Captain or Watergirl? help?



  • I need your no nonsense and sensible advice. I know relationships are SUCH a boring and overdone topic yet they do bring about so many emotions. Here I am preaching to myself that nobody has the power to make or break my life yet i am feeling really anxious about the fact that I'll be back in the small town where I left my ex-boyfriend about two years ago to visit family for the holidays. I'll be there for a little over a month.

    Captain, you told me about a year and half ago that the man i'd marry is a cowboy. i didn't believe it because the man i had just left was a rancher ( so yes, a cowboy too) and at the time, i thought i'd never go back to that type of life. well, the truth is that I still love this man so much and realize thet i made a big boo boo in leaving him. Trust me, they were really silly reasons which i can see now. I would love to be back with him but know that he may be too hurt or too much water under the bridge for him to ever really consider a new start with me. We parted on good terms. The realtionship was great. We would have married each other if I had thought at the time I could live in a small town out in the boondocks and be a rancher's wife but I felt i needed to be back in the city. I had moved there straight from London so it was a big change at the time. Anyway, I would give anything to just go back and be with this man now as I've realized through sooo many different short term and awful relationships with self absorbed and untrustworthy men what a wonderful guy my ex is and what i let go. I'd live anywhere to be with him now and would be happy as I have realized it is the people and not the place that brings joy. I just don't know if he still feels the same love that I do or if he'd believe my sincerity.

    Ho do i get through this? I have to go. i will no doubt run into him but am thinking I should probably call him or send an e-mail at least to let him know I'm there and would like to see him. Any advice? Am i just seeting up for further heartcahe? Part of me wants to just cancel the trip but the other part wants to try and see what might happen and I'll never know unless i try. i just don't want to have a complete meltdown if i don't get the results i want. Although...i'm hurting anyway.

    If it helps at all I can tell birthdates.

    I'm October 1, 1974 and he's July 31, 1973. Only man i've ever considered spending the rest of my life with..

    How to get in the right mind set for whatever might happen? I may very well be told no. i realize that but the thought breaks my heart. it's a tough lesson to learn.

    Thanks

    xx

    Thoughts,, suggestions, advice??



  • Hey Stonyeye,

    Relationship questions are fine! Sorry - I just get frustrated from time to time with the people who constantly ask for advice about a relationship they are clinging to and won't let go....just keep asking as if the answer will change. You are not one of those people! I can do a reading tomorrow morning before I get my day started, but for now I have to ask -- have you kept in touch with him at all? Do you know if he is still single? Instead of getting ahead of yourself, why not just call him and let him know you are coming out and would like to see him to "catch up" while you are there? His response will most likely give you a very good sense of whether or not there is a possibility of rekindling the flame. AND, you will know now and not have to be all in a bundle about it from now until your visit 🙂



  • OK - I will do in depth tomorrow AM, but what I got for now was that you are worrying too much. Keep a happy and light attitude about it and don't expect things to go badly or get ahead of yourself. I think you will have a happy outcome (bearing in mind that sometimes Spirit considers resolving lingering karma as "happy"), but it will be something that will take some time to develop. So take it slow and try not to get caught up in expectations. For now, just call (no email - it's chicken s*hit and not personal enough) to reconnect. Let him know you are coming and that you would like to see him. Like I said, the what's next after that will be based on how he reacts to the call and whether or not he is involved with someone. Once again, I will go more in depth tomorrow...



  • Thanks Watergirl, I really appreciate your response for me. there have been some weird events around this one...

