TAURUS MAN ignoring
I'm new here and arrived through a post quite similar to my one. But seeing as my situation is so unusual I thought I should open a new topic.
I'm a Leo woman, the guy in question is a Taurus (younger than me, as I saw that is the case with many Taurus men lol).
We aren't a couple, it's a bit impossible considering as we live in different countries.
Several months ago he added me on facebook through mutual friends and immediately started chatting. We reached a point we talked everyday, at first just friendly conversations (and of course a lot of 'poking') and quickly we started talking mainly about sex.
I flew to the UK then a month later (a long planned trip), and seeing as he lives there we met up for a show. A few days later we met again and this time we slept together and towards the end of my trip we met one final time for lunch.
We chatted everyday still, he txted me two hours after we slept together when I honestly thought I wouldn't hear from him again. During my trip he left for a week in Germany and even contacted me then daily.
Thing is it was never a relationship. He'd tell me about his successes and failures at pulling other girls (mind you he's quite a loser at that area and as far as I know he hasn't been with anyone since me) and I told him a little too. The last time we met was quite emotional. But then I left for a week in another country before returning back to my home country and even then we continued chatting daily.
All our talks which were mainly about sex were also quite descriptive for the next time we meet, as I was planning a trip back to the UK in February. And he was always saying how much he'd like to meet again.. I guess we considered each other as 'friends with benefits'.
As soon as I got back home almost 3 weeks ago, he changed. Started ignoring my messages for days, sometimes without replying at all, would barely start conversations himself, and even the poking pretty much stopped lol. He's been telling me he's really busy at work.
The first week since I came back was hard when he started acting like that, the few conversations we had were cold and short. I could sense he didn't want me to get into the fun sexual conversations we had before so I stopped myself. That same week when he was drunk we had another conversation like that and the following day I decided to be a bit forward and asked if the only reason he's like that is really just cos he's busy and since I asked he also said 'if I was seeing someone of course I would let you know'. He apologized immediately and said he hasn't been himself. To try and make him feel better because I was worried he might have gotten scared off by me (maybe he thought I have feelings for him) I told him I'm going on a date that week too so we should just be honest with each other.
That one conversation ended nicely. But then the next week was even worse.
We only talked once the next week and I started to realize just how much I miss him and how difficult this is for me. To top it off I realized I can't make it in February so I decided to change my plans to December or January and wanted to bring it up with him because I still thought we might meet.
At that weekend after he's been ignoring me so much that week I realized this is getting worse so I confronted him, said I thought we were good friends and I'm unsure what's changed. He apologized again, this time for being unfair to me. And said he wants to stay friends for sure, he just doesn't want the sex talk/forward planning anymore and wasn't sure what to say.
Being a proud Leo myself after I got drunk that night I asked him why, he didn't want to say but eventually said he's been having a hard time lately thinking about his life, relationships, etc..
Of course I agreed to respect his decision.
But the next week wasn't much better. I'd write hi on Sunday, he'd reply on Monday. Then we had a short, cold conversation which he left halfway through. I wrote hi again on Tuesday, and he replied on Wednesday. This time I decided to ignore him until I cracked today, on Friday and said I really miss having fun with him, to which he didn't reply so later I started a conversation with him (this time he replied) which was cold again, just about going out with friends.. and during which I actually felt the need to apologize for the nice 'I miss having fun with you' message I sent earlier and explained I've been going through a hard time too (but he doesn't know the main reason is him).
Now I'm not sure what my next move is. I'm not looking for commitment because I don't believe in long distance relationships. I just really miss the way he was. We had so much fun together, at least I thought, and I'd like to believe there's some way I can make it happen again. I'd still like to meet him next time and I'm actually afraid to ask now cos I'm worried he will say no. When we did talk about future planning we were planning stuff that I doubt many people do to be honest lol because when I'm there I felt a lot more carefree and open and want to make the most of it and I felt I finally found a partner for it. It's like he went completely 180 degrees and I'm worried it won't change back.
