Taurus woman calling on all Cancers



  • I am a Taurus woman. Where do I begin? I met this Cancer man five years ago. He initially pursued me, relentlessly. being a Taurus of course, I'm very guarded, and at times, not very trusting. I need to see an individual's 'REAL' motives before I take it further. He came on real strong. Real strong! He called me excessively, asked me to help pick out his pool table, wanted to introduce me to his friends and family members, and brought up the idea of starting a business together. I loved being with him. The sex, was out of this world. He made me feel safe. But I simply wanted to take things slow. Plus, I had other committments. He didn't seem to understand why I didn't want to spend more time with him. This led to a lot of arguments. The craziest thing? He told me that he never wanted to get married and have children. Nor did he ever tell me where we were headed. So you can imagine, to a Taurus, coming on real strong, too soon without giving us any certainty to where the relationship is headed...screams BIZARRE! I didn't know what to make of him. So I weened him off, and just eventually ended it. No explanations. I thought that he seemed rather odd, or maybe suffering from a split personality.

    I don't want to attack Cancers. Actually, I think they're great. I am just as much to blame. As I indicated earlier, Tauruses can be extremely guarded, and distrustful of other people. Especially if we do not know what your intentions are. We can also be introverted, horrific communicators, and like Cancers, can also have conflicting personalities, Tauruses 'internalize', and then end it. We never really go into details as to why we ended a relationship. He tried to get in contact with me several times wanting an explanation. I didn't care to give him one, because my heart had already moved on to someone else. Was this the best way to handle it? No. Tauruses are not perfect either. I moved on to a Leo. Great guy. We seperated because he took a position overseas. I relocated to NYC.

    Fast Forward to 3 years later. I was going to visit NC. I was celibate for three years. Not a personal choice, but due to overwhleming circumstances that prevented me from pursuing serious relationships. I decided to contact the Cancer. I was very clear about what my intentions were. Hang out/sex/w/no strings attached since I was going to be in town for only a few days.

    He declined. He was in a relationship. It was cool. I understood. Made nothing of it.

    Fast forward to 1.5 years later. He contacts me. He tells me that he is going to in NYC for two weeks. He is no longer in a relationship. He wanted to know why I ended things abruptly. I told him the truth. Then, he asked me what I thought about marriage and children. He told me that he wanted marriage and children in the future. WTF? This is not what he stated 5 year earlier. He has a way of communicating 'sideways' with me. I hate that. He didn't directly come out and tell me what his intentions were. He was going to stay in Yonkers, NY. I live in Brooklyn. I told him that Yonkers was a bit far, and then he hurries up and tells me that he has family in Brooklyn. Getting around will be no problem. I told him to give me some time to think about it. I will call him. For Tauruses, we need to re-priortize things when something is thrown at us the last minute. His phone number changed, and he has never called me back!

    My question was...What were his REAL intentions? Did he want a booty call? He 'sidesteps' everything. It's maddening for aTaurus. LOL!



  • Honestly, as of now, I have yet to read your entire post. I am a taurus female, in a relationship with a cancer male for almost 2 years. i just broke it off, but he is not letting me break it off....

    It is complicated........

    I get it all...i do



  • @Taurus7

    Sorry for the epic. LOL. I read your previous post(s) in other forums with your Cancer man. I'm sure you can relate.

    Fast forward to 1.5 years later. He contacts me. He tells me that he is going to in NYC for two weeks. He is no longer in a relationship. He wanted to know why I ended things abruptly. I told him the truth. Then, he asked me what I thought about marriage and children. He told me that he wanted marriage and children in the future. WTF? This is not what he stated 5 year earlier. He has a way of communicating 'sideways' with me. I hate that. He didn't directly come out and tell me what his intentions were. He was going to stay in Yonkers, NY. I live in Brooklyn. I told him that Yonkers was a bit far, and then he hurries up and tells me that he has family in Brooklyn. Getting around will be no problem. I told him to give me some time to think about it. I will call him. For Tauruses, we need to re-priortize things when something is thrown at us the last minute. His phone number changed, and he has never called me back!

