Seeking Help from AstraAngel
I haven't been on this site for several months. Just going through some of your responses to cries for help, I am hoping that you can help me too. I am in a situation that's been very painful and seeking guidance from the spirits on what will be the final outcome and resolution.
I'm sorry to impose and will understand if you are too busy.
I am glad to help. Can you give me more info, or you want me to go ahead with a general life reading? Whatever you prefer.
I'm so happy to hear from you. My bday is Mar. 15, 1964. My dilemma is regarding a man name Bob (Jan. 1, 1951). His partner passed away two days after giving birth to their premature daughter in 2004. I spent a year of my life helping him raise his daughter. Fast forward to a few years, we no longer talk. I feel I am still spiritually connected to him and his daughter who I finally saw last Friday after a 3 year absence. I have a lot of feelings for him and I do not know how this will all end. I hope the spirits can provide some guidance. I've recently done some reiki and have sought advice from psychics. Some things have transpired, but sometimes I get anxious and not sure what's going to happen. I miss both of them. Can you provide some direction. Many thanks and blessings.
Hey RK Dreamer
I will simply start laying some cards down and let you know what I feel about you...
Queen of Cups - I saw this even before this card showed up. This is you, your heart is very open to love. You long for this place in life where you can love deeply. You must have found that with this man and his daughter. You really were in love and enjoyed so much being in that role. I can imagine this has been so hard for you, trying to disconnect from that situation, I can see how much you are still "there" with him spiritually. You are this Queen of love.
The High Priestess - Yet another clue to you, and to this situation. Very spiritual you are, and so composed. You have let situations in life (like this) come and go and you have held you peace, and remained so quiet, and trusted heaven to somehow sort it all out. Rather then enter into confrontational situations in any way. You are immersed in this very quiet energy, very tender and like a little wild rose in the woods, you only want to be that rose, and long for life situations that allow you to brighten up the world of others.
The Hanged Man - this affair as it left your life caused some serious soul searching on your part. You were forced to reevaluate your concept of love. For you gave everything you had into that place, with him and his daughter. You left feeling very emotionally drained, and it made no sense. this in turn has resulted in a lot of tears, and also a lot of growth. Funny how that works.
The Fool - now we are moving closer to the present. The fool. Hmm. This tells me that deep down you would love to be given this opportunity again, either with him, or perhaps in another situation. A new love even would be wonderful, it hasn't happened though. You would love it however! You felt head over heals in love with him, and it all looked so sweet. You may have left feeling like a fool though, all of that effort and giving, and you have carried this with you, it could be blocking your ability to move on to a new situation. After that much emotional gifting to others, a person can be left near to death, and be rather careful about future involvements. So we can tend to cling to the past and it is very difficult to move forward to the new.
Seven of Wands - So this Fool finds herself battling internally.. your own spiritual energies can sometimes war within yourself... you are struggling to understand, why? Why would I be swept into such a nice place in life that felt so right, only to be cast aside, and have that door closed? This makes no sense... you are praying a LOT, and searching for answers, anything, you mentioned the reiki, and that has helped... some... still this pain, these memories refuse to fade. This sees you still courageously being willing to face the matter as much as is needed, before the tribunals of Heaven to find some answer that makes sense.
Eight of Cups - So, you find yourself repeatedly telling yourself, "hey RK, MOVE ON! You are kicking yourself for even allowing these memories and this situation to continue to occupy the place it does in your life! You have tried. Some days you even tell yourself, it is behind me finally! Time to move on. Then you wake up the next morning, and a moment you remember with him, and holding his daughter sweeps back over you, and the tears start to fall again. So much for moving on huh? That is your heart, you are so right you are still back there, and connected. This is painful no two ways about it.
Four of Swords - Rest. Now we seem to be coming to where you are really at, or some counsel. This card takes everything that has transpired, the pain of the three swords, the tears of the Eight Cups, and the futility of trying to arrive at a conclusion... and she folds her hands over her heart and lays down. And rests. And places her hope in something.. up there, out there... that she can't even put a name to. This is raw, pure faith you are in right now. WIthout labels, without religion and even without "spirituality". All of that is falling away. And you are left alone and quiet, without even trying to "be" spiritual, or anything. You are simply being quiet and willing to rest and wait.
