My Elusive Gemini Man



  • I am reaching out to any Gemini males out there! PLEASE explain yourselves to me! I am a Scorpio woman involved with a very confusing and elusive Gemini man right now. I know our signs are very different, but we do connect in a very meaningful way, most of the time. Then Poof! he's stealing away in the night back to his solitary existence. I am confident that he will never meet another woman like me again, but if he doesn't figure it out soon, it's Hasta la Vista Baby! I know, don't be too pushy or needy, I'm not. It just seems like we're playing some sort of game most of the time. I guess I am attracted to the challenge of trying to decipher him, but Scorpios want a commitment before we will truly let you into our lives. If we don't understand you, we don't want to be bothered with you. So any insights?



  • i do understand your struggle bcuz im in a relationship with a gemini but let me tell you gemini males can be very shallow ppl meaning what feels good at the moment is only at the moment and from my understanding scorpio's are more in touch..they too love the moment but they must know tht the moment will last and gemini's cant commit becuz they feel tht their freedom will be at risk...they must feel free at all times bcuz thts just their nature until life slows them down. the best thing u can do is let them be themsleves completely if you can stand to put up with the constant "movement" but if it is jus to much to handle you should leave it alone bcuz the relationship will only make one or both of you repress true relationship qualities



  • Thanks for posting elegantbeauty! It is obvious that all Gemini men are the same. Damn! Why did I have to attract one? I was married to an Aquarius for 13 years, and lost him last August quite suddenly. I always knew where I stood with him. Two men have come into my life since, and both had fears of commitment. (The other was a fellow Scorpio) What is it with these men who are drawn to me and my warm loving nature, who seem to just want their cake and eat it too? It seems quite cold and harsh for them to get involved with someone who has suffered such a major loss, and not be able to follow through with their feelings. I just don't understand men in general, I guess.

    I know that it's probably best for me to take things slow anyway, but life is short! I am 44, he is 41, and we are not kids anymore! He really should know what he wants by now. Plus, my little son needs a good man in his life. He knew what he was getting into, and yet he still proceeded with what appeared to be an open heart. Now he's hemming and hawing about what he's really feeling for me. He's just going to have to make a decision, and soon, or he will lose out on the best opportunity of his life...



  • Thanks for some insight into the Gemini male psyche. As you've stated they definitely need to have their sense of "freedom" and movement. What's up with that? 🙂



  • Speaking as an older Gemini male : ) ...

    I've always been particularly attracted to Scorpio ladies, but never actually been able to get together with one : ( ... I've had countless really invigorating discussions with them, there seems to be something almost automatic about having completely opposite opinions on just about every subject under the sun but at the same time being really attracted to and sparked up by the personality behind those opinions!

    Sadly, you will never be able to pin any true Gemini down in the way you seem to wish, our whole psyche is in a constant state of flux, switching restlessly from north to south and east to west and back again in the flutter of a butterfly's wings...

    So all I can say is enjoy the moments while you can, but if you try to pin us down, then, just like a butterfly pierced with a pin, we will wither when we can no longer fly : ( ...

    It's just us, we couldn't help it even if we wanted to...



  • That sounds very familiar. I'm involved with a Gemini . He does the same thing.

    I'm a Libra and tend to be very patient and undemanding. I like my freedom almost as much as he does. I don't kick up a fuss when he pulls back. That alone seems to keep him coming back.

    He can't figure me out and it drives him crazy sometimes. I can do things he doesn't expect ; so he watches and waits for the next thing I do because he knows if he waits long enough I'll do something unexpected that perks his interest up . You have to keep their mind engaged because they do tend to get bored easily. Progress with a Gemini tends to be slow. We've been involved for almost 6 months and I'm just beginning to make a little progress. I let him have his space when he needs it. If I give him to much space he misses me. He works away all week and has started cutting his work week down from 5 days to 4 so he can spend more time with me. Geminis commit when they are ready and not before. At least I am never bored with my Gemini. His little quirks are very interesting and he can be alot of fun. I love the Gemini sense of humor. I don't know if your Gemini does this but when mine thinks I'm losing interest in him he tries his best to make me jealous and when I don't respond to the effort he is puzzled. I enjoy sitting back and watching his performance. He is the one putting out the effort then at least til he figures out he's just entertaining me.

