In Need of Guidance

  • Hi,

    My DOB:01 April 1982 and My husband's DOB:12 March 1980.

    I have been married for 2 years now and have lot of issues between us.Mainly because of my MIL and my husband's Elder Brother's WIFE (His SIL) interference in our relationship.Our relationship ruined to a greater level because of them.Also my husband has issues with my family members too.I have a 7 month old son and i dont have a job to be independent.Presently we are living far from my in-laws in USA, but the worst part is now they want to come and settle with us permanently

    My query is "Will they come here to stay with us?"

    I am worried about my son's future.Can someone please help me.

  • The prognosis for an enduring marriage here is not good. The two of you are complete opposites and while that may have attracted you, it can also divide you. As spouses, you would have made happier friends or - even better - casual companions sharing common activities. The pattern for this relationship is for information or insight to come to light suddenly and sometimes shockingly. Neglected issues will often brew until they burst forth, either in a dramatic flash of realization or simply as a gradually emerging truth. A lack of awareness is typical here, because your husband is a dreamer and an escaper from reality, so it is not uncommon for the two of you to be buffeted by outside events. This can create growth in the relationship but can also endanger it. Attempts at becoming more aware of the problems that are being experienced (making your spouse more aware of them) is necessary to smooth out some of the shock waves. He may not be conscious of your depth of anxiety. But it is only a matter of time before you rebel.

    There are contradicitons in your relationship - you have an inextinguishable need for independence, and any binding of your energies to your husband's needs and demands will become increasingly strained as the months and years go by. He (who is not known for making realistic partner choices) may fail to comprehend how dependent he has become on you; perhaps needing to be needed, he may undergo a psychological crisis when you finally put your foot down. And if you have gone this far in freeing yourself, you are unlikely to slip back into your old role pattern.

  • Hi Captain,

    Sorry for the late reply.Thank you so much for the interpretation.You are right on.I love being independent.Also i agree that we both are completely different.I could relate to each and every point above.Thank you once again for the insight.It helped me a lot.

  • You're very welcome! 🙂

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