I believe this to be a key to understanding why this has been allowed to happen in your life. You are a very, very spiritual person and because os that, your concepts and ideas about life can be so important to you, that it can also interfere. It is a difficult place to be, where our spiritual "works" don't work. And the pain remains. Do you see? I can relate, I am the same way. A lot of sword energy which is all about "fixing" things. Sometimes life isn't something that can be fixed. It is what it is. Leaving you with...
Judgment - A choice you are now faced with. A decision to trust that Heaven has a beautiful plan in this situation, even though from every angle you can't SEE a plan! That is "the white hole of faith". It is where you find out what you really believe about Spirit. Or Spirits. Or God, or whatever your concept is that has developed over the course of your life. Now... you get to find out what is substantial and real for you. The question I keep hearing RKDreamer is.. "will you trust me, nevertheless?" That is the question that our lives keep pulling us to, and it appears to require something so painful and so heartbreaking and so bittersweet... that in that place we wish we could just die and be done with it. You have felt that, and so have I. I wish it were some other way. It seems to be our path.
There was a man 2,000 years ago who hung dying from a couple of pieces of wood, and cried out "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" In that moment, He said what we all feel in life. You ask me, THAT was the resurrection. Why? Because he revealed his humanity, and how much hurt he was feeling. It was where faith left him. And then... he couldn't really come down, he was stuck in that place. The Bible says he could have called angels to rescue him. I am not so sure about that. He was nailed and dying, and could not leave! Because that is the place we all find ourselves in life, hurting, bleeding to death. And we can't fix it! We can't come down from our cross, whatever this place of pain is... we have no choice except to hang there...
... then, this man of Galilee said something that showed his true heart of faith. He said "Father forgive them..." and then he was able to rest at last. Then he gave up his spirit and that... would be the beginning of his new life to come. The bible makes a big deal about it, like he rose from the grave. That is a "picture" of how each of us DOES HAVE A NEW LIFE waiting for us. Something very beautiful that we can't see from this side of our pain.
That is what I see for you RK.. that on "this side" of your painful experience, you can't comprehend the wonder, life and beauty of what is in store for you. None of us can! All we feel is pain, and tears... "My God... Heaven... Universe... WHY is this happening to me? Why would you allow this to come into my life? What possible reason is there for this experience that has drained my hope from me? " that is all you feel. And guess what? That is EXACTLY what you need to feel, in order to fully go through your death and resurrection. Jesus HAD to say those words, he had to lose his faith completely and become a normal man in that moment. In that moment, he basically lost his faith in God and became like any one us. NOT perfect. His flaw was revealed and God finally got down to where he lived. It happens to spiritual people like that.
We try so hard to be strong, and we put on a pretty good show. You put on a pretty good show too RK. We all do that. I will find my answers, I will keep the faith, I will learn Reiki and Tarot and Astrology and whatever... and we run away from admitting how busted up we really are. We can lose ourselves in our spirituality and think we are on the right road. When, the reality is, the "real road" is being ourselves and admitting that I have NO FAITH and I am hurting really bad, and could sure use a friend... it is painful as H3LL, and that seems to be where "the Spirits" keep dragging us.
My thought for you RKDreamer (and I am giving this advice to myself and to anyone who happens to read this) is to let it all hang out. be yourself. Be broken and don't pretend that it can be any other way. And also... forgive. That was the next piece of the puzzle for this man 2,000 years ago. He forgave, because once he admitted his loss of faith, he realized in a split instant that all of this religious order he had fought with in his three year ministry, was not his problem. HE was the problem. And once he was able to lose his faith and be himself, he saw that all of these people who he thought were trying to kill him were there to help him FIND HIMSELF and become the person he was meant to be. Loving all, and not just the little crowds that were attracted to him.
And so, that is what we have to do, forgive freely. ANd in your situation it is probably called for to forgive this man whenever he comes back to mind. I believe The Spirits lead us back, over and over to certain people and memories for that very reason. There is some forgiveness required there. We may not "think" we have a reason to forgive, however when someone has hurt us by their actions, forgiveness is required. For their sake? No, for ours. So forgiveness is required. And should heaven provide an opportunity to see this man again, I would look him right in the eyes and say to him, I FORGIVE YOU. " When you do that, something will break and you can move on into the NEW LIFE THAT HEAVEN HAS FOR YOU! Because that is the truth, you have something very transcendent and sweet and wonderful awaiting you! I don't know exactly what that is, I do know it will be fulfilling and lovely on a scale you can't see on this side of the pain you feel.