    (I copied and pasted the last paragraph if that helps...:)



  • Hello TaurusFemmeFatale,

    “…..My question was...What were his REAL intentions? Did he want a booty call? He 'sidesteps' everything……”

    I am no expert, to say the least, but I would venture to say that this Cancer man is TERRIFIED of you at this juncture! You were the manifestation of a Cancer’s greatest fear, rejection!!! Cancer men are THE most EMOTIONAL and SENSITIVE creatures amongst the zodiac. They are notorious for disclosing a harder exterior outwardly, as a means to cover their vulnerable/fragile/insecure and sensitive feelings/nature that truly exists inwardly. He fell hard for you in the very beginning as is not uncommon for most Cancer men to do. They are known to fall in love very easily when someone wins there trust/affection.

    You mention that he seems to ‘sidestep’, lol! That is another common demeanor for Cancers, if you have ever seen a real live crab navigate the earth you will note that they too move in a side-ways and sometimes slightly backwards fashion; they are not usually direct in their approach; in relationships of love, during the initiating/discovery phase of dating; they are rarely (not in ALL cases) the ones to initiate the FIRST move, but will wait until they are approached after they may have “indirectly” hinted in some way that they were interested; once and after a few advances are initiated toward them. Once their feelings/emotions are fully engaged, they will usually rush right in with sheer determination. They are VERY, I mean VERY introspective and must have time to THINK things through once they are smitten with a potential lover; it is during this ‘down’ time, when they have retracted from contact into their (crab) shell that most women begin to get agitated, confused and furious at them and begin to make he conclusion that they are a ‘fraud’, lol!! This is (fraud) rarely ever the case. It is just that Cancers are very very unconventional and eccentric in their demeanor; especially in matters of the heart. This may be why you felt that he ‘seemed’ odd, but for the most part they are very intelligent individuals. Don’t underestimate them. It is simply VERY difficult for a Cancer male in our ‘mocho-male’ society where men aren’t expected to be so ‘touchy-feeling’, ‘emotional’ or ‘sensitive’ and sometimes we women can be very emotionally addictive, aggressive and harsh toward a man when he doesn’t respond/behave in a manner that we deem acceptable. This can be a very volatile/hostile environment for a Crab man, lol! Again, they present their touch, hard-shelled exterior to the world, but there have fiercely sensitive innards.

    Cancers tend to be very ‘guarded’ as well, mostly during the early forming phase of a relationship; they are terrified that their feelings will be hurt by someone so they are very careful to ‘vet’ a potential lover; this explains a lot of the ‘disappearing acts’ that they are criticized for in relationships on this forum. They tend to be, by far the most loving, gentle, nurturing and sensitive men a woman will ever met and because of this women LOVE THEM, but in spite of this fact, they are one the most emotionally insecure males you probably meet. Don’t get me wrong, this does NOT, but any means equate to bein ‘weak’ because they are very strong, determined and tenacious in most other respects, but in matters of the heart, in love, they are all ‘water’, deep, moody, and extremely sensitive, unlike the average man. It is their being in touch with their emotions, feelings and their demonstration of their feelings that causes most women to all head over hills in love with them.

    You mentioned that it was HE who came on very very strong in the beginning, that may be so, but my guess is that there had to have been SOMETHING about you or about your behavior that gave him a sure signal/impression that the feelings were mutual?? It is just very unusual for a Cancer to be ‘full-steam’ ahead without some assurance/notion that they won’t face REJECTION in the process, lol!! You mentioned that the “SSEEXX was out of this world”, yet ANOTHER common characteristic of a Cancer man, they are ALL ABOUT nurturing and pleasing their mate in the bedroom!! Another trait that makes them so mind-blowing to most women, right, lol! They have this, “your needs fulfilled” before “their needs fulfilled” way of approaching love-making! This is a definite win right!

    You say you ‘wanted to take things “slow”. It seems to me though, that somewhere along the way he may have gotten mixed-signals from you. Remember these guys are ALL ABOUT ‘Feelings” and making love is about as ‘FEELING/EMOTIONAL’ as two people can get! So to him, this is a ‘yes’, I want this relationship, to a certain extent, but then at some point you begin to ‘back off’. This you say led to a “…lot of arguments…” and “his not being about to understand why you didn’t want to spend more time with him…..” And you say that you gave him no explanation or reason for why. So now, at this juncture he is beginning to pick up the ‘REJECTION’ vibe. Cancers are EXTREMELY INTUITIVE. You said that at some point following this he began to make expressions of ‘how he didn’t want to get married or have children….”, etc. This was, in my opinion, his way of retracting into his hard exterior ‘shell’ to protect himself from further “damage”, pain of rejection, hurt feelings. So he “fronts” with expressions of nonchalance; in an effort to show you that he too is NOT that SERIOUS about you EITHER (but in actuality he’s smitten to some extent).

