Astra Angel...confused and disappointed



  • Astra Angle, It looks like you are the one to turn to here. I have been reading the other threads and I am very impressed with you insight and compassion. I would very much appreciate your insights on my situation.

    I was dating a wonderful Aquarius man for about 6 months. it was all good. We got along great, had lots of fun, good physical relationship, nice connection with our friends and family etc. All signs were go for a continuation of the relationship. then all of a sudden, he calls it off. Says I am not the one he wants. Says he loves me but has to let me go. ays he knows he is all in his head but feels it is what he has to do. mean while he is crying and telling me ow hard it is to break up with the woman he loves. so we part, then I get an emial a couple of weeks later telling me how much he misses me, thinks about me etc. then nothing for about a month. he calls and wants to see me. More talk about how he misses me etc and then ends the evening with

    "I'll be in touch" I got one other text but nothing now for 4 weeks. What is going on?

    1. Will I hear from him again?

    2. If so, when?

    3. Is there any hope for this relationship?

    4. Does he have someone else?

    5. How is he really feeleing about me?

    6. What should I do now?

    Those are the basic questions I guess. Do I walk away or do I expect to hear from him again. And if not him, then what do you see coming up for me in terms of relationships? I hope those questions are not too broad. Any insight that you can give me will be very very much appreciated. It has been a very confusing couple of months.

    Thank you,

    sadsag



  • Hi sadsag

    Okay, let's take a look and see about figuring our what is going on... I will address your numbered questions first.

    1. Will I hear from him again?

    Six of Swords - YES

    2. If so, when?

    Two of Cups - I am going to say a week to two weeks

    3. Is there any hope for this relationship?

    TEN OF CUPS - YES YES YES

    4. Does he have someone else?

    Four of Swords and Five of Swords - NO

    5. How is he really feeleing about me?

    Page of Wands - Faith feelings, feelings of really wanting to be loyal to you, a close friend.

    6. What should I do now?

    The Moon, don't let your emotions run away with you, trust your intuitions and your heart, You are on the right path, being patient and calm through this.

    Seven of Coins. Stay focused on your own material life, finances, work, career, and let him sort his own laundry out.

    You asked:

    Do I walk away or do I expect to hear from him again?

    We already looked at that above, however this PAGE OF SWORDS says you will DEFINITELY be hearing from him soon 1-2 weeks it looks like.

    And if not him, then what do you see coming up for me in terms of relationships?

    I don't see anyone else any time soon. There is something trying to develop with him. He has his own issues he is trying to work through. Knight of Cups - I think he really really is wanting to commit to you and proceed with the union to marriage and he is scared. Nine of Swords. yes, he is tormented with thoughts of getting tied down to one person, he wants to have the whole world to play with and your path is one of commitment and focus on you alone, so he is struggling there. Typical guy thing.

    Ace of Swords. He'll sort it out and come to his senses. Be patient and sweet, pray for him and stay focused on your own material life as you are doing, (I can tell you have your act together so keep doing what you are doing) and matters look very positive for this to work out. That TEN CUPS was extremely strong YES LOVE energy over you two. Hang in there.

    Love and light

    astra



  • Astra,

    Thank you so much for the reading. You are right when you say he has his own stuff to work through. I can see that and now I think he can see it too. I don't think he did when we first got together. I don't think he was expecting to have any kind of deep feeelings for me. He admitted to being scared when I saw him the last time. I will take your advice and just keep doing what I am doing and see what happens. Thanks you again,

    Sadsag



  • PS Astra,

    You are right, it is typical guy stuff. And thanks for saying I have my act together. I don't know how you could tell that but you are correct, I say ever so humbly. You have a new and very grateful fan.

    sadsag



  • Astra,

    I so appreciated you reading for me last week. it gave me such hope but now I am having trouble keeping it alive. It just feels crazy to hope that this man who has not contacted my in 4 weeks still cares and still wants to see me. I saw him the other night. well I drove past him. he was turning onto a road that i was turning off of. I could see quite clearly that it was him because he was under a street light. I don't know if he could tell it was me. It was right near his house and he was clearly heading home. happily he was alone and going home before 10 on a Friday night πŸ˜‰

    So I have a few more questions.

