AstraAngel-do you have time for one more reading?
If so-I appreciate any insight...I am not sure what I should do next-
I met a man this summer and we hit it off instantly. We had an immediate connection. I have a huge fear of commitment and he was aware of this. Despite that-I could feel myself starting to develop much deeper feelings and felt myself distancing from him-from fear? I'm not sure.....we discussed it and he said that my various comments about commitment had made him nervous-and I had freaked myself out as well. We cooled down and decided to stay 'friends'. We email for the most part and keep each other updated with our lives...I would say he initiates the contact 75% of the time. I feel like I COULD make a commitment to this man-but I don't know if there is too much water under the bridge or how I should proceed-or not....
Thank you-for any guidance you might be able to give me. I hate to let this slip through my fingers if there is any hope-and I also hate to wait for something that might not even be there.
Hi CrabbyMoon -
One more reading? For you? Anytime.
I will use a cross and that should expose the answer you seek.
You - Strength - You are really holding your own right now, I can sense a self-controll that is quite intense. You have your feelings under lock and key. Strength also intimates that you have a ferocity emotionally... once you open up in a relationship you are wild and free. Now, let's see what it will take to see you open up. Crabs do NOT like to come out of their little caves until they know the coast is clear for about a million miles in all directions. Tell you what. I'll be your lookout.
Situation with Mr. X - Wheel of Fortune - you spun it around a few times with him and liked what you saw. Then you got scared that it might land on a space that might imply commitment. And that is a volatile topic for you. Why? Past hurts? Cancer is very sensitive and deeply feeling, and because you are aware of how deep your love goes, you tend to guard that part of you with a vengeance. This isn't all bad, it shows how important the "real thing" is to you.
Crossing - Two of Wands - this shows the energy of choice staring you in the face right now. You are ready to move forward with him, however you are looking for a sign. Don't worry you will get it. Because...
Your Fondest Hopes and Dreams - The High Priestess - This tells us everything. Your concept of relationship is so pure and deep that you do not like to trivialize your heart on a relationship that does not share this same intuitive connection about spiritual love. And your love is definitely of the spiritual variety. Very high, very pure, very intense. What has caused the present situation with Mr. X though? Why haven't you two proceeded into "Phase 2" of your attraction to each other? The reason is...
Past Difficulties - The Ten of Swords - And now we know what is going on with you. A past heartbreak that devastated you. Something happened "back there" that ripped your love world apart and you have spent a lot of time and energy in restoring your heart back to the place you are now. You are not about to risk experiencing the same issue again... and so you are very, very cautious about love... and commitment is the one word you wish someone would erase from the dictionary. Don't worry, we'll redefine that word in this reading and you will be set free in that area!
Your most recent past (that you are leaving in the dust) - The Four of Swords - sees you letting the relationship simmer, as you pointed out he is the one more aggressive in this than you. So you are waiting, for that sign, or a feeling, or something to drop down on your head from the sky. This reading could be the switch that sends you into a deep love with him. Would you like that to happen? No? Then you had better stop reading this right now!
What's coming up for you, like it or not - Judgment - Woah, you are naked! And popping up out of a grave! What does that mean? It means you are entering a time in your life where you are finally coming out of that little cave you love, and you are shucking your clothes (your vulnerabilities) and are stepping out into something new and wonderful! Is it love? Is it a wonderful relationship with Mr. X? Hmmm...
Your future environment - The Moon - Do you have plenty of Kleenexes at home? LIke, a case of them? The moon tells us that your new "home" for this little crabbie will be a nice, emotional, secure place where you can finally let your emotions go wild! Cancers wait until they know the person they are with can handle it, then they let it all out. Are you ready to let Mr. X know totally how you feel? Cry on his shoulder? Does that make you cringe right now? That's because you aren't in the Moon card yet... don't worry, its coming! Also I think I saw some good deals at WalMart on a case of Kleenex for $9.99. I would get down there quick before the other Cancers find out about this special.
Your Outer Limits (how people around you are affecting you in this relationship) - The Five of Wands - You are not experiencing a lot of support in this situation. My sense os that you are keeping it all inside and trying to work it out on your own terms rather than run to talk to Betty Jo down the road from you. I see this as a good thing for you. You need to work through this on your own, no one is going to be able to help you. Except Heaven.