    Don't worry, he's interested in you, just give him his space and watch how quickly he comes looking you. Don't ignore him but don't rush to him either. Keep him quessing, he'll spend hours trying to figure you out. Remember keep that mind of his engaged and he will keep coming back.



  • JoeyGail...thanks for the insight into the psyche of a Gemini man. Some of what you've pointed out, I've definitely picked up on my Gemini guy. For i.e. giving him space, not crowding him (I'm the same way, and I'm a Capricorn..can't stand feeling suffocated). Definitely, picked up he was the type to get bored easily. He's tried little things to make me jealous, but I've also noticed, HE can be the jealous type...LOL He's definitely not the boring type, a lot of fun to be around and love talking with him. He's not shy about saying what's on his mind, and I like that!



  • I had a Gem man and I gave him plenty of space, I didn't question him about what he was doing when he wasn' with me and what I didn't want to know, I didn't ask. He got to come and go as he pleased yet that wasn't even enough for him. I was a great friend to him and yet nothing given in return. He now wants to be friends and keep intimacy out of the picture. He wants to try to be a friend to me. I am not sure about this because we have been through alot and mainly why we are not together is that he likes to throw his other women in my face. I know forgiveness, forgiveness....but somehow I just can't. I just don't think they even know what they want.



  • Jazz, I felt the same way, I wasn't needy or pushy and I am a quality woman. I felt the same way that he wouldn't find anyone like me. I just figure that he hasn't figured it out then he never will and so I am walking away. I used all my skills to try to decipher him and that didn't get me anywhere other than more questions.



  • Thank you everyone for responding to my query! It's funny, because after the 4th I feel much more secure about where I stand with my Gem again! He came over for dinner and fireworks with me and my son, and we had a nice long talk after. He is a very good and highly ethical man, which is so imperative for me. He is a puzzle, and yet predictable at times too. He wants to give to me, and my little boy, but wants to be the best man he can be before he does. I respect that in him. We have an amazing physical and emotional connection, with very engaging conversations and super-charged passion!

    Although I miss the family life I had with my late husband and my son, I also enjoy my alone time too. He has asked me to be patient with him, and so I will. It is best for all of us to take this slowly, because the 1 year anniversary of my husband's death is coming up August 6th, and things are still kind of "surreal" for me right now. It makes me doubt what I'm feeling, what he's feeling and what is destined for us. We have also only been together now for 4 months.

    So, I will continue to give him his space and time, and also keep him intrigued by me. I don't think that will be too difficult! We Scorpios are quite enigmatic ourselves! Pinning him down is not what I want. Just a companionship based on love, respect and of course intense passion!

    We Scorpios must have lots of passion! (And security and stability for me and my son, of course... I hope that's possible with him...)



  • Glad to help. Does your Gemini come running if he thinks a man is paying to much attention to you , or a strange man walks up and talks to you ? Mine does. I kinda like it . I was married for over 31 years. Was with the same man since I was 17 .I'm now 49. My ex was never protective, I fought all my own battles. Kinda nice to finally have someone who thinks I'm worth getting jealous over and the fact that he likes to try and protect me doesn't hurt. If a man makes a pass at me now I've been told it is his job to take of it. Of coarse he has to get there fast because I handle those situations a little agressively. A man never makes a pass at me twice.

    My Gemini is defintely giving me an education as well, apparently I missed out on a lot in more ways then one. Do you find it difficult to stay angry with your Gemini ? I do, he walks in and as soon as I catch his scent I forget to be angry and can't remember why I was in the first place and as soon he touches me my brain goes on vacation . Life with a Gemini is never boring, frustrating sometimes, but definitely never boring. I love every minute of it.



  • Hello JoeyGail,

    I read that you're a libra and your man a gemini?!

    I'm libra, too! 2nd October. My only love is a Gem, 20 June.

    I've met him 25 yrs ago.

    According to the situation back then in 1985, he had orders to leave 10 weeks after we've met.

    I'm in Germany and he had to go back to the US.

    He still was in progress for his divorce with a hungarian woman and had a 2 yr old daughter.

    His wife didn't want to go to the States like she never would have followed him anywhere else ( why they get involved with a soldier in the first place?)