    1. Did he see me?

    2. If so, what did it make him feel?

    3. Why has he not contacted me yet?

    4. Is he still struggling with his doubts and fears?

    5. Why can't I just let it go and move on?

    I have been lurking around and read your exchange with Danibo. It was very intersting. You do seem to find something positive in the cards all of the time. You are an optomist for sure. I was sorry to read that you are in the process of a divorce. It can be a very terrible experience. I twas for me. My ex left me after 23 years of marriage for another woman. Not an uncommon story of course but quite out of the blue and shcoking for me and our sons. Lee's wife left him unexpectedly as well and I know that he has not really dealt with all of his pain around that even though it has been a few years. I hope that you can get through it without too much pain. it is a life changing experience. Which just led me to a few more questions,

    1. Will I ever feel like I have totally put my divorce behind me? I feel ike I have but I have been told that i attract men who have not because I have not.

    2. Will I go on to find a happy and lasting relationship? You said you did not see anyone else on my horizon.

    3. What is the blockto completely letting go of the anger?

    4. Why do i fear or dislike the idea of being single forever so much?

    I don't know if anyone can really answer those questions but you might as well give it a try. I wish I had some skill that I could trade for you reading but i don't have one. I am happy to be an ear as you move through your own relationship process if you ever need one. Interesting that you are in Spokan, I am in Seattle.

    Thanks,

    sadsag



  • sadsag

    Okay, let's answer your questions first then I want to add a few comments after your questions to help point you in the right direction.

    1. Did he see me?

    No.

    3. Why has he not contacted me yet?

    Three of Pentacles. He's busy with his own material life. That is his focus right now.

    4. Is he still struggling with his doubts and fears?

    King of Cups. No, he is in a place where his emotions are contained and not really impacting him in any way. His focus is on his material life and day to day responsibilities and duties where it should be. He has discovered the secret that as long as you are working hard, and focused on bettering your life through wisdom and trust in the divine, that there is really no room for doubts and fear. He is still working on it as we all are.

    5. Why can't I just let it go and move on?

    Queen of Wands. Because you are under the illusion that life is something you can control and change through your own will and wish. You are learning to release this situation in love, without harboring pain about it. This is a process. That does not mean that something good can still develop between you, however that can't be your focus. Your preoccupation should be with your own material life, working hard, cultivate your own spiritual wisdom and understanding. That is all you will have to bring to a relationship of value in the future.

    Emotions are not the basis of any undertaking. The emotions you feel toward this person are evidence that you do share a connection in spirit, however trying to imagine, hope, wish, dream, visualize, entertain thoughts of you and him together and in love and bluebirds flying overhead... none of that will help you right now.

    The matter is totally in heaven's hands. You don't have to "move on", there is nothing to "move on" to. Simply maintain a calm, steady approach to your day to day life, and when you feel your emotions going into the red zone with him (like, WHY won't he call me!) stop yourself right there, affirm to heaven that the matter is in their hands, and wash yourself of it by saying a short prayer for him and then translate your emotional energy and worry into something productive, something practical and important that you are working on.

    Are you a creative person? Do whatever it is you love to do, that is a VITAL part of our being, much of our ills in relationships today are because the focus has been on sensual / physical pleasure (equating that with 'love') and with our emotions running wild... meanwhile our PRACTICAL lives using our true talents lie by the roadside not being used. That is way out of balance, we are supposed to all be so happy in our work of love, whatever that is.

    So I am getting that you have some gifts that you are not currently using.

    What is that sadsag? What are you into? Psychic work? Do your own readings? You like to write poetry? LIke to paint, sew, plant gardens, train puppies? There is something you are supposed to be doing in your life that brings deepest happiness and you are running from that and hoping that a relationship can replace that. A relationship will not help you until you are stable and secure in your own private and personal expression creatively.

    That is what I am getting I am preaching to myself too.

    Thanks for your comments on the divorce thing. It is the Lord's hands, he can sort it out.

    Your other questions...

    1. Will I ever feel like I have totally put my divorce behind me? I feel ike I have but I have been told that i attract men who have not because I have not.

