History for Watergirl
Thank you so much for the detailed reading. It is more than I expected and said with such kindness. I am definitely holding onto something that hasn't happened. There are many details which ring true. Bob's partner passed away two days after giving a premature birth to their first child. I helped Bob and nurtured the child, Hana, for nearly two years. I cooked, cleaned, planned outings, did the laundry...everything a "mother" would do for a family. Hana was closer to me than even to her own nannies. In 2007, Hana's maternal grandparents moved her to Germany because Bob was not emotionally nor physically capable of taking care of her. He sued the grandparents for custody in 2010 and claimed the grandparents kidnapped Hana. This was not true. Every year, the grandparents invited him to Germany. In three years, I think he only went over twice and rarely called Hana.
Bob has no friends (his words, not mine) and as everyone around him agrees, he's very difficult to get along with. When Hana returned last year, Bob didn't even tell me. Like I said, Hana and I were very close. I was like a mother to her and she would cry every time I told her I had to take her back to her dad's house. Someone even called social services once which set him off on an angry tirade. He yelled at me on the phone for over an hour because he felt I was at fault for confiding in a friend, the one who did call. However, the call was not to accuse him, but to find out what services were available to help. I think when you mentionned "neurotic", that sounds more like Bob. He yelled at me on the phone when I was in the grocery store buying his groceries. There was no provocation. Bob hides out in his bedroom, uses work as his excuse so that he doesn't have to care for Hana, has no relationship with family, and has had multiple relationships where women have cheated on him (again, so he told me). Even his partner may have cheated. He found some emails and letters after her death which implicated an affair with a former classmate in Germany. One time, Bob said to me that he's paranoid about what other people say, how he holds his fork, how he sits in a chair, what he says, etc. It's been his paranoia since childhood.
You are correct that there is no relationship. Bob and I never had a relationship, although he did say that he cared about me in 2008 during a counselling session. We had joint counselling for almost six months, which is a miracle in itself according to his brother. The counsellor felt that if I left things alone, she felt that Bob would return into my life. He just wasn't ready for any relationship. I did fall in love with Bob and told him this in 2007.
Today, every so often, I hear things about them through mutual acquaintances. Bob has hired multiple nannies. I believe Hana doesn't even stay in her own home on the weekends. One of the nannie takes her back to her place. A friend of mine whose son is in the same afterschool care told me the other day that there is sadness in Hana's eyes. It's been one year since her return, she's not quite seven years old, and she is sad when a mother or father picks up her friends from school. Bob doesn't do this. It's any one of the nannies who does this. Bob restricts the grandparents no more than 10 minutes per week to skype with Hana. On Canadian Thanksgiving, no one invited him to their home for dinner. Instead, one of his nanny made a meal and invited another family who I know to join him, Hana, the nanny and her daughter for dinner. This family is the only ones who still sees Bob and Hana. Everyone else has removed himself/herself from Bob's life. Sadly, this precludes removing ourselves from Hana's life. As another acquaitance said to me last week, she's afraid of responding to his email (no words in the email, only photos attached of Hana...very odd) because he'd probably invite himself over for dinner and they would have to take care of him. He had this habit of inviting himself over night after night once you start caring about him.
After over one year since her return, I saw Hana two weeks ago. I've tried reiki three times this summer to unblock my energies. A few things have happend. The German grandparents emailed me even though I hadn't heard from them in over a year. A friend told me that Bob said it was okay for me to see Hana and I did, and she healed the scars on my face from a nasty fall down a hill. I've tried some pychics too. 98% feel that Bob will return in my life and does care about me but is afraid. There have been a few psychic signs (i.e. one saw a white wired bed and several days later, I remembered what it was..it was Hana's crib in the hospital).
So, I get very confused. News are positive. News are negative. Just not sure. My heart wants to heal. I don't want to be alone. At the same time, I love Hana so much and wishes she were back in my life. I care a lot about Bob too. I am like his deceased partner, put up a lot with his neurosis. I am in a very stale situation. By the way, Hana remembered me.
There is a sign of three: perhaps Bob, Hana and his partner, perhaps Bob, Hana, and me. I'm not sure. I did come into his life at a time when he needed me. There was a tragedy. And Bob lives his life in a fog. If he is pulling himself out of this fog, then I am very happy for him because it means he and Hana can have a true relationship. I do believe that Bob is still a hermit. He has been this way his entire life. I do know that the hermit also holds a beacon that will lead him back to life again.
I have reread your reading over and over again. I have looked to my higher self and praying for answers. Last night, I pulled out my tarot card and asked for the outcome to this situation. I pulled out the two of cups. So again, I don't know how to interpret or understand.
I hope that your reading, without any disrespect, has a brighter future for me with Bob and Hana. I never would have thought I would see Hana again and I did see her. I guess the only thing that I can do is live my life and whatever the higher power has in store for me will be revealed over time.
