VIRGO WOMAN NEEDS HELP WITH TAURUS MAN
I have been with a Taurus male for almost a year He is a textbook Taurus quiet, caring , doesn't communicate well very worried about finances but he is very secretive.He is the first man I ever trusted he broke that trust back in June he cheated we were not getting along at the time I was very detacched & he bumped into his ex & cheated he always calls me & he went missing that night which he never does He came clean & wanted to break it off he was very hard on himself I figured he was worth another shot .Since than hings have been great but he is very slow to progress our relationsip I want 2 move in together he states he's only ready to do that when hes financially stable or ready to be engaged.So I have found myself worrying & drawing back a lot he has a spiteful side & yesterday he went MIA again calls me this morning telling me he went to his friends house he missed his birthday get together the week prior & he said"Oh I dint even think of it I was cathching up" meaning calling me YEAH RIGHT! He basically stayed out all night & admitted that He is very good to me 99% of the time but so am I I will not tolerate this it is inconsiderate also I didnt call him back right away the past two days Im torn if he cheated maybe or is just pounding his chest Cause he made a statement to the effect like I m a grown man I dont have 2 check in & I was having fun okay!...How do I handle this I do want a lil revenge np cheating or anything what gets under his skin & also I feel like we need to progress we are in pause how do I casually make that happen I know they are not good with change
Please do not take this the wrong way, but you do not seem mature enough to pursue a real relationship with your Taurus man. To love a Taurus is to simply understand him.
("He is the first man I ever trusted he broke that trust back in June he cheated we were not getting along at the time I was very detached & he bumped into his ex & cheated ")
Why were you detached @ the time? Taurus individuals are very physical signs (we crave love, hugs, kisses and sex).
("Since than hings have been great but he is very slow to progress our relationsip I want 2 move in together he states he's only ready to do that when hes financially stable or ready to be engaged. So I have found myself worrying & drawing back a lot ")
Are you serious? Really? This is true for all Tauruses. We do not make final decisions on any romantic relationships unless we're financially secure. He was being honest. You didn't like the response you heard, so you opted to withdraw from him....which was what led to his infidelity in the 1st place.
("He is very good to me 99%")
Almost the perfect man, and yet, you're complaining....?
("How do I handle this I do want a lil revenge np cheating or anything what gets under his skin & also I feel like we need to progress we are in pause how do I casually make that happen I know they are not good with change")
Now you want revenge? You don't want progress. You want to control and navigate the entire relationship. Yes, Tauruses are not good with sudden changes. But we adapt very well to GRADUAL changes. It's not like he doesn't want to take the relationship to the next level. He just simply can't! When he can, he will! Your problem, Snowbunny? You're spiteful when you can't get your way. But it's funny, how your Taurus man is automatically given that label. When he's not trying to play by your set of rules, you emotionally and physically detach yourself from him. Keep this silly little game up, and you will lose him.
With Bulls, just because we're slow to initiate, and not always effective at communicating, don't think for a second that we're stupid! We're very perceptive people! He's not being spiteful, he's putting his walls up, and guarding himself against vengeful people like you!
If you want REAL advice, you may want to re-examine how you're coming across!
I am not offended by what you said but I think you are judging me too quickly. My best friend/sister killed herself a few months prior to me meeting him,my last relationship was horrible .He gave me hope again but I was grieving & out of work when I went back to work & I am a single Mom I was very tired & the job I had did not allow me to contact him much at all I worked 12 hour days. I am not mean after the incident I sat down with him & talked about his feelings & I promised to make adjustments admitting my faults. He is not perfect ok he does a lot of things that are selfish & he snaps at me when he is having a bad day I changed a lot of my ways I was never clingy which he liked yet he betrayed me but I understand & gave him credit for coming clean The problem is we both had flaws I have put an extreme effort on my behalf he hasn't All I asked of him was to communicate more with me.I had no idea he was feeling that way He don't communicate unless he's mad Thats not fair to me! I am not playing a game by any means I am basically everything he's ever wanted not jealous or possesive but he can be very spiteful & we sat down & talked about a lot of things & I held up my end of the bargain on compromise he hasn't at ll...I don't necessarily want revenge but I needed advice so he can see he is being stubborn & going on as the status quo I respect his honesty but he is secretive at times Please dont judge me I have done everything he has ever wanted in a woman & made adjustments He hasn't changed at all. How can I make him realize he's pushing me away I love this man. He is way more spiteful than I am it's silly stuff but it's the point.I needed some advice maybe I should have been more specific but trust me no games here.IM JUST FRUSTRATED!!!