    Page of Cups - looks very good, so yes, you are healing and this looks like it is pretty much "behind you" although there are still some memories and such that pop up occasionally... you have worked through most of all that, I wouldn't be concerned. The right people will come across your path.

    2. Will I go on to find a happy and lasting relationship? You said you did not see anyone else on my horizon.

    Eight of Swords and the Ace of Swords - you will once you develop some more and finally walk away from the eight sword mental prison that we imagine ourselves in sometimes. All is very good. You are a lot happier right now in love than you realize. All of these life experiences are designed to translate us away from material dependancies (physical aspects of life and relationship) and into spiritual, hidden, highest energy connections that we all have. The ACE of SWORDS is the most promising cards in the deck in terms of finding your way, your true way in spirit and truth, and it contains all hidden aspects of life, spiritual, emotional, intellectual. Then the physical (pentacles) follow from that quite naturally. This is the most positive, encouraging card one could possibly see to answer to the question.

    Still, you have a little work ahead as you learn that those swords you feel are imprisoning you... well, you put them there to learn your lessons.

    3. What is the blockto completely letting go of the anger?

    Nine of Swords - it is a healing process. You aren't going to wake up one day and sing, "Yippee! All the anger left me last night! I am finally free!"... no, it is a life process to realize that "whatever happened, happened for your growth or guidance" -Marcus Bach quote. There is nothing to be angry about. What he did, she did, said, didn't say. Whatever it was "back there" is something that was required to grow you (and me, all of us) up into heaven.

    Ascension isn't like a switch. You aren't depressed and angry one day and then resurrected the next into bliss and perfection of love and life. It is a growing, ladder climbing process that takes time. Once you understand that, the day to day emotional roller coaster begins to calm down and you can take life in stride.

    So the "blocks" as you put it fall away from you, inevitably. They ARE going away. Like a butterfly chrysalis, whatever you feel is hemming you in is simply your little chrysalis you spun around your life while you await rebirth. It is something we all do, as we transition from a lower consciousness into higher. A baby doesn't become an adult overnight. It is a growth process.

    Your awareness of these "blocks" are fading too... soon you won't be thinking in those terms anymore you will be so busy creating, singing, dancing, laughing and having fun with all the OTHER parts of life we have all overlooked (while we were chasing love), and then... love will come calling when you least expect it and it will be wonderful and a true blessing, and not something broken and painful that we have to "work at". Ugh. I weary of "working at" love, how about you? I would much rather be "working at" being an artist or a musician and put "love" on some back burner so far I can never even reach it. Let heaven bring it to me in the right time. It never shows up? Fine. I can't control life anyway. I dare heaven to bring a sweet love relationship to me! Until then, I am not going to deal with it. That should really be our attitude.

    4. Why do i fear or dislike the idea of being single forever so much?

    Eight of Swords again. This is a mental prison you have built for yourself. Asking the question itself is promoting the issue. Relax. Let it flow. Being "not single" is not going to answer all the other questions about life, and it will not help you mature spiritually. Address these other areas (like, being creative we talked about) and then your singleness will become "not single". As long as we are worrying about being single the energies are being diverted into a black hole of worry and that sucks positive purpose from our life.

    We are at a time in human history where the wheel is turning toward using our talents in their highest and beautiful way, and until we get that figured out, the relationship aspect is going nowhere.

    Okay, I hope that gives you something to think about. I hope I didn't sound too preachy, I grew up in the Baptist church so it comes out that way sometimes ha ha.

    The butterfly is what you are becoming... a "new creature"... although for a time you are experiencing the chrysalis like a little prison. It will pass.

    love and light

    astra

    (photo of butterlfy and chrysalis's courtesy of morgue file and hotblack)



  • Astra,

    Thank you for your insights. It does not sound preachy. It sounds right on. Thank you for reminding me of all of the things that I already know. I just forget sometimes when I am in this place of greif and doubt. but you are absolutley right. In fact, I woke up this morning and said much of the same stuff to myself. Enough already! No tears, no wondering, no longing, just get on with life. So that is what I have been doing today.