I know I should ignore him more but I get scared he'll forget me. Also being a Leo I get paranoid and dramatic and well, I really do miss him (I won't lie, I do have feelings for him). Every one keep telling me to leave it, unfriend him and be done with it but it's impossible for me right now. But all I really care is the future. I could not talk to him for 2 months if I knew we were going to meet in December or January for sure.
So can any Taurus men or anyone who know Taurus men well tell me, did I blow it all off already with my neediness? What should be my next move - when should I ask him about the trip (cnsidering I need to book my flight tickets as early as November 1st if I do decide to go in December and that if I don't talk to him in advance he might not be able to come meet me due to work or previous engagements)? Should I ignore him? Should I continue to write to him every other day to feed his ego when he treats me like this? And what could possibly be the reason if he's telling the truth and doesn't have anyone else (seeing as I mentioned before, he doesn't get lucky often with the ladies)? And what I want the most is just to be able to be honest and direct, say I had a good time with him, I want to again despite the fact we said we won't do the future planning and just want to know if he wants to meet again - is that something that would completely scare a Taurus off? How can I make him chase me again?
and I'm sorry for the really long post. Seeing as my situation is so different I felt the need to tell you guys everything
oh and maybe I should mention that he mentioned his ex left him, he seemed to be still hurt by that, I figured maybe he's scared of people deserting him. Also he mentioned numerous times he really isn't looking for a relationship at the moment considering he works and studies all the time.
vircheery last edited by
Think your intuition or your inner voice already you probably this guy got tired and lost the challenge after he got what he wanted. Now simply just lost the spark already. I think he is not just into you . Many women fell onto this and left hole in the heart without a proper answer into this.. bc guys r jerks.
shadowmist last edited by
aqalqalon take a look at this thread about tauruses it might help. and your problem is not that different sounds just like a taurus male he is still bitter about his ex and probably always will be
Vircheery, I would agree but seeing as it's so difficult for me I still want to believe it can change. Especially as it wasn't meant to be a difficult, committed relationship but just a bit of fun.
shadowmist, I started reading some of the posts there then noticed it's 91 pages long! lol he might be bitter, but what does it say about me? I mean, I don't want a relationship with the guy, if anything if the bitterness thing is why it's so difficult fr him to start a relationship he should want and need me in his life even more considering I live abroad and just want to have some fun.
and looks like yesterday was the first time he got drunk since we started talking without even trying to contact me (I mentioned he's British.. so he gets drunk quite a lot)
where are all the tauruses? guys i really need help. i know this isn't a relationship but i care about him, and this is all i can think about lately. it really depresses me.
also i wonder if when i ask about my next trip if i should be honest, and talk about the plans we had before (well, be dirty) or be more vague? cos personally as a leo i prefer the direct approach but not sure about leos, plus i fear i'd either scare him off or make him think i'm desperate.. which i am kinda but don't want him to think that lol
youretheocean last edited by
All I can say is "run." Even though it started out as "friends with benefits" clearly something has changed within him and I'm not sure if you can reignite that spark that you had with him. Believe me, I may not be a taurus but, I've dealt with one and he was bitter about his ex, as well. Also, I became intimate with him and he changed afterwards but, still talked to me. However, I noticed that he slowly pulled away until I did a little snooping and found out he started dating someone new. Not to assume that the same thing happened to your taurus but, you never know...Let's just say that what started out "casual" for me became full-blown serious for me. I started developing strong feelings for him. It seems that taurus men leaves an impression on the ladies and this one especially...I wish you the best with whatever decision you decide to take.
I have feelings but not expecting commiment, if he had someone else he'd tell me because I honestly would just wish him luck.