    So, this summer, it just hit me in the gut. Why in the world am I not with this man?? I've only attracted really self absorbed and dishonest men repeatedly since i left him and i realized how wonderful and what a rare find he really was. i knew he would never cheat on me ever when i was with him and i trusted him completely. i didn't know that this was such a rare trait. I finally thought, what am I doing??? So... I just sent an e-mail saying happy birthday as his birthday was the 31st of July. It took him about three weeks to write back. he said he was happy to hear from me and had thought of me a lot and was sorry that things didn't work out between us but he knew I hated it where he lived and he could never live in the city. i responded and asked him to call me. Well, this guy is a slow mover and he thinks things to death. I waited for a while and finally just called him. i told him my feelings and asked him if he would be open to trying again and that I would gladly move back to be with him. I did ask several times if he was involved with someone and he said no. I asked if he had been. he said yes and that it was pretty serious but he had not considered marriage with her. Anyway, he said he needed to think about it as i had hit him with a lot of surprising information. He called back later that night and said that he was happy to hear what I had said and was open to us talking further and that he would like to give it another shot.

    So.... i waited. Nothing. About two weeks later he texted me. He was working in a place that was out of cell range and could only text. He had seen that i had tried to call and in his text he told me that he had moved on and that he thought i had too. He did not share the same feelings anymore and that i could do better than him anyway. i should marry a rich guy and travel the world and then i could tell him all about it and be glad we didn't work out. He said he loved me and that he knew this wouldn't get me down so for him please don't let it. I was absolutely devestated and sad to think that he thought of me as someone who only wanted to be with someone for their finacial status. Also, our relationship was one of such honesty and love that I was sad he couldn't have at least waited to call and tell me over the phone.

    Strangely, out of the blue his sister called me about a day later. She had no idea that any of this interaction had taken place. She just wanted to call to say that she had missed me as we had been out of touch for so long. She was astonished when i told her that i would like to be back with her brother and she also was shocked that he did not tell me he had been with someone for about a year now. It seems to have started with him helping her out finacially and then more and more and more....She said that the woman had a history of abuse in many different ways, drugs and men and that she felt her brother was trapped in a situation in which he couldn't leave this woman as she depended on him so much. She thought that was why he said yes at first to me... because he loves me...and thought he could get out of the relationship but then felt guilty. She also said that she had seen him a few days after I sent my happy birthday e-mail to him and that he had cried his heart out saying that he felt so sorry for this woman he was with and he did not want to be alone but wasn't sure if he could marry her and just kept repeating that he felt so sorry for her. His sister also said that she knew there was something he was not telling her and believes it was my e-mail to him that brought on the conflict. She truly thinks he has dug a hole for himself and is such a good man that he doesn't want to destroy this woman who seems to need him so much.

    I couldn't believe he didn't tell me about the woman because i had asked several times to make sure he was NOT in a relationship before I even told him my feelings. he was emphaphatic that he was NOT. He still never told me he was with someone.

    His sister knows him very well obviously and said that she doesn't believe her brother will stay in the relationship as he is very reluctant to introduce her to his family and his 10 year old son does not like her and eventually he will get out but just doesn't know how to do so. His sister doesn't like this woman at all either. i don't know why. I don't really know this person so can't and won't judge. His sister said that she feels the only woman he was ever really in love with was me and that he had to send a text saying no becasue he couldn't say no in real life and also didnt know what else to do as he was in this situation that he feels stuck in. She thinks he doesn't want me to know about the woman. She stressed many times that when she has seen him he has NOT seemed happy and the relationship was full of fights and guilt.

    I am not in his head so i don't know what he is thinking and his sister has said that she wants to see us back together as that was the only time she had ever seen him be truly happy. She said she doesn't want to mention me to him because she's afraid of messing anything up....as this is a man who does not like to feel pushed!

    The last contact I made was to write him a letter and to tell him that i knew he was in a relationship and apologized because I never would have interfered had I known. I wrote the letter as though i assumed he was happy. i did tell him that I still loved him, hoped he was happy and if the relationship ever ended independently and if he was at all curious about being with me again that i would welcome a phone call. I did say that I would likely be in town over the holidays. This was sent about a month ago and I've heard nothing since.

