My advice for single women
I've been around this forum for awhile and have read many posts about women getting their heart broken by some selfish, player. If you are one of them here is my advice to you!
1. Always make a man wait longer than what he is comfortable with before having s-e-x with him. How else will you know if he is serious about you? Men LOVE S_E_X!!!! They will beg, steal, fight, and manipulate to get it! If you make him wait and he stays loyal to you, he is much more likely to be a keeper!
2. Pay good attention to his friends! If his male friends are mostly singe and only talk about shallow things like sports and t-i-t-s 247, your man is likely the same. It takes one to know one. If he has female friends, does he introduce you to them? If not, there is probably a good reason he doesn't. Does he spend more time with his friends than you? This is a sure sign that you aren't that important to him.
3. If you are a Christian believer, don't date a man who isn't. Missionary dating almost never works!
4. Pay attention to his family! If he treats his mother like crap, he's not likely to treat you any better.
5. Does he do drugs or drink excessively when you go out? Run!
When a man truly loves a women he will attempt to move mountains for her. He will want to spend the majority of his time with you. He will want you to meet all his friends and family. (if his family isn't bat s-h-i-t crazy)
Follow these 5 simple steps and you will avoid a lot of heartache
Well said Cancerman276!
Blessings and light,
Cancerman~ But look at what you said...Men love sex and then make a list like as if good men, smart, inteligent, and who like the positive things out of life dont like sex. OK STOP RIGHT THERE !!!
All men and woman like sex. Even good guys like sex with woman. To some like me, it's very important the bedroom is sacred to both. Good guys can be bad as well. We just dont like trouble and we dont prefer to screw up our lives. We take life seriously and eventually we grow up. We take relationships seriously. Let me also mmention this. I was the youngest out of 4 boys, Italian boys from NYC. No one even messed with my brothers, when they were young they had a repuation as being BAD BOYS. But they eventually grew up and used that energy for better things. My brothers are all amrried to my same sister in laws for over 20 years and they love each other the same as they did when they first met. This is one good guy that bad guys are afraid of. They cant out think me, or beat me physically. So who cares. For some reason, woman pick the wrong guys who hurt them, and then they dont know how to leave. But all men love sex. Woman are the objects to that desire and for good reason. Nothing even comes close to geat intimacy with the right female.
I didn't mean to imply that good guys don't like s-e-x. Of course we do! I was just pointing out that if a man is willing to wait for it, it is less likely to be the only thing he is after. I think many men, including myself at times, allow our lustful desires to control our actions, and that can lead to hurting women. Women love s-e-x as well, unless they've had a really bad experience with it, but I don't think most women just want sex. They, in general, can't separate s-e-x from love the way men can, and therefore are more likely to get hurt. Men play women for s-e-x all the time, but women typically don't care about it outside of relationships. That is what I was trying to get across.
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TruePhoenix - You missed the point that because all men love it and will do just about anything to get it, that that is the reason why the woman should hold out. If he doesn't really care anything about her other than getting "it" then he won't wait - he will move on to someone else who will give "it" to him. Cancerman is just giving all women the very good advice to not jump into bed so easily with men who have not proven themselves worthy of it. Men are biologically driven to spread their seed and women seem to think that giving themselves to someone in this way is how they will receive love. One doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the other.
Some men use women for sex, and some women use men for money, security, or attention. Humans by nature are selfish, but that selfish nature is different between men and women.
I read all the posts. Sex and intimacy isn't always gender-specific. There are many women who can separate love and sex. I call it "Segregation of the mind and heart." There are many men who DO seek more than just sex, but attract the wrong types of women who are not able to give them that emotional intimacy or reciprocation. I blame it on the hasty generalization that all women are emotionally connected after sex and waiting for their knight and shining armor to rescue them. Quite the contrary, most women are quite realistic.
We have strong desires. Some act on them. Some don't. But trust me, it's present.
A connection has more to do with physical intimacy. There are no time restraints. A casual kiss isn't going to have the same impact as a deep long sensual kiss. Having sex isn't going to have the same impact as making love and exploring all your partners erogenous zones. A connection is made when you have watched them entered the room. Became intoxicated in their scent. Smile when you hear their voice, and gladly take pleasure in tasting their lips!
If this chemistry isn't present initially.......holding out on sex isn't going to make a difference....The outcomes of a one night stand will be synonymous to the sexual encounter. Physical pleasure, and nothing more!