Your Hopes, and the one thing you are deathly afraid of - Three of Cups - Yes! We hit pay dirt. The Three of Cups is the LOVE SUCCESS card! This is what you long for along with that High Priestess Energy. Actually they work hand in hand. This card says that you really, really, REALLY want an amazing, wonderful, sensitive, deeply fulfilling and eroti c relationship. Like intense. However, with your Cancerian personality you are not going to let yourself go until you know that you know that you know you can really really really really really really REALLY trust Mr. X. Ah, love does make us a little nervous doesn't it?
And the FINAL OUTCOME - drum roll please... and the envelope please... and the Award for the most sensitive and careful and nervous little crab goes to........ YOU!! Oh, and the card is the EIGHT OF SWORDS - I saw this same card come up for someone else earlier today it was in the same position also I think.... you get the same explanation because today is Two for One on the Final Outcome card. The reading on this is. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT MUST DECIDE. You see, the person in this card set these swords around her and then ties herself up with a blindfold and hides her hands behind her back as if she is in trouble... "HELP! Help! Will someone save me!" She cries out. Well the reality is that she can walk away any time she wants. She likes the drama though. Cancers like drama. They feed on it I think, dragging it back to their little caves and have a feast with a glass of wine. I say all this to say that you are playing this out... is my sense with Mr. X. You actually enjoy where you are at with him, and are debating whether you can keep it strung along, or is he going to finally give up on you, at which point you are left with the question .. will anyone any better come along later? Maybe, maybe not.
You summed it up when you said "I hate to let it slip through my fingers... and I don't want to wait for something else that may never come".
So what's the real issue Crabbie? Is it the "commitment" word? You are afraid you will become entangled in something and then all of a sudden you are being pressed to be committed? You can still walk at that point. Or maybe you are concerned you will hurt his feelings? You two need to go on a rafting trip or one of those survival camps where you have to work together to figure things out to survive.
My advice? You are never going to get a clear sign other than this reading. You can't wait until the coast is all clear because the crabs eyesight is not the best. So what you are afraid of is what you CAN'T see rather than what you can. And the thing is you will never be able to size up the situation completely until you are actually IN a relationship. Then you can find out where all the skeletons are hiding.
Here is what I suggest. Move ahead with him, however - and this is very important - you must make a pact WITH YOURSELF that at the first sign of anything less than bliss with this guy YOU ARE GONE! Do you hear me? Make a commitment, not to him... there will always be other guys (although maybe not as cute as him? :)... you are making a COMMITMENT to yourself that you will not settle for anything less than perfection in a mate. I would make that really clear to him up front.. and then dive in with both feet... I would formalize it too... write out a nice document on parchment paper, go to the art store near you. You know, the one with those cute little sticker books you like, the ones with little cutouts of chocolate chip cookies and hearts, and little cupids and cupcakes... and create a very serious document that says something like "I, so and so, do hereby make this commitment to MYSELF that I will always treat myself as NUMBER ONE and at the first sign of anything less than perfect bliss in a relationship I AM Running, not walking out the door!" Then light some red candles (you should do this at night under a waxing moon that is close to a half, which we are approaching quickly now). Then do this in front of a mirror at night, and you should be naked too, because you are making a commitment to YOU not to your clothed, hiding, Crabbie nervous self... and read it out loud to you... then give yourself a big bear hug because YOU are the best friend and companion you will ever have. After this, you should burn the paper. The angels will see how serious you are and will then go to work on your behalf protecting and guarding you!
Then, I would go ahead and approach Mr. X and explain to him that "yes, I want to move ahead with this relationship in some way (keep it vague) however you must understand that I have made a Lunarian Love pact with myself!" You can tell him you practice the Lunarian spiritual ways handed down from the aztecs. Now, as long as you have gotten this far without busting out laughing, you can proceed to explain to him that he must understand that you can't commit to anything, except yourself. Explain to him that in obedience to the Lundarians, at the first sign of trouble, or a feeling that you are being cornered (crabbies do NOT like to be cornered into anything). you will be out the door so fast he will be repairing the hinges and replacing some of the wood the next day.
You are not afraid of commitment with another person. It is commitment to yourself that you are afraid of. By formalizing your feelings in a literal ceremony you will EXTERNALIZE what has so far been hidden back in that little crabbie cave of yours. By formalizing your commitment to YOURSELF you will be set free from ever having the nagging doubt that you will eventually be cornered in a relationship, which you don't need. No one needs that.
