New Relationship



  • I just got in a new relationship with a guy who is a cancer like me. We get along very well and we have sooo much in common and our chemistry is great.We have a long distance relationship and we met over the internet. I wasn't looking to meet anyone over the internet, it just happened. When we started talking we clicked instantly. The thing is we haven't met yet, we've just talked over the phone with each other( we talk all the time). I really look forward to meeting him but i'm very nervous too. I feel that he won't be attractive to me when he meets me. I don't know why i feel this way but i do, i guess because we haven't met physically before we got in the relationship, but i'm not sure. What can i do to get over this and has anyone else been in this kind of situation before. Am i over reacting and putting too much thought in to this?



  • Keep on the friendship level. That way no one will be surprised. Get a picture. These situations are very uncomfortable. Don't go into with preconceived thoughts because you haven't met.



  • Hi Unique. How great you met someone new! So, you have a nice start to a friendship via the web, now you will see how you both are when you're together. No need to be too nervous, right? Right now, he's just a guy and anything else remains to be seen. In this way, you stay in the present.

    Make that date!

    Blessings,

    Ahliyah



  • I think those would be nromal reactions for anyone, some people want to be connected mentally and physically....if u feel that connected to him after the fact u see him the answer should be simple.....



  • It's realistic to have reservations. I don't think that you can truly get to fully know a person until you have spent time together 'in the flesh'. It is so easy to not be truly 'yourself' on the Internet too. Even if you're not intending to be deceptive.

    Your personal insecurites probably aren't doing you a world of good though. it does sound like you are off to a good start with this relationship. You enjoy each other's company and opinions even without the 'physical' element. You can sometimes learn more about what a person's really like by writing rather than being face-to-face because you don't have the distraction of the physical side of a relationship.

    I say ride it out and see where it goes. Try to put aside your insecurites and feelings of inadequecies. Remember he probably has these feelings too. But do keep a perspective on things. On the Internet, a person is who they envision themselves as. Generally more who they want themselves to be. Getting to know a person is also getting to know their flaws. We all have them. On the Internet, this person is what you envision him to be. Which is generally what you want him to be, which is generally flawless. That's not realistic.

    But then again, in a relationship you are hoping to find love. Love is not about what's realistic. Love is about beauty, living, and being. Love is about everything, and of feeling no flaws. So what do I know? I wish I were in love. It is the most wonderful feeling...

    I've never done it yet, but I''ve got friends who meet people and date over the Internet. It seems to be just as 'hit-or-miss' as dating in the traditional way. As with everything else, time will tell whether it's going to last or not.



  • Heloe there.

    I am in a similar situation. I met this guy over the internet last summer, and we've been "together" for almost a year now. I used to talk to him everyday, but this summer we have both been busy. We both have seen each other on webcam, and we were intending to meet this summer, but I dont think it will work out. I'm almost glad that hes not coming here to see me. I guess I'm just nervous that he wont feel attracted to me. If he doesnt like my personality then..oh well. :]

    I think you should keep being just friends and see what happens. You never know. Something good might come out of this. But dont get too attached. You may just end up getting hurt over something small. Like for example, missing talking to him. I know how this feels, and I'm working on getting over it ^^; hehe. It makes me feel very childish, even though im still just a kid at heart :} And to answer your question....yes I think you're putting too much thought into this. 🙂 Not matter how much you like him, and how amazing he may seem to be, he's not worth getting confused and nervous over. You dont really know him yet. Focus on other things, such as real life friends who DO love you.


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