    So when we've met he was living on post back then already, that I do know for sure.

    It was love at first side.

    Club was ready to close down but I had to stick to the floor till the last sound .-)

    It was my 1st night out for over 5yrs.

    (My 1st born had died 3 1/2 yrs. by the age of 2 1/2 on a tumor and the sideaffects of the chemotherapy after a 9 months treatment.

    My marriage was burried along with my baby. Then I've stayed isolated for years)

    My sister came that evening, it was the 3rd of jan 85 to acctually force me to get outside my place!

    I didn't want to , but she didn't give in anymore! So I went with her and her man to the club.

    I felt lost, always wanted to leave.

    Then finally the music got into me and I danced for 3 hours till almost closing time.

    I had the floor to myself already and the lights slowly came on!

    I realizes 1 pair of feet dancing across from me, because most of the time I dance I do not look around!

    So I worked out a lot of emotions then on the floor and for the first time after my loss I'd felt a little relief.

    Then I've heard this voice asking me: Hello lady...may a get a look at the woman's face I'm dancing with for a sec. now.

    I looked up while telling him: ' I didn't ask you to dance with me, and don't need no dancepartner'

    Then I looked into this charming face! Grining all over it and , boom, something happened! All in a sudden his face became very serious, too and for a sec.seemed like an eternity our eyes got lost in eachother!

    Then we laughed!

    It felt like I knew him, I felt so comfortable standing there in the light, my sister and her man bugging me finally to leave.

    He had trouble with his buddies who want to go back on post.........he was the driver!

    So we both had somehow all thes people around us starting to urgue somehow, and we just laughed!

    It was all said. We didn't want to depart that time!

    I made my sis leave me alone, her man got very upset when I've told him that I join him to go to another club (didn't have enough of dancing that night, being out the 1 st night in years!)

    His buddies were upset and told him that there is no more space in the car!

    But Gem said: it's his car and eighter you walk or squeez yourself in the backseat, because the lady sits in the front!

    So...that's how it went!

    I was nuts back thenjumping in a car with 5 guys I've never met before! But I didn't think!

    My sis boyfriend pointed out to me what yould happen to me, i didn't listen and culdn't get this damn smile of my face anymore!

    Well we arrived at the club...............and danced danced really danced the night off!

    We left when day broke already and he really was a gentleman.

    Giving me a ride home, jumped out the car and helped me out!

    Just a kiss on my cheak! He thanked me and turned away! I was very disappointed but didn't say nothing!

    Then al in a sudden I felt his hand on my arm!

    I turned around and he started to stotter a little bit! And ask me: so that's it?

    i said it was a beautiful night and I really enjoyed myself for me first didn't want to leave home.

    He said he didn't wnat to get out eighter but the buddies talked him into because they needed a ride but he wanted to leave right after he had dropped them off but somehow he though he need to go in there!

    Well, destiny or just coinsidence?

    He was going to turn just 24 yrs and I had turned 30yrs already 3 months before! And he told me on the way to my place about his family already! I respected that a lot, also he did tell me that he only had 10 weeks left and he wish he could change that, even we'd just met a few hrs ago!

    So he said he want to see me again! And we did 3 days later in the club! We've met again! He had been watching me for a while while I was looking for him! Was late, like usuall!

    So, I looked around couldn't see him. I'd called myself stupid!

    A soldier, 10 weeks left, didn't get anything not even a kiss from me, so why should he bother with me, while there was enough out there for him to have just fun for the rest of his stay!

    He looked like Denzel Washington back then! My favorite actor!

    So all in a sudden I felt some hands blinding my eyes, then grapping me by my shoulders and turning me around! And there he was, having fun watching me looking for him.........I'd felt so lost in there by myself!

    He knew that and wanted to see what I'm going to do after couldn't find him!

    He said he felt sorry for me standing there like a lost girl...........all by herself while the club was packed already! ( Very funny)

    So we stared to neck eachother while reaching the dancfloor and start to dance again! I knew, we both were not aware off our surrounding!

    It felt like we've always danced together!

    No funny feeling, but there sure was a lot off heat between us already!

    Uih...........got lost in memories now......guess get me some sleep, maybe you want to here how the story went on?

