Having Trouble Moving On (Help, Captain? Anyone?!)



  • I wrote about this a few months ago, but it's still on-going for me. I had the love of an Aquarius male, and we all know how they are flighty. Our relationship definitely ended very recently, after months of push-me-pull-you from him. I have stopped writing him, calling, everything. The last thing I told him was that I hated him and that I felt that everything he ever told me was a lie. I know some people will string out relationships for whatever reason, but it just boggles my mind that he won't speak to me for weeks, and then out of nowhere he'll show back up saying he's changed and wants another chance. He swears he loves me but he's battling some addiction problems, so he pushes me away because he "can't handle the real world/love right now". This is the only answer he ever gives me. As much as I tell him and myself that everything was a lie, in my GUT I believe that his love is real and that it's still present. I've had psychics, readers, and past-life seers tell me the same thing: he and I are meant to be and I have to be patient; it may be a year or more before we end up together, but then it will be for life. As much as I'd like to believe all of this crap was worth it, and it will pay off in the end, I am starting to become bitter and cynical about love in general, thinking that he may have duped me and played me harder than anyone ever has.

    Please, Captain, or somebody, I need my energy removed from this because endless readings on myself are effecting the outcome, i know. Someone read for me and tell me what you see as THE TRUTH in this. I am suffering and need some answers, some conclusion, so perhaps I can move on or truly work on my patience. His b-day is Jan 25, 1976. (Mine, if it matters, Jan 11, 1982.)

    Thank you so much!!



  • You do not need patience, you need acceptance. The truth is he is not ready for a relationship - and he has told you this so listen. There is a reason why the 12-step programs for addictions have a rule about not being in a relationship during their recovery and for a year once they become clean. They need to focus on themselves and a relationship is a distraction from this. Maybe he does love you underneath it all, but you must accept that not all connections we feel are meant to be lasting relationships. You cannot help him or force him to overcome his addiction and be ready for a healthy relationship. Detach. Let go. You can do this with love instead of anger, but you must do it. Focus on what YOU need right now and realize that he cannot provide it. Be good to yourself.

    Blessings,

    Watergirl



  • Thank you, Watergirl. With all due respect to your kind advice, though, it's reading advice I was seeking, not necessarily relationship advice. I've got plenty of that. My acceptance and/or patience on the matter is fueled by the place this relationship has for me in the future, not right now.



  • That was a reading - not my personal advice or judgement. You just simply need to let go and move on. You asked for the truth. The truth is there is no future for this relationship. At least not as things stand right now. You can't control him - only yourself.


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