    You describe that you basically dropped him gradually and moved on. Was it that you were overwhelmed with his characteristic intense expression of emotions/feelings? Just curious.

    You go on to say that some years go by and then you are in town so you decide to contact him “…to hook up, hang out and maybe some ‘relations’, but with no strings attached…” and you say that you made it very ‘CLEAR’ that your intentions were. He told that he was in a relationship. My guess is even if he wasn’t in a relationship, he would have told you anything to keep from being put in a vulnerable and painful position with you again. In no intent to be mean, judgmental or anything of that nature, but what I know about Cancers, you were one of THE LAST people that he wanted to allow to get close to his heart again. He likely has not gotten over the pain of rejection from the years prior. HE may have taken YOUR intentions as a “Booty” call frankly.

    These are generally not men (not saying exclusively) who are JUST interested in only the physical aspects of a woman/relationship (SSEEXX alone, w/out the whole kit-n-caboodle, emotions/feelings being attached). His contacting you some 1 ½ years following your ‘reach out’ to him, but in my guessing, his uncommitted attempt to bravely go beyond the reality of his still wounded/insecure emotions from the unpleasant breakup before that. He could not bring himself to follow through with it. When I say these men are TERRIFIED of rejection, I mean it!! Personally, I think it’s unfortunate that, you being an “Earth” sign forsook a ‘Water” sign Cancer male for a Leo male, lol!! They are Fire signs and while the exciting of the ‘Fire” to “Water” opposing attraction may have very well been there and strong in the beginning or “honey-moon” phase of this courtship; I think the ‘long-term’ affects between you too would possibly not be all that promising or ‘easy’ to maintain. But again that’s just my personal opinion and being a Water-sign myself having dated for a few years a ‘Fire’ Leo . This mix would require a lot of push/pull and compromise on both parts to make it be harmonious union.

    Cancers are very nostalgic of things/people of their past, whether good or bad. They DO NOT FORGET ANYTHING, their memories are likened to a steal-trap and once they are hurt, as it seemed he may have been from prior years, he will take some time to come out of his ‘shell’ and get over it. Cancers don’t usually give someone a second opportunity to scorn them, unless they were really really really, really, really, into you and they were 500% really really into you and certain that you could be trusted to handle their delicate heart with care, lol. Seeming that the history/roots/bond between you two was not that long nor that it mutually/pleasantly ended he may not be so inclined to open back up to you. Unfortunately some other, unsuspecting, woman will have to deal with this emotional ‘baggage’ he likely is suffering from.

    Again, remember these people relate to, express, and ‘touch’ their worlds through/with their feelings/emotions. They are also a sign that is ruled by the Moon, so they are inclined to moodiness and vacillating feelings; up one day down another, but keep in mind the Moon changes planets every 2 ½ days so it’s no wonder they vacillate so and are moody creatures; they themselves feel victimized by it. The name of the game with Cancer is PATIENCE. If you’re sincerely interested in a relationship with one and you don’t have it (patience) you’ll gain it. If you’re not sincerely interested in a sincere relationship with one then don’t even bother because you won’t last without it, lol! Cancer men are in a league of their own; they are NOT your ‘average Joe’  I call them THE Man’s Man of the zodiac!! The mantra of a Cancer is “I Feel”.

    They know what a woman needs emotionally and physically and they deliver it, but it you as a women present them with a foundation that is shaky/unpredictable and insincere (remember they are highly intuitive) their sometimes unpredictable behavior will drive you batty; however, if you really are sincere and you want them, if you can endure the challenges pas the point of them becoming emotionally ‘secure’ and trusting of your motives/intentions and feelings toward them and they no longer detect the possibility of ‘emotional rejection’ from you; they are WELL WORTH THE WAIT and every ounce of effort to get to past that point! They are very loving and attentive, but they will always struggle with moodiness, but it’s not usually anything personal .