The reality though, is that when you keep the commitment issue to yourself buried and do not address it openly, you are never really sure about anything in love. You want to let yourself go... however those nagging doubts about the future... ugh! You do not like that mix of feelings... so you end up doing nothing. Which is also not good because you could be having the time of your life while you are waiting for everything to be picture perfect, and all the stars aligned, so that you know you can really, really, really, really, really, REALLY trust this person. That "really, really" knowing doesn't really exist. It is all in your mind.
Look at this way, let's say that I was able to convince you that you were head over heals in love with mr. X, and that all you can think about is him. You would be calling him at 3 in the morning, wondering what he is doing for the next 50 years, right? Of course. That is all in your mind. Feelings. Emotions. Crabbies have more feelings than a coon hound has fleas. And it is time for this little Crabbie to stop FLEA-ing from relationships and get DOWN to business! Hey, what's the worst that can happen? You find out he picks his nose or something?
Look Crabbie. You are a female, right? I am guessing that is the case. And Mr. X is a male, right? Well then, guess what? You two already have about 99.999% in common. You both breathe, have a brain, and gazillions of other things that are the same. You have some difference also, having to do with reproduction, however that is what you want. That is the one area where Crabbies really come into their own in a committed - ooops! - I said the "C" word! I meant to say, a commoded relationship. And what does commoded mean? It means that you will stick around with Mr. X as long as it is fun and turns you on, and is making your life a happier experience.. however at the FIRST SIGN of a downward direction, you are flushing the relationship down the COMMODE. Commoded! Write that on the document you will be burning in your ceremony.
The bottom line CrabbyLunarian, is that YOU are totally in the drivers seat on this relationship. You have been from the beginning. And all you have to do is formalize your devotedness to yourself, not to him.
Also, another tip. You really need to keep this guy on his toes. I would keep a score card with you at all times. Call it your Crabbie Love Scorecard or something. And after EVERY phone call, email, meet up, s e x, or whatever is going on with you two, I would SCORE HIM and keep track! This way you can stay in touch with how you really feel about him, and you can monitor the health of the relationship. He keeps you in A's and B plusses? He gets to stick around and the little Crabbie will keep playing. You start seeing some C's and D's? Pack your bags and leave him a note that says, "Gone shopping, be back in about a million years"... at first he will wonder, "waht happened! What happened to Crabbie?" Then he will remember what you explained to him at the onset, about your faithfulness to the Lunarian Love Sect, and he will put two and two together and figure you are being summoned back to the Moon or something... in any case it won't matter because you are taking care of YOURSELF and he will never hear from you again.
This is the only issue with Cancers. They have very deep feelings, however they have trouble formalizing what they are really feeling. They only know that some things freak them out and they spend a lot of time over analyzing situations before making a move. So you see a lot of Cancers kind of drifting through life, not really here, not really there. You like to make sure that little cave of yours is nearby! Well, by formalizing your commitment to yourself, you can keep your little cave with you every where you go!
I would not waste time. The moon is right, and you have a deep desire for Mr. X that you are not admitting to yourself. Get naked, write that agreement with yourself, burn it and then call him the next day and tell him you are ready to explain to him your religion, that it is finally time. You are the one who must keep the relationship on your terms, not his. Let him find his own weird religion!
1. Formalize a Commitment to YOU, not anyone else
2. Call him asap and explain your spirituality with the Lunarian Society and that you are ready to move forward with the relationship. (Make sure you have put some clothes back on first should you be seeing him right after the service. Unless you are prepared to explain to him about the bizarre s e x u a l practices of the Lunarians.
3. And Keep a Score card, a real one. Or at least a journal. AND KEEP TRACK OF how it goes.
Monday, Oct 3, 2011 - Had a date with Mr. X - we went and saw the movie 50/50 and it was fun. B+
Wednesday, Oct 5, 2011 - Went over to Mr X. house and he fixed dinner of Organic Garbonzo salad and a very expensive Muscatel wine to go with it - A+
Now, say next year it is going something like this...