    Sooo... i suppose i should take his silence as an answer but at the same time have recieved mixed up information from him and then also the information from his sister that I don't know if I should give up. This man thinks everything to death and moves very slowly. He is also very careful about his emotions and being hurt or hurting other people. I feel in my heart that if i still have such strong feelings that it has to be reciprocated in some way. We were very very serious. And i still don't understand why he didn't just tell me he was with someone and why he said he would like to try again and then suddenly changed his mind.

    That is why, i feel such anxiety about being there. I would like to see him so that he knows my sincerity . i would not ask for anything other than a chance to catch up and tell him i love him no matter what and that I wish things had been different but that I needed to go away to learn what was really important in life....but of course I am very afraid of him shutting me out and saying he never wants to go back. I personally would see it as a new start with a more mature mindset. But, if he truly doesn't feel the same way anymore then it doesn't really matter about the other woman. I just don't know how much of that text was him pushing me away because of this situation he is in or if he truly doesn't feel the same way for me. Part of me says to take him at his word but another part has a hard time believing he doesn't still carry some hope for us because of the first interaction i had with him over the phone and then the aditional information from his sister.

    I can't stress what a wonderful man he is and while I don't know why he didn't tell me about the other woman, I don't feel it was done to be dishonest.

    So..those are the days if my life! I'm sorry this so long. It's almost therapeutic to write it out. I don't know if I just need to let this go completely, wait, try to see him and look in his eyes to know the truth....or back away completely and try to move on. I have tried though and keep ending up with not very nice men so feel driven back to HIM.

    Thanks so much for reading all this. i know you get tons of requests like mine and I may be just totally fooling myself or deluded into thinking this might work out. But any words you might have would help. I need to know how to get through this visit without turning into a total wreck if he doesn't want to see me.

    Thanks again for responding and your offer to look into things. I'm just confused about what i should do .. or if i should even go as this could be a really really tough visit and I don't want to be upset while I'm visiting family and ruin their holiday.

    All the best and thanks again for reading my little soap opera. Those painful decisions that we make sometimes are very hard to live with.

    xx

    Se



  • PS. I re-read what you wrote above and ....Yes, I am worrying too much! 🙂 I'm trying to keep a very zen attitude about it all.. I guess that's why i'm writing. It's hard to feel calm and light hearted when I realize what an idiot I had been to let this man go and the past few months have been really difficult. maybe this was like a big purge or something. To finally leave the past behind? It's hard to do so when i know i'll be there in a month and may be kicked in the gut again. it's a small town and one where you are very likely to run tinto just about anyone you don't want to run into!



  • Hello Stonyeye,

    OK, this was a tough one. First I will start with him. He genuinely loved you, but was also very hurt by your choosing to leave the relationship. So part of him was glad to hear from you, but there is another big part of him that does not trust that what you are saying now will not be fleeting. He also does have this other relationship and does feel a commitment there so after his first rush of excitement of hearing from you, prudence settled in. His bruised heart by you as well as this other relationship are both major blocks for the two of you reconnecting in any romantic and meaningful way.

    Now you 🙂 What's coming through is that you are distorting your view of this relationship - or the possibility of what could be - because of your past disappointments in love. Do you know what I mean? We all have a tendency when we seem to have a stream of failed relationships to go back to the last "good" one we had and idealize it in our mind. I'm not saying it wasn't a wonderful relationship - just that you might be going back to it as a security blanket in some way. It is time for you to release the belief (whether it's conscious or subconscious) that you will only continue to have difficult relationships or that there is some sort of hindrance to you having the relationship you so long for. The only hindrance is in your thoughts and mind-set. You may not get the result you are looking for with your ex and you may not have someone else as soon as you would like, but the best thing you can do right now is to carefully consider what you are "planting." You cannot sow your seeds in soil that has already been planted. Whether it is a happy relationship or not, this man is indeed involved with someone else. How he resolves the conflicts you have heard about are up to him and you cannot play a part in it. Sorry, I know that is tought to hear. So look for fresh, rich and unoccupied (LOL) soil to plant your seed! Remember that where our energy flows is what grows. If you put your energy into inserting yourself into a situation that already involves two people, then what you will get is the angst of being the third wheel.