    I apologize for being so long-winded here, but prayerfully I’ve given you some insight and/or perspective that you will find beneficial in your journey 

    I wish you much success, love and light TaurusFemmeFatale,

    TT



  • TaurusFemmeFatale,

    One additional, thing, as if I haven't said enough already, LOL! The older and more mature a Cancer man is the more emotionally stable and genuine you can find them to be. That may be true for most everyone for sure, but definitely true for these men. They struggle with their emotional selves for many years before they are comfortable, feel less victimized and more in control of their emotional selves. So just thought that was worth pointing out, I don't know the age of this one you are dealing with 🙂

    Light & Love,

    TT



  • Sorry, correction, this should have said,

    "....They are also a sign that is ruled by the Moon, so they are inclined to moodiness and vacillating feelings; up one day down another, but keep in mind the Moon changes ZODIAC signs every 2 ½ days so it’s no wonder they vacillate so and are moody creatures; they themselves feel victimized by it".

    The moon changes ‘zodiac’ signs every 2 ½ days, not planets.



  • I knew a taurus that use to ask me about intentions every time I would talk to him again, I never really understood that, I'm a cancer and I was thinking, " I have no idea, I guess to see where it goes"? If it will work out? If I didn't have a plan I might as well have not bothered, because I wasn't exactly sure what intentions they were looking for and if mine were going to the be the ones they were looking for, eventually I would just say" to get with you and take over the world" 🙂 as I was never going to be able to prove my intentions were sincere without being to show that beyond just words. Thats true Transformed we defintly feel vicitimized by our ever changing moods lol. Our feelings however usually run deep, cancer can go back to a former a relationship because they never seem to truly leave the past behind anyway, but we can be very put off by taurus' way of getting out and over it , moving on very quickly, its something we don't understand. I think if the cancer male is asking about marriage and children he has had it in his mind for a while , so he just threw it out there, that to me would say he was looking for more of a serious relationship with a person he feels he could be in love with for long the haul.



  • I think his intentions were most likley to connect with someone he felt he had a connection with and he felt free to finally do it, but yes sometimes if we are put on hold, we will run scared, taking that as the answer. If you can reach your old friend and want too, I would try and just offer a sincere apology for hurting his feelings, i know you shouldn''t have too as you were just being honest, but he will understand that once its explained to him and if you do want to see him he may decide to come visit after all:) Some cancers are amazing grudge holders, but if we have feelings left over for someone we tend to get over it.



  • What The Transformed said is so wise, insightful, helpful and just plain good. Thank you Transformed...

    I am not honestly sure what your cancer was up to. Mine ALWAYS talks sideways, that is one of the main reasons I broke it off. He however, is not accepting that . I understand why, I do. I know he loves me. I have no doubt. I just need more. I do not want to force or push him, so I have a choice to make. Either stay and accept it or move on.

    Which is an almost impossible choice, BC I have never loved a man like I love him. However, I do need complete intimacy. I feel a little short changed int hat department with him. But I do understand why. but understanding why does not change what I need.

    So, I am trying to figure out if I can move on (which is not working out so well) or if I can just accept who he is and have that type of a relationship.

    I am still in the process of that.

    But, with your man, I would say that right now, fear is his ruling emotion.



  • Taurus7! It's nice to read you! lol

    I'm sorry to hear you are still struggling with your relationship but I am happy to hear you haven't cut and run. If J knows what your issues with him are and he cannot understand or see your point of view, that is a tough situation. Have you two sat down and had a deep conversation about what each others wants and needs are, and what needs to be done to meet them? Are you both being forward with each other or is one of you holding back?

    TheTransformed You do know Cancer men. That is for sure. I felt like I was reading my autobiography, if I had one lol. There is nothing more hurtful to any man, women, sign, than having a lover cut and run. I was hoping it wasn't a common trait of Taurus's but the more I read about them the more I think it may be. I had to pry my ex to the point of being a psycho before she would say anything about why. And by that point it was too late anyway. The damage was done. I think we as adults who say we care about people should have more respect for people even if they aren't as perfect as we want them to be. We all know what it feels like to be dumped and unwanted, so we should remind ourselves of that if we decide things are working out. The only time I feel a cut and run breakup is acceptable is when someone is cheating or being physically or emotionally abusive. Is none of these things are happening, we have no excuse for treating another human so harsh and selfishly. Plain and simple.



