Hanswolfgang - blond and confused here again:)



  • Hi Hans,

    Hope you are well and happy. I'm sorry to be knocking on your door again. You can tell me if enough is enough and you think I'm asking for your help too much and I won't trouble you:) Talking to you just helps me so much when I miss him.

    Last time we messaged in this forum, you said to keep a close eye on the certain someone, to see if it's worth fighting for (or worth wanting, something along those lines). I think I would have to say yes, it is. I know that I'm a vain and needy Leo and he's a fickle Gemini who needs his independence. And that if we ever had the chance to come together, I can't be sure that it all won't tumble down very quickly because we won't know how to handle each other. But if the situation was different from what it is now, and he was available to me, I would fight for our love, definitely.

    There have been a few times lately when I've felt like my feelings for him are unconditional. And regardless of whether we're together or not, the love I feel for him makes me happy and blissful. Other times I miss him so much, emotionally, intellectually, physically, that I don't know how to handle it. But because of the situation, I wouldn't feel right to be pushy and 'go after him'.

    I'm still not sure if I can talk to him about these things. Sometimes it feels like, when our conversation drifts there, he brings it to an abrupt end. I don't think it's because he's 'over' me. It's more like he doesn't want to encourage me?

    It's been relatively quiet between us lately. We haven't been close, physically, although I know that we both feel the incredibly intense electricity between us. It's obvious that we're both struggling but I still don't know where this leaves us. And I don't know what I should do. Is this over? Was this only meant to be a few months of dreaming an a few encounters? Should I be moving on and dating others to try and find someone who can be there for me in the ways that my loved one cannot? Or is our story not finished yet? Mostly it feels like it hasn't even begun yet!

    Please light my way once again, Hans.

    Wishing you all the best and sending lots of blessings!

    Hels



  • helbells,

    you are welcome.

    It's more like he doesn't want to encourage me? No.

    Is this over? Yes.

    Was this only meant to be a few months of dreaming: yes

    an a few encounters? No.

    Should I be moving on and dating others to try and find someone who can be there for me in the ways that my loved one cannot? No.

    Or is our story not finished yet? Yes.

    Please light my way once again:I recommend you careful thought and consideration.

    Hels,

    you should be able to just put your personality, your ego, your mind, on and off, because these are good things if you can use them. But you should know the mechanism, how to put them off. Right now you know only how to put them on.



  • Thanks Hans.

    So what does he want our relationship to be now? Does he feel awkward around me now? Would he prefer to be friends or have as little as possible to do with me?

    I don't really know how to get over him.

    Thanks,

    Hels



  • helbells,

    So what does he want our relationship to be now? That it will eventually catch up with you.

    Does he feel awkward around me now? Yes.

    Would he prefer to be friends or have as little as possible to do with me? Neither nor.

    Hels,

    go beyond the traditional mind and still remain centered, sane, and intelligent.



  • Well if he doesn't want to be friends or lovers, what does he want to be? Could I persuade him to have a close relationship with me? I'm sorry but at this point i'm really not sure I can do without at least occasionally being close to him...

    It feels like he's not being completely honest with me. Why wouldn't he feel free to tell me anything that's on his mind when we're been so incredibly close??



  • helbells,

    what does he want to be? to maintain a compassionate, nurturing, practical and down-to-earth attitude when it comes to dealing with you and your present circumstances.

    Could I persuade him to have a close relationship with me? Yes, certainly.

    Why wouldn't he feel free to tell me anything that's on his mind when we're been so incredibly close?? Because he has suffered a loss and does not know that there are people around him who are willing to help.

    So persuade him and help him. You will see miracles happening! That is not a problem.



  • Hans, I've always been open to having a relationship with him but I always thought it would only be right if he initiated it, given our circumstances. And I was hoping that in time he'd come to realise that he'd rather be with me, at least in some way than be without me altogether. It actually amazes me that he feels that I should be the intiator. But lately I've felt like he's slipping away. Because I think he's accepting the situation - that we can't be together. I always wished that he'd fight at least a little bit.

    So if I don't go to him, he will not come to me?

    What is the loss he's suffered?

    Thanks and blessings,

    H



  • helbells,

    So if I don't go to him, he will not come to me? No.

    What is the loss he's suffered? Stability and advancement.

    H,

    just the old female chauvinist attitude.



  • Haha:) No, it's not chauvinism. It's trying to live a life that's least harmful to people around me. Well, around him actually, come to think of it. I've never been so conflicted. I may think that our relationship is right and we'd be right to be close to each other because of love. But there's a slight conflict of interest for me to say that, given other people in his life.

    Anyway. I don't exactly know how to do this but hopefully universe will show me the way.

    Thanks Hans, as always.

    H



  • And what's his reason for not approaching me anyway? Does he think I won't be receptive? Or is he just not that interested? Or does he think it would be wrong?

    x x



  • helbells,

    and what's his reason for not approaching me anyway? being a lot like King Midas.

    Does he think I won't be receptive? No.

    Or is he just not that interested? Yes.

    Or does he think it would be wrong? No.

    H,

    make many changes because the people have changed, situations have changed, circumstances are no more the same. Now, this will be a living, growing phenomenon.



  • So if he's not interested, all the more reason for me to stay away. I'm sorry, Hans, I'm having trouble following your logic...



  • helbells,

    you would measure time the measureless and the immeasurable. Please don't be so stupid.



  • I knew you were gonna say something like that. I will do my best not to be so stupid:) x



  • helbells,

    you have to be receptive to it.



  • I am. I guess it just bothers me a little that I want it more than he does. And I'm wondering, because of everything else attached to this situation if maybe I'd be doing him a favour by leaving it alone.



  • OH Hans, it's been awhile. Loved the book. Let me know if you need blue or yellow energy. LOVE S O L O



  • helbells,

    I'm wondering if maybe I'd be doing him a favour by leaving it alone: No.

    I am not a pessimist. You seem to be a pessimist – I am optimistic, hopeful, for you.



  • MsScorp,

    thank you. It´s not that I need it, but I would enjoy blue energy.

    Love is fun! Share that energy. Give when you have it!

    Love

    Hans-Wolfgang



  • Thanks for your support Hans:) I have my moments, both of incredible optimism and pessimism unfortunately, sometimes.

    Best of everything to you and lots of love,

    Hels