In the same way a butterfly can't comprehend what it will be once it emerges from that chrysalis, that is you and I. What comes next in our lives is beautiful beyond words, and we simply have no way to believe for it! All we know is this pain, this past event, these tears... and our heart breaking. And we think, "My GOD, My God, please, please, please remove this from me." He can't though. Any more than he can remove the transitional time of the caterpillar becoming a butterfly! Because Heaven has something so wonderful for you. And will comfort you in any way possible as you wait. However wait you must as we all have to.
It is the way caterpillars become butterflies, and that is what is happening to you RKDreamer. It is what is happening to all of us. There is no "healing" for that place you are in, other than being willing to forgive and simply bear up under the pain, with the grace of heaven raining down on you.
That caterpillar also went to reiki classes and psychics and tarot readers... in the hopes of being healed of this painful Chrysalis he was spinning. They couldn't really help him, all they could say was "hey, it will work out.. wait and see!"
So the bottom line is "hang in there". Be willing to hang from a tree limb while you await your resurrection. You are almost there. You're close! Forgive and love with abandon is about all I can tell you. And know that something very, very beautiful is coming into your life soon.
"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us." -Romans 8:18
Heaven bless you RKDreamer,
love and peace from above, you will be the most beautiful butterfly of all!
Let's meet up and fly around together okay?
That was beautifully said. You are right that I am in a period of waiting. I did lose faith two years ago. I even said it aloud. Sometimes I feel that the punishment is the pain for having lost faith. I would welcome the chance for this man and this child to come back into my life. Wait is what I do because I trust what the tarot and pyschic readers have told me...that they shall return. After several years of waiting, I finally saw the little girl again one week ago. I had not seen her for three years. I cried when I saw her. The psychic predicted this, and they had predicted a long wait. There is one psychic who have told me a few things that I have been able to verify (i.e. she saw a white wired bed and I had forgotten that when the litle girl was born prematurely, she was placed in a white "wired" crib at the hospital) and have connected with the spirit of the little girl's mother who is happy that I have seen Hana. So, my faith has restored that what is meant to happen will happen. Just not in tthe timeframes I would like.
You are absolutely right that I need to forgive him. I've tried and I say it aloud, but I think that I need to fully forgive him in my heart before we could ever reconnect. Otherwise neither him or myself would be ready to meet up again.
Do you get any sense whether these two people will ever reenter my life? Is this part of my glory?
"Do you get any sense whether these two people will ever reenter my life? Is this part of my glory?"
Four of Wands - Yes absolutely, this looks like a BIG YES to me to your question.
"Is this part of my glory?"
King of Pentacles - Yes, in that his glory, attainments wealth and whatever he represents becomes a part of your domain. He appears be quite successful.
Seven of Cups - seeing you again has his wheel turning so fast the wheels are about to come off his wagon. He knows his daughter loves you and he knows in his heart that the late mother of that child has spoken to him that you are to be her expression of love in Hana's life. That is your DIVINE PLACE I am sensing that very strong.
TWO of CUPS - YES! This situation is about to open big time for you, be ready be ready be ready is all I hear. A move and that will come quick sweeping you off your feet. This man is under a lot of dreams about you, he sees you with him and he sees something very beautiful with you and him, and Hana. This looks like Heaven has simply been preparing you, and him, mostly him. The pain of the death was a major shock to him and he has had to heal from that slowly and surely, before he could be ready to welcome you into his heart. And life
Knight of Swords - He is going to be showing up at your door very soon. Like within ten days to two weeks and matters will progress from there. Quickly.
Advice for you right now - THE CHARIOT - Be ready to be lifted off into something so wonderful that you can hardly believe it is all happening, A lot of love and lot of tears of happiness for all involved. I see a trip, a cruise, something where you all three take a reality break soon and have the time of your lives. Buy some nice sandals, you are going somewhere warm and sunny and very bright. Some good shades wouldn't hurt either.