  • "so we should remind ourselves of that if we decide things AREN'T working out"



  • OMG TaurusFF , you described me to a "T" I first read this post five days ago , and each day tried to reach out to your post but feared it wasnt coming out as clear as I would like it to be , so I almost didnt post at all! Where do I start, well first of all I think Transformed is right he is terrified of you of course , when you first contacted him , he may or may not have been in a relationship , either way I can almost bet from that day on something inside him clicked. Then when he summed up the courage to call you , you tell him you need to think about it , which is resonable, however , remember when you are dealing with these ultra sensitive creatures , to him it was like rejection all over again ! Im just now learning all the personalities traits of these men , I wish I would have looked into his sign when I was first started a relationship with mine, which would have helped. It explains alot now. lol -For example , when I first got involved (and let me just note that he WASN'T taking no for an answer) I of course was on cloud nine ,never had a man pursued me with such sheer determination , everyday at my front doorstep , this was about a year and a half ago , he is in his forties , but he reminded me of a teenager in love, made me feel like one too. 🙂 So a couples months in , he called me always excitement in his voice and our conversations always went like this (him and I -worst communicators of history)

    Him: "Can I see you tonight?"

    me: "umm, ok , let me see if I can squeeze you into my schedule"(partly joking) but really It was all happening too fast , and it was a tad bit overwhelming how much time he wanted to spend with me ,plus I really did have things going on that day, so I was really trying to rearrange my day

    me: "i'll call you later?"

    Him: first silence then.."Sure , yeah , lets see if I can squeeze you in today" (very sarcasticly) then he hangs up.

    I was like , whoa , where did that come from ?? That was just one of many "incidents" that I casually brushed off , It wasnt until I read about his personalitie that I realized I may have hurt him more than I even realized . 😞

    Anyways that was once upon a time....Long story short , I also had to ween him off and didnt really go into detail , we always "danced" around the subject of us . I was also guilty of never talking about my true feelings , why should I , he never summed up the courage to ask , so why give him that much of me. I will tell you that in my thirty some years of existence , I have never felt that connection to anyone. It was pure bliss.



  • Hey earthangel2

    How are you? Your story made me a little sad and also somewhat optimistic about being a cancer. It seems that many women have a similar story. It is sad that we cancer's often fire so hot and cold. We can give some serious mixed signals and play with a women's mind and heart like no other, but I don't think most of us do it on purpose. Many of us are as confused by this as you are. Being a Cancer is a game in overcoming emotions and obsessions. A mature cancer man, who is in control of his emotions, can make a women feel like she has never felt before, but that often come crashing down at the first site of rejection. And the worst part is, we often assume the worst even when there is nothing to worry about.



  • Thats the keywords Cancerman276, a mature cancer male:), I dated a couple fellow cancers when I was really young, and wow did we ever walk all over each other, but they grew into loyal guys that learned from their bumps in the road, I think we all did eventually, I think the thing we have in common with taurus, is we can be reluctant to change things about ourselves, even if it would save our relationships and we mean well.



  • @The Transformed---

    Thank you so much for your comments.

    "You mentioned that he came on very strong in the beginning, that may be so, but my guess is that there had to have been something about you or your behavior that gave him a sure sign/signal impression that the feelings were mutual." (Posted by The Transformed)

    You know you are sooo right! I have a tendency to be extremely affectionate. I know most Tauruses are. But I'm a little over the top with my affection. I will kiss my man in the middle of the grocery store, any aisle will do, and I wouldn't care who was looking. Kind of like 'staking my property' if that makes any sense. LOL. He was actually flattered by it, and took to it well...responded too. I also have a tendency to stare into the eyes of my object of affection...and make him feel as if he's my world. Which is crazy. I never verbally express my feelings/emotions directly. My eyes give me away every time!

    I can see why he felt that it was mutual. But being a Bull, I absolutely hate to rushed, hate having things thrown on me the last minute, and can be quite stubborn...digging my heels in...if this person continues to push!

