Am I a dope?

  • ...for I still loving my husband so much. He came back from Afghanistan today and won't talk to me at all. He is in a bad mental place and I know that the man that loves me is in there somewhere. Is there any hope? Does he love me? Do I wait for him to get help?

  • J3nnyar,

    When a man comes back from war they need time to heal and perhaps just to be quiet for awhile. I don't know what it is that you expect from him and if you are asking him questions that he just does not want to answer for awhile if ever as to what he went through in Afghanistan. Please respect his wishes in regards to needing his space and time to heal. If he has bad dreams or goes into a deep depression than I would hope that family would suggest for him to seek professional help.

    Do loving things for him and show your love in gentle, kind ways ( this is what spirit is telling me ) do things you both enjoyed before and find some new activities to do together that you both enjoy. Find a church and attend as this will help him to have faith that he stood strong for his country and did what he had to do , so that the american people could keep our freedom. I personally would like to give him a heart felt THANK YOU.


  • Thank you Shuabby, unfortunately he has to go back. He works there as a contractor. I try to be gentle knowing that he has seen terrible things but part of me is angry with his trying to leave me. I want so much to see just a glimmer of my Loving husband in there. He thinks he wants a divorce. Classic symptom of PTSD is detachment from loved ones. He says very hurtful things to try to get me to leave him. I just need a hopeful sign to hold on to. I know the things he does are coming from a bad place so I try not to believe them or take them to heart. He needs help and is also an atheist. I pray for him every day. I did give it over to god but with his arrival home I am reaching out for some strength. Thank you very much.

  • J3nnyar,

    Since he says very hurtful things to you than I would say that he needs to be alone PTSD is something that needs to be dealt with and if he does not believe in God than he is still loved by God as we all are. You have prayed and ask for strength, in this case it may be the strength to let go and walk away from a man that no longer has a heart attachment to you and the life you had together. Have you been together 3-5 yrs? Do not stay and take abuse as a means to hope that he will be the same man that you knew before, he won't be as his life course was altered and he now has to deal with what disturbs his soul which is his mine will and emotions. I feel you are a social person and will meet another man if you so desire that will quickly make you understand that it was best to sperate from your husband and step into another type of life with this another man.


  • Shuabby

    Sometimes it sounds easy to do those things, but we have been together for 30 years. He has a disease and an illness. If he had cancer I would support and stick by him. I am praying that he gets help. PTSD doesn't mean that you are lost forever. I am praying for a sign of hope.

    I am getting postive cards for a better relationship or new beginning to an old relationship when I draw cards. Only time will tell I guess. I have faith in God that he will show him the light.



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