Hanswolfgang - blond and confused here again:)
Hans, I did it, albeit very clumsily... You better be right about this;) I'm beginning to think there's nothing I wouldn't do for this man. Dangerous.
you had become too open -- and that's why you immediately felt closed. But relax, and within two or three days, you will be open again.
Thanks Hans, but what does it mean for us? Is the ball still in my court or should I wait for him to make a move now?
Lots of love,
what does it mean for us? it means a ‘break-through’ or an ‘aha’ moment where suddenly conscious understanding and mental reasoning reach their peak, and achievement of goals suddenly becomes a lot easier.
Is the ball still in my court or should I wait for him to make a move now? Neither nor.
Just one more time and he will try his best.
Hope you're having a lovely Christmastime:) I wanted to get your thoughts on a few things if you don't mind.
I believe I have now said directly and honestly what's on my mind to my loved one. I'm not sure how he's reacted to that (at the moment it seems there has been no reaction at all). And maybe because i feel like I've done everything, it feels like I should be letting go of this incredibly difficult situation a little bit? My door will probably always be open to him and i've communicated that to him as well. But I feel a little tired, because I'm giving so much of myself but not getting it back for a long time now. I feel like I just want love. I'd like someone to love me back and be able to show it. I was so sure that this could be the right thing and he would be the right person because of how I felt (and how I believe he felt). But I'm not sure he will ever let me in. In many ways, perhaps, I'm already in his heart. But I don't think he'll let me near himself because he knows that I could win his heart completely. I don't think he is comfortable with this idea and he is well enough aware of himself to keep his feelings under control and not let us get too close. I feel like I'm running out of power to keep the fight going.
So I guess I want to ask you if you feel that this relationship is better as a simple friendship rather than a love affair? Who am I to him exactly? How does he see me? Could he and I ever become a family and have a home together? Or could / should I look for love elsewhere? With better success perhaps?
Do you have any advice for 2012? Will I finally be able to pull myself together enough to get my finances in order?
Lots of love, peace, joy and all that's beautiful,
I am having a lovely Christmastime:)
I wanted to get your thoughts on a few things if you don't mind: you now acknowledge that if you are to progress your goals further, you must focus your attention on your key priorities and stay committed to your goal without considering even more possibilities or opportunities.
I should be letting go of this incredibly difficult situation a little bit? Yes.
So I guess I want to ask you if you feel that this relationship is better as a simple friendship rather than a love affair? No.
Who am I to him exactly? A casual onlooker.
How does he see me? that you are trying to camouflage or compensate for your inability to control this situation.
Could he and I ever become a family and have a home together? No.
Or could / should I look for love elsewhere? No.
With better success perhaps? No.
Do you have any advice for 2012? No.
Will I finally be able to pull myself together enough to get my finances in order? No.
do not reject the body and the world -- transcend them.
What a difference a week makes. As it turns out there are still many things for me to learn from this relationship. So I will continue seeing him even if we pretend that it is only physical. All the while I will stay open to the fact that there will be no commitment between us. Although I always thought that this kind of emotion is what makes people marry and have children etc.
I know I'm being too conventional for you now:)
Lots of love Hans, and a Happy New Year!
In the land of the moths, there is the legend of the Old One. It tells that one night, when the then very young moth was flying about with his friends, he happened to look up and saw a wondrous white light hanging between the branches of a tree. It was in fact the moon, but as all moths are so preoccupied with the candles, street lamps, and other lights that they are constantly circling, our hero and his friends had never seen it before.
With this sight came a sudden and firm resolution: our moth would never again settle for flying around anything else but the moon. And so every night, when the moths would venture out from their resting places and each head for a suitable light, our moth headed upwards towards the heavens.
But the moon, although it seemed always so near, remained always beyond his finite capacity for flight. He never, however, allowed his frustrations to overcome him, and in fact his efforts, though unsuccessful in making him into a lunar astronaut, yielded him one unexpected dividend.
For while his friends and family, his neighbors and co-citizens of moth-land all reviled and ridiculed him, they all preceded him to the grave in the fiery incinerating death of their kind, burned to a crisp in one of those accessible flames they had set as their goal.
The Old One died peacefully at a very ripe age, beneath the cool white shine of his Beloved.
I feel that something has happened to you.
I feel that something has happened to me too. But I'm not yet sure what it is.
You really want to let go, yet trying doesn´t work, neither does not trying. It just has to happen.
I don't know if I'm in a hurry to let go. I think I'm letting go of the obsession, but not yet ready to let go of the experience - it's just started really. At this point I feel like it's just important to enjoy and learn from this relationship. It's good for me to be close to him. Enriching, like you once said.
I'm not anxious anymore. I feel more balanced now that we're spending more time together. But if he's not right, then he's not right. The Universe has never let me down. If there's someone else out there who's better for me, I'm open to that. I think I've spent too much time of my life obsessed with doing the right thing and as a result not really living. I want to live. I want to be true to myself so there are no regrets. And love is an emotion that is very difficult to leave unshared. So that's what I'm doing - sharing my love. And when this relationship has run it's course we will both move on, hopefully better off for having spent this time together.