How to desl with a Cancer man when he get verbally abusive & hurtful to extremes
I am Virgo in a relationship with Cancer for 6 years. I need to know what to do when he fights with me for almost any stupid thing and he gets verbally abusive and hurtful to extremes. I adore him to death. But this is taking a toll on me when that happens i get very sad and spend hours crying and trying to get my voice out.. Because i feel his asking for so much from me and he keeps mistreating me whenever he gets angry at me. Somebody knows how to deal with a Cancer man in a love relationship ??? Thank you so much for your help!
Im sorry to hear that, how he is treating is wrong and as you said yourself is abusive, in which that's exactly what it is abuse, so it;s good you see that it is that, just need to get yourself to stand up to it.
What you need to do is when he is start the verbal abuse is to let him know it and you wont put up with it.. I know your thinking easier said done, but its the start to standing up for yourself telling him how it makes you feel..Try standing in front of a mirror look at yourself, how your body language is tall strong or slumped imagine your stand tall. focus your eyes be looking straight ahead to him take deep breath be firm not shouting and say i have had enough of you make me feel like this its the first start.
This is a character of any sign that does not matter he is bulling you and anyone can do that.. he as issues and needs to be put back to him OK.
Just two cents worth. It is never ok to be treated that way. Very sorry to hear how sad it makes you feel. Verbal abuse often goes hand in hand with or leads to physical abuse, so do be careful. If you choose to remain with him, you must find ways to protect yourself.
Agree with Scully21 - you need to show that you won't put up with it, albeit in a way that does not put you in danger. Routine exposure to verbal/emotional abuse is very damaging to your self-esteem. Trust me, it happened to me. It is a very vicious cycle in which you live for the good moments and put up with far too much of the bad stuff. Until you forget what is normal.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Be safe and take care.
Leave him, abuse is abuse no matter what. Get out of the relationship as fast as you can and if you have kids with him then they are being taught how to treat their future spouses.
No forms of abuse are ever good.
hi im really sorry to hear about whats happening to you with your cancer man ! but everyone that i ask about cancer men tell me to run as fast as i could !
I personaly fell for 1 38 yr old cancer man .. I will tell u my story
1 month ago i added him on fb cause i thought he looked cute and why not have a nice chat maximum ! so he sent me a message saying , hello do we know eachothers?
then i went , No ! , then he went , So ? then i went : my god ! if ur married or with someone just say so ! if i had something more intresting to say i would have said it long time ago ! but obviosly i was in for a nice chat or might have considered friendship .. take IT EASY ! "
then he went : Thats not exactly the tension I expect in an Intro to be friends, but funny nevertheless.
Ehdi ba2a keda we 2olili:
Why would marriage or a relationship change anything concerning connecting?
You ride Horses and are cute so you dont exactly seem like someone who has nothing interesting to say (as an Intro for ex.).
Since you probably dont just request anyone you have common friends with, I would like to know what moved you to request me?
i have alot of stalkers and would appreciate abt more info here !
Nice face, nice hobbies, just need a little more etiquette. Or would you just have grabbed me on the street like you did here on Facebook...?
Is that easy enough, for you..?
Anyways .. then he had accepted me saying : u seem quite crazy about life , so welcome to the club
anyhow .. our chats where like that on facebook nik and nak ! he was in germany at the time and i was in cairo egypt ,.. until 1 time he asked my skype info so we could chat live .. which we did and that same day we skyped for 4 hours striaght and it was a nice intresting chat and he didnt wanna let me go, he was like u will stay with me till the morning ! i couldnt stay cause im a motehr of a 1 yr old and i had a baby to takecare of the next day ! so i had to sleep ! "p.s our chat was at night !
anyways he took my number and told me hes moving back to Egypt for good this same week and that he'll call me as soon as he arrives, which he did ! he sent me sms saying : touchdown at paradise so he seemed quite intrested .. he texted me quite often ..
until we met .. i drove to his hotel where he stayed right infront of tahrir sqware cause he was too emotional about our recent situation and the revulotion and stuff ! i went up to his room after 2 drinks and he couldnt keep his hands off of me , not in an indecent way ! but in a very romantic way ! and i loved it ! he wanted to have sex with me but i didnt do it ! so time flew by as usual and i could tell he was intrested in me not only in a sexual way but also romantic .. his dad early this yr had passed away and he told me that he wished to have introduced me to him !!!!!
it was 3:30 am and i had to leave it was a long way back to my home and dangerous to drive at that time .. he offered to drive me back to my home and i was like : no no u stay u have along drive tommorow morning P.S he was traveling to another city where he is originaly from ! then was moving to another 1 to stay cause he has a project there ! so he wasnt staying whre i lived ..
so he took me with my car back to my home it was already 4:00 am and on the way he asked me if i could give him a last kiss because we were near my home ! then we reached my home and there were zero taxis !!! i offered to find him a cab ! but he parked my car infront of my home and told me tht he was a man and he would takecare of himself ! i went up to my home feeling really bad for him all alone ! he texted me : give me a sign that everything is ok ..
i called him and asked him if he had found a cab he goes : yes i will call u once i reach my hotel ..
he called me at around 5:00 am , i didnt pick up cause i was fast asleep ! and i woke up at 9:00am and i sent him a text saying : I had a lovely time last night with u , but offcourse not much sleep, i will sleep now .. muah xx ..
