Trials and Tribulations



  • Bad times are our greatest teachers. We hate them, sure, and long for the good days to arrive - meanwhile as we wait for the sun to come out, let's make use of the 'down time', the shadows in our lives. If you are experiencing an awful or demanding situation, step back and try to see what it is showing you about yourself. Learning a lesson in itself turns a bad situation into a valuable and good experience. Like, if you have been sick, it may have given you time to catch up on the things at home you needed to do or pay more attention to your own needs and those of your loved ones. There's always an 'up side' to a downturn.

    Lately my mother has been pushing my buttons. I see now I was learning that you cannot help someone unless they are ready to be helped nor live their life for them, even if they are hurting themselves. I am learning more patience and can accept that I can only change myself.

    What are you learning from your 'trials and tribulations'?



  • I'm working on letting go of the past. Accepting that I have hurt people who I love through selfish or self absorbed behavior. Making amends and apologies. Forgiving myself and and figuring out what and who is really important in my life. Focusing on what I really want to be happy and not just leading the life that others expect of me. I've made a lot of decisions based on what I think others expect me to do rather than what my heart tells me. This has only led to heartache so I'm trying to find my path back to what I really wanted in the first place and anticipating that as a fresh start instead of looking at it as backtracking, I'm looking at it as following my true desires and approaching old situations with the realization that things may be changed but that is ok. It's still a new start with a new mindset. Also, that I can not control what other people do but I can control my reaction.



  • Well, first of all, my unemployment has given me the gift of being able to step in and babysit my new great niece whenever needed. I never would have had the time to do that before! And I seem to have a knack for calming her down and putting her to sleep when nobody else can 🙂

    Secondly - and this one is tougher - I learned today that my uncle died. He was a very special man. However, I have had to deal with the pain of learning that he had been in the hospital for the past few days and his death was imminent and I wasn't even aware of it. I mean how self-absorbed must I be? Quite the wake-up call. Although his passing is sad and will be incredibly difficult for my Aunt, it was actually a blessing as he had Alzheimer's and I believe she was spared the grief of having to watch him slowly decay. His parting gift to me was that wake-up call to me about self-absorption.

    Thanks, Captain.



  • I wouldn't call you self-absorbed, Watergirl. You have helped a lot of people here. And you cannot keep tabs on every single person in your life. If you had been meant to be by your uncle's side, spirit would have sent you a message about him. It's more important that we support and treat our loved ones well day-to-day than at the hour of their passing.



  • And wow, Stonyeye, that's a big chunk of learning!



  • Hmmm I have learned that relationships are not all peace and love, they need constant updating, rethinking and compromising, and that you can't change the other person, only yourself, so it is a chance to rid yourself of things you don't like. Like the realisation that my husband is a manipulator, well after research I discovered I do it too so I have stopped doing it and I am well able to fend off his attempts because I can recognise them for what they are. Also, I have made more friends here since cleaning up myself and when we talk about the subject of husbands there are others far worse off or in the same boat so it is also a help to know you are not alone and have an outlet. Then the world is only half as bad and the energy wasted with dark thoughts can be used to fill your day with sunshine. Well me and my not you and your.

    While I am at it, I am putting my eldest daughter in therapy so she can be morr assertive outside the home, and I had to fill in a questionnaire about my past. It took me a day to pick up the pen and put it down but I did and it felt good. Letting go of the past in baby steps.

    xP



  • Watergirl

    Thanks for helping out with your time here...you can read for complete strangers so if you did not sense anything about your uncle' conditon,the Captain is right that maybe spirit did not mean you to.

    Captain

    I keep getting stalled in my studies by circumstances and constant tribulations .I have been advsed to not always give up my time for others and I try but my learning from trials and tribulations,must be extremely slow:)



  • ps watergirl,

    you can calm your great niece coz you are an empath and babies are drawn to them?!



  • Surayma, what do you feel is holding you back or up at present?



  • Perhaps i should rewrite my trials and tribulations as the main thing I keep noticing is mind chatter that is distracting. I really need to learn how to calm my mind. Forge a path and not worry so much about the outcome. The worry about things not working the way i want them to is not necessary and not helpful. Having faith despite the tendency to try and over analyze and dissect (in my mind) all the possibilities and situations that are out of my control. I know results of efforts will only be seen with time. How to calm the mind and focus and relax into the present. Faith.



  • Captain ,at the moment my child is unwell so Im caught up in taking care of him.But always whenever I resume my studies , something happens to delay my work.usually it is related to family obligations.Then I myself am easily distracted perhaps because my work is difficult,However, I think Im also growing and learning things about myself and building some sort of discipline slowly.So right now my progress is better than the past years or past months.It is still not fast enough:(

    How are you doing?



  • Stonyeye, did some experience in your life teach you that you have to do everything for yourself or it might not get done or be done the wrong way? You seem to have a need to control every aspect of your life - or is it a lack of trust in others?



  • Suramya, as long as you feel you are still moving forward - even one step is progress.

    And I am very well, thanks! 🙂



  • No. I've just always had this churning anxious feeling and I'm trying to work through that and figure out the reason. I realize logically that I can't anticipate other's actions or events yet letting go at a deeper level of that need to control things is challenging. I've been afraid of making bad decisions and this has only started since I moved back o the US a few years ago. I don't know if it is age and the fear that I won't fulfill life goals? I believe I have to let that go though and go with the flow and have faith that life will carry me (us all) to a good place as long as we take action to help ourselves and then trust in the mysterious workings of the universe. I don't know. Just that feels right.

    I hadn't thought about lack of trust in others. This last year I have given my trust to some people too easily and I suppose my learning curve is to let go of those past hurts and and concentrate my energy on the people who have proven trustworthy.

    Thank you for your feedback and being direct with your questions and observations. It helps me to think about life in a different way.



  • Thanks Captain!



  • Stonyeye

    Just wanted to remind you of your power.You have read accuratelyfor others in the past and are quite capable of growing through introspection.as for trusting oo easily, I think that comes with empath territory.Maybe you could try shielding yourself in a bubbble of light, with the intent tolet the highest good come into your life and auric field.Or you could try wearing a clear quartz.Or both for a few days.

    I feel you are growing and maybe that hurts right now, but maybe itsclearing the air for better things to come to you.Also ,don't be so hard on yourself..we all make mistakes am

    nd sooner or later learn to move on to better patterns.take care

    Love and Light



  • Suramya, You are so kind. thanks for your words. Also, I have a bowl full of rocks and crystals that i find. Lately, I keep picking out the clear quartz and carry it around for a while when I'm feeling edgy....funny you mentioned just that.

    Also, are you in school right now...your studies? Do you mind my asking what you are studying? I'm back for a masters in education. I can relate to what you described above! I guess as Captain says, one foot in front of the other, it's still learning and building. I don't know what you are working toward but I hope things clear up so you can continue. Also, I hope your son feels better.

    Love,

    SE



  • Hi stonyeye I have the same indecision thing but guess what? Today I decided to use an opportunity and put my name on the dotted line and guess what the world did not fall apart and neither did I!!!

    xPaddi



  • Hey, maybe all these trials and tribulations will get easier after 11th November. Not long to go now!



  • Paddifluff!!!

    🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 I don't know how else to say it!!

    Lots of love.

    xx


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