Male Dominance: is it accepted?
In the same boat with my own husband, dear Paddi!!!
So the question I have been pondering is...Is it us? Or is it them? Or a combination of the two?
Am I not soft enough in the feminine ways and therefore make him feel as if he is in constant competition with me? He must show his worth, prove his worth and thereby make him feel as though he is deserving of me?
I never felt otherwise.
SO have I become too male oriented with the "I can bring home the bacon and serve it up in a pan" mentallity of the 60's and 70's such that he no longer feels there is a place for his own role?
Or are we both, too damaged from our own upbringing or parental role models to allow anyone that much control over ourselves ever again?
Perhaps it is somewhere inbetween all that as we both strive for a place in the world where we hold meaning?
A man said to me to keep a guy happy, you have to be a chef, in the bedroom and a slave in the kitchen??
what do you think,
I think he ended up a very lonely man!
And Ibelieve---yes I do think behind every bad man is a weak woman! Too weak to either run or at least inspire more from him.
I guess that's why his marriage ended then lol.. i posted that to some male friends.. two agreed, but one never.. so its complex
Let’s talk about the “s” word (it has an “ex” at the end to be clear what I am speaking of) You all want to. You all want to believe this is our power but it is NOT! It is only the vehicle with which we BESTOW power upon another. But not always the case. We must desire to bestow said power. This desire taps into our ability to actually raise (create) power from the source.
Males seek power, it is inherent in their DNA structure. It is an instinct they are born to and part of this animal kingdom we live in. How to gain said power is an enigma, many studies have been made in humans and animals. It is still a valid idea for study, no one is truly sure where the alpha male gets his power. Is he born with it? Does he strip it from others? Does he just happen to come by it and build from there?
Well all of the above are somewhat true. Some males are born to more power than others; this makes them “betas” and gives them a shot at becoming the “alpha.” As for stripping others…the more followers he gains behind him, the more power base he has but they are not loyal, they will switch sides or run and save their own hide in a moment if it appears their pseudo alpha is not alpha enough to overthrow another. These men behind him do not actually “give” him any power but only back him up against another crowd. So there really is no way to strip power from another and actually gain it for yourself.
So let’s talk about gaining more power than you were born with. Power is energy, basic science. Use a lever to gain more energy than you start out with to life a heavy object. That is using the power inherent in another object (or person) to back you up but does not give you additional power only a temporary boost as the object still retains its own energy and none was created.
The “s” word also represents energy. It is in fact a form of energy. It is also energy you expel that depletes you. Desire however, creates energy, builds it up within you and drives you. This is true of both males and females. The act can temporarily deplete you yet it leaves more behind than what was expelled. There is a base of power inherent in you and it can expanded and added to BUT just engaging in the act is not enough to build this power, this energy. That can and will deplete you, age you in fact. It is the desire, the thing we call love that creates more from the source.
When you give another your love (real love) you share this power, this energy, you created or tapped into. You harness it and share it with one another fully and completely. They do the same for you but there is also a difference.
The female is the source of this power, not the male. Males seek power, it is inherent in their DNA. Females have the ability to create more power and extend it to a male. They can also strip them of their power, take from them what little they were born with and deplete it, leaving them empty.
Men only understand for the most part that they desire “s”. What they really desire is power and somewhere in the back of their minds they understand this as a way of gaining it. But it is not the act itself that gains them the additional power but the female who must create it and give it to him, willingly. It can not be stolen from her or stripped or coerced. She gives it freely or not at all. And she can be devious if not cherished and protected as is her right (and her basic inherent DNA sponsored desire.) In her deviousness, she will give the act but not the power. That she can withhold. The man may not understand what is going on. Something is not right, they are having “s” but he does not feel like he should. He does not understand. He does not want the “s” even though he firmly believes that is his primary goal, it is the power he desires and he is not getting it.
Why do we use the term having “s”; because it is just an act. Yet we also use the term “making love” as it is the making of something. The creation of additional energy.
What makes a woman “s” (exy?) Is it her looks? We think so and yet there are plenty of these women that hold no power over men. They may engage in the act but nothing is shared if she can not raise the power. How about that woman who everyone knows exudes this allure the minute she walks into a room but can not stand up to the example of beauty we think we understand?
It is the amount of power emanating from her that drives men wild. This is what they want. It is not a confidence born of looks but a DNA device telling them she represents a power they can possess. Her confidence is in knowing she can bestow it or strip it from all comers at her command. She can go it alone but truly seeks a protector who will cherish her above all others, honoring and upholding her ideals. To this male she will raise and give freely energy and power directly from the source knowing it will not be misused or deplete her.
So if you happen to be a male and reading this and wonder why you and your mate are not getting along, why you can engage in the act and feel somewhat sated but depleted as well. Maybe you should wonder at whether you are honoring her and cherishing her. What is meant by the statement that you are not meeting her emotional needs or she yours. If you do not honor her, she will not raise the power. For the most part she is not being mean (she can be if it continues) she can’t raise the power if she does not feel it, she can not connect with it, she becomes depleted as well as you two continue to engage in an act (whether the “s” or the act of living) which expends energy and yet raise none to renew or add to it.
We females, know we are withholding something, for the most part it is a direct knowledge of something but we don’t fully comprehend what it is. We will say “it is ourselves” we are withholding or our love or our “grace.” We do not “grace” them with our presence. Oh we may be there but it is our “essence” we are withholding; our “gift” our ability to raise and bestow energy, “power”.
And here you thought males were the ones with the power. Men can only use, deplete and destroy power, women create it. Basic fact of animal life here on this planet.
Now for that man who wants only to use a woman as in scully's post. Be carefull what you ask for. He will NEVER know power and it is his loss, he is in effect a failure to his species.
Hey Girl, too deep for me right now, not enough sleep! HAIL TO THE VEE!
THE RETURN OF THE DIVINE FEMININE THEY SAY IS HERE NOW! YEAH!