Saturday, August 9, 2012- met up with Mr X to play Putt Putt golf. Ughh. Boring. C-
Friday, August 13, 2012 - Mr. X wanted me to help him pick weeds out of his yard... Ugh. D!!!!!! No... F!!!!!
Then, leave him the little note we talked about and move on. You see? It is YOU that must have a commitment to YOU. Not to him! Forget him. He has an obligation to make sure that life is wonderful for the two of you, and as long as that is really happening you are both happy and all is good! He drops the ball? And starts getting C's and D's? Hey, guess its time for this little Crabby Patty to find another sea squirt to play with!
Have fun! See what happens! With this method you have nothing to lose!
And everything to gain
Holy crap AstraAngel-that is an amazing reading and your interpretation is insightful and so so so well thought out. How can I even thank you for putting that kind of time or energy into that? You don't even know me and you did that for me....thank you.
I wish I could be as straight forward with my friend as you suggest...but I really spooked him with my comments about no commitments. We were intimate on several occasions and I backed off after that because I don't want to sleep with someone without it being monogamous-and I had already set the tone for that whole conversation by swearing for the entire time up until then that I was not looking for a 'relationship'. I didn't think I was :(...and then I fell for him. He did tell me then that he felt more for me than friendship but that I sent him very mixed signals by what I said.I was such a flustered dope and too protective of my feelings that I was the one who suggested we stay friends. UGH. I don't even know how to get myself out of this mess-because while we ARE communicating....it is simple and friendly. No innuendo or flirting at all. FWIW-he's a cancer as well.
Anyway-thank you, thank you, thank you again. You are amazable
The fact that you are both Crabs throws you situation in a new light (I should have asked about that first!) I do have an idea for you that could be the answer for you, and wanted to get this to you asap as time could be running out for you in this relationship!
Having an intimate relationship with someone who is the same sign as you can pose some problems. You are both much the same, so when you are shopping the aisles at the grocery store for chocolate chip cookie dough, and little heart shaped wall plaques to hang in your kitchen, your friend is right there with you. Now at first this might seem nice, however as you have discovered there are some issues with this as regards balance. And for this relationship to work you both need a balancing energy to keep things rolling along without the bumps you have been experiencing so far.
Think of your astrological signs as weights on car wheel. When they balance your tires they add little weights at certain spots to keep the wheel rolling smoothly. Now, when the wheel is balanced as is, they don't add any weights. Should there be an issue they find the perfect "sweet spot" to add a little weight, and the wheel is balanced and there are no problems when you hit the road.
Think of your relationship with this man as both you and him adding your little weights to a wheel that was already balanced (the zodiacal wheel). Now, you two have tried to take that out for a spin and guess what - you had issues! Not surprising as your wheel (the relationship itself) is out of balance. What is the answer?
You need a balancing energy (weight) opposite you on the wheel to create a smooth ride! What does that mean? In a nutshell, you need another person or persons to be involved with the two of you who are opposite you on the wheel.
Now, I realize that this may strike you as a little wild, after all you are trying to simply understand and move forward perhaps with this one man, not three people! The fact is though, you NEED a balancing energy in the mix somehow to help keep everything nice and even keeled.
What would this balancing energy be? Well, my first thought was a strong Capricorn female to your relationship. Now, that might feel a little threatening unless you are very secure in your s e x ualtity. Another idea is to add another couple who are both pretty much opposite signs... either Sagittarius, Capricorn, or Aquarius. Your opportunity here is to begin looking for a nice person or couple to bring into your existing relationship!
Think about it, now you have a little more security so that you don't feel so pinned down into a simple one to one relationship! Cancers have a fear of being cornered, however they often thrive in social situations, and enjoy being the focus of attention. Some can even be a little narcissist! I do not believe that is the case with you, although it can happen.
So, here is some more guidance for you.
First of all, do you already have anyone you are close to who is a Capricorn? A girlfriend perhaps? Or, do you know a couple who are weighted on the opposite side of the wheel? Sag, Cap or Aquarius... There! That could very well be your answer! Now, I know this is probably NOT what you were expecting, however this is exactly how the UNiverse often works! Ideas can come from directions you hadn't considered, and it turns out to be the perfect solution!