I have never come to forums like this but he is a textbook Taurus so this is my only outlet.He tells me he shows me by his actions ,which he does to an extent He hasn't told me he loved me only when we had 2 huge arguments & he was wrong I dont know if it was a slip of the tongue or the truth when I asked him about it he said he's not sure yet but he says he wants to build a future with me Is he scared to tell me don't you just feel love ? Also i read Taurus men are very loyal than I heard they are cheaters I do not believe he is a habitual cheater or could he be playing with me? I have to protect my feelings too. His friends treat me like crap I know they are jealous he don't do enough about it if you ask me Im a Virgo so I analyze everything but I find myself biting my tongue so much Im losing myself when I icommunicate with him he's long winded & makes no sense. He's a great person he has fallen on difficult times & I do everything for him I offer help when I know he needs it I shower him with food & gifts he works really hard Im so loyal his friends dont do nada for him & yet he ha sthis machoness when it comes 2 them when he does go out I say have a good time.Basically he's not compromising at all for my needs I am very attentive to him & have not gotten any compromise in return
I wasn't trying to judge you, but simply point out the errors and inconsistencies in some of your statements.
You insist on stating that your Taurus is 'spiteful.'
You have been dating your Taurus for almost a year. We're always slow to initiate. You will have to learn patience. Snowbunny, there are some things that you posted that concerns me. It seems as if you're trying to be the perfect candidate in your Taurus' eyes to win him over. Bulls don't want perfection. They want to see honesty and vulnerability....flaws and all! The real YOU!
You emotionally and physically disconnect yourself, but you try to be everything that you think that he wants you to be. 'Mirroring' his actions constitutes fraud. Take this as constructive criticism. I'm not trying to be brutal. He may think that you have your 'own' special agenda in attempting to trap him, you may do a complete 180 once he commits to you, or may view your movements as a sign of codependency.
The two of you have been involved for less than a year...
1. You want to move in together already.
2. You're pressing for the "I Love You' in return.
3. You're trying to mold yourself into everything that he wants you to be.
See where i'm going with this?
1. Tauruses hate, absolutely hate to be rushed into anything. They do things on their terms. Respect it or leave it alone.
2. Tauruses speak with their eyes. Just because Bulls don't verbalize "I love you's" ...it does not mean we don't feel it. Actually, we love quite hard. If he looks at you ' and holds you like you're the only person in the room, he loves you, it's that simple. We believe that physical contact/intimacy is the highest expression of love. We're very physical signs. Reject intimacy. Reject us.
3. We don't want a carbon copy of a perfect billboard, we want the real thing, flaws and all. Honesty and vulnerability. Why? Our nurturing qualities kick in. This is what we're infamous for. LOL!
Honestly, I think you're worried over nothing. He's an earth sign, just like you. He wants the same things that you do. Being a Taurus, we observe, internalize, then observe, plan, internalize, then plan, plan and plan! LOL. We're slow to initiate because when we commit, we COMMIT FULLY! You and I, me and you. All or nothing! No exes, no bad memories, no past emotional baggage. He wants to be financially secure before he commits because he does not want you to carry the financial burden by yourself. Tauruses are nurturers. Caretakers. Not moochers. Give him the opportunity to get on his feet.
In the meantime, don't be afraid to be yourself and speak your mind.
Give him plenty of affection! (We may not require lots of attention) But affection is a definite requirement for most Bulls!
And learn patience, patience, patience!
As for the part about being secretive....
For a Taurus, it's a lot more complex than that...
It can indicate a myriad of things....
1. Fear of being judged.
2. Fear of being taken advantage of/exploited
3. Emotionally guarded.
I can't speak for other Bulls, but through my experiences, when someone knows your innermost, vulnerable secrets/or past history, they have a tendency to judge you, or see you in a different light. We want to be seen as 'rock-solid' in your eyes. Tauruses are emotionally strong people.
We give ourselves away in bits and pieces...never in a mouthful! So yes, it takes extreme patience to get to know a Taurus!