    And it is interesting that you chose the butterfly. My counselor did the same thing in our first meeting. She actually gave me a picture of the process and told me that I was in the part which is just gooey inside the chrysalis until it changes into the butterfly. The gooey part is never fun but you have to go through it.

    I am basically a very happy person and I think that is why I find these situations so difficult to deal with. I know that I have many blessing in this life and I say my prayers of gratittude every morning. This partiucular loss was difficult mostly because I did not see it coming. It came out of the blue. I had been gone for a week and while I was away he decided to end the relationship. Until that point there was no sign that he was even thinking it. In fact he told me that. So I was very unprepared to hear the words and it knocked me off my typcially steady feet. but I am getting steadier every day and I think I am finally begining to put it all behind me. Seeing him the other night just put me back a bit. i am happy to hear that you don't think he noticed that it was me. I don't want him to think that I am stalking him, because I certainly am not, but I have been waiting and as of today, that is over.

    Thank you again for taking the time to answer my questions and for reminding me of what is really important in my life. How quickly we can let our emotions run away with us. I appreciate your insight and your advice. I hope all goes well with your situation.

    Take care,

    a slightly happier sadsag



  • Don't rule out something still happening though, in love. I am still getting that with you.

    Seven of Cups. It is okay to desire love and tenderness and to see things still work out in our lives with anyone. It simply can't become a worrisome sort of situation.

    You can still have a relationship with your guy, even with him absent. Life may be trying to deepen the connection spiritually which requires that we be put apart for a time. Even the bible talks about husband and wife separating once in a while to cultivate their spiritual connection. They were still communicating with one another even though they were apart. I am wondering that this could be the situation here.

    Talk to him in the spirit. Like he is still there. Because he is. Our spirits are always with one another you know. Then soon, you might be surprised at something magical developing again, and the the pixie dust will fall around you and before you know it

    love is ringing the door bell. πŸ™‚



  • Astra,

    You just brought tears to my eyes. You are so kind and ever the optomist. I hope you are right in that love will come to me some day. I would still be happy if it was Lee but I am not holding my breath on that one. If he cared it seems to me like he would have contacted me by now. I do still communicate with him in my heart because there are still so many things and places in my life that make me think of hm. It is hard not to. I do pray for him and try to relase him to his hisghest good. When I meditate i send him loving kndness. That is about all I can do. I am not going to contact him. I am just trying to get on with my life.

    Thankfully I have a good job that keeps me busy during the day and friends to keep me company in the evening. Unfortuntaley my job is not very lucrative. I work for the schools and you know what that is like in Wa. state. They keep cutting our pay and now they are talking about making the school year shorter which is just a less obvious way of cutting our pay again. So working on creating a second income stream needs to be my focus right now. Perhaps if I stay busy with that my mind and heart can be free of all of this love stuff. Making my mortgage payment is after all a bit more improtant!

    I will try to keep an open heart and an open mind and perhaps some day i will see that pixi dust. πŸ˜‰

    Have a good day Astra

    sadsag



  • Astra,

    I do love reading your readings. I find them so interesting and amusing! You do have a way with words. I have been reading some of the ones you have done for others and they always make me smile. Even when you have something less than wonderful to say, you make it sound wonderful. That is a gift.

    Not much going on here in my life. I still have not heard from Lee and even though you are still optomistic I am not so much any more. I have done an energy scan on him though and do find that he still seems to have a heavy heart. I have found that I can be quite clairsentient in meditation. However that heavy heart could have to do with anything or anyone. I have no way of knowing if it is about me.

    I did meet an very nice man the other night. We had a lovely chat together but I don't see this going aywhere. he has a very young child and I am quite past that stage in my life. Perhaps we will continue to be friends though.

    I am trying to take you advice and work on my material world. I need to generate a new income stream and so I am sending out my resume today. the problem is I just don't want to work 2 jobs. Wah wah wah...

