you will uncover/discover what lies beneath. You took the first step -- time to take the second!
I have been in contact with sats.. im surprised i haven't had the mail im expecting from them to start.
Im waiting abd get little frustrated by this.. as i know that.