Hello Shuabby its me again can u please guide me again thanks
Hi, My Dear will you please give me some insight and guidance if you have spare time pretty please.
I felt so strange to myself lately actually it was started last month. Thanks God I always stand up and get back on my own ground.I am again dealing wit some issues that sometimes people 's matter to me felt so bad and get upset towards me. I really dunno why they always think that I may be upset or sometimes they call me crazy or psycho it was awful but funny..LOL cos I am not its just I need my time alone if, I was broken hearted and that was totally terrible and now just realized it's my fault. I always give my all to my opposite end up hurting myself. I put my guard down and I was gullible to believe but anyways.I am just doing alright and tried to keep myself to be positive but a bit confused and worried that people's matter to me might thinking that I tried to be distant to them which is not. Why is that I found out Cancer man that I used to know had no bad intention towards me. But it was late he did even bother giving me a chance to talk to him and give my apology personally instead he wanted me to leave him alone and he always said that I need to move on and there is nothing left to say.I said to him that it wasn't make me feel good doing that I only wanted to be his friend and I am serious nothing personal.I said to him that I'm so happy for him cos I was told by him that he found someone and glad to hear that. I wish we never had personal attachment instead keep him as a friend deep down inside I know his a good person but he sometimes can't control his emotion and I push him so much and loosing his patient when he always begging me to leave him alone. I have no luck to anyone and I now learnt to be alone and If i had no chance to have kids I have all the love to share to all the people's matter to me. I only wanted my peace of mine I really can't stand that I hurt someone an intentionally but still find myself guilty. I am tough but deep down inside I'm so emotionaL , intense ,its mentally draining . I can easily attract my opposite but I makes me felt bad if they only wanted one thing to me. I am very simple woman and I now wonder if someone curse me or i have to pay the debt of my dad cos his a certified womanizer till now.
Where are you located? What country? I do believe that you have come along way just from learning to be alone. Yes, it is hard to do for most of us that have love to give and than find that we panic when the thought is : That the love is not returned, many emotions come from feeling rejection. I notice that you said you pushed and upset your Cancer former lover. Now from that experience you have learned not to push, but to accept that others have to have their space for mental thinking also that must be respected.
When you need time alone just tell those that you hold dear to your heart that you need some time away for a short time to clear and balance and than you will return renewed . Simple women have just as much a chance as a beautiful rich woman does, because being simple brings you a bit closer to God. You should not be as expectant as someone that feels entitled to all things.
You will find another love as soon as you have learned how to be fully alone and happy within yourself, than there will be a man that is rather quiet and I feel he has a good family background and do not worry that your dad was a certifield womanizer , this has noting to do with you and what you have to give as a wife and mother. You will do a very good job of both. I feel you being alone for about 3-4 months longer before this man is brought into your life to be your husband. He feels smart and educated in computers ect. You will have learned alot in your alone time by than and will know instintitlly what to do when you meet this man. I here Err in his name.
In the meantime I am told to tell you to put your hands in the ground and grow flowers that will be beautiful to give away or sell , and even vegetables to help you to be healthy and friends and family also. By putting your hands in the ground you are actually grounding yourself and this will help you to become calmer within. Do you have a pet? I feel a cat that would be good for you to have in your life , feels like a male cat could be black and white that will come around you and when he does you will feel very peaceful inside as the cat is sent from spirit to help you not to feel so alone at this time. I am told to tell you to pray and ask your guides and angels to help guide you with your inner healing and the words you speak will become different than how you speak to people now. You will have a peace that will flow from you to others and make you look like a goddress of the most spiritual kind to those you know and meet in the future.
Please let me know how your journey is progressing.