    Just thought I would pop in and say hi. Hope you have a good weekend. Ther emight be snow heading your direction. It has passed us over for the time being,

    sadsag



  • Astra,

    Here I am again. confused and unsure of what is happening and why. I went out with my friend last night. last weekend I was supposed to go to a beer tasting party with her but I could not go. Good thing that I did not as it turns out. Lee was there. As much as I would like to see him I am not sure that would have been a good time. anyway, he took her aside and made a point to tell her that he loves me but just can't see the realtionahip through. he is not dating any one, he is depressed and just working long hours to stay busy. She must have hung out with them for a bit because his friends also told her that he is depressed and they think he is crazy. They liked me and are not sure that he did the right thing. then his best friend got my friend's phone number, of course, because she is beautiful!

    So Astra I just don't get it. Why is he still depressed? If he does not want to be with me then what is his problem? If he is depressed and missing me then why not call? Do his friends encourage him to call and tell him he made a mistake? Why doesn't he listen? What is the problem that is holding him back? What is he afraid of or is it just that he really does not love me enough to be in this long term? Does he stii love his ex wife and want to be with her? They have been apart for several years now. It is so confusing. i understand when someone decides they don't love you, they leave and move on. the next thing you know they are dating someone else. i don't understand the " I love you but I can't be with you and I don't want to be with anyone esle thing sio I will just be depressed here without you'. It is crazy making. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should contact him or just wait. I am afraid to contact him because it will likely just be more rejection. I'm not sure I can take that, but again I am happy to hear that he is not dating anyone and that he is spending his nights alone just like I am. AARRAGHHH This is making me carzy.

    Thanks for listening.

    sadsag



  • Astra,

    You guys are lucky to be getting snow. We are getting rain, rain and more rain! It is pretty warm though so at least that part is nice. You guys get the cold weather over there.

    Anyway, i am still confused about Lee, of course. It seems I go back and forth every hour about what is happening. Last night my friends pretty much convinced me that our last meeting was really just a booty call and when I did not deliver that was the end for him. That is probably right except i can't help remembering the tears and how he told my other friend just last week how depressed he still is. ARRGGHH I need to just let it go and get on with my life but for some reason i just can't. any insight on that or his feelings? My last post had a few questions that I would not mind you looking at if you get a chance.

    Also you could look at our charts. I am 12/1/58 Sag with Geminie rising born in ohio at 4:45 pm. He is 1/27/62. Unfortunalty i do not know his time of birth only that he was born in San Francisco.

    I really need to get a grip on my emotions. i just do not understand men. it is beginning to look like he is just emotionally unavailable. I guess he kind of fits that pattern. Bad luck for me I guess, and anyone else he decides to date...

    Hope you are well.

    sadsag



  • Hey SadSag

    I want to quickly jump in here and offer something quick to try and get you some relief. I can tell you are stressed and confused about him, however please try to remember that regardless of what you are feeling, what is happening, whay he is doing/not doing, saying, not saying, regardless of what friends are saying/not saying, regardless..

    all is still working our beautifully in your life.

    Believe that and you are half way out of the woods. So take a moment and thank heaven that your life is still going according to plan, that all is working out for you in spite of what it looks like.

    What it 'looks like' is all subject to change. Your faith and trust is where the real action is. Life will match up with your faith and that is how we learn.

    Of course I know... you have all of these questions... about him! I will answer a few that seem most important right now. I think the real key here for you is trying to be compassionate toward him, he is acting this way because of something he is dealing with, trying to work through. You can help him by praying for him and wishing him love in the spirit that will work wonders.

    I will pull a few cards for you.

    1. What is going on with Lee's life right now? Why is he acting the way he is?

    Knight of Swords - he is really working hard to sort out something in his intellectual life. This man is a thinker and he is on a mission to understand himself and act accordingly, He is probably working toward establishing his own philosophy about life and that has him keeping his distance while he works through all that.

    2. Anything else we should know about him? Six of Wands. This man is not crazy, he is brilliant. He is devoting himself to something that is very important to him personally and the outside world will simply have to wait until he has worked this out.

    Three of Wands - This is another card showing great affirmation and creativity on a personal level, So this man is certainly on a mission to better himself and arrive at a place of profound stability and personal power. Then, he will be available for an intimate relationship. Until then you should give him his space and let him work through all of this in his own way.

    3. Anything else to know about you and him, that will help you right now?

    The Hanged Man - yeah, this is him, he is flipping upside down trying to see and understand life from a new point of view. He is feeling dizzy and disoriented as he tosses old understandings about life and love and learns to see from a new perspective. You need to let him hang and figure it out.