    Also, please remember that you left for a reason. You needed time to get to know yourself and what you really want. I believe your attachment to this man is now a block to you creating the relationship you want. So all of this is happening now so that you can revisit and resolve this lingering karma. So go back home for your visit. Move back home if that's what will make you happy - just don't do it if you are moving back just for him. Make yourself and your happiness your primary responsibility. You can treat him with unconditional love and friendship, but approach this with caution - if seeing him puts you in "jeopardy" in any way then just be cordial and exit gracefully. What I am trying to say is if contacting him or trying to cultivate a friendship with him threatens your well-being in any way, then you need to detach until you are emotionally ready to truly not have any "conditions" to this love or desired outcomes from the contact. Safeguard your own health - mentally and emotionally. Do what is necessary to ensure your own independence and self-sufficiency. This is what will create the path to the harmonious relationship you seek.

    I believe you saw a mountain lion recently on one of your nature walks. I also pulled the Strength card - the woman taming the lion - as your advice. Strength is about patience, but more so about wisdom. Aligning your head with your heart. It also represents controlling our emotions and even base desires. The lion is raw passion, but she has tamed it. The lion can also represent that fight or flight response so it suggests the need to control our urges. This woman is feminine, but strong and graceful. You are too! Start to believe that about yourself. Believe that you can have the future you desire. Release your attachment to the past and any self-limiting beliefs that you will not find this love with someone else or that you are not worthy of it in some way.

    Enjoy your visit home. The environment, family and friends. And do your best to release that which you have no control over. It's like the serenity prayer....

    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

    Courage to change the things I can,

    And wisdom to know the difference.

    Blessings,

    Watergirl



  • Thank you so much Watergirl.

    It's not what I wanted to hear but you are right. I know I can't interfere in a relationship that's happening. Good or bad. I can't mess with it. Even asking to see him under the pretext of a friendly catch up would be wrong of me because as of now, my intentions wouldn't be for the right reasons. I like your description of planting in soil that's already been planted and I also know that regardless the other woman, this man might never trust me again unless I actually moved back BUT I'd only really be moving for him. And even then he may not love me again. Last night I was thinking of him and started to feel anger toward him and I don't know why. I wonder if that is what he feels toward me.

    I don't know about the visit to family. That town is so connected to him for me that I may not be able to be there. That sounds really selfish but I really don't want to ruin the holidays for my family if I'm a mess. Chances are that I'll see my ex at some point and I'm sure I could hold it together and walk away gracefully but it will HURT if he is distant with me or if I run into him with another woman. I may have to cancel because this is really painful to let go of and being in that town for a month with him so close by yet so far away so to speak will drive me nuts. Before I do though, I have a month so I will practice trying to detach and see how that goes. I'll work on removing him from my mind so i can make the visit and stay sane and not drive my family insane. I really don't want to be a downer for them.

    Yes, I can see where I am idealizing him. I do keep hoping that eventually he'll call me and waiting around for something that might never happen is holding me back. I agree. I'll try to move forward and let the past be the past. It's so hard. I like you serenity prayer and need to repeat that over and over. I'm crying right now because I know you are right. I have just developed this belief that all men are self absorbed jerks after my last year and half of terrible relationships. I remember you advised me to focus on the word DISCERNMENT. Well I have, and I am starting to get better at figuring out the genuine ones. Unfortunately, I just haven't met too many genuine ones lately. None that I feel an attraction toward anyway.

    Thank you for your honestly. I soo.. wanted to hear that he would take me back once he saw my sincerity and all would be well. 🙂 But no, I can't try and insert myself between two people who are together. Even if the relationship not good as I hear. I'm not there in their relationship so have no idea. Maybe he's madly in love? Point is, it's not my business anymore.

