Is everything going to work out?

  • I am male 23rd Feb 1979, I met a girl she is 17th Sept 1976, was just wondering if we are going to work out ok. This was long distance I am from Scotland she is from USA, we have been talking on line for some time, she left her husband and moved into a new apartment. However I broke her trust as she was being very distant to me and I thought something was wrong, I saw her cell phone records, and her ex and her have been sending texts a lot which I thought was odd, about 50 a day, everyday, but she tells me most are just about the kids, and she and him are getting on better in terms of they set differences aside and said they would remain friends, I still think thats odd behaviiour for an ex.

    Anyway we we still talk, she said I hurt her for not trusting her. Is there any future in this relationship, should i pursue it, or should I just move on.

  • I think she sounds like a mature woman to be able to place her differences aside in order to have a relatively okay relationship with her ex. You have to remember that when there are children involved, your husband/wife will always be a part of your life, no matter what your relationship status is. The fact that they can move forward without animosity shows signs of great maturity.

    Are you sure 50 a day though??? I do think that's a bit excessive, just be sure you know the facts before jumping to conclusions. Do you really want to date someone though that far away??? :S

  • How exactly were you able to see her cell phone records? Sounds like there was a violation of trust there. That being said, 50 a day (if that's not an exaggeration) is excessive and sounds like more than just keeping in touch about the kids.

    Long distance relationships are difficult - you never really get to know the whole person (just what they want you to know). Putting all the ex-husband stuff aside, having a "future" with this person would entail someone moving and the two of you are quite a distance apart and she has children involved so it would most likely be you who would have to move. And that would have to be done with a blind leap of faith that you really do know the "whole" person and not just the parts of her she wanted to reveal. Not sure that's a risk I would be willing to take unless I would want to make that move anyway - regardless of whether or not there was another person on the other end of the move.

  • Thanks for the replies, the texts were exactly as I said, 50+ everyday, every morning at 8am or so they would text, always replied straight away, they are supposed to be going through a divorce. I found it very odd that occasionally some evenings there were no texts and none the next mornings either, which made me believe they were sleeping together on those times, as every other day there was a routine.

    We are no longer talking, the distance would not have been a problem either I was with an american girl for 6 years previously, my job means I can move about easily. I am basically out her life, I did send her a nice letter, she wont have got that yet, but just a shame we could not have remained friends at the very least, as we did get on great, and you never know what the future holds. If she wants her ex back and if they are that's fine, however she should not have played with my emotions and feelings by not telling me the whole truth, I do think 50-100 texts is obsessive to an ex, everyday, I dont even text my best friends that much, however if she is going back, goodluck, cause she always told me he did nothing for her, let her make her own mistakes, she lost a really nice guy, her loss 😞

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