Waiting for my time

  • I feel like my life is in termol , everytime I turn around Im hitting a brick wall. My life has never been easy for me , thats why I guess I was named Rebel. I have had alot of medical problems in the past, year have had health problems, and at times i just want to just give up. I always had people depending on me ...and have always been there for others. I had a child late in life who has ADHD and definitley beats to his own drum. I am divorced and found a wonderful man in my life now for 4yrs. I took care of my dad for 12 years he passed, now Im taking care of my mother who is in a nursing home, not getting any help from my siblings except my older sister,actually things really starting going down hll since 1995 when a tragic death of my other sister came about. I guess I really need to know when it's going to be my turn to enjoy my life I am now 54 and I feel my life is going no where.. I just want peace in my life and enjoy it with my partner, so will I ever get married , is the house we are looking at going to happen, will my son ever get on the the track. I don't ask for much in life ,and I guess Im stronger then what I thought lol ...made it this far but Im getting worn out physically and mentally...please tell me if theres light at the end of the tunnel.

  • Two red flags in your post---Waiting for your time--WAITING is void of action and ---you don't ask for much. A lack of entitlement. Sometimes this comes across as a virtue but really it only attracts people who are TOO full of entitlement and they bleed you dry. These issues run deep and do not undo overnight but you can start. The demands of your life challange you to resolve those issues of--self love--in a nurtureing way--boundries---entitlement---deserving all the joy life has to offer. It is said that the fifties are the healing years--IF we choose--it is the transition and hopefully wisdom one has gathered gathered. Are you familiar with the crone? In spiritual terms--she represents the gift of wisdom and harvest that comes with the moving closer to death--the aging process---the change of life for women. It shakes things up and any stuck places get a shove---physical issues come to the front--demanding closer intune and nurturing of our bodies--if we have led a past of too much give--the fifties will mirror that in a big way. The message is CHANGE---all that comes at you now is screaming no more complacency---hiding in others drama or putting your head in the sand---it is the last warning--no more extentions on a past due bill--CHANGE must happen to be open to receive the gifts the "crone" has to offer. Much of your worries are out of your control and often superficial if you can just put your own needs first when needed. Be kind to yourself--take care of yourself. BLESSINGS!

  • I have gave alot in the past and the now.... I do feel my physical and mental drowning....I want to find a quiet place in my life , but I cant seem to walk away from the responsibilities, which is my family. I just want to know when it will be my time with myself and my partner. I need to know if there will be happiness in my life , we are waiting for a house , will that happen. Im worried about my mother, and my son is my cross to bare... just looking for peace and happiness for me . Can you tell me if this will happen?

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  • ALL those external tugs are there for a REASON---to help you learn the secret of joy--your time---no matter where you are at. It's the living in the moment thing that you really really have a hard time grasping---it just frustrates you to hear it as you don't get it. You are stuck in victim thinking and that will irk you as well to hear--so that is why I have not responded again as I just do not have the words yet to explain to you why being so attached to the future is stealing the only thing anyone has--is now--right now and you must find fullfillment were you are as the future does not exhist--you could leave this earth any moment--your loved ones as well. You put too much energy into a place that does not exhist. There is never any magic time for anyone to have it smooth sailing--that would be called Heaven--and you have to die first. No, this is earth--the place of learning and finding Grace. We all juggle family tugs--responsabilities etc etc. Scan the posts---the things we endure. Happiness is not some lucky thing that drops into our laps. We make it happen. I've been a caretaker, I've lost a home once--- been rock bottom---burried a sister--burried a child. When you have decided you have had enough--deserve to be happy--you will! We cannot control most of what happens--only our perspective. You can make joyfull choices for yourself--you just choose not to. Once you see that you have more choices than you tell yourself--life will know you got it and will lift some of that load. Solve the lesson---yes, things will get better. BLESSINGS

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