I realize I am generalizing but I stand behind my belief that the majority of women don't use men for s-e-x-u-a-l gratification the way men use women for it. There are also some men who use women for money, but in my experience, it's not common. I also stand behind my belief that s-e-x is something that should not happen right away. I know a lot of women who thought they were in love with a men but eventually realized that they weren't much more than a piece of meat. I believe situations like that are more likely to be avoided if the women makes the man wait a little.
Any other women care to chime in on this?
I've also noticed that out of the female signs I've encountered, Taureans seem to be most capable of separating sex and love.
1. We're emotionally strong individuals.
2. We're VERY physical/sensual creatures.
3. It's all or nothing with us. We love you HARD! Or we simply don't love you at all.
LOVE YOU HARD! ~ OK, how do I meet a Taurus woman ????
You're our polar opposite...
Meeting a Taurus woman shouldn't be difficult....
Where can you find one?
1. At a rally, protesting, defending people who are mistreated.
2. Art show, music festival, or any where creative....
3. Outside gardening.
4. At a family cookout.
5. Wine Tasting.
@TaurusFemmeFetale~ Opposites do attract ~
1. No politcs here in Dallas, its in Austin. Thats's out.
2. No culture here accept country music and the Cowboys. Thats out.
3. I live in a apartment and dont have plants, accept the fake ones. Out !
4. Summers over, no more cookouts, out.
5. No wineries in Dallas, the only wine tasting is in bars/clubs and I'm Christian trying to change my ways, so thats out.
HELP Fatale !!!
Aries and Tureen always attract..
I quite agree , if a guy wants you for you.. make em wait they will respect you in the long run...Most dont if you dont respect yourself.
Make work for yo respect and trust.. also there's give you have do the same i think on smaller scale?
How do i as Arian not lake same mistakes with a tureen>
It's nice to hear that sex is respected and woman think of themselves in ahigh regard than some standards we're seeing today. I agree that waiting for it is important. The night of intimacy should cap off a true romance and start the relationship in a new and serious direction. The guy who is in love with you, should respect that, and wait. for however long it takes for her to be comfortable, in herself and in the relationship.
Ladies, during the waiing process, which is in your control, it needs to be, during this process, whats your expectations from your man?? what do you want to see??
I've found that it's really difficult for me to separate *** from a relationship.
As soon as I gave in I felt guilty because I didn't truly care for them like I would if I loved them, so I decided that waiting is the best option. It demonstrates a respect for yourself... And it lets them know that you aren't there to cater to their needs whenever they call. This is just how it works for me, though, because I know many women who have completely different "methods" and relationships to ***.
In the waiting process, I like to see that the guy cares. That they're interested in knowing me and spending time figuring me out. I think that sounds simple enough. A genuine sense of interest... That goes both ways. Once that pressure is on and I can feel the disrespect, they don't hear from me again.
Good topic... Interesting!
A topic my girlfriends and I talk about often. Personally, I am one that can separate intimacy from love very easily. I am much more likely to be intimate with someone before I will ever consider a relationship. Is trust my issue? Could it be fear of commitment? Am I just not ready? I say all of the above. I don’t want to make another mistake. I don’t want to regret my commitment, and once I have made one I’m in it for the long haul. But I also know that “love” isn’t exactly what I need to be looking for right now. I want it like everyone else. I want to feel that deep connection and closeness again. I want to feel comfort when I walk in the door from a long day. I want to have something to look forward to when I get home. But I am meant to be in this transition phase, so I make the best of it.
We know that all adults need or want ***. Knowing your desires is part of getting to know yourself. If finding this out by trial and error is the way some go about it then kudos to them. But you are right Cancerman…..it is almost impossible to find love and your physical preferences at the same time. So before you go out into the world searching, know what it is you are searching for and if you’re ready for it. Know what stone of your path you are standing on before you try to leap to the end. Otherwise you will be one of the ones complaining that you were played.
Thanks for everyone's input on this! keep it coming!
aqua2378 I smiled when I read this "Personally, I am one that can separate intimacy from love very easily". I was thinking to myself this morning that there is one other sign I have come in contact with that seem to easily separate s-e-x and love, and that is Aquariuses! I think female Taureans and Aqua's have some male hormones in their genetic makeup lol!
Another thing I want to add to the list. You must go into a relationship with an attitude of selflessness. It should never be "what can this person bring to my life to make it better". It should be "what can I bring to this persons life to make it better". It's not what you can get out of a relationship, but what you can put into it! I believe this is the key to a successful relationship
Taurean women R.O.C.K.........just sayin and Mark...cancer men are well..you know.....;)
But buddy, you hit it out of the park with this one!!! Dead on!!
Thanks Taurus7!! How are you and J?