With many blessings to you,
Sorry this took so long - I actually have been working on this all day. For some reason, I had a really hard time breathing - like my airway was constricted - when I was working on your reading. I pulled extra cards for you and then even did an extensive Tarot reading as well because I could tell this is a very important issue for you and you are at a critical crossroads. Your initial cards were:
The Past/History of the Relationship: Violet Angel (breaking dawn)
The Present: The Three Witchy Sisters (the power of three)
The Future: Nautilus Princess (powerful personal growth)
Advice: Sewer Mermaid and Two Little Witches
The Violet Angel is about fresh hope after a difficult time. It feels like you were the Violet Angel swooping into his life to help him in some way - he was going through something very difficult. In the present, the number three is what is jumping out at me the most from this card. Three people are somehow involved and I am also getting time - three months or three years. However, this card also carries a message that something isn't quite right and these three witches show up to help you connect your higher wisdom to your physical reality - to be the catalyst for a powerful energy shift - to awaken you to what you are not seeing so that you can bring this situation to a close and say farewell. Your future card is about reclaiming your personal power. She is an underwater princess which suggests pretty strong emotions, but the nautilus she is clutching is her personal power. She is making the transformation from princess to queen. From being timid and gentle to living up to her full potential. Dignity, truth and wisdom are her guides. This card is about powerful emotional growth and life transitions. Your advice cards are about releasing blockages. The Sewer Mermaid - the sewer is backing up and overflowing and it is time to unblock the energy and release so the waters can flow through the pipes again. The Two Little Witches show up for energy clearing - to sweep away that which is stale, what you have been hanging onto that is weighing you down, and to usher in new fresh air and energy.
I'm sorry, hun, but from these cards it does not appear that there is a future for you and Bob. In fact, it doesn't feel like there is a "present." Did this relationship end some time ago? Three months or years (I am getting years?!?) It feels like you are holding on so tight that you can't get any oxygen - almost smothering yourself with the emotions and struggle to hang on. Just in case, I pulled some Tarot cards in a relationship spread...
You as you see yourself in the relationship: King of Pents, reversed
Him as he sees himself in the relationship: Ace of Pents, reversed
**Your card is about you feeling the loss of this man, however this King reversed also speaks to excessive worry or preoccupation with something and with stubbornly or rigidly holding onto something. His card shows that he does not see himself as in a relationship with you and also suggests that he may feel as though he made false promises to you.
Your past baggage/what you brought into the relationship: Ace of Cups
His past baggage/what he brought into the relationship: 4 of Wands
**Your card is obvious, but what struck me was his. This shows the end of a relationship/marriage, but it feels like it was tragic in some way (especially when compared to more of the cards to follow). Whatever it was, he was definitely on the rebound.
Where you think the relationship is now: 8 of Swords
Where he thinks the relationship is now: The Hermit, reversed
**Your card is coming through as mental torture and you being bound, tied up in a prison of your own making. There is a loss of empowerment in this card. It suggests you putting your life on hold and "waiting" for his return. The waiting has become your prison. His card shows a withdrawal from the relationship and a lack of communication. He does not feel there is a relationship at this point.
How he saw you when you first met: The Hanged Man
How he sees you now: The Empress, reversed
**You came into this relationship as some sort of saint or spiritual savior to him. He was really traumatized and also in a fog. Now he sees you as depressed, suffering, almost in despair and maybe even a little neurotic. This is also the "mother" card and it is reversed so I am getting that there was a child (of his) involved.
How you saw him when you first met: The Chariot
How you see him now: The Moon
**When you first met you saaw him as struggling emotionally - having difficulty with maintaining balance and coping, but persevering through the struggle - summoning up the courage and energy to carry on. Now your views of him are very distorted as you are seeing him through the lens of your very strong emotions over what has happened.
Outside influences affecting you: 3 of Swords, reversed
Outside influences affecting him: 7 of Cups, reversed
**These cards tell me that he has recovered from his grief and the fog has lifted. He is seeing things more clearly now, but you are not (sorry!).
Outcome of this relationship: 4 of Swords, reversed
**This card reversed is about isolation, loneliness, withdrawal, even exile. But it is also about HEALING.
Once again, I'm sorry, but this really feels like you were an angel for him to nurse him (and his child?) through a very difficult period, but you did not see clearly that he was in such a difficult traumatic period that this really wasn't the same relationship to him as it was to you. I think he feels a badly about this because he now sees what you are going through. He wants to be friends in order to ease your pain, but he is afraid that you will not move on if he does allow the friendship. You really need to put it all aside and focus on YOUR OWN HEALING for the time being. Stop waiting for him to return. Waiting is suffering and leads to stagnation and isolation which is where you are now. In time, when you have truly released the desire to be back with him as a couple, then a friendship may be possible.
Turn the focus inward and spend some time nurturing yourself.