    I just need an opinion again on that, because I'm so very confused and you are also a libra involved with a gem!

    I had some great respondenses in here already

    Anni



  • Gosh!!...

    For a while there I was thinking that "all" Gemini blokes were to be "kept at considerable length by means of the very longest barge pole available" , everso pleased you've come to an understanding, really, really hope it works out for you both, : D)))...

    (ps: any tips from a Scorpio lady for a Gemini man?)



  • hi tingleberts,

    my story hasn't come to and end yet.............

    Sorry, I've two female friends, scorpio..................it didn't work out with the geminis they've met, even it seemed like at the beginning!

    But I've told them, they were flirting to much, enjoying the looks of the other guys.

    No man actually likes that, but I guess I gemini might be even a bit more stricked on that?

    Mine is! Terrible jeaulous...........but sure try to hid it, but it comes back in a different way!

    So but even there is a connection between the signs................we always have the exceptions and there is a huge influence on how people are rised, their childhood, school times, friend- or relationship they had!

    So you're in love with a scorpio lady....hm?

    Anni



  • Dear tingleberts,

    one question...................are you a straight forward guy?

    Would you tell your woman (considering a long distance relationship), after you know her for 25 yrs.....staying in touch over all this years no matter whether, before finally had a chance to be able to say: finally it's us...........after asking her to move to the US ( I'm still in Germany), marry you, because after all those yrs you don't want to let her go anymore, would to tell her, in case you've met someone else in the meantime......would you be honest on that?

    I send him mails, text messages and leave messages on his phone and since a while he just keep silence, even I was in the move of leaving Germany, what he knew!

    The last time we phoned he was so crazy and happy finally to have me move over there.

    When I've seen him last time till Febr (had to come back), he didn't want to let me go and backed out a bit! Meaning I felt that he somehow shut down............hiding his feelings ( what he likes to do, since he had a bad sorry divorce) But he waited around with me at the airport for 2 1/2 hrs. ( didn't always do that before) holding me and telling me, the next time I jump on the plane it would be just a oneway ticket!

    We've talk about sending my few boxes to the US..........so my stuff will be there when I get there.

    When I've seen him throughout the year change we went to the authorities already to make sure I have all my paperwork together.

    We've checked out apartment for us to move in together so it would be "our place", and even he was working besides me being there he always made time even he was tired ( work shifts) to make me have a great time there!

    Even with his working college he introduced me to we done things together (diner, dancing, trips etc)

    Normally he is a very, very private person...............

    I spoke to his family members over the season (wasn't the 1st time) because he want me at least to get a little idea of his sisters and brother.)

    So after Iour last phonecall, where it was most important to him, not to forget any paperwork ( always talked about it, wanted me to go over it again and again) and his offer to send me money to help me with the shipping cost.......................

    he just wrapped himself in silence and ignored my affort to get in touch with him!

    I believe he has something going, but I wrote him, I never ever would blame him in case he did fall for someone, else but I need to know! I mean we had made serious arrangements for a future together and everthing was taking care off.

    But even it would kill me.......to picture ..him and someone, else ( even he was involved in those 21 yrs we haven't seen eachother, he had 2 marriages and realationships, didn't work out , he told me he alwys just wanted to be with me) now, so close to destination.........I couldn't blame him..........feelings come and go...........he cannot control it............but I would need to know.

    I love him so much, that all I want is him to be happy even it won't include me anymore!

    I would just wish him all the happiness but we could stay friend, like what we've always been since 85, when he had to leave.

    And When I went to see him first again after 21 yrs (both of us always were involved till end of 2002, but didn't make it to the US till 2006, while all those 4 yrs we were holding on to eachother till I finally could feel his arms wrapping around me, when he waited at the airport for me!) It felt so goooooood, so familiar, like me just coming home.like he dropped me off for work in the morning and picked me back up afterwards.

    21 yrs. seemed to be disappeared. We felt very comforable with each other.

    No one was shy, or holding back! We started to hug and kiss and laughed al lot! Finally......we had a real chance!

    Now I don't no anything nomore............it's just killing me......that whatever happened there after me just being back 4 weeks he stopped calling and responding to me!

    I wrote him so often.....just be a man about it and let me know! I know I deserve this:

    Now, even I pretty much could predict his moves and his actions.......I would have sold my soul if someone would have told me, he could turn out like this!