    "You describe that you basically dropped him gradually and moved on. Was it that you were overwhelmed with his characteristic intense expression of emotions/feelings? Just curious." (Posted by The Transformed)

    Good question. I was overwhelmed with his character intense expression of emotions/feelings. If it was gradual, I would have felt more comfortable and had more time to adapt. I'm not a very trusting person. Too fast. Too Soon. For a Taurus, that screams "HIDDEN AGENDA." Especially if the other person isn't clear about their intentions. He moves 'sideways' about everything.

    Cancer Man is thinking..."Please don't reject me?"

    Taurus woman is thinking..."What is it you want? What is your angle? Talk to me straight!"



  • @Bluecat123-

    "knew a taurus that use to ask me about intentions every time I would talk to him again, I never really understood that, I'm a cancer and I was thinking, " I have no idea, I guess to see where it goes"? If it will work out? If I didn't have a plan I might as well have not bothered,"(Posted by Bluecat123).

    We're very guarded people. We are also fiercely protective of our loved ones (ie family members, close friends). Tauruses are observers. We observe how you treat other people as well. Even when you think we're not looking. Many of us are passionate people. We want to correct the injustices of the world. Assist people who are treated unfairly. Because we're aware of how many cruel people there are on this earth, we're always second-guessing your motives.

    Despite how poorly Tauruses are described in the zodiac ( they make us sound like gold-diggers). We're a lot deeper than that. We're the sign of acquisition, not dependency. We're very empathetic, highly ehtical people. But we're also very emotionally strong individuals. We may be guarded initially, but once we trust you, and let you in our inner circle, trust me, we will be very protective of you. You're OURS! Lol.



  • @EarthAngel-

    Reading your story was like hearing my own story all over again. Lol. Wow. I can't believe the similarities.

    Him and I are the worst communicators in history, too! Lol

    It's strange. There is always a lost in translation with Cancers and Tauruses initially.

    ("Him: first silence then.."Sure , yeah , lets see if I can squeeze you in today" (very sarcasticly) then he hangs up.

    I was like , whoa , where did that come from ?? That was just one of many "incidents" that I casually brushed off , It wasnt until I read about his personalitie that I realized I may have hurt him more than I even realized . 😞

    Anyways that was once upon a time....Long story short , I also had to ween him off and didnt really go into detail , we always "danced" around the subject of us . I was also guilty of never talking about my true feelings , why should I , he never summed up the courage to ask , so why give him that much of me. I will tell you that in my thirty some years of existence , I have never felt that connection to anyone. It was pure bliss." ) Posted by Earth Angel

    Wow. This sounds just like him. A sarcastic remark, hangs up...then nothing!

    And I'm like..."Did I say something?"

    It's funny, many people are not aware that regardless of how strongly Tauruses feel for you initially, we rarely act on it, unless we're sure of our 'footing.' We need certainty. If we don't see it. We will ween you off. If we're being pushed to making an instant decision...we will ween you off. If you're calling to make plans the last minute...WATCH THE HORNS! Lol. People have no idea how Tauruses map everything out. Whiteboards, daily planners, schedules. Yep, that's us!

    But for usTaurus women, give us that 1950's old-fashioned courtship of drive-thrus and soda shops...and we will be putty in your hands. His courtship made me feel like a teenager as well..until it became a bit overwhleming. 🙂



  • "But for usTaurus women, give us that 1950's old-fashioned courtship of drive-thrus and soda shops...and we will be putty in your hands. His courtship made me feel like a teenager as well.."

    I couldnt have said it better myself ! You know , you could write a book on me. For me , I need everything to be justified , everything has to make sense to me . There needs to be a reason behind everything , Its not enough for me to be just perfectly content in the moment , Im always looking for how it will benefit me in the long run.



  • TFF - you forgot one thing about us Taurus women.....when we ARE sure...there is a power in what we fight for. We have the ability to make dreams realities, bc of our strong will and determination. Which is a powerful thing to cancer men.

    We do not sit around and talk, we take action. And bc of our ability to multi task, think, manuver and create...we can make what appears to be the most difficult things...happen. And we do it with such grace and ease.



  • Hello Taurus7!

    Good to chat with you again beautiful! Thank you for the kind words; we've talked on these lines before I do believe 🙂

    I pray that you and yours work things out; you guys were inspiring to me from the things that you've shared here. I always got a good warm vibe about you two and I feel you have a very good understanding of this 'breed'!

    Light and Love surround you,

    TT


Log in to reply