What's that you say? You don't know anyone like that? Hey, that's why the Universe invented CraigsList! Go to craigslist and under personals put out a "feeler" for another couple with the requirements we talked about, and go ahead and spell out your situation! And explain that a psychic is giving you guidance and you are following instructions in order to find a great relationship and a wonderful, deeply fulfilling and intimate lifestyle! I GUARANTEE that you will have a lot of replies and your heart will guide you to who you should reach out to. You and your BF should then meet up with them, and have coffee and see how it goes.
Now, I know that this may not be something you have done before. That's okay! There is a fgirst time for everything! And, don't worry, I am not talking about all four of you in bed together! What I am suggesting is that you have a VERY intimate relationship with your new person/couple so that they become involved with your situation. It could simple be a meet up once in a while with them for dinner and drinks, and you can all TALK about your relationship and how its going. Then, I promise you that this new person/s will help you immensely figure things out and their presence will provide a perfect balancing energy to your relationship!
Hey, it's worth a try!
Here are some cards to explore this option, as well as general guidance at this point...
I created a custom spread to field this direction:
1. The potential for adding a balancing energy (person/s) to your relationship with Mr. X - The Seven of Pentacles - This card shows a beautiful lady standing under a full moon very large in the background. The Seven of Pentacles is a card of choice between what you already have with your BF, and what you COULD HAVE by taking a different direction. I see this is a very positive encouragement to find that special person to help you here. This card seems to be indicating that your perfect third companion will be a lovely lady who will intuit the both of your nicely. It would be sweet.
2. The Outcome of adding this new balancing energy - The Queen of Swords! - Hey, there she is again! The Queen of Swords is one calm cookie, the perfect match for Cancer's Kleenex and kitchen trivet with little ducks on them! She is cool-headed, and able to see with logical clarity every aspect of your relationship! She could say one word that would send you and BF off into Cloud 9 with feeling safe and avoiding "commitment" while having fun! I see this as another fantastic sign that we are on the right track. Crabby, again, the website is called CraigsList.
3. How you will feel about this new arrangement - The Eight of Cups! - Eights are all about organization and adjustments. On this card I see yet this same lady again! I am using the Mystic Dreamer Tarot. She is looking off into a river scene and she is holding a violin. And there is a lighthouse in the distance. I see all of these as beautiful signs of love in bloom, she is serenading you in some way with her instrument. And the fields are alive with the sound of love, making this a wonderful experience for you.
4. How Mr. X will feel about this new arrangement - The Knight of Wands - He speaks softly and carries a big stick, and he is hot on the heels of passion and romance. This is knight looks happy to me, he is kneeling and looking up at his staff, so I see this as a nice sign that he would be thrilled with the developments. Let's keep going!
5. The part this other person will play - The Knight of Cups! You see! She is the perfect balance to the two of you, she has a Knightly influence which is a cushion for the two of you to discover that you can finally relax with each other, and be there for one another in a supportive way, without any commitments. And, on this card the Knight IS a lady! So here she is again and she is looking directly at YOU Crabby. I see her as possibly becoming the best friend you ever had. A "She-Goat" who can accurately guide you in this relationship and help keep everything balanced - and "sweet"!
6. And... Where this will take YOU personally. Now CrabbyMoon, I am going to focus only on you here... forget Mr. X and Miss Y for a moment... this is a card for you to see where this will take you in your own personal and private life... Ahhh... the Queen of Wands! There you are, reigning in life, and sitting very secure in yourself. There is a BIG sunflower by this Queen and that is what I see for you - like the Sun opening up for you and ALL of that nagging, cancerian should I, should I not?, what will happen? Can i trust, what will happen?... I see all of that GONE like a puff of smoke in a hurricane! You are poised, confident and secure, very secure and enjoying your own private life immensely.
Also, look at the fact that I drew a the Queen Wands to your BF's Knight of Wands so this shows some amazing developments in the relationship! Plus, your she-goat companion is the Knight of Cups, so you see what a nice medly this is! Knight - Queen - Knight! There it is, THE BALANCE!
Okay Crabby, I will let your ponder this and will await your response and we'll go from there. I feel very strong about this, I was praying about your situation this morning after reading your reply and it came to me like a flash of lightning. Balance! You need another aspect in order to bring the conflicting energies into resonance. THat is all you are dealing with in the relationship with Mr. x... there are some energy imbalances that have caused the both of you to retreat until you can figure this thing out.