I'll elaborate a lil more...I really appreciate your insight ! Just for the record I am not trying to be perfect but I promised myself I would not take out any emotional baggage on this man due to being burnt in the past becausse I feel he is a great person & he didnt deserve that. Im as honest as they come brutally at times but lately I noticed & I read they don't like confrontation & their have been times where I am not being confrontational just voicing my concern & he gets very defensive cause I felt we could talk about anything. We basically have very few problems but the few we have are really hard on me I was somewhat cold with affection but he has naturally brought it out in me & I love it but I am more verbally & sometimes I need to hear it ya know. He's very loyal to his friends almost to a fault & He's the 'RELIABLE" friend he wroks a lot & we really only get to see each other on weekends so he's not at their becking call & I think they blame me He constantly calls me he's not possesive that I can tell Im way past the going out stage so I like staying home with him or going out with him I think he likes that Im a homebody these are the things he says he likes about me.Loyalty,honesty,humor,he says Im so kind hearted but a lot of people don't see that side & that he loves how I always let people know where they stand.But he tells me I let people get to me too much. I know Im going on I just never met a man so good but is so complex Usually complex means asshole not in his case we all have our moments My main question is Is their any way I can better communicate with him? I know I have to be patient Im really trying but that is not one of my strong suits. I never met a man who was their exact horoscope lol..It helps but I feel like I never know what he's thinking about me. & I don't want to push him away I dont even realize Im doing it I have been lately Im just scared I really feel this is the one & Maybe it's the Virgo in me I overanalyze I just wish I could understand him better I just started looking into his sign
("My main question is Is their any way I can better communicate with him? I know I have to be patient Im really trying but that is not one of my strong suits. I never met a man who was their exact horoscope lol..It helps but I feel like I never know what he's thinking about me. & I don't want to push him away I dont even realize Im doing it I have been lately Im just scared I really feel this is the one & Maybe it's the Virgo in me I overanalyze I just wish I could understand him better I just started looking into his sign")
I believe that you're over-worrying and fussing waaaaaay to much! LOL! It's only been less than a year. He will eventually get there. Communicating at times can be quite challenging for us....
Let me give you an example:
Me: There are plenty of nice girls that you can date.
Guy: Well you seem like a Nice Girl
Me: I don't want to be in a relationship right now.
(this is just a temporary defense mechanism)
Translation: "I don't know what to tell you right now because you just caught me off guard. I haven't figured out if I want to be with you. I need some time. What I do know? My feelings for you is overwhelming. It scares me. I see you, and I get butterflies in my stomach. My heart aches when I'm not with you. I need to be in your presence to touch you (kiss, hug, or any physical intimacy, ) to get lost in your scent, and to hear your voice. You may have not realized it, but I watched you enter the room and walked across the living room. The entire time. Thinking "how lucky I am I?"
"If you do not hear from me. Don't panic. I'm thinking about you, almost obsessing over you. Keeping tabs on you without you knowing. Asking individuals how to proceed with you."
This may be why his friends dislike you. He's probably obsessing and always speaking of you!
During the initial stages of dating a Taurus...
You will have to learn to speak and understand our language.
It's always non-verbal.
Watch the eyes.
Observe our actions!
Communication will get better (but give it a little more than a year at least).
Tauruses do well with gradual changes, not sudden changes.
He has to learn how to convey what he's feeling. This is a huge flaw that we have. It confuses a lot of people. Trust me. Don't feel bad. LOL.
If you're trying to drag it out of him at this current time. It will not work. Getting through a Bull is like attempting to punch a hole in rock. You will end up in pain, with no end result. We're very stubborn people.
He will communicate when he's ready...
But he will need some time to do so.
Virgos are good teachers, when he's ready, you will simply lead the way...