    I will listen to your advice and try to follow it. I'll also work on detaching so that I have the strength to make the visit and be ok.

    Thanks so much Watergirl. You told me what I kind of know anyway but just didn't want to accept. Sometimes we need a gentle "cyber slap" to get us back to reality and for that i really thank you. You delivered that in the most gentle and kind way.

    Lots of love and thanks again for taking the time and your gently delivery of something I didn't want to hear. It may take time but I'll be ok. 🙂

    XX

    SE



  • Stonyeye,

    Sorry you are hurting. I really did relate to your feelings when I did the reading and soooo wanted to give you a happy outcome. Really, the biggest part that came through was that you should not focus on the disappointments you have had recently in dating - a water sign came through in your recent past...pisces or cancer....these men can be very wishy-washy, changeable, moody and even crabby so you never know where you stand with them. Strength - the mountain lion - tells me that Spirit wants you to not give up and have courage. The man you are seeking will appear.

    I don't think you should give up your trip home for the holidays. The point is this man should not affect your decision one way or the other. I really feel like seeing him in person will help you resolve the karma. You also need to forgive yourself - I believe that's where your anger is coming from. Feels like you are beating yourself up for leaving him in the first place - that subconscious "punishment" might be why you have attracted a stream of men who have not treated you well or resulted in some sort of emotional punishment in a way. So go home! Enjoy your family and the holidays. Understand that you are strong enough to handle any disappointment that may occur with him and STILL be able to participate in the holiday spirit with friends and family. If you run into the ex, face him with courage and unconditional love (both for him and YOURSELF). Who knows? Maybe seeing you will be the impetus he needs to clean up his own relationship/life. And maybe you just need to see him to be able to accept what is and move on. I know this isn't exactly the best analogy for you, but sometimes we need to see the body to accept that someone has died.

    Be strong. Take care of yourself. Embrace your future.

    Blessings,

    Watergirl



  • Thank you Watergirl.

    You are so kind. I am pretty heartbroken. REALLY heartbroken to be honest..... but appreciate that you told me what you see. better that than false hopes. 🙂

    I will go and I'm working on detachment so I can be strong. I don't want to ruin anything for my family and I certainly don't want to see HIM and be a silly mess. I will always ALWAYS love him and maybe just focusing on that unconditional love will help.

    You would NOT believe the female friends I have right now in their late 30's who are having trouble finding a good man. I can't STAND watching it! These women are so KIND, honest, GORGEOUS, successful...extremely..... and they can't get a guy to go out with them more than once. It's really unbelievable.

    That's why I'm staring to feel sort of hopeless about my situation and kick myself repeatedly for leaving the great guy I did. If only I had known. I just didn't. TOUGH lesson.

    I'll work on being the mountain lion. 🙂 AND yes! I was with a Pisces about a month ago and this guy was so up and down. Wanting to marry me one minute and then "too busy to date and let's be friends" the next... I just couldn't handle it anymore..or rather I stopped caring anymore...i was so silly.....so I said "BYE now! " Ugh

    Lots of love to you. I do listen (or read and take in) what you write. It may take me a while to let it sink in but i do.

    Thank you so much dear Watergirl for your time and help. I wish i could repay you in some way. I put away my tarot cards a while ago. i just started feeling confused and frustrated by them when they had seemed so clear before! If I felt as though i could read with any accuracy anymore, I would happily try for you, if you wanted a reading.

    All the best and thanks for the help you provide to so many.

    xx

    SE



  • Hello Stonyeye,

    I have put my Tarot cards away as well -- too many people misinterpret them and/or use them to project their hopes or to hold onto something too tightly. I now use Oracle cards or nothing at all - just occasionally draw a card or two and they ALWAYS coincide with the oracle cards or intuitive insights I already gleaned.