    It's so, so very sad and me stupid goose still have some hopes............even I do not know if I still would move there! At the moment I would say no! But I need to know why he do me like this...........otherwise I'll never find some peace anymore! He became, besides my children the center of my life..and my future..because he ask me to come there and if I would marry him.

    So I'm so very confused..........just don't get it.............it all doesn't make sense........



  • Dear tingleberts,

    one question...................are you a straight forward guy?

    Would you tell your woman (considering a long distance relationship), after you know her for 25 yrs.....staying in touch over all this years no matter whether, before finally had a chance to be able to say: finally it's us...........after asking her to move to the US ( I'm still in Germany), marry you, because after all those yrs you don't want to let her go anymore, would to tell her, in case you've met someone else in the meantime......would you be honest on that?

    I send him mails, text messages and leave messages on his phone and since a while he just keep silence, even I was in the move of leaving Germany, what he knew!

    The last time we phoned he was so crazy and happy finally to have me move over there.

    When I've seen him last time till Febr (had to come back), he didn't want to let me go and backed out a bit! Meaning I felt that he somehow shut down............hiding his feelings ( what he likes to do, since he had a bad sorry divorce) But he waited around with me at the airport for 2 1/2 hrs. ( didn't always do that before) holding me and telling me, the next time I jump on the plane it would be just a oneway ticket!

    We've talk about sending my few boxes to the US..........so my stuff will be there when I get there.

    When I've seen him throughout the year change we went to the authorities already to make sure I have all my paperwork together.

    We've checked out apartment for us to move in together so it would be "our place", and even he was working besides me being there he always made time even he was tired ( work shifts) to make me have a great time there!

    Even with his working college he introduced me to we done things together (diner, dancing, trips etc)

    Normally he is a very, very private person...............

    I spoke to his family members over the season (wasn't the 1st time) because he want me at least to get a little idea of his sisters and brother.)

    So after Iour last phonecall, where it was most important to him, not to forget any paperwork ( always talked about it, wanted me to go over it again and again) and his offer to send me money to help me with the shipping cost.......................

    he just wrapped himself in silence and ignored my affort to get in touch with him!

    I believe he has something going, but I wrote him, I never ever would blame him in case he did fall for someone, else but I need to know! I mean we had made serious arrangements for a future together and everthing was taking care off.

    But even it would kill me.......to picture ..him and someone, else ( even he was involved in those 21 yrs we haven't seen eachother, he had 2 marriages and realationships, didn't work out , he told me he alwys just wanted to be with me) now, so close to destination.........I couldn't blame him..........feelings come and go...........he cannot control it............but I would need to know.

    I love him so much, that all I want is him to be happy even it won't include me anymore!

    I would just wish him all the happiness but we could stay friend, like what we've always been since 85, when he had to leave.

    And When I went to see him first again after 21 yrs (both of us always were involved till end of 2002, but didn't make it to the US till 2006, while all those 4 yrs we were holding on to eachother till I finally could feel his arms wrapping around me, when he waited at the airport for me!) It felt so goooooood, so familiar, like me just coming home.like he dropped me off for work in the morning and picked me back up afterwards.

    21 yrs. seemed to be disappeared. We felt very comforable with each other.

    No one was shy, or holding back! We started to hug and kiss and laughed al lot! Finally......we had a real chance!

    Now I don't no anything nomore............it's just killing me......that whatever happened there after me just being back 4 weeks he stopped calling and responding to me!

    I wrote him so often.....just be a man about it and let me know! I know I deserve this:

    Now, even I pretty much could predict his moves and his actions.......I would have sold my soul if someone would have told me, he could turn out like this!

    It's so, so very sad and me stupid goose still have some hopes............even I do not know if I still would move there! At the moment I would say no! But I need to know why he do me like this...........otherwise I'll never find some peace anymore! He became, besides my children the center of my life..and my future..because he ask me to come there and if I would marry him.

    So I'm so very confused..........just don't get it.............it all doesn't make sense........



  • JoeyGail,

    'My gem' was very jealous, when he knew I had a great understanding with another guy, he always ask me, why don't I marry him..............but the moment itself he hided his jealousy pretty good!