I just read so many topics about tauruses taking time off that I'd like to think that this is, in fact, just time off and he will be back as his old self.. maybe I'm too optimistic.
shadowmist last edited by
Ah yes the selfish egocentric, pity me, and yes they will stray - bitter to the end taurus male on the flip side they can be fun to be with as long as things run smooth I have been with my taurus for 13 yrs - they can be very insecure and are very high maintenance just remember to take care of yourself first when you do things for yourself they come back
so ignoring really is the key? i wish i had longer time til my next flight. it'll be a shame if i fly and we still stay like this and then don't meet.
i did notice when i wouldn't write in a few days he'd try to chat. and when i'd say hi and then he'd reply and i wouldn't, he'd write again later. as if, worried i got my mind off him.
i just really wanna bring the topic of my next flight up so if he does decide he wants to meet at least we'll have the possibility. and think i won't write til the weekend and then mention it in a 'bytheway just so you know' sort of way, but then unsure how direct or how vague should i go about this, because i don't wanna seem too desperate but do want to sound fun and a bit of a change to how we've been lately.. we used to be so direct about these things we planned for next time.
Taurus woman here....
I hear these terms "Selfish and Egocentric" used quite often when describing both Taurus men and women.
All 'single' Tauruses are selfish. Besides taking care of our loved ones, family members, close friends, and ourselves...who else is there?
Why should someone who isn't going to be a permanent part of our lives be given the same treatment as our loved ones?
In a flourishing relationship, it's quite the contrary, we love hard, fully commit, and carry the burdens so that our partners wouldn't have to. We're very generous, affectionate and loving. Our only goal is to make you happy.
We have difficulties communicating, but if we feel that we can trust you, we let it all out!
If you want to get closer to us....
1. Avoid indecisiveness/flakiness
2. Avoid being pretentious/arrogant/oppressive/rude. We absolutely H-A-T-E this! We're fighters for the 'underdogs.' We love to fix the injustices of the world, and assist people who are being mistreated.
3. Don't expect the benefits of a relationship with your Taurus, if you're not in a relationship with your Taurus. Yes. We can separate the two. Can you?
4. Avoid being too pushy. Only we can be the deciding factors to finally resume a relationship. Tauruses are slow to initiate a relationship, respect it or leave it alone.
5. We can be very insecure ( it's just cleverly hidden), avoid trying to make him jealous, lose your single male friends, and avoid any contact with your exes. You may not know this, but he may be already checking up on you.
6. Avoid drama or confrontation. Do this, and he will look for the quickest exit.
Why should someone who isn't going to be a permanent part of our lives be given the same treatment as our loved ones?
With Tauruses, we make foolish mistakes when we're young. But we grow to learn from our mistakes rather quickly. No repetitive BS for us!
If we don't see longevity.
Then this individual is not worth our time, or efforts....or worth anything else that we have to offer.
And we offer A LOT!
It's all or nothing with us.
Respect it, or keep it pushing!
TaurusFemmeFatale, I don't think he's selfish or egocentric. I just don't really understand why he backed off all of a sudden cos I thought it was great. I'm very good at making people feel great about themselves, I was always paying him compliments. He was very much into meeting again and then it just changed. Perhaps due to me saying I might have a date that week? I dunno, he certainly changed even more the next day after that chat.
I never went on that date bytheway but nowadays the few chats we do have are so cold and short I can't even talk about things like that. We just talk rugby and music
The question is now do I need to back off, give him some time, and when would it be best - considering we used to chat every day then moved to 2-3 times a week - to contact him again and how can I suggest meeting again? I know he enjoyed last time, he was going on about it for ages, and I still want the next time to happen, just not sure how to approach it now since he asked we don't talk about sex anymore or future planning (by future planning I think he just meant the dirty chats we'll have about what we'll do, so I dunno if that means he also doesn't want to meet at all.. cos honestly if he doesn't I'd just say bye and delete him).
I wanted to either send him a very direct yet fun message to give him a taste of how we used to be, and hope he'll want to meet, but that could sound a little desperate (I don't mind showing it if anyone can give me their opinion) and then I dunno, maybe I should be more vague.