    That Pisces guy - he came through as the impetus for "giving up" and going back to the ex. Don't give up hope. I have been thinking a lot about hope and false hopes lately. The key(s) are thus:

    1. The Law of Attraction. This can be tough to really "get." Whatever energy we are putting out there is what will come back to us. So if we neglect the lessons above, we will get more of what we don't want or what is not working for us. So lets say we are stuck in anxiety or fear or some sort of negative thinking. That is why we cannot manifest what we want. It actually pushes it away - turns it into the Law of Repelling. Let's say it's about love/romance. If we get stuck in the thought pattern that it will never work out or happen, then it won't. If we get stuck thinking that just one particular guy is what will make us happy or the only outcome we want, then we may neglect to see the guy that is standing right in front of us and who is the perfect manifestation of our desire. And it can be even more subtle than that - I have seen some people on this site who say they have released the desire for that specific person and yet they still focus all their energy on that person - sending them love, etc. That's great, but it is a very fine line between sending someone unconditional love and just still not letting go. So they haven't really let go and then wonder why someone new hasn't come along.

    2. Courage. When we get those inner promptings of what to do or where to go next, sometimes we get filled with anxiety, worry and/or fear. The Universe may help and guide us toward what we want, but ultimately we have to take action - be courageous - in order to manifest our dreams. Dreams are inspiration, but action is required or else it remains in our heads as an inspiration and not a physical manifestation. We must have confidence in ourselves (despite what others may say or how others may make us feel).

    3. Learn to let go. Letting go does not mean giving up it means releasing the need to control. The goal is to take the action steps given to us through our inner guidance - the things we can control - and then trusting in a positive outcome (releasing the desire to control that which we cannot.)

    4. Detachment. This is a reiteration of releasing the desire to control the things we cannot. It is also about releasing our desires for a SPECIFIC outcome. So pay attention to the signs adn inner guidance that tells you what next step to take, but do not get all wrapped up in the mechanics of how things will ultimately transpire or in the specific job, man, etc. that you want.

    5. Grace. In doing the above, the best way to achieve the release of fear, anxiety, the need to control, etc. is to "lose yourself" in something else. Getting out in nature, a creative activity, doing something charitable for others, and last but not least, simply practicing daily gratitude for what you DO have.

    I enjoy doing readings for people like you because you are truly honest with yourself and others and you use the readings you receive to gain wisdom about yourself and others, to push through something that is blocking you, to learn and grow and receive guidance in moving forward. I will always be happy to help as I am able so please do not hesitate to ask.

    That being said, I have been "phasing myself out" from this site this month so will only be popping in here and there. I am thinking about setting up a temporary email address for a few people such as yourself to be able to contact me. Let me know if you're interested!

    Blessings,

    WG



  • Oh - forgot one last point (and it's an important one!)...

    1. Learning to discern between emotions and intuition. I could write a book on this one 🙂 Soooo many people here confuse their emotions or desires for their intuition. That's how so many people get "stuck" holding on to false hopes or refusing to let go of situations that no longer serve them.


  • THANK YOU Watergirl!!

    I am going to print out the above and keep it for myself and may give it to a particular girlfriend of whom I'm thinking. She is just the kind person who you would see and think "wow. Sh'e got it ALL going for her". I just introduced her to someone I know...who is a very nice man and she really liked him. I was thinking that he would get down on his knees and thank his lucky stars that he got to meet her. No. He never called her again. I am astounded and to be honest..so is she! You would be too! This woman is amazing!!! In every way. Goodness and caring just radiates from her and although I know appearance doesn't really matter all that much when it comes to attraction, she is truly "supermodel" gorgeous and has worked really hard in life to achieve an incredible level of success in her business life. I want to kill this guy! He can't help it though. I guess if he doesn't feel it then then he just doesn't feel it. Anyway, I maybe will print this out for her to see. She's pretty clued in and would value what you have written and take it in.

