Will my Gemini man come back?
The background story is this- I dated my Gemini off and on for 6 months, then he gave in to his emotions and said he loved me. I easily gave in to his dazzling charms and twinkling eyes and we were boyfriend and girlfriend. He moved in right away and we lived together for a year. I was an immature Libra though and didn't give him his space. I nagged him like his mother. It was downhill from there until one day he said he wasn't "in-love" with me anymore and I had to move out. He was hard to let go but I left and gave him his space. He was the love of my life and I swore I'd never be with anyone else after him.
A few months after the break-up he would call me periodically and invite me over. We would watch a movie or chit chat for a bit. One time he called and before hanging up he accidentally said "I love you" but I ignored it and laughed it off because I still believed in what he told me months ago.."I don't love you anymore".
Years have past and he still pops in and out of my life. I love him unconditionally so I welcome his presence, his random texts and invites to come over and pick up something I had left at the apartment. I never talked about the relationship, I hid my emotions because I thought he would break them again. I thought for sure he would verbalize his interest in getting back together, but he didn't. In hindsight I do recall he would always hug me goodbye. and during one visit he tried to cuddle me on the couch but I pushed him away thinking he was just joking. I had no self esteem.
So currently- He met with me and told me he was moving out of state. I was devastated. Then one of his friends said he had met another girl and was moving because of her. I thought I was going to die, I always thought we would be together again, I just had to wait patiently ( I've waited for 3 years at this point).
So I asked if we could meet one last time. We met at a bar and I tried to be as airy and fun as possible. I wanted to show him that I was a changed person. He commented, Why are you single?? So I guess he was intrigued a bit? I then mustard up the nerve to finally bring up the big question on my mind... "why are you leaving for this other girl? I thought we would get back together" ... His answer was... "It's just something I have to do." He was tired of the city. And then he said I didn't have to worry because what he has with this new girl isn't the same as what we had. He totally mind f**ked me! Then all of a sudden he had to leave the bar. I gave him a hug outside and told him I loved him. He replied "I love you too. Maybe some day we'll be together." Then he told me to find him on Facebook. I haven't heard from him since.
Should I just move on and save myself the pain and misery of waiting? or should I keep hope alive? Will my Gemini come back?
i feel you should move on , that's what he is doing. if something happens and your paths cross again then so be it, but don't waste ur life waiting on something that may never happen.
Girl.... Move on.
I know it is easier said than done but you have to do it, you owe it to yourself. Waiting for him is going to cause you more pain and grieve. He blatantly told you that what he has with the other girl is not the same as what you both had, Flip, is he saying that the other girl makes him happier that you did? Gimini's are naturally on and off, I dated one before, but that does not mean you have to wait for something that might never happen.
You might even lose out on the man of your dreams while waiting for this guy. I could have died the minute he answered that he has to move in with the other girl because he is tired of this city. MOVE ON GIRL, There is a lot waiting for you out there.
Thanks CancerDiva and Earthwindandfire...it's good to read your honest words. I was hoping to hear, "he still wants you" but that's me in fantasy land You guys are probably right though. I should just forget he ever existed and live my life according to me. But its just hard letting go of someone that I thought for so long was the One.
So if in a year from now he shows up and says he wants me back, should I tell him to take a hike?
If he comes back? You will cross the bridge when you get to it.
I guess it will depend whether you met someone at that point and you are happy or whether you are single and still looking. If at that point you still love him and you are single then take him back and move on with caution, your past experiences with him must have taught you a lot about him by now. Just do me a favor, BE YOURSELF, don’t even try to impress or be someone you think he wants you to be.
Girl Power... Keep your head up babe!
You know what, I'm going to tape that to my mirror so I see it every morning and never forget!
I do feel like I deserve better and that maybe I was foolish for waiting so long. I like what you said about being "yourself" because I did try to morph into someone else in hopes to get him back. (Its crazy what we do sometimes in the name of love). But I've opened my eyes and know that's not the way.
Thank you for helping me keep my head on straight! I feel much more empowered and stronger already.
Dealing with a gem right now and he's as nuts as urs is! Hot n cold up n down! It's just up to u if u got it in u to deal with it ;(
Nowheregirl~ He will be back! Trust me. How long has he known this girl ? Moving long distance to be with a girl is VERY RISKY. He is moving to her, that makes him very vulnerable and that's crazy. Once they settle in, if the do, they won't make it. He's rebounding off your relationship, which won't work, because he will compare her to you. He told you he loved you for 2 reasons, he does and, if this doesnt work out, he will be back for you. I would let him go, because we really dont know what can happen, and when you love someone that is being pulled by someone else, it's not a good idea to cling. Trust in your love, trust in your bond together. Before he leaves I would text him and let him know you will miss him, thats all. Dont tug on his emotions, let him do this. He's committed now so he has to. Once e does leave, I would text him a few times a week to say hello, but I would say I love you. I would do this until you know for sure he's never coming back or, I would do this until he does. DONT GIVE UP..Love has a funny way of coming back to you. Never give up !!
if it's meant to be it will happen. Hhile he's gone just do you. How about his relationship with the other girl does work out? Go on with your life and plans.
@ GEMINIMANTROUBLE, Thanks, you know I would love to hear some of your stories so I don't feel like the only one, and how do you deal with those issues?
The funny thing is, I'm sort of surrounded by Geminis- my dad and half-brother are both Gems. It's different when you date one for sure though. But I think it's interesting how they're different people yet they all have the same Gemini traits. The beauty of astrology I guess. But no matter how much I study and observe I will never understand the Gemini!
@ TruePhoenix, I do feel a little beaten up by him and that i should move on because I owe myself happiness. But yet I cant imagine being with anyone else, its weird and Ive tried to date but, no one else really feels right. I guess in this day and age its unheard of for a person to wait for their love. Its romantic to think of the story of Penelope and Odysseus where she waited 20 years for his return. I'd like to think true love like that still exists.
The other girl he met is a Gemini too and from what I read they aren't a good match and usually wear eachother out. She looks kinda like a hippie party girl type. (I'm more of a new age practical girl who loves adventure). I thought the same thing you did- moving away to an unknown place without money or family, makes you overly reliant and at the mercy of the one you're with..there's no escaping. I would never do that, I would feel trapped. But he committed and I didn't stop him in time.
We'll see how long it lasts. In the meantime I'll try and think about something else.
oh boy do i have stories! my husband and i are separated for the second time and its always the same. he leaves because it gets rough and he doesnt know how to deal but he always comes back. well fight then hell come around eventually. im tellin you now its an emotional rollercoaster you just have to decide if ur going to go along for the ride or find someone more consistent. plain and simple.
@NowhereGirl~ Eventually you will stop waiting. In the meantine, you must let this go and let it ride out. it could be a month, it could be a year....no one can tell you that...its wonderful that you found true love, and love hurts, youre not the only one experiencing this...so you know how to love deeply and feel love deeply....now, go out and try to find iot again...date, and when someone doesnt match, then move on...its casual dating, and I'm sure you wont have any problem doing that...I know this is a crazy time to date and to be single...and I know its scary for most woman who want to be in a relationship with a good man and not be out there with all the lunatics...so have a good plan and be very careful....there are men out there who believe in romance and love. and being with one woman...just like you do..dont stop trying to think mof him...its ok to do that...believe that this girl cannot give him what you did....start thinking about what went wrong...think about what you really didnt like about him..there had to be something....dont blame her....just let it go...youre better than that.....start going out, look good, have fun...and justr step back for now...dont get blinded and jump into anything....