Sending You A Hug
Hi Shuabby good to hear from u. I'm now back here in Sdyney. I just arrived yesterday early in the morning from oversea.s I spend 5days in my native land Philippines. I also attended our grade school class reunion last Sunday but I was there last August for two weeks I travel with my cousin tourist and I really enjoyed it . I was amazed the I always after to travel different country but it was my very first time travelling out there oops my second time I guess 2009 I went to Boracay and last August at Cebu and Bohol. I love to spend my time away if I was shattered tried to figure it out what went wrong but I honesly always blaming myself for some reason. You are right I should keep myself away and let him go cos he also needs to have sometime out just like I do its almost a year and till now he wasn't once interested to see me. I wonder why sometimes I was told that he found someone that made him complete and its good to hear that cos he really deserved to be happy so do I. I understand him but I always wanted the best of everything and make sure that he is happy now. Not that I am longing to win him back but I do care about him I still love him but I am now not in love with him. Too many things had happen and I was wounded too till now cos I admit that I was wrong and it was late. If i could only turn back the time I will love to keep him as a friend though his way far from me. I always remember the way he pleasing me to leave him alone and stop contacting him .He always said that he never doing things behind my back . But it was really hard to me to trust people if I they lied to me and hearing things that I am no no body and not even his friend or family but for pleasure. And I know some how he never meant to tell that I pushed him to much and turn to abusive me and disrespected me. I tried my best to get over everything and this Capricorn man makes me feel good and keep me company while we had some issues and this two had fight just because of my stupid mistake. I honestly scared to trust people and Cancer man said that to me cos I really feel easily that they lied to me and I hated it. I prepare to hear the truth good or bad rather than lied to me cos I am pretty sure that it the key of any kind relationship . I tried to change my pattern to this Capricorn man and his truly makes me believe that he never once cheated on my and love the way of his being polite and respected me. I do understand that he was working away and we never much much spend time together or hardly talk due to his different hour of working. i always felt something doesn't makes me feel good but I said to myself here I again thinking too much and made me feel bad for I shouldn't wasted energy cos it only wasting my time and effort. He had so much reason when I came back from overseas last August. That was the very first time I felt that was not what I want and he always hanging me up. We both wanted to take things slow cos his priority is his work so do I. We hardly communicate and he always messed up on our get together and I said that I give and I don't wanna weight for I waited for him to show me that he do care and we had mutual understanding. He always said to me that we both enjoying each other company he likes me. I find myself getting needy again and I don't want to be in that situation again. And felt sorry to myself that he only visited me in for an hour . I'm so mad and really wanted to tell him I'm done. I never once calling him late at night I was surprised a lady answer my phone call and asking me what;s going on? Pleasing me to explained everything cos she has 1o weeks old baby and he was the father. OMG! i hated myself and felt sorry to the lady all my life I always wanted to see myself having my own happy family but to ruined her and innocence angel of her its killing me. And for now i don't really want to hurt myself and all I have to do is to forgive myself and to all people who had hurt and live my life with peaceful mind and share all my love in this world. Anyways I agree with you I really wanted to have some dog or cat but aside from the fact that I love to travel I am not allowed to have one on my unit though I can really do it but I don't want to obey the rules on my building.I have to go back home again next month nextmy dad will heading back home next month from overseas and we hardly seen each other but we always makes sure at least once a year apparently last year we never catch up I came back here early cos I had misunderstand with my half sisters and bro from the very first time and I always thought they will love for I do the same and always made an effort to show them that they really means a lot to me and they are my life. I don't wanted to see my step mum having hard time and totally confused and upset. I do admit I was wrong last december I race my voice and had no respect that time cos I was exhausted COS I am dealing with abusived and humiliated cancer man.. we never grow up hearing anyone swearing at home or any where and i just said F word to my younger sister and they take it too personal and I can't blame them and I already give my sincere apology and had suffer from the pain that I gave to them. Before I went home last week I received an email from my step mum sister who when back home last September unfortunately my one and only brother came home too and thats why I went back home to spend time with him. Everyone living overseas and still single only one sister married and had one 9yo, nephew.I thought the issues was gone and we get back to normal and we chatted most of the time. I was surprised to the letter and totally and humiliated ,treatining and I should be thankful cos my step mum allow me to step in our family and I had no right to get any inheretance and once i make another wrong move she will telling everything to m dad and for sure never be on my side. I am not scared seriously he had no interest with me I felt not equal every time we spending time together he only seeing me cos my step mum always reminding him that he owe a lot on me . I was affected but I'm so good heading my feeling and I swear to god I never once jealous to my sisters and brother. The only thing was that made me feel so obsess have my own happy family and i am will take any one to be a part of me if incase he was divorce or widow but much appreciated if he was single like me. lol Far out I was so pissed off and calling my step mum she cried cos she feels me that it was hurting me so much..my step mum never once treated me like a step daughter I swear to God my sisters and brother teasing me that step mum forgot that they are the original not me. I dunno Shuabby I honestly wanted to talk my dad I will tell him that I can sign a paper at anytime that I will not after to anything they have cos even my bro and sister was giving me a sign since then . My step mum always wanted us to be closed and keep loving each other but what can I do. I am so tired of giving my all and I really not expecting to give the same in return but a little bit of consideration love and affection as a sister or one of the family is more than enough for me. I am now tired pleasing , giving my all I now realized to at least save something for myself and for my own family especially to my biological mum that we never much spending time since I was a kid till now. I sometimes wanted to go back home and look after my mum but I had goal and a lot of chance here, God for me i always prayed to Almighty God to get my mum first before me cos I can easily see her situation if I am gone ... Oh Dear Shuabby all I wanted to do is to keep myself positive and focus on my goal GOD WILL HELP TO FIND AWAY ..
Big Big Hugs and Kisses
Shuabby I'd like to keep intouch with you in private but how and if it's okey to u