Messanger last edited by
ok, I am a Leo woman married to a Taurus man for 22yrs...don't bs him, Taurus men are very sensitive, when they love they love with all their heart...he might not be over his ex, especially since she left him...have u ever talk about this with him...or are u more concerned about talking sex and having fun?? Didn't he give u what u wanted....fun? so he isn't giving u his heart, and maybe he has withdrawn because he started to have true feelings for u, only to find out that u were going out on another date with someone new...bad...don't tell Taurus men these things, they are way too sensitive for those situations...u have hurt him, and his heart has already been through alot with his ex, only to have u come into his life and tell him u just wanna have fun...Taurus' are not the "fun" type of people, they truly are worthy of family and loving relationships, so don't waste his time if u are not on board as relationship material...and I'm sure u would feel the same way if the tables were turned and u were the one seeking a relationship...Taurus' will not tell u flat out that u r the one...he needs to hear this from u first, they don't want to feel vulnerable to anyone, yet are completely internally insecure with themselves...until YOU validate him with u'r feelings...This is not a game, either u'r in, or u'r out, and You my dear need to decide this right now, cause he isn't going to be just friends with you, not after you have had s.e.x with him...Taurus' put all their emotions into their full performance of s.e.x . It isn't s.e.x. with them, it's making love!! He probably thought u were truly into him and so he slept with u, only to find out that u weren't really that into him, so he is pulling away from u...he is probably feeling like u r gonna play him the way his ex did...u need to be the bigger person here and either tell him everything of how u feel, and that u just wanna be friends so that he can move on aswell, cause I am telling u that he is really into u but he will not tell u this...he is protecting his heart at this moment...don't play with it cause u can...move on but tell him u had a wonderful time, and that he will be forever an impact in u'r life...they are hopeless romantic's, u need to treat him like prince charming, and let prince charming down with love, not pain...find someone else to have u'r fun with and when u r truly ready for a committed relationship and a husband, call him up, and see where he is in life...but remember u do have to let him go, and he might just find someone who is ready, willing, and able to complete him, as he will her....No drama girl, those firey emotions need to be scaled back...this isn't about your physically, as u havent' displeased him in that way...but u'r Taurus has respect for u, and that is why he doesn't want to talk sex with u anymore, he feels for u on a different level now...a wife level in a sense...that is a compliment...if he didn't respect u, he would treat u like a w.h.o.r.e, and continue to do just that....not that u r, but u know what I mean...he wants to remember u in a wonderful way...they only like the dirty talk in the bedroom, and he doesn't see u as that anymore, because he doesn't want to grow any attachment with u, as u have already told him it is all in good fun...again, these are not the men to do this with...good luck sweetie...
Messanger, well I do have feelings for him but whenever I say something somewhat emotionally lately he'd block up.. In my final message to him I was tempted to mention in a way that I haven't been with anyone since or that I didn't go on that date (because I didn't at the end, felt that I couldn't) and hoped if it is somehow connected to it then maybe we'd put it behind us.. and I did talk to him about his ex. I recall the first time we met I said something like I don't understand why you're so shy you could have anyone you want (because he literally doesn't talk in real life) and he said 'that's what my ex said when she dumped me' and then another time when I asked what he's looking for, if really a relationship or what because he mentioned her once or twice, he said if anything she made him sure he doesn't want a relationship yet.
Have I told you over and over again how 'gifted' you are in interpreting the Taurus behavior?
I know I have...
Just couldn't help it
i sent him the message about my next trip being either december or january.. and he replied saying december is very hectic for me (and even said why) but that january is more likely to be free.
i'm guessing he's at least somewhat interested in meeting again so i'm glad. i'll give him time off now til i know when i fly for sure.
