Captain can I get a reading

  • Hi Captain! Been dating a Cancer man for the past 8-9 months its been great for the most part but like most of the other folks involved with cancer men its had its challenges mostly because he is insecure and just unsure of himself at times and he is definitely intense and moody. Wears his emotions on his sleeves except when it comes to me. He shows me in every way when we are together how he feels but can never tell me as to speak would make himself way to vulnerable. he is also a self admitted control freak and commitment phobe. But I love him, he is amazing in many many ways but he is a lot of work and a lot of things need to be on his terms. He is 6/22/72 I am 10/7/66.

    Thanks very much. Love this forum!

  • This relationship's greatest need, and inevitably the focus of its energies, is to find direction. Perhaps you two need to follow an ideology, person or group or perhaps you can find the strength to give sense and purpose to your activities within the relationship irself. This is the crucial issue here. Creating a self-motivating unit is of course the goal, but the relationship may have to find its way via a teacher of some sort, a person whose ideas are initially likely to prove dominant but may later be gradually set aside or even rejected. Given this tendency, it is not uncommon for the two of you to meet for the first time in a school or other educational or religious setting. This relationship may also have trouble deciding what it does best or what is best for the two of you yourselves - friendship, love, working together, or living together. Look within yourselves for motivation and inspiration.

    A love affair or marriage between you will often show a special interest in food, cooking, clothing or interior design. The greatest danger in this relationship is dietary, for a sedentary and easygoing lifestyle coupled with a love of eating can be a prescription for disaster. Here the issue of motivation enters again, since giving an outward drive to the relationship may help it save the two of you from overweight or clogged arteries. It is usually essential for you as lovers or spouses to work out, swim, or take long walks together. Strike a balance between inertia and hyperactivity. You SGL are especially interested in people and your partner in aesthetics, but together you are likely to investigate a wide range of subjects, from history to music to sports. The relationship's chief characteristic can be an inquiry into hitherto unexplored and fascinating areas of thought and action.

    You SGL must be careful not to seek your self-worth through others. You are looking for total, permanent, mutually empowering commitment with a partner you can count on to take care of all your material needs while you take care of all his emotional needs - or vice versa. To do this, you must make sure you have a partner with similar energy, shared goals, and values. Your current partner has very scattered emotional needs and is looking for a safe secure environment, a haven where he can feel free to be himself and be totally doted on and protected, a home where he feels he truly belongs. Once he finds someone who he thinks can provide this haven, he can become very dependent on them, even invading their lives and trying to control their every waking moment. He may identify or relate too strongly with his mother, comparing every woman unfavourably to her or trying to find a replacement for the good parent/father he never had. It can make him resentful of the responsibility inherent in having a relationship and he can become very closed and fiercely self-protective at times, preferring to be miserably alone rather than having too much demanded of him. He fears being controlled by someone who is insensitive to his needs. Yet he cannot look to anyone else to provide this place of safety he craves but must find it inside himself, by building his self-respect and confidence so that he feels comfortable in whatever life situation he finds himself. You both have a big desire to be taken care of so unless one of you steps forward to be the protector (the parent) instead of the protected one (the child) - and can happily remain in this role without needing to be taken care of in return - this relationship will not provide what you both want. SGL, you may be better off finding someone who wants to look after you instead of vice versa, and who is happy to commit himself to you.

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