Ulterior motives?



  • HI folks,

    we are planning the move back to my home country in the upcoming year and I am still having misgivings. I hope I will overcome them and I have started planning in baby steps. My husband however is eager to get the move done sooner and I feel myself under alot of pressure to do something I really am not ready for yet. Seeing as my husband never ever does anything for the good of another unless it benefits him first, I am really wondering if anyone can give me insight in to what on earth could be his ulterior motive for wanting this move to happen fast. He will never be there anyway seeing as his work is on continental Europe 99 percent of the time so it is in essence just me and the kids moving and him swanning in now and again. I have asked him and he says it would be for our family's good, but I am not convinced. He says once we are set up there it will all be different . Sorry not convinced by that either. Does anyone have any insight? And does anyone have any insight in to the wisdom of such a move? It will never happen before I am 100% behind it but I am missing the link to that 100% and I cannot find it.

    Many thanks to you all

    Paddifluff



  • I'm on break but this one is easy---be your own advisor--re-read your post--pretend it's from a lovely soul and give her the "detached" answer. It's all right there. Think back to your past --usually in 6 or 7 year cycles--when have you felt this way before? Ignored your gut and let yourself be "moved" by an outside energy --YOU--let get bigger than you--because you allow your big strong self to carry the weight alone. Alright, that person is almost changed--HE can feel it---that old trooper of a survivor is suddenly opening to receive--asking for help--gathering energy--GATHERING ENERGY!!!! Oh my--he says--can't control her once that happens!!!. Whatever is his motive?--to tie you up---to keep you busy---to create a situation that leaves you little energy to blossom to your most empowered self. There's a wonderful word--use it .NO!---try it out---alone--just say it over and over. NO!!! NO because I said so--no just because---no because i feels right---no no no. Practice it. I see that this move is not all bad but it is if YOU are not in the lead. BECAUSE---your dream HOME is relative to timing and he does not have that--you are the female intuitive energy. You do not live under logics one rule. TIMING TIMING TIMING!!!! You know to be there at the perfect moment open to receive calls for intuitive knowing--and you got it--it's your gift. THIS TIME keep hands on the wheel and you be ready and you be stubborn and you make all desicions when it feels right so you are open to receive a HOME and not just some house you settled on under his push. Exercise the Goddess power of "NO" without explainasion. Believe in your entitlement--follow your intuitionn. PUSH BACK this time. Pray to Saint Michael to beef up your male energy to protect your female gifts. BLESSINGS!



  • Oh wow Blmoon I love those cards and their messages and thank you so much for jumping in with your great advice. Control as the ulterior motive, I am beginning to wonder if there is a pathological thing going on here or rather there. It will always be me and the kids and then him, it will never be us, we move he will never be there so why move just because he wants it. True it would benefit me because it is my country and I have family there, grr it is so difficult to describe. Lets just say I cannot understand why he should get all angry and upset when I say I am not ready when he is never going to be there antway. Ok control.

    Just had to get it down, in a moment of clarity I got the message to set my own thing up get my independence back and then move. Why on earth are we together at all?

    Hugs to you Blmoon thank you for stopping by on your down time.

    xxxxPaddi



  • You're together because you are not ready to move on from him yet. You will be at some time unless you can come together on most things. Don't know why I said that except sometimes outsiders can see more clearly in the moment, just as you can see for me.

    Thank heaven blmoon took a break at this time, she can see things with such clarity.

    Remember you too have the opportunity to move to a better place and to do it at your own pace. Take care your strength is showing ABP



  • Thanks ABP see that name of yours is inspiring. I would like to move to that better place as a complete family but if that is not happening then so be it.

    Blmoon if you are reading I did read my post back today when I felt more detached from it and I know I would tell that person to chuck him and go it alone. Telling someone to chuck someone else is easier said than done but going it alone sounds good and like you said another time it is up to him to step up.

    HUgs to you all and thank you for keeping me sane

    Paddi



  • You are with him because he challenges you to change. Every good story has conflict. He is your inspiration to be better--to grow spiritually. Not all change comes in comfy ways. Otherwise we become passive. Sometimes we may not know we are lacking power until some one with controll issues points it out! Too many folks believe in fairy tale soul mate unions that run perfectly smooth. Mostly, life is a boot camp--it kicks our buts into growing selfsufficiant and to grow stronger. A Goddess always looks for the gift in a bad situation---for you--it's how do I make this union with a controller work for me? Then you grow that muscle and wisdom and in that way whateever happens between you--if he stays and changes or you part--you will have received the gift and not ever be A VICTIM! Make it work for you. Flex the muscle that follows your inner voice no matter how he pushes. BLESSINGS!



  • :)) I gotta say it again I love those cards and their messages!



  • Always, always, always listen to your gut reactions. They will never steer you wrong.

    If you do not receive adequate responses from your husband, just tell him how you feel. He should be able to open up and clarify why this is such a good move for him.

    Doubt is good. Listen to your intuition.

    Blessings for a more peaceful future with hubby...



  • Thank you firefly. Unfortunately the controlling person will never tell or admit to their true motivation and they also make bad listeners as they are too narcisstic to be interested in another's feelings for very long. At least that is what I have concluded.

    xP


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