A question for you Taurus women
Hello, i have a sister Taurus i am virgo, this is my situation: we were inseparable until our stepfather used her against me.. After i step out of my silence about him molesting md.. Somehow she didnt believe me.. And she believed him,. And my mother as well.. They say all kinds of things about me. I know she is a victim as well of their lies.. But i feel betrayed by my sister, i would have never turn against her like she did.. She now talk to everybody ufle things about me.. She hates me.. And its really painful when i have to stay away for my own good.. But didnt have to loose my relationship with my sister . And the having to deal with all the things she have done to hurt me.. The other day after 6 years of no comunication.. She send me a short email for my birthday. But she wrote this: "even though you have done many things to hurt me, i love you and i miss you, happy birthday. And that was it.
I am a Taurus woman and a mother. Firstly, let me say that I am so sorry to hear that you were abused and left unprotected by your mother. As the mother of a daughter, I would never have allowed anyone to hurt her in any way and would have left with my child or children immediately. The step father, well he would have had a free ride in a police car to jail and I would have made certain he was prosecuted and imprisoned for his deeds. I do not understand why your sister or mother pulled away from you, because from your comments above, they both are victims of this man's abuse as well. Perhaps your mother did so from the aspect of financial security from this man's income. She maybe felt like she would have no where to go and no outside support for herself or children. I am not certain if this was the case in your situation, but generally in most it is. Other reasons might have been that she feared that if she left, the abuser would have found her and the situation could have become extremely violent with grave consequences.
I'm not sure what age you are, but perhaps you can reply to your sister's e-mail and invite her to meet you for lunch or a cup of coffee to chat. Maybe by approaching her in a calm and non-accusatory manner, you could ask her why she did not believe you. Sometimes, after someone grows into adulthood, maybe has their own child or children, they begin to view things differently. Again, I do not know if this applies to your sister or not, but I think her e-mail was a way of reaching out to you. She may be ready to listen and want to rebuild her relationship with you.
Blessings, healing and light to you,
Thank you so much! I am 30 and my sister is 23.. I am married.. To cancer, he hates my sister for throwing me out her apt when my mother and stepfather asked her to do so.. My stepfather left me in the street for not allowing him to do what he wanted to do.. And took all my belongins and money.. I dont understand why my sister keeps believing in them.. I just think is because she is scared of loosing her mother.. Her mothers acceptance and love. And may be that makes her believe all the lies they say sbout me.
I really love my sister inmensly, and i miss her infintely.
Thank you so much for your help. I have read about Taurus that they go slow.. And mabe i have to keep the faith high.. For her to realize one day all the truth. Its so difficult with my husband he just wants to protect me so bad.. That he gets very angry at my sister.. So i have to wait until she writes back from her heart and not blaming me of hurting her. Do you think that could happend?
Sounds like you have a loving and protective husband -- which is a very good thing! He realizes how much pain and suffering your mother and sister inflicted on you when your sister asked you to leave her apartment. This whole ordeal has been very hurtful for you and I respect your husband for wanting to shield you from any more pain. However, it has been 6 years since this happened and although your sister's e-mail was a little one-sided, I still believe she was reaching out. Have you sent her a reply? If not, again I would invite her to meet over lunch or coffee (if you live near each other). If not, then perhaps just a simple "thank you for thinking of me" reply. Possibly, that may begin to open her up to a dialog with you via e-mail. I do really think her e-mail after all this time was her attempt to make contact and get some communication going with you.
The "thing" with Taurus' is that if we believe something, it is generally really difficult to get us to change our mind. That does not mean it cannot be done. That natural "digging in our heels" defense needs to be diffused. Speaking form personal experience, and as a Taurus, it all depends on how I am approached. If I am approached in an angry, accusatory manner, then I'm not going to get the point -- just hurt and mad from the attitude reflected toward me. However, if I am approached in a calm, kind and friendly manner, then I'm willing to listen, weigh both sides of the situation and if I am or have been incorrect in my belief, then I not only change it, but apologize to the other party for any hurt my former belief may have caused them. Not all bulls are alike; with me my rising sign is Libra and moon sign is Cancer which make me pretty soft heart-ed and nurturing; I also like balance and peace. I'm also 54 and have lived life, raised a daughter (she's 33), etc. Makes me sound really old, but fortunately and gratefully, I look and feel younger. I'm also very protective of those I love. Still, if someone is being unfair or hurtful to another, I will call them on it and try and get to the truth of the matter (I also have 2 grand children - 14 and 9 sure can be a lot of rivalry there!) and settle it. In your case, however, there was abuse from a step father; not just some silly arguing between siblings.
I do feel you might be correct regarding your sister having fears that if she does believe you then her relationship with your mother will be in jeopardy. Once she allows herself to hear you out and really listens, she may not care about the mother/daughter relationship as she will finally see the truth. Again, it is all in the approach to her.
What do you think Virgogoddes? You grew up with your sister, when you had disagreements before, how did you get her to listen to your side and solve the problem(s)?
Wao!!! That was amazing.. Well we used to talk, we had a very good relationship. But inthe .unusual case of having a disagreement i aproach her in a calm and kind manner. We never had problems understanding each other.. Until the last years of my history with them. Thank you so much for your insigh,it is very helpful. I wish i could wirte her just that line.. But my husband got so angry that i told him i wasnt going to write her back.. So, i wish with time she writes me again.. Or i would have to look for the right way to convince my husband to understand me, cause he gets angry atme and very worrr, besides he is very angry at her. But thank you so much for taking the time to write back and giving me this light and guidance i apreciated very much! Lots of blessings for you and your family, sound like you have a beautiful one. God bless you.
Hi Virgogoddess~ what a story and we ALL have them. I agree with Taurus57, your sister is reaching out to you. She's being very careful though, because she still is afraid. You mentioned that she is younger than you, well, now I can see why she was the easiest one to manipulate. Abusers like your ste-dad are predators and they understand their prey, not you, but your sister and mother. I wouldnt blame them becuase the mind of a predator is amazingly controlling. I mean look at other manipulating predators; Manson, Hitler, Gadaffi...they control through fear ...my guess is that you were the lucky one who got out and you did....now, reach back and help them. Get your sister first. Do it slowly, but I can gaurantee, that once you and her are together again and create that bond of sister hood, she will open up and the truth will be revealed...your mom may or may not want to believe it...but at least you'll have the ali and srength of sisterhood. Good luck...Fight the Good Fight..