Thank you so much It has helped a lot I got laid off AGAIN & Im going through a crisis I want to go back to school & work but don't know what to go to school for cause my time is limited so I want to make the right choice & I think He was really sent to me at the lowest point in my life I never had a lot of boyfriends Ive dated a lot so Im not a clinger I do see a lot of similarities in us he dont lol I think maybe I have lost myself a little into this relationship & I need my own life again just a little maybe that's whats triggering this. I promised I would not hold his cheating against him I begged for him back cause that's when I knew I could not be without him I didn't take him for granted I just didn't realize how much affection he needed He always told me no news is good news??? Like 2 a Virgo thats insane I have verbal terrets any thought that pops in my mind is voiced lol I have a severe temper but boy he gives me a run for my money.He has the perfect balance he sweet but not a pushover I love that never thought I would find it. I think Im just realizing how attached I am & I heard Tauruses are final & I know their stubborn so Im like trying to make sure everything is okay before it's too late.Thank you so much God you have been such a help I wish I could contact u regularly.I had a rough life & this man is like my knight in shining armor who I wanna kick of the horse at times but I still love him & admire his determination & we are both know it alls lol Thanks again
Feel free to contact me on this forum. I check in a least once a day. I understand that Bulls can be quite difficult. After all, I am one! LOL! I have been on other sites where people vent about their frustrations when dealing with Tauruses. At times, we're really not aware of how we come across. Mostly because we assume that it should be obvious to that other person, but unfortunately, it never is. Because of our introverted personalities, we almost live in our heads. We sometimes forget, that there is someone else, and all they want to do is be "let in" as to what's going on in our heads. We want to convey it...just haven't quite figured out how to. We're too busy making sense of how we're feeling about you, carrying the burden of our family members or loved ones, prioritizing you in our schedules, & worrying about finances (as we always do!). This is what goes on in our heads!
But it doesn't mean because we're not verbalizing how we feel about you, that the emotions are not present. He loves you. I can assure you that.
I know it frustrates me when I am head over heels in love with a person, support them emotionally, never leave their side, look at them as if I just met the love of my life, touch them, kiss them, hold them & multi-task, so that they wouldn't have to carry the burden....just to be told
"I'm leaving, you never told me that you loved me, and you have not given me any cue as to where we're headed."
It's like ripping the heart right out my chest.
It makes me feel as if they were never connected to me.
Where were they when I was loving, kissing, &being supportive of them? Incognito!
We give you our hearts, and ask for very little in return.
We only ask for patience.
Give us time to get there. Don't make threats. Back us into a corner. Make situations difficult for us. Bulls crave peace and harmony, and we hate confrontation.
Sorry to interrupt your thread snow bunny..
I would like to ask taurusfemmefatal questions regarding a tureen pleas?
Just need to ask the basics and your view OK.
He said friends with benefits more if it happens.
We just clicked as soon as met, just gelled together.
Made a convincing argument. seemed a positive guy.. work workaholic..
Get defensive very easily if questioned on truths.. played the dont judge me card, made you feel guilt for asking.
I decided to do a joke on my other mobile.. add fun, turned he said he was married.. so after time i played it to see the truth.
when i saw him he dropped hints what was said, but didn't say full on he knew it me.
I tried to ask full on if true he said why would i lie..
He gave more tactile affection than he should have with nsa.. e.g. walk in room see me hold arm out extra kisses and hugs..
Did make promises couldn't keep .. like take time to go out for the day.
Tried to dictate to me about trust and how treat friends..
Eventually start to open up about his past marriage and kids.. which way surprised me to say the least.
Once i said friends only.. he just went in to ok.. then all ill and friend dying.. to next i will say i didn't do something he wanted, he just text me saying, you know i said im al right, i lied im dying.. and what he texed did not make any sense to me as i know medical.
Taurus in need help?
I would love to ask a question about this taurus man I know. We have been friends since high school. We were always friends it never got romantic. I have not seen him in about 20 years. I was at home and we went to lunch and he asked what happened to us, we were always so good together: He got me off guard as I didn't know he cared that much. We are both divorced and we were talking, he even drove six hours to visit me. I have since moved home and we are in the same city and I have not heard anything from him. I called him when I first got the job and stated we will have to get together that was in July. I called last week and he stated he was busy would call me later. He called an hour later and stated he was sorry for not being able to talk, he was busy. He had to leave a message as I was not near my phone when he called back. I called him back the next day and we conversed for a little while. When he got ready to go I stated don't be a stranger he stated ok. He has had a few set back this year although I am wondering if he is involved with someone and that is the reason for not contacting me. He has been divorced for 4 years his wife cheated on him. I have been divorced for seven. Please give your advise as I am confused . Thank you for your time.