    I would most definitely love to stay in touch through whatever you set up. Just let me know and I can send my e-mail. I'll just put dashes in between every letter so it's not blocked.

    Thank you very much for the offer and I'd be really happy to take you up on that should you decide to do so.

    Until then, thank you again for the words. I'm letting them sink in a day or two and then i'll print them out.

    All the best to you. You have helped so so many.

    Love,

    SE



  • Hey Stonyeye,

    This isn't a reading - not time for that today! - but is it possible that your friend's beauty and financial success is intimidating to men? I used to wonder why my friends seemed to always have men approach them wherever we went and nobody would approach me -- a few men told me later that I was intimidating (looks and career success). Men all seem to goggle over good looking women, but when faced with the opportunity to be involved with one, it can bring up their own insecurities. And career/financial success goes double. Men are socialy and biologically wired to be the "providers" and a woman that is further up the career ladder or makes more money can once again bring up those insecurities. She just needs to find someone strong enough for her!

    Working on my temporary site, but feel free to give me your address in the meantime 🙂



  • Yes, I've told her that too. She is starting to think there is something really wrong with her though and I keep telling her that she just needs a vey strong man. I feel so badly for her.

    I need to come up with an address that doesn't have my real name in it. Let me get that done and then i'll send 🙂 Thanks for your thoughts about my friend. It is what i suspect too but she's pretty darn spectacular. it would take a really amazing man to have the confidence to approach her and feel as though he could provide. She has IT ALL.. Who ever would have thought that would be a hinderance??? AND she's avctually really shy!



  • I'm having the same issue (about the address!). I'm not very tech-y, but am trying to set up a simple blog/web page as I have a free one with my wireless provider...



  • Stoneye, I just wanted to tell you that you have captured my heart with your openness!! Bless your heart! I feel for you.

    Yes, sometimes we do not make the right decisions, yet we are given grace and allowed to continue on inspite of ourselves!!

    May you find true love and peace and happiness!! You deserve it!

    And, good call leaving him and his new relationship alone. Simply bc you do not want to be a part of any bad karma or bad reaping what you have sown.....that is so hard and so difficult to decide.

    But what it tells me is this, yes, you truly loved him, bc you can walk away. Be proud of that!! Embrace that!! BC at the end of the day, you can rest with peace knowing what you did was right.

    I admire you so much!!

    Love & Light

    T7



  • Thank you Taurus7,

    I'm such a sap but your posts are always so sweet and caring and you brought tears to my eyes with your kindness.

    I'm not going to lie. I am seriously down and it's kind of a struggle to put one foot in front of the other right now. Not so brave or admirable really. I guess that's life though and those heart-wrenching lessons we must learn.

    Isn't it silly how we can convince ourselves that there is ONLY ONE person out here for us? I keep beating myself over letting this man go in the first place, causing him pain and then selfishly, on my end, having to live with that decision. It feels hopeless right now but I'll hang in there. Go on this visit and let happen what will happen. detachment and letting go is hard as I've always thought I'd end up back together with this man, Never easy to hear they don't feel the same.

    I hope you are doing well and if you ever have anything on your mind and could use a friend, please reach out. I'd love to be there for you if you.

    All the best to you an also to Watergirl.

    Love,

    SE

    PS. My friend who i mentioned above...well, the man who i set her up with who we both thought had blown her off... well he called and wants to see her gain! Yeah! 🙂



  • SE - Yes, our personal human behavior is very weird at times......I have had to look deep into myself,, well, I did not have to per say...but I did bc I wanted and needed my life to change. So, i can only look into myself.

    Oh how I have not liked what I have learned at all!! I have some serious work to do....I do.

    And yes, I can understand your heart break, it is so very sad when we see the reality in a situation and it does not match up to what we want it to be.

    I am here for you. I can so relate to what you are going through. Pour it out, get it out, and allow your heart to heal.


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