he didnt reply except 9 :00pm i recived a sms saying : same here dear
which i found abit cold !!!!!
anyways 3 or 4 days had passed no sign of him ! not on skype, nor facebook nor sms nor calls NADA ! i tried calling him on the 4th day and his mobile was switcvhed off..
i sent him message on faebook : hey you how is sinai and how are you? ..he replied but again very cold !! he told me that his number was working and that hes enjoying his tranquility .. then i sent him : ok have fun and takecare
then the next day i sent him : why r u ignroing me ? then he sent me : Why do you feel ignored? What did you expect?? I am here in Sinai, youre in Cairo and I hope we see eachother soon. In the meanwhile more People are dying, and their souls have my full attention, apart from my thrive to tranquility. Anything wrong about that?
i sent him : i didnt expect nothing more than the usual .. which suddenly stoped after we met ! uff ur so anal !
so ur basicaly good for a long chat over a spliff , but nothing more !
BY THAT TIME I HAD DELETED HIM !
then he sent me : will call u in 1 min ..
he calls i dont pick up, he sends me message on fb saying: why arent u picking up?
then i picked up .. he went : what is this childish behaviour??
i went : what childish behaviour? and anyways im 32 yrs old and i am still young ! but anyways this isnt about age as i have known guys older than u are
then he goes : ohh really !! u knew guys older than me ?? hummmmmmmmmmm
then i go : what the hell r u talking about? anyways i just felt that i might have done somthing wrong to hurt ur feelings or somthing hapend to u cause the communication lessend right after we met in real ! which i found a bit strange ! then he goes: well i had a long trip the day after and i saw 2 accidents on the road that i couldnt stop and help cause i didnt get much sleep from the NIGHT BEFORE ! and today this problem with the protestors is really weighing me down ! ..P.S guys he gave me excuses about the 1st and last day ! but were was he the 4 days in the middle ?? anyway so i just ignored this and i told him that i wasnt in egpyt myself .. and i was in london ! which he knows i had a short summer story with an anglish man .. so he went : ur in londoooooon? with who? i go with my girlfriend ! then he goes : with ur baby ? i go : no i left my baby with my mom in cairo ! then he goes : ok when r u coming back ? i go : i really dont know but ill keep u posted ! then he goes ok when u come back we meet ! i go ok cant wait ! bye
u see i 'll rewind a bit : before he goes on this trip he asked me to go with him , but my ecuse was that i had no one to takecare of my baby ! lol so he probably thinks tht i was lying to him from start
anyways .. he sent me a message right after we hung up saying : when did u remove me miss impulsive !
i didnt reply , the next day i said : when u became repulsive !
PS i noticed he had unliked his like on the only photo on my fb with me and my son ! i found this so repulsive !
anyway i sent him another messge syaing : im sory i didnt mean this ... i dont want this aggitation i dont know where it started from? i did really try calling u many times but truely ur fone was off .. i would like to see u again too.. im coming back on the 31st oct .. until then i send u a warm hug and dont be upset from me .
NO ANSWER ! for another 3 days !! then i sent him : oh its ok .. no offense taken.. have fun in London ! till then takecare .....................
take 2 : what do u want from me ? f*** off and dont talk to me again !
take 3 : take it easy .. not that intrested in u ! but would like to be ur friend !
im trying to help u out here !
still no answer ! then i sent another 1 : skip all that junk if u dont have intentions of being my friend ! .
.. i like u .. i dont wanna loose u as a friend .. please confirm that ur ok with this !! u stopped contacting me all together and when u did , u were very deffensive for god knows the reason?!!
i got rejected from u ! u werent clear as to what had happend ! i blocked u cause u freaked me out ! just tell me whats on ur agenda ? talk to me .. i dont bite ! im a nice 1 ... u can confide in me !
i ve recently had a tough year plus the yr before that plus the year before ! my intentions in adding u werent to hurt u ! was just pure friendship ! tell me what went wrong ! cause i feel soemthing went wrong ! i liked that day we d spent together alot ! i liked ur kiss i liked the way u touched me and i loved feeling ur hair ~
i felt that there was a conection going on between us .. or its probably in my mind ! ufffffff i like u ! and this doesnt happen often.. it hurt me once u turned cold on me .. im not selfish i might have done something wrong to hurt ur feelings ! im sure u felt the same way as i did .. or was it just that u wanted sex?
i need to know so that i can relax .. im a big girl and i can handle it ! can u ??????? do me a favour please and relax my mind .. what happend back there?
then he replied :
Hi you crazy confused gorgeous Cutie,
I have no idea what went wrong back there, except that you broke up the connection because I supposedly freaked you out. (With what??) Or did you just try to play hard to get...?
Facts are: I do not really have a problem with you, I am not afraid of you, you cannot hurt me, I do not confide in anyone except my very close circle and I do not own People and am not owned myself in any way. I like moments including the brief and limited one we had.
So lets just meet up somewhere sometime somehow soon and maybe create another moment that lasts.
Oh, and just exhale and relaax till then. Life is `Short´ so dont waste it with worries, fear and too much J. walker, freaky.
and i went :
Hey ... Thanks for the reponse.. Glad we're cool. I myself hate drama so I couldn't believe we could end a friendship like that. Should definitely meet up sometime when you're down. In the meantime, stay "relaxed" too & enjoy yourself
its been 4 days .. no call no sms no fb message NADA !
can anyone tell me what is going on? im going crazy its been 4 weeks now !