    He just kept asking me over and over again if I do love him ( once he told me he couldn't get enought of hearing it...guess he couldn't believe it somehow he never experienced true love.soemone who things of him first..) and wanted to be told why.........that I kept telling him if he don't feel it.............then he always responded: " How he suppose to when I'm still in Germany?"

    He did write me short messages like! " I'm a lucky man" When I've send him long messages or mail he just send me a " I love you, too" back!

    He sure don't like to write or reading unless some professional books................he always had called me up after receiving my notes, mails, letters whatever.so I could tell him through the phone, what was sometimes not as easy as to write 🙂 of course

    So how are you doing meanwhile............as far you can see I wrote a large post to a gem man we have in here.

    Like to know how he thinks and feels about all this, hope he will post in here again!!

    I spend to much time in here, have to work something now and my household is calling to be taking care off!

    But being in here i feel a bit better!

    so later you all!

    And thx for responding!

    Anni



  • Hi JoeyGail!

    My Gem doesn't make that much time right now to spend with me, so I don't know if he would step in if another man approached me. Last night though when I told him about an old boyfriend that spent years trying to find me, he responded with the fact that he has an appointment with a professional female massage therapist this week! It was kind of cute the way he segued into that after my story. I'm not really the jealous type, but I responded with a comment about my relief that it was a professional therapist, and not a massage parlor! So far, he seems pretty protective and concerned about me, and my son though.

    As far as staying angry with him, I am just the same as you! I was a bit angry about his non-commital attitude until he walked in on the 4th. I too caught his scent, and all was forgotten! Plus, he was so cute with my son during our little fireworks display, it was just too hard to stay angry with him. And when he touches me... I am lost in Gaga land! I love every minute of it too...

    Hi tingleberts!

    I am by no means suggesting that Gemini men (blokes-are you British?) are rats! This one frustrates my Scorpian sensibilities and fierce loyalties, but he gives me just as much pleasure! Ahhh those Gemini dualities...

    As far as tips from a Scorpio... Just be yourself, be affectionate and as intellectual as possible. Challenge our minds, and pleasure our bodies! (teehee) It appears that you Gemini men are quite good at that! I have read that there is usually a fierce passion between Geminis and Scorpios, and I agree with that! It's just the commitment part that is challenging to you Gems! Scorpios will commit without fail, and with mind, body and soul, but we desperately need the same in return. If you cross us... watch out for our stingers! You'll feel our wrath without fail! (Not really... we are just tough on the outside, but like mush on the inside...) I have Gemini as my rising sign, so I have quite a bit of influence from that. I have a duality myself. Hot and cold, hard and soft, lighthearted and melancholy... So a bit hard to figure out myself! Rising and Moon signs really do have an influence on us, so although we may all share similar characterisitics to others with the same sign, we are still all quite unique...



  • Blimey!

    Yes I'm a Brit (but born in Oz so that may well confuse the astrologers a tad, bein' upside down 'n' all), and I'll try and answer as straightforwardly as I can from the Gemini point of view - but please understand that there isn't a template for relating to us - intuition must always come into play and no stereotypes can ever be relied upon...

    Let's all be brave and face up to the fact that pretty much all blokes (guys) are absolutely scared ****less about committing to a long term relationship no matter what birthsign they are...

    AJATC85 - I'll have to ponder at length on your post before replying, I doubt I can offer any real help but may be able to give a viewpoint from where I'm sitting as a Gemini man, but it could only ever be a very subjective one, and different cultures have different outlooks after all...

    Jazzsinger - Stoppit, you're just making me even more wistful!! I just KNOW that a Scorpio lady would be absolutely marvelous (and yes, we are rather tactile : *p !!) ...

    The very best of luck to both of you : D))



  • ps:

    Just to add that, YES, we do get everso jealous, which really annoys myself, 'cos like everyone else I enjoy a little bit of flirting too, so why shouldn't I accept any girlfriend enjoying it too, grrrr...? expect potential fisticuffs directed at the fellow being flirted with if you do it in front of him tho', which might not be the outcome you'd hoped for...

    And also, YES, mega protective, I become "8 feet tall and massively musclebound" all of a sudden if I see any potential threat to any lady on my arm...