Looking for answers



  • Hi,

    I am new to this site, and i am need of desperate advise.. It is my cancer boyfriend(supposedly) we have been dating for 4 yrs and a few days ago he told me that his mother has been admitted to the hospital and when i asked him which hospital it is that he is going to.. he asked me why did i want to know .. i don't need to know.. and i said to him.. well i would like to come to meet you and give emotional support.. and he told me that he does not need my emotional support and he does not want me to come there and he is not going to tell me where the hospital is.. i got really upset and i started to ask him what is he hiding...and he said that it is the truth and i needed to trust him.. but i am having a gut feeling that he is not going to the hospital.. and when i insisted again.. he told me that he is breaking up with me because i do not trust him... now i am so heart broken and i have not called him since then and he has not called... uggghhh.. i hate this feeling.. please any one out there...any advise pls.



  • brokenheart2011

    I feel like your cancer boyfriend wants freedom and he now has it. You did not do anything wrong in asking where his mother was at , but his answer to you is unusual to say the least. Let him have his independence and in the meantime you need to begin to heal and go out and have some enjoyment with friends. You will not be alone so do not fret about that.

    There are many men that would find you attractive and want you by your side. It is up to you now to go out there and begin again.

    I do feel that you will have happiness this holiday season, so please look forward to being happy and sharing your wonderful giving heart with those that love you. You will receive your just reward for doing so.

    Shuabby



  • Hi Shuabby,

    Thanks for the awesome comments 🙂 It means a lot to me, what you said.. I am so down and disappointed and cannot do anything else.. I am so stuck on him and all i want to do is call him.. i feel so weak and vulnerable..uggghhhhh... i hate it.. but I have not call him and although i want to call badly.. i am not doing it.. cuz it hurts so much.. his actions are so disappointing... I am truly hurt and i have absolutely no energy at all to do anything... my feelings are so horrible now... but i will try to be strong... thanks

    Brokenheart.



  • Cancer guy can be so unpredicable probably he need to focus on his mum at the meantime. He simply dont have the mood to have any relationship right now because he is not ready for you to enter into the deeper part of his life yet. Cancerian male is not capable to handle crisis so they choose the best and easliest way out is to leave this relationship and for them to sort things out at the mean time he would like to left alone to sulk thing over.THey can be autistic disorder and very hard for them to express and share thing during crisis.



  • Hi,

    Thanks for your comments. I have been dating this guy for over 4 yrs and i feel like i am dragging along for these times.. he said that he wants to marry me but, yet he has never introduced me to his family and he has never given me his home telephone number and he said that i cannot call him on his cell phone once he gets home...he says it is all because of his parents that he has restrictions.. i am so tried of it and he knows it.. and still he does not let me in his life.. so about the mom in the hospital.. when i asked him in which hospital she is in.. he said that i do not need to know it.. so i told him that i can come to visit him there for emotional support and he said that he does not need any support and he will ask me for it when he needs it.. and that is what made me think he was lying to me. when i insisted to know in which hospital she was.. he told me that i did not trust him and that he wants to break up with me and then he just hung up the phone.. so hurt right now.



  • To me sound like he is not worthly for you and he is merely toying you in these 4 yrs ..and 4 yrs is definitely not short .. i could sense that he has some hidden agenda for preventing you visiting his mum.. i think brokenheart2011 hopefully you can move on and pls stop thinking about him and if he is genuine to you ..you wouldn't be so heartbroken already.



  • You've been dating this guy 4 years and you still haven't been given his home phone? He has not introduced you to his family, nor can you call his cell phone once he hits home? wanting to put this as gently as possible Has it ever occurred to you brokenhearted that your man is married, or at the very least in a committed relationship with another? These complaints you've listed are all classic textbook signs pointing towards a cheater. It's time for you to call in the Queen of Swords! She will help you to see the writing on the wall. The Queen of Swords is strong, has a mature intellect, is well respected and will help you to cut through any bull***t confusion this man has created in your life. You need her clarity. Study her, learn her...become her.



  • Thanks for the comments, I feel so betrayed.. but i am so much still in love with this guy... 4yrs is not easy for me throw away.. i miss him a lot.. and of course i can see what he is doing to me, but is so hard to give up, i have not called him and he has not called me.. I am so sad now.



  • Hi Shauby,

    Do You do any kind of readings? If you do can you pls do one for me? or if you can give me some insights on my broken relationship.. i know what you told me previously but i am so stuck on him right now.. my dob is aug 12,1973 and his is june 27 1979.

    Thanks

    BH



  • brokenheart2011

    You know sometimes we can't help who we fall in love with. They have something to teach us and when we learn what that is than we can either find complete fullfillment with them or release them filled with a greater inner knowledge of what we will move forward with.

    You are having a hard time releaseing this man, and I sense that you think you will be all alone if you do as there is something about him that you want to hold on to. Does he help you finanally? Do not worry if he does and you release him than you will find a way to fill your needs and also find a man that will be so much better for your self respect and inner being. Just know that better times are coming and believe that you have the strength to do whatever you need to lead you to love and happiness.

    Shuabby



  • Hi Shauby,

    Thanks for responding to me so quickly, I really appreciate it... what you said is making so much sense.. you are so right about it all.. i guess it is time to let go and find my own self rather than to be in the image of an mentally unstable man. there are days that i do feel good and then there are some days i wish i never had to deal with heartache.. I know that all i can do now is move on.. and i think that really i am not self confident at all and just hoping to hang on to something so toxic.. but honestly that relationship was drowning me slowly and could not seem to rise above.. I really appreciate your thoughts on this.. Thanks again.. please tell me the secret to speed up this hurt process 🙂

    brokenheart2011



  • move on. Next time you see him, kick him in the nuts. 🙂



  • Hi news14ng,

    Thanks for the blunt reply 🙂 i am really truly happy to hear this, and the fact is i really need to hear it because, i have been in so much denial and i have know that this behavior is so wrong but yet i still held on to it.. uggghhhh.!!!! i hated it so much, I have always realised it but again so naive about it all .. i made myself blind to it.. and you are so right and my friends and family that i spoke to about this .. has all told me the exact thing you told me.. but i am so hard headed.. but really appreciate this.. i am in the process of getting stronger. but of course sometimes falter.. I need to stand up for myself now.. and defintely be much stronger.. thanks so much, please give me more insights to keep me going.. this forum is helping me so much to get on faster recovery 🙂

    Thanks

    BH2011



  • This post is deleted!


  • Hi,

    wow! i must say, that is exactly what happened to me when you said "When I would cry or be upset over something he did that hurt me, he would twist it around so that I'd end up apologizing to him and feel guilty over being upset with him" omg! in the four years, I would be the one who would ALWAYS call him back.. but yeah i know that time will heal all.. and truthfully.. i am feeling much better, i think it is because, i do not have to put up with a lot of stuff that i did not like.. and yes, i have known for a long time that this is so wrong.. but yet i held on.. it is tuff letting go.. but i feel like a weight has been lifted off my head.. and for sure it has not been healthy.. don't know what the hell i was thinking 🙂

    He has not contacted me and i have no intentions of contacting him.. although it has been 3 weeks and yes, i do miss his company at times.. but i have not called cuz.. i don't want the manipulation to repeat itself...

    I really appreciate you taking the time to write me... it really helps and means a lot to me.. i do not have many friends or family to confide in.. so this is GREAT teraphy for me ...lol.. again thank you and anymore kind words of wisdom .. pls keep it coming for motivation.. God knows i need it.. 🙂


Log in to reply