Blessings RKFDreamer this all feels wonderful to me, I have prayed that everything go do wonderfully for you and him and dear Hana.
(Photo courtesy of morgue file on the world wide web)
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Just gotta keep the faith up. I'm soooooooo looking forward to a holiday somewhere warm. And even better with the people who you care about. I will keep you updated when things start to move.
BTW, your assessment of the King of Pentacles is correct. I often draw this card on my own and I usually attribute it to Bob. He's successful in busisness and financially comfortable, as far as I know.
Much blessing to you and thank you so much for your prayers.
I wanted to give you an update since your last reading. I contacted Bob in December. He actually responded back. He hasn't done that in two years. The response was neither positive nor negative. He just asked me to stop creating distractions (i.e. rumors) because he's doing the best he can regarding his daughter. Not sure if I agree with him. Instead of taking his daughter to visit her grandparents in Europe, he entrusted the filipino nanny to the child to the Philippines instead. Bob joined them a week later. I think given the fact that he has no friends, and has alienated family, there wasn't much festivity at home. I also heard that the nanny had an argument with a parent of daughter's friend over some pick up time after a playdate. Bob doesn't set boundaries. This causes problems because this nanny has done similar things to me and others.
I did tell Bob in my email that I have forgiven me, that I do love him, and that I hope good people will come into his life. He didn't respond to this part.
Do you have any sense how this email has impacted our paths. I get so confused by different readings. Some say that he's returning. Others say he's not. It's been such a painful long journey. Going on 7 years now.
Can you give me an update on what's going on?
Okay let's take a look.
"how this email has impacted our paths?"
I drew the Wheel of Fortune so that seems to be saying that it is causing something to change, turn around. Which direction its turning I am not sure.
Three of Pentacles - seems to be having a positive influence in someone's work, yours or his. Or it could mean that something is working in your favor. This is a very positive card in the material realm so it seems to be saying (so far) that your email is having a positive influence in the material work realm. Seems kinda odd to me but that what's I'm getting.
Page of Pentacles. Hmm... another Pentacle, and this one is a person, or a message, in a letter, gift package, parcel, envelope, something is being delivered to you that is a result of this email you sent. Nothing yet in the emotional area, all I am getting are good Pentacles and a young person or a lady, a princess. Could be you.
Ace of Wands. This is very positive. Something beginning in choices, spiritual matters, creativity, fire and energetic beginnings. So far we have your email has indeed caused an influence that is a positive development in something material that could be making its way back to you, a letter by mail is what I am getting.
And that in turn causes a significant choice to be made, that is an entirely new path or course for you. This is fascinating.
Ten of Pentacles. Wow! This is "the" card of material success that envelops all areas, finances and love and relationship and speaks to generations being affected and inheritance somehow. So whatever is developing is leading you into a new phase of life (is what I get) which takes you into a very, very affluent and rich and lovely setting that is about as secure and prosperous as you can get.
All of these nice pents tells me that good things, and I mean REALLY good things are coming your way, success in some new way that must be a direct result of that three pentacles.
It's possible that all of this has nothing to do with your email but is simply a path opening up for you that is a new richness in your life. Are you in the midst of something new in work or career that you are working toward? New job, work, something financial?
Six of Wands. Holy smokes! This is like everything we have just seen is taking you to Success Avenue, like Fifth avenue in NYC (hey the GIants just one maybe its all connected), and public recognition.
This is a rather amazing string of cards Ruth, you are certainly stepping into a very prosperous time in your life that will have you jumping for joy.
I am curious though, is really connected with Bob? Do you two share something materially, investments, property, real estate, stocks and bonds, mutual funds, 401k's... all of this is pointing to some sort of windfall or material success that is astronomical in proportions.
Knight of Pentacles, well, it does seem connected to him. Either that or you are about to meet, fall in love and enjoy the company of an extremely wealthy man who is going to be chasing you around the dinner table.
How does that sound? Is Bob wealthy? Or... do you know another gentleman who you sense has an eye for you - and he is wealthy? You are stepping into good fortune that is for certain!
This is a very exciting reading for you!
Love and light,