Love and Light
Omg so many good & bad things have transpired over the past few days you are so great at giving advice I know this sounds crazy but is there a way I could give u my number lol cause I need help I was overanalyzing before but things have transpired & I need some serious advice it is too much 2 type & explain if your open to it ill post an older email for us to correspond If not thanks for your help
You can post it on this forum. Don't be embarassed. We're all anonymous on this forum, remember. It's OK.
There isn't a dilemma really, your Taurus man is just busy...
He's keeping you posted.
He hasn't disappeared on you.
What's the problem?
TaurusFemmeFatale perhaps you can provide some advice for me with my Taurus Man.
I've been dating my Taurus man since late April so about 5-6 months. He's much younger than i am, i was a bit worried about the age difference when we first met but he's very mature and caught my interest from the beginning. I actually met him about 1 1/2 yrs ago but we never talked i was going through a seperation at that time and the idea of another man was not on my mind. i did feel an attraction and even commented that i found him to be very intriguing (his eyes). He had just got home from Iraq as he's in the Army. Then we ran into eachother in April and started talking. I immediately felt a connection with him and i remember telling him on our first date that i noticed how he talked through his eyes!! funny because at that point i didnt even know he was a taurus or any traits for taurus men!! anyway, we began dating, i took him on a cruise for his Birthday in May, we like to get away for weekends and everytime that we spend together it is just beautiful and i can just feel the love. But of course, everything good comes to a end.
He currently lives with his parents and is going to school but doesnt have a job, he's in the army reserve and goes away a wknd a month. from the beginning he told me that he would not be able to see me during the week because i was a huge distraction for him and he needed to study. Depending on the class sometimes that would include weekends. Of course i wasnt estatic about this but i understood how important school was to him and i respected that. We talked about a relationship and he said to me that he didnt think we were capatable right know because of his situation (not having a job or own place) he even said that he didnt want me to wait around and if i met someone else that made me happy i should not let it pass me by that he only asked that i be honest with him. I told him i wasnt interested in anyone else but i promised to be honest with him if that changed. He also told me that he was very private and didn't like people in his business. I know his parents and siblings (my daughter dates his brother) So in June he does his first dissapearing act for 2weeks. no calls, no text nothing!! we had planned on going away for 4th of july weekend and at that point wasnt even sure if we were going. i tried to contact him but to no avail. he finally texted me 3 days before our getaway with "im so sorry just had to get a grip on my PMS" i didnt know how to respond to that... and i just laughed it off i wasnt going to make a big deal about it because i was looking forward to a great weekend with him which btw, was absolutely amazing!! I remember that trip i caught him staring at me from far with those deep eyes. on that trip i asked him if he was sleeping with other women and he said no i was the only one. he then asked me how would i react if he had said yes, i told him that if he had said yes then we could not continue to be intimate and i need to make sure that we were exclusive with eachother. Anyway, after our getaway he dissappears again for 3 weeks... once again we had planned on going away for my bday in Aug and once again i didnt even know if he was going at that point. He finally texted me on my b'day and we did go away for my birthday. on that trip i took the opportunity to tell him how his MIA makes me feel and i wished he can just talk to me. On every trip we had he would open up to me a little. in the beginning he was hesitant about coming to my home but the past t months after our trip in August he's even stayed over my house for a few weekends. We had the best time just doing nothing but watching movies, drinking wine, making love, i would cook for him and we just relaxed in eachothers company it always felt so good and real. We are always laughing and enjoy our time very much! i'm going to list a few ncidents that have occured and there outcomes in order:
1. One weekend i went to get nails done with his mom and my daughter. His father & bro are mechanics and they have a garage. My car started marking oil and the mom suggested i take to garage for husband to do oil change. i was hesitant because i didnt want to bump into him as i had not heard from him in a while. Anyway the father insisted and i went and sure enough he walks in i didnt know what to do with myself but i was so hurt because he totally ignored me.. he said hello and that was it..no kiss hello no conversation!! nothing.. i was so upset i sent him a bunch of text and i tried to call him and nothing!! he finally called me the next day i told him that i felt like crap because he didn't acknowledge me. Even though we dont flaunt us dating his family knows we are. I asked him if he considered me a FWB and he said yes and i told him thats not what i wanted, thats not me, he asked what did i want since the last time we talked we both didnt know what we wanted and i told him that i understood right know was not a good time for a committed relationship but that eventually i wanted us to be. i told him what he did made me feel really bad and i dont like feeling like that. i asked him if he was willing to compromise that if we were in a situation like that again that i understand that its awkward for him as it is for me but just a kiss hello to acknowledge me would make me happy. He agreed and that was that. - the last time i went to garage and he was there he acknowledged me with a kiss hello.