    4. Any other words of comfort and advice for sadsag right now?

    Four of Wands - everything will work out with him wonderfully, I wouldn't be concerned. Give him his space, you would do well to tune out all of the chatter from others, and seek a similar place of inner peace and calm, This is all in Heaven's hands, there are no problems. A lot of wands in this reading so spirit and creativity and dreams are strong forces.

    I know... you are next going to ask me "how long before he comes around and we can get back to us?"

    Oh, I struggle with timing questions. Okay, let's see...

    Knight of Wands - quicker that you might think. That is the best I can offer you, WANDS are the fastest suit so keep the faith sadsag!

    love and peace

    astra



  • Astra,

    Thank you again. I don't know why I am struggling with this so much. I know things will be the way they are supposed to be and it will all be okay. I think the issue for me is that i want them to be the way I want them to be and I just may not get what I want. It has happened before, beleive me! I am having real issues accepting this new realtiy that is my life and it goes beyond having Lee in it. I would love to have him in it but I know it is more than that. I also know that I don't want him in it until he has sorted out his own emotional mind. I know you are right that he is struggling with this.

    You are also right that he is brilliant and creative in other areas of his life. He is focusing on that right now too and I suspect he is just pushing the emotinal questions and discomfort aside. I guess that is where my lack of faith comes in. If he does that long enough I will just fade into the past. Again, I know that if that is how it goes then that is how it goes and how it is supposed to be. Accept, accept, accept! I am working on it I just panic from time to time. And here you are, in my life just to be a supportive and encouraging voice. And you do that well, not just for me but for many others here.

    Okay, I am taking a deep breath now and once again i will try to put the whole situationout of my mind. Thanks again for the reading. I love that you always turn up encouraging things. I have to say that every time i do one around this issue I also get encouraging cards and yet still I don't feel peace. I guess that is my issue to work on...

    Have awonderful holiday.

    sadsag



  • sadsag

    Well, you are doing great let me tell you. I for one am impressed. To feel that closeness and bond with someone, only to have your deepest desires seemingly thwarted - and yet to stand there with a smile on your face, your heart turned to heaven, singing as best as you can... well let me tell you, the angels stop whatever they are doing and are in awe.

    Yes, peace in these situations can be a challenge. It is like, we know, really know how it can be... with someone, in truest and deepest love. And because we 'know'... it becomes all the more painful when it doesn't appear to be happening.

    The thing is... and this is the really amazing part... is that it IS happening! Deep down, below the surface of life. Past all of the "what he did, what she did, didn't do, thinks, doesn't think...." past all of the outcomes and apparent frustrations... lives a heavenly land, called New Jerusalem, a land of sweetest perfection, where Peter Pan lives... where Tinkerbell flies around us, where angels are playing and laughing with us, like one fantastic family! That is the place we truly live in... and I cannot explain it, nor can I understand it, but I know it is as real as anything 'out there' that seems to be the immovable truth in our lives.

    It is for this very reason, that as you and I see something brighter... the Morning Star as the apostle Peter put it... and that star grows brighter and brighter... that this life we seem mired in, with all of its concerns and apparent heartbreaks, someone doesn't matter as much. And there, you and I, and so many on this earth, the Star Children I like to think of us, all come together in love and mutual affection.

    I can't explain the problems so many seem to face in relationships today... you want my opinion, a relationship between a girl and a boy should be the sweetest, simplest, most divine aspect of existence. We know that is true, should be true. We try so hard to find that. Entering into relationships only to have our hearts crushed for a variety of reasons... and we come away wondering, what in the world! THis is NOT how it is supposed to be! And we keep going... as you and I are doing.... for we are each made for a divine relationship with another, It is more than the physical, the sensual, it is more than 'doing things together', more than 'hanging out'. It is love true and sweet, deep and pure, an endless river of life flowing between two hearts, the man to the lady, and the lady back to the man...

