Blmoon, or Captain, ot both please, I need your advice please



  • I learned today that my ex ha apealed a chld protective services judgement against him yet again. Now I have to go to court against him as a witness for the state. The attorney told me that this case is such a mess because of his family being in a higher position there, three judges have already taken themselves off of it because of the conflict of interest, they know him or his family. The hearing will still be in his town, not mine, and they appointed a guardian attorney to my child that claimed to know the family as well and not want to be involved, but the judge appointed him. We are working to get that person changed, as its not really fair to to the state, only to him. The attornney told me my ex's attorney told her they wanted to speed this up because they want to do a change of custody hearing soon, I told her i knew nothing about that, as I have not been served, and they have no basis to change anything in our custody/visitation arrangement at this point and have kept me in the dark if they truly are planning anything. I am obviously very nervous about all of this, I don't know if I will need to hire an attorney I really can't afford soon? They said I was a good witness last time, but their attorney is going to try to trip me up this time, any get to emotionally, make me angery, upset, ect mabe. I told her I will do as well as I did before with her coaching me, but deep down I am nervous and scared. I don't want to go back to that town, or see those people or be in that court, I'm not on trial but I feel pressured to be the best witness I can against their lies, and for my child. I don't know what all tricks they have up their sleeves this time. Any insight would be much apprecaited thank you so much , God Bless!



  • Again this fear of making a mistake that will impact on others. I feel this is from a past life where lives were lost because you made an error in judgment and actions. Forgive yourself, and move on. This past lesson alone means you will be more careful of your words and actions in the future.

    It doesn't matter what tricks others try to play on you - you just have to trust yourself and have confidence, and tell the truth. Liars will always fail, as will your ex. I do feel if you maintain your honour and integrity and faith, things will go very well for you. Even now, this man's good name is being cast into doubt in his own town. Things are emerging that his friends never knew about him. I also feel his partner is going to turn on him soon.



  • Thank you Captain, no one there knew about it, but as he has decided to fight this in his town it could make it more known there, I always felt that she is the driving force behind it, since her boss is his lawyer, but I don't know anymore, I will be honest there though, I just want what is best for them.



  • People in his town are already talking about it. The real story has leaked out and your ex is losing support fast. Expect more crazy behaviour as his support system falls away.



  • I've always wondered if anyone there knew, I'm not sure how they would, as I decided to protect my childs privacy, I would have published it in the paper there if it wasn't for child. I worried I may have to get an attorney because the lawyer opposing him leaked to me that their attorney told her they were filing something for visitation/ custody, I really can't afford one right now, I'm angry that hes doing this to my child, they are making my child talk to an attorney appointed just for him, but that attorney knows my exs family, and could be biast, I am trying to have him replaced before this all starts. I have no idea how my child will take all this, as I'm not even allowed to tell him about it. I'm just praying help comes soon.



  • Do you have access to free legal aid there? Make sure you know all your rights and entitlements, and collect plenty of evidence to show why your ex was a bad husband and father.



  • I don't Captain, its impossible to get here, so I will have to do whatever I need to if the time comes that I have to have one I guess. He couldn't afford one but he gets it for free from his wifes boss, I have no idea why he would help them knowing what he did. I can't even tell him my child has a n appointment , which I'm suppose to do by court order, yet he uses in awfulways, such as saying to me thats wrong for me to make an appointement for my son without his permission, I am their primary caretaker, they have always lived with me, and I am the one who takes them whereever they need to go. My child has a slight disability, or major ability depending on how I look at it at, auspergers, I made an appointment to help with proper diagnosing, and resources,and he says I'm beign shady because I took an open day that he couldn't come, although hes never came to any appointments unless we point out that he doesn't then he'll show looking like he would rather be anywere else and doesn't offer to pay his court ordered half of the bills.



  • Bluecat, you need to be very organized about keeping written rather than just verbal records of how he has failed as both a father and a husband in case you have to go to court. If it comes down to your word versus his, you need to be able to backup your claims. I feel you hold back when it comes to fighting him and sticking up for yourself. But you have to be very determined to win.



  • I stand up to him verbally, but I'm not sure what to do otherwise, besides like you said, keep records of what he does. I'm sure he has plenty of his own that twists around. I am now finding out all sorts of rescources available to my son, and i want to get started, but hes too wrapped him in his appeals case. I wish I didn't have to testify again, I'll be so glad when its over.



  • Until you lose all your fear of your ex, this situation will go on. It is a test of your resolve and courage, designed to help you throw off feelings of being a victim and step into the light of freedom..



  • Thank you Captain, I have wondered how he managed to have so much legal support, even if it is all crooked, at a time when I wasn't prepared to fight, but I found out I do not have to testify, My boyfriend will be doing it in my place. The lawyer stated that ex's attorney will just try to distort everything I have to say into me being angry with my ex. I could fight every last thing he has to say with truth and clarity, but we want to prove that my ex has true issues with control, manipulation , a bully really that pretends to be otherwise, and she feels she can do it with just my boyfriend up there instead. She said its a winnable case, that we never know but its obvious he did what he was charged with anyway because we have pics and pics don't lie, we have statements from the other children that were present and they were consistant as well. If the state lost, it would be corrupt at this point.



  • Sounds very winnable, indeed! At this point in time, it's all the bad people who have gotten away with things for so long who are getting their just desserts now, thanks to the new energies.



  • Thank you Captain, I've realized I have to keep going no matter what they throw at me, i'm trying nt to let it drain my energy, that happens to easily to me, I found an attorney that will take payments, the thought of all that money jut makes me ill, but I'm thinking if I file on him first to change some things in our divorce I'll knock the wind out of his sails before he can come at me, I hate thinking that because I have always tried to be more spirtually attuned no matter what the situation, but they are playing a legal dirty game and I know its time I protect the interests of my family, and fight fire with fire, I know I have to guard myself carefully, and in some ways it has helped me to be a better parent, I refuse to give in to the kids every wish just because this is going on, I'm not going to bribe them but I do find I want to spend more time with them and not stress over the difficulties. I've prayed that if we need a lawyer, we will somehow find the miracle one we need and miraclously be able to afford it, we found our guy, now for the next phase, budgeting him in. I never wanted to ask for more or go back to court, but now I feel my strategy is change a few things financially around in our favor if we can and he won't be in a position to knock us around so much anymore, since he didn't want to do the right things. I wish he would have complied with the child protective services, went to therapy, but he wouldn't, I don't know if he ever will.



  • The bad people, Captain, do you mean the people who do not want to grow or change or accept responsibilties? These people could have changed right?



  • Yes.


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