2. I had texted him one day and asked him to have dinner with me that night. He never replied instead i get a response the next day saying "sorry but i have a bday party to go for my army buddy" i was so upset because not only did he respond a day late which obviously meant he didnt get my text but he's going to a party and didnt even think of asking me or inviting me. So i sent him a text telling him that he was messed up for not even thinking of asking me or he could have just said it's a guy thing... whatever.. but he didnt and i was upset. well i didnt hear from him for 10 days after that one. I figured he thought i was mad at him so i decided to text him after that. He came by my house that weekend and stood the entire weekend with me.
3. that was the last weekend i saw him. It's been 24 days and the first week i texted him a few times but he never responded.. which im use to.. so then i texted him about 19 days ago with a texted basically saying i think he's playing me and that i like him but not pressed to be with him.. well he never responded to that either... i couldnt take it anymore after 21 days of no contact and i texted him that i was missing him and told him that if he could meet me by the fountain outside his house at a certain time... he never responded.. i texted his brother and asked him to tell him to come outside and he refused.. i was devestated i felt like a knife went through my heart... 2 minutes later he texts me "sorry to drunk right now i dont want you to see me like this" i literally flipped out!! i cursed him out and told him he was full of crap and that 21 days have passed and i dont know about you and he couldnt even pick up the phone for me, i also asked him y was he treating me like this? that if he didnt want to be with me to just say so and at this point all i want is closure so i can move on. I told him if he didnt want my love someone else will. of course he never replied!! the next day i couldnt even go to work i was so upset and broken hearted.. how do you go from spending a wonderful 3 days to this??? i just dont understand. i was so upset i continued to text him the next day that i was going to go to his house after school because i wanted to talk face to face... i didn't but i wanted tooo.. i finally stopped calling and texting because it just hurts too much!! the last text i sent was "your actions speak volumes i take that whatever we had is over... take care and be happy!"
I feel like a total idiot and he probably thinks im crazy.. i am crazy but just crazy in love with him.. i dont know what to do at this point. I will leave him alone but do you think he will contact me? should i apologize for my behavior? please help!
Whoa! That was a lot to read. ( I thought I was long-winded). LOL! Apparently everyone hijacked Snowbunny's thread. LOL!
From what I gathered based on what you posted on this thread, your Taurus man is young, and you're overbearing. Patience isn't your virtue. For a Taurus, Love occurs gradually, at its own pace, in its own time, and when the connection is real! We're stubborn individuals. You can't shove 'love' down our throats and expect us to respond. The two of you are not exclusive. You're too confrontational! It's too much. I'm suprised he didn't run through the back door when you showed up at his brother's house.
He's young, a FT student, not financially stable, and he's sorting his life out. Give him an opportunity to do so.
We hate drama, confrontation, or unpleasantness of any kind. ALL Tauruses, male or female will tell you that.
We hate to be rushed. H-A-T-E to be rushed. ALL Tauruses, male or female will tell you that.
We hate unexpected visits, suprises, or anything that has not been pre-planned or 'keyed' in our schedules. ALLL Tauruses will tell you that.
If you continue to badger, he will simply be resilient!
I'm suprised, as a Leo, you're behaving this way. Leos are usually proud people.
My ex-boyfriend was a Leo. We got along just fine. No pressure. The connection was instant, relationship gradual, and the chemistry was real. He told me how he felt about me. He understood my reason for wanting to take it slow, and he never pushed me into making a decision. He was quite proudful, too. I contacted him when I wanted to go out, and he obliged. Then my calls to him became more frequent once we grew closer. But it was nothing like you described with you and your Taurus man. He was actually more patient than most men I met...who tried to 'bum-rush' their way into my life. I hate that.
Before I even uttered the words, "I love you." He already knew it. He was just waiting for me to get around to it. Reasons why I loved him. He totally got me! Not too many men do.
Just out of curiousity...
Why is it so difficult for people to understand that being with a Taurus requires patience.
We're not monsters, you know...LOL!