    Many will say, "oh, forget it! That doesn't exist! It's just s e x and seeing movies and having kids and spending money and having a bunch of material things...." I say otherwise. I say that the fact that sadsag's heart is hurting, and my heart is hurting, and so many are hurting, is the very evidence itself that this divine, highest and truest love - of soul mates - does exist! The pain you feel, is the SIGN that you ARE in that relationship, and that is wonderful news!

    I believe that what you are experiencing IS the connection with your soul mate. I think "spirit mate" is a more accurate way of saying it. He is the "other side" of you.. your spiritual other half who you could not escape if you tried! A very "Holy Spirit" for you, perfect for you, created for you, who knows you better than you do. And in a million ways every day, as you keep chasing him, he reveals himself to you, little signs and odd moments, and laughter and tears sometimes... this is the way males and females play together.

    We are in fact children! And though you see Lee off in his own world, working through his issues... you know where I think he really is? Seated right beside you right now. Reading what I am typing as I type it... and as you read, it he is pointing our bits and pieces to you, saying, "Yeah, you see sadsag? Like he says, I am right here!"

    An angel is another way to think of your soul mate. Your angel is on a special mission sadsag. To help you ascend into his arms, first in spirit, then in flesh (or material). First the spirit, then the flesh as the scriptures say. So it is vital (and this is why he led you to the post, and to whatever other spiritual work you are doing), to learn of him, as an angel!

    He's just playing with you, darting off and saying to you, "I have my own issues! Sniff- sniff- I must be alone!" Meanwhile, he is still hanging around you and next thing you know you'll notice an ad in a magazine for Lee jeans... and you'll think, I really miss him! You see! He is doing all of this to make your heart grow fonder... it is what angels love to do!

    How far will he take it? Who knows! My angel seems determined to keep me in the freezer until h-e-double-el freezes over. (Okay darling, I am on to you, ha ha)... that is our true mate, a playful person who can dart around in the blink of an eye, who you can never leave, for you have always been together, heart and heart knit together. Who, more than anything in the whole universe, loves to be chased. Because that is when we know, love is very, very real. How long can the chase go on? I don't know, how long will the sun shine! πŸ™‚

    Oh, forgive me sadsag! Listen to me, all these flights of fancy! Heaven and angels... what poppy cock! I should be talking about more practical things! Like a great recipe for Thanksgiving!

    Here's one...

    Pumpkin Angel Food Cake with Creamy Ginger Filling

    Google that and you'll find a delish recipe for tomorrow!

    And I know a sweetest little angel girl who I wish with all of my heart, that I could sit down with and share that with, a lady of heaven, someone I care deeply about. I know you wish the same, with Lee.

    Well, I don't have all the answers, however I do know this much. You... and I... and everyone who never gave up on love, has someone special tomorrow, with them, regardless of whether or not we can see them. You... and I... and everyone who refuse to give up on our hearts, and this feeling deep inside... are on the right track.

    And tomorrow, you... and I... and many others... have something, very heavenly to be thankful for.

    True love. With someone who is heaven to you.

    love, and you have a wonderful thanksgiving SadSag, I will be thinking about you and wishing you every happiness and peace.

    Love,

    astra



  • Astra,

    I also wish that your lady would sit down beside you tomorrow and reconize the love that is in your heart and surely still in hers. My wish is that everyone who feels this kind of pain, because they have the capacity to feel that kind of love, has the oppertunity to sit down next to the person they love tomorrow and be thankful for the life we have been given. Be thankful for our ability to feel love and share it in the sweetest, purest way. I find it very sad that some people don't allow themselves to feel love.

    I hope that Lee and your lady feel our presence and our absence tomorrow as they sit down to give thanks for the gifts in their lives. I hope that the remember the gifts that they have been given and recognize, even if they don't feel it, the sadness at the loss of those gifts. I don't know what will happen with Lee and I or with you and your lady, but I do know that I will always be grateful that I am one of those people who feels loves.

    Astra I wish for you a day filled with peace and love.

    Sadsag



  • Astra,

    How are you? I have just been trying to sit back and relax about my life this last week. It feels much longer thant that though! Taking your advice and trying not to stress about stuff. I am not really very good at that but it is always good to practice.