LeoLady22 last edited by
I know you haven't posted on this thread in a while, but I came across it, and was hoping I might be able to reach you. I previously posted my situation on another thread and received some great advice, but I thought you might have some additional insight, since I am a Leo too : )
I am a 30 year-old Leo involved with a [30 year-old] Taurus man. Everything you have said in your previous posts has resonated with me so much, as I see so many of the traits you describe in my Taurus. That being said, I was hoping you might weigh in on my current situation. I am struggling with the decision to hold onto this man or to let him go.
I met my Taurus 4 years ago through a mutual friend. At the time, he was dating someone else, and we lived 3,000 miles from one another. In spite of these factors, we struck up an instant friendship and became email pals. I loved the clever and funny messages he would send me and the fact that we were getting to know each other in this way (I am an English major and a sucker for words!). Once his situation changed, we made it a point to visit one another. Our relationship did become physical on the visits. We never pursued anything further given our geography, but often addressed the "what if" factor, and kept in-touch. Last July, I moved to a city only 2 hours away from him. I have seen him six times since I have been here. We chat everyday and often text. When we do see each other, we fall into the roll of "playing" boyfriend/girlfriend for a weekend, and then go back to our respective lives but maintain our contact. During a visit last November, I expressed my confusion to him over our situation. I felt very strongly (and still do) that we needed more real-life time with one another to see where we were headed. I was not asking him for a commitment; just the reassurance that we were going somewhere and that he is willing to put in that effort. Our discussion turned into a tearful mess, with him telling me that he was not going to let me go, but that he was not ready to settle down yet either. I was completely confused. We seemed to work through that, however, and resumed our pattern of talking nearly everyday.
Now, here we are in March. Three weeks ago, he came to visit me. We had a weekend full of cuddling, hugging, kissing, and genuine fun. It was low-key and relaxing, and I felt that we had FINALLY turned a corner. While visiting, he invited me to his city to run in a 15K (we both love to run) together, taking place today. In short, I arrived yesterday, and my Taurus man was acting completely different than he had on our last visit. There was no touching or affection, and although we were having a great time, I felt that we were merely friends again. I know I have to be gentle with him, but I am also a bold - often stubborn and impetuous Leo, used to being chased - so I knew I had to address his behavior too. We joke about the fact that he processes and I react. I told him that I felt uncomfortable, and that I was left confused by his actions. In the conversation that ensued, he told me again, that he is not ready for a committed, monogamous relationship with anyone. He said that there are times that he is unsure of our future. In the next breath, he told me he loved me, and that he could see a future with us someday, but he felt guilty telling me that so as not to give me "false hope". I started to cry, and he said he wanted to comfort me, but was scared of showing emotion, again on account of the "false hope" factor. He explained to me that he needs a lot of time to decide about what is right in his life, and apologized for hurting me. I told him that I care deeply for him, and that I would miss him terribly if he were not in my life, but that I need to take care of myself too, and not continue on this crazy roller coaster. He was quiet (as he says, "internalizing"), but willing to let me go too. We fell asleep on separate sides of the bed, and this morning, I left before the run. He asked me not to leave, twice, but my Leo pride wouldn't let me stay.
All of that being said, this man has my heart. Yes, we are confusing, and erratic, and really different in approach, but connect in a way that I personally never have with anyone else. I am not an entirely typical Leo and love my creature comforts and equally love being in nature, so we have very similar interests too. I believe we could have the fairytale together, but struggle with our day-to-day. I wonder if I am being a fool for keeping someone in my life who has blatantly expressed that they do not want a relationship. And while I appreciate his honesty, it hurts me when he says he is unsure of us.
My question to you is, do I stay or do I go? I told my Taurus not to contact me, as I need some space. We have had that conversation before though, and like magic, he always reappears in my life. If he needs time to grow and mature, I can handle that, but I cannot continue to go on with him, and I am certainly not going to wait for the day he is ready. I am thinking of cutting him off completely, if only to protect myself from the constant hurt.
I am sad and mad and confused all at once. Any advice you could give me would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much in advance!!!