So what do you think? I am excited, and I am a Capricorn so I can really sense the fantastic potential here. Heck, were I living anywhere near you I would volunteer for the role of the girlfriend you need! I would LOVE it!
Love and light to you!
P.S. I would not drag your heals too long on this. You keep questioning and wondering and waiting and this WILL slip away and you will be waiting again for something else to come along. The MOON energy is PERFECT right now, I would call a Capricorn today that you know or I would get that listng in Craigslist ASAP. Heavenly guidance as you are receiving now comes with a window of opportunity to act, and you should move ahead in faith and trust. As long as you are doing SOMETHING you are on the right path... sitting around and just wondering and asking questions and waiting will fizzle.
OMG-AstraAngel-you're killing me here, lol. First...I almost feel like you might know me... both my friend and I have dabbled in including others in past relationships-but we have never done it together. I honestly don't know how I would handle a jealousy factor-if one were to pop up. It would seem to me that there would need to be a strong relationship with my friend first-before adding 'someone to balance' us into the mix-no? And if I am reading correctly-you are saying to include a third (or fourth) partner....as a member of the relationship....not just for sex. THAT is a whole 'nother ball game-no?
yes, I would expect that trust would have to be very important, and certainly not something that could create jealousy. The point I think would be to have this other viewpoint, a shared heart with another(s) with whom you and your BF are both very comfortable. As I was thinking of your situation, I keep sensing this kind of isolated sense, like your relationship with your bf was something isolated, cut off from the rest of the Universe... and the two of you feel like you are both alone at sea together... almost a sense of aloneness in the midst of the two of you. And so my heart keeps searching for some way to connect the both of you into something larger so that you don't feel like everything is hinging on the two of you.
Since you are both Cancer, the feeling i have is that when you are together this feeling of being alone in the Universe is amplified by the fact that you both share the same Sun Sign... so then you finally cry out, arghh! there has to be a wider Universe than that! So you two run apart from each other in hopes of finding that connection with the larger love that is the love that encloses and surrounds us all. So that led me to think, what about another partner or a couple with whom you are both very very comfortable. Preferable opposite on the wheel as we talked about so that they can bring a balancing spirit into the mix... it is something to consider anyway. My own experience seems to show that conj sign or adjacent sign relationships can be a challenge.
Here are some cards to open this out a little... using the Lovers Tarot by Lyle...
Four of Pentacles - This is a card of a security concerns... for a Cancer security is paramount. So when you two are together it could be like OMG even though we have a nice enough relationship, there is something here that is reminding my of my own need for security and it could turn out that you had to run in order to escape the deep need you were sensing for that security... imagine you are lost on a desert thirsty... and you meet your bf on the desert and he is thirsty too! Now, you both could really like each other a LOT, and yet still not be able to meet each others needs for water. You could keep gazing into each other's eyes however that ain't gonna satisfy your thirst .. so you say look, let's split up and each look for water, and as soon as I find some, I will send some smoke signals and we can get back together! That is kind of the picture i am seeing... which led me to the thought of an expanded relationship where you find the water (balancing energy in another individual's loving presence), and that provides the water that you and your bf need,... then you reach out to him... "hey, i think i have stumbled on to something, i have a friend (Ms Q) who I am really close to... and she is a Capricorn and I want you to meet her... have a really nice dinner with candles and wine and set the mood and see where the energies take you... you should talk it over with your bf first and make sure he is willing to try it...
You mentioned the jealousy factor... and that could actually be a good thing for you to feel... because part of this security thing with Cancer is, once they get their claws on something they want, they do not like to let go. So that exacerbates the security concerns... now, surprisingly the way to be free of that is to intentionally expose the relationship with your bf to that possibility. Then, inside yourself you are becoming aware that you are very confident and trusting in the Universe to work everything out for the best. Then, that is where you find your connection in the love above, that wider, vast pool of "love waters" from which to connect all of you together into a larger sphere of love.
I am probably not saying all of this exactly right however I hope you gain the sense of it. As for what is permissible in this larger joining between you, bf and Ms Q (and another?) is up to you to discover and identify. It could make for pleasant dinner conversations! As you open your hearts totally to one another, trust flows and grows... it could be very, very nice... the moon is in a nice phase now for nice new things to start up. First Quarter! Perfect time to call Ms Q today and see what she is doing Friday night for dinner?