Spiritual Boot Camp - Part Three

  • I have to do that too abetterplace, your not alone there. I get through thinking some day my kids will be grown and I won't have to clean up so much, my mom is ocd about cleaning, and I use to be that way too, it would nice to strike a balance.

  • bluecat123 My kids are all gone and the mess is all mine. I did think that it would be better once they were gone but I have not found that to be true, I need a balance too.

  • I could see that being me in the future, I don't picture it that way, but my energy level , focus is mine alone, so I can could defintly see myself not wanting to tackle overwhelming clutter ten years from now. I use to pay my friend t help, but I found that to be to expensive for what was and wasn't getting accomplished, friends, money, and clutter don't mix well I learned:) So now I'm on my own with it, I know how overwhelming it be. People say make the kids help, I'm pretty sure theres a good reason why that quickly gos out the window, I'll know it again the next time I try to get them to help out, I probably spend more time trying to keep them focused on the task. Can your daughter come over and help start it? sometimes its easier when someone is there to cheer you on. I have helped friends do it, just to help out, I found it easier to tackle their clutter then my own for some reason. I'm cleaning my basement tonight and I hate it! Theres so much stuff that is not mine, I have no clue to where to put it lol, then there is the endless stack of papers that are mine ugh, I feel your pain!

  • Scully all this time I thought you were a taurus for some reason, are you an aries?

  • Abetterplace, have you achieved everything you wanted in this lifetime?

  • Bluecat, one woman's trash is another woman's treasure. Make sure you are earning some money for what you would otherwise toss out. Garage or eBay sales?

  • Captain I don't think I have accomplished my goals of getting and giving love. I also am not sure that I have actually faced the pain of rejection. I seem to function well but then have this nagging thought "have you really faced it and have you learned anything" I fear not seeing the lessons of this life.

    I also need to work on not judging my youngest daughter regarding her money management and I need to stop saving her from the repercussions. I just need to stop being "mother" to her. I can see my mom in my reactions to her.

  • bluecat I am cleaning the family room between my posts. My oldest daughter helps at times but they live out of state. She is ruthless with the dumpsters. It is a beautiful thing. I did the ebay thing for a while and made some pretty good money. It dawned on me I was looking for things to bring home to list on ebay so it was seld defeating. Makes my house sound like a pig sty which it is not, but there just seems to be alot of stuff so maybe I am in a transition time.

  • I understand that, a lot of people who look around find clutter aren't filthy at all, they were just on to other things at the time it was compiling, my clutter is still very sanitary, everything gets sanatized, just not removed yet

  • Thats a good idea Captain, if it didn't sell I could atleast provide someone with something they might want or need I suppose. My boyfriend was going to throw out the old washer and I told him to sell it instead, hey 50 bucks is 50 bucks, and it did still work, he has a lot of old pc's, and gadgets, techincal stuff just all over the place, he planned on fixing them I think, but I fear they may become obselete before that happens. I've told him its not to late to sell his old Halloween costumes, but he thinks it is, I wish he woudl realize atleast sometimes I could possibly be right about something, are leos always right?

  • Bluecat123 LOL I can create that vision and it makes me laugh outright.. I do think my paper piles could be pregnant though. Or they are naughty when no one is keeping an eye on them.

  • No Bluecat, Leos just THINK they are always right. 🙂

  • Abetterplace, you are showing your love by worrying about your children but perhaps you could express it more in a cuddle than criticism?

  • I think sometimes our childrens opinions matters so much to us, they get us right where it counts and vise versa, we want their happiness, and as they get older they want ours

  • That certainly would be a better way but she makes such unwise decisions that she struggles with her finances and she shouldn't have to. She then calls for help. I know she doesn't want advice she wants to be saved or validated. Maybe I'm a Leo at heart as I think I'm right but I feel crappy after we have one of those sessions.

    We do our children a great disservice by not having a good basic money and home management class in school.. Some seem to get it naturally and some don't. I will try to just be supportive. She is the least critical of all of the kids and has the hardest life. I guess I just need to accept sometimes they just need to be.

    It is true the people we are closest to have the most power to please, worry or hurt us

  • I bought my child several very nice things for Christmas last year, they are all lost now, left here or there, he wants more, I bought my other child the same things, she still has them all, shes the responsible one, and asks for very little, it does seem to come naturally to her, but not to him. I agree we have to teach teach them how to do it, why they aren't doing it in school is beyond me, they are teaching my son how to sew an apron and a pot holder, carve something into wood, why not money management? and no foreign language here until highschool? sad. I am working on allowance now, as I can see it will be later if we don't. Sounds like your daughter does want to be saved for right now, I was like that with my dad when I was very young, now I would gladly take the advice, its very valuable later on:)

  • Yes, our schools don't seem to be set up to help us with the really important things in managing our lives.

    Sometimes the best things we can do for our children is to let them learn by their mistakes.

  • Bluecat.. Tureen what made you think that?

    Icon he he. Deferentially a Arian..

  • Btw way you have crab icon,, i thought you to be a pieces?

  • I guess I'm living a compromised existence. I was reading the introduction and asking myself the questions, I was feeling OK with the way things are going and then went to facebook to see what the friends are doing. Well the ex had a new posting about his perm move. I know it's perm. He took all of his stuff and this is not new information. Although he hasn't totally left my mind I am generally past dwelling on it and I am seeking new happiness. My inner reaction is like this is the first I've heard it and reliving the rejection. The pain must be there deep down or I wouldn't be feeling like this. Should I make myself keep facing this or not. Will it help me find a new and better place either way. Gosh finding ones self is a difficult task

    Why do I feel like he put it there for me to see. If he did then why would he do that.

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