    So the reason I am back here is that I heard from Lee last night. I was totally shocked beacuse I really never expected to hear form him again. He was out to a movie and could not get in. He was apparently alone, since he sent me a text to tell me he was thinking about me. I actually thought the text was from a friend that I had been texting with all day and answered as if it was her LOL! It was pretty funny since the message i wrote was totally not what I would have said to him. We had a pleasant enough exchange but made no plan to see each other. Sooooo...that is where you come in.

    Can you do another reading and tell me what is up? I am not so good at specific questions but I want to know where his head and heart are regarding us? What to expect next. What I should do etc. You know the regular kind of what is going on questions. I really appreciate your insights. They are so helpful.

    Hope all is well on your side of the mountains.

    sadsag



  • Hi Astra,

    You have not been around for a few days. Are you okay? Hopefully you are just taking a break and relaxing a bit. I know you get requests for lots of readings here. I can't imagine the number of hours you must spend helping other people out. I wish there was something I could do in return.

    In my last post I told you that I heard from Lee again, just like you said I would. Nothing since then though. It has not even been a week yet and still it feels like months. Funny how time drags and speeds up. Speaking of timing, I know you feel like timing is a difficult thing to read in the cards. if came across an article about it. I don’t know if it will help you but here is the link. Perhaps you have seen it before, i don't know but I thought it was interesting.

    I read your last post to Danibo. Just checking to see if she knew where you were. I was hoping that you mentioned going on a lovely vacation and taking a break from all of the stress. You did not  However I second her wishes that you find a lovely lady to eye your loneliness before the end of the year. Keep your eye out for mistletoe and stand under it.  I know that this can be a difficult time of year when there have been significant changes in your life. I have been there and still struggle with it some myself even though it has been years. I was really hoping to spend this holiday with Lee but it looks like that will not happen. Perhaps I should take some mistletoe to his house and stand under it. Why didn’t I think of that before ? πŸ˜‰ Anyway, I know that you have your faith to help you be strong and to see the joy in the season. I hope that you can spend your holiday surrounded by people you love and who can see the love in you.

    Take care,

    sadsag



  • Hi astra,

    It looks like you might be back. I hope all is well. I have missed reading your postiive and encouraging words. It has been over a week now and no word from lee, as usual. I'm still confused, but that is nothing new.

    Now I am heading off to Georgia. Looks like I will be spending my Christmas in the hospital. My brother has had a very massive stroke and is not expected to live. He has no family other than my sisters an I so we will be there. I don't know for how long. They tell us he is not in pain so that is good but his life will not be good if he survives. I am praying that God does what is right for him. I don't know if I will have access to a computer while I am gone. If not then have a very happy holiday. I can get an update reading on lee when I get back.

    love and light,

    sadsag



  • Astra,

    I am happy to see that you are back. I hope you had a good holiday and a restful break form the forum. You do seem to spend a lot of time here giving pf yourself. You deserved a break and I am glad that you took it for yourself.

    I am back form my trip to Georgia. My brother passed away. I did get to see him and he did know who we were so I am happy and grateful about that. Still am sad to lose him. He actually passed yesterday. I came home on Monday and at that time he was looking like he was getting better. My sister called me last night to let me know he had passed. I just happened to be out to dinner with Lee.

    Yep, you were right. I did hear from him again. Last night I just had to ask him though why he keeps doing this. He does not seem to understand how much it hurts me. he said he still cares about me, enjoys being with me, is attracted to me, blah, blah, blah. He said if he was gonna be in a relationship with any one it would be me but he i just not ready to be in one at all. Okay, fine, then leave me alone! That is pretty much what I told him. I just can't have him coming in and out of my life like this. It hurts me too much. So I think that is pretty much that. I told him to contact me if and when he figures out what he wants but I don't expect to ever hear from him again. It is very sad to me but we both have to do what we have to do. Personally I think he is crazy and making a big mistake but I can't do a thing about it. It is obvious to everyone but him that he loves me. He is just scared. I sure wish he would grow up.

    Well Astra, thanks for listening. I appreciate that you have been here to give me such supportive advice. I don't know what is next for me but I know it has to be better than this. I know that you are having your own struggles and i hope that things are improving for you. I hope that we both have a better New Year.

    sadsag