My Experiences with the Cancer Crab...
I came to this page to read what the consensus is regarding the Cancer Man. It appears some comments are ‘right up my alley’!
Well first off, I only recently started to search the www for articles on Cancer Men, as I have recently re-connected with one that goes back 30 years ago. Way back then, (when I was approaching 20), a girlfriend and I ventured out in the world on our first trip, and headed for LA. Our hometown...Toronto. (Also known as TO...T.DOT, Queen City). As young women, LA would be a mad party city for us young Torontonians! We were like....‘Tinsel Town Baby!...Here We Come’!
My 1st week in this massive city, I met my first, & only Cancer Man. Actually as it went...he met me! At a massive club one evening while dancing hard out with friends and fam, I looked above to the second floor and spotted 3 young men. One in particular was staring down at me. From where I was dancing, he looked sooo damn fine! This evening our crowd was on the club-hopping move, so off we decided to head to the next venue. Just as I was out the door, he came out of nowhere! Graced with a smile, and a soft ‘hello’ rollin’ off his lips, I stopped! Introductions were made, a brief conversation & a phone number on a piece of paper was offered me....& then our ‘goodbyes.’ I appreciated him not asking for a number he could contact me, but rather, giving me the opportunity to make the call...should I decide to! This number did not end up in the trash, as others had!
Two days later, I called him with much anticipation...although I did not reveal it. We arranged to meet, along with my friends at a dinner/club at the Ramada Hotel. He arrived shortly after I did, and when I saw him, & he saw me.....our eyes lit up like Christmas Trees, and our smiles were bursting large!
We spent the evening talking and dancing, along with our friends. I felt a certain ‘shyness’ in this young man, (we were both almost 20 at the time) he was exciting to talk to, to look at, to dance with...to spend that time with. He was shy, charming, handsome, eloquent and well dressed. By the end of the night before we left off, we arranged to meet the next day, have lunch and allow me a bit of sightseeing. He was a man I was thrilled to be spending time with, & getting to know a little bit more each time we met. I felt sheer excitement as I was spending this time with him, and felt it was time well spent! At this point, my good girlfriend & travelling partner...was getting ‘pissed’ at me cause in her eyes...I just met this guy, whereas her & I have a ‘history’ for heaven’s sake!
This Cancerian Man was ‘wowed’ somehow by me & also due to my visiting from Canada. (Although not my birthplace). He had not met anyone from Canada before, so I suppose his curiosity might have been aroused with some sort of interest!
Like I’m a real foreigner, which to me was weird since Canada being above, & borders the US from one end to the next. We neighbours...DIFFERENT...but nonetheless NEIGHBOURS!
My second to last night in his city, I spent the day with friends, and the afternoon into the next morning with this ‘Charming Crab’ at his abode. Later that day, he drove me to the airport....& I hoped we would somehow be in each other’s future. To what capacity I wasn’t sure at the time, but I would have been satisfied (since we lived a 5 hours flight away) that if nothing else, we would remain friends. I got on the plane...& I picked my heart up, as it was falling. My flight home was flooded with sweet memories of him! We kept in contact for six months via letters and phone calls. His penmanship was impressive! We eventually lost contact as our lives were headed in different directions. He joined the Marines, and I married my high-school sweetheart. (For those you might be wondering?: Was I having an affair while on holiday? ~ No, I broke up with my ex 6 months before this trip, a Taurean who was stifling me at the time).
As my married life moved forward, my husband & I had a daughter. By the mid nineties I divorced him....& have never looked back since! Back to Cancer.....A few years ago when FB was 2 years new, my friend I travelled with back then, asked if I ever tried to find him on FB. I hadn’t....but decided to search his name weeks later. Didn’t see any profile that resembled him, so I just left it at that. Recently in late July of this year, I tried again. Saw a profile that could be him, however the pic wasn’t a close up. Therefore, I decided to send him a message in FB. Well, I damn well never....it was him!!! He replied with amazement, excitement and fond memories of our time together. Offered up this cell #, email address, and asked I contact him, and plz send some pics. I thought nah...no pic’s comin’ your way yet, as I wanted more detail about the fond memories this man had of me! So instead, he got another email asking what those fond memories were! His response...hit the nail on the head, right down to the name of the club! Now is where our on-line friendship/relationship & my calls to him were starting to begin! He never asked for my digits. Hummmmm!
As the head got ‘turned up’ this man was telling me that when I left LA...he missed me! He had never been married or had any children, but had been in a hand full (1 hand) of relationships that detioriated with time. The emails he sent were ‘mind freakin’ blown’!!! In addition, I was replying with some ‘poetry in motion’! He was saying things like.. “he’s truly in heavens realms when he thinks and talks to me” and that “I should put my track shoes on if I plan on eluding him as I’m on my heels baby..I miss you and are longing to hear my voice and to really to embrace me and hold me close enough to smell the rose scent I am sure naturally permeates your person”. Further... “how he has never been more adamant about something in this life than he is about pursuing me”.
As this form of communication continued between us...the cream got thicker! If you know what I mean! This Cancer Man...guided by the moon, has ‘lyrics’...yep the kind us women just love to hear, & be ‘wowed’ by!
After the first month’s passing....he met with a plate full! An accident, which cut off his fingertip with his hairdressing scissors, a dear Aunt passed away, and then family civil suit issues! I offered up nothing but support to him during the difficulties he was faced with. It was round this time....this man fell of the face of the earth! He wasn’t responding to my emails, when I called his cell....it was disconnected! Now at this point I’m thinkin’ & sayin’ “WTF”!!! He’s drifted! So I basically send him an email asking that he just ‘fess up’ and let’s move on in a mature manner! At this point, I’m bout ready to ‘pull the plug’! It’s been four years since I shared my heart with any man, and I don’t have much faith in relationships over the net...let alone, long distance relationships! However, this Cancer Man actually provided me some sort of faith in this relationship. He even stated his last name would suit me! WTH!!!!!....and now he’s gone ‘undercover’ in his shell!!! He replied to my message, sayin he plans to claim my heart and love with this leap of faith, but needs to know if can have me fully in the flesh! I’m like ok, since you’ve been dissin’ me lately, & now I’m trying to get to the truth of the matter and move forward....your letting me know I’m still up there on your list! Again....WTF!!!
The fact we first met 30 years ago, is probably why we corresponded so beautifully from our 1st contact on FB. The curiosity between us was that of a sort of ‘wonderment....enchantment’. I can’t seem to get this man out of my damn mind! I’m clear now though...this man is an....enigma, he’s mysterious! While I understand there is a hell of a lot we don’t know about each other, throwing around feelings and words of LOVE should be done with truth, care and honesty!...after all, we are beyond those years of being ‘young’! Should he email me again....I’ll take a while to respond....this may cause him to think that ‘I’m outta here’!
I am not into feeling like a twisting roller coaster on the run! Been there...done that...& ani’t doing it again!
However, I have come to understand these Cancer creatures can be ‘taciturn experts at circumlocution, silent and indirect in their expression. All signs point to ‘GO’ in a relationship between us two, as I am a Pisces! But right about now, it’s lookin’ like I need to lace up my track shoes....& get running! People who play with hearts....can & will eventually get burnt!
Sure do damn well miss him though!
seabirdz, if you love this guy then be with him. If you take a while to respond it seems like your playing with his heart. If he is in your heart then dont play with his heart just sit him down and tell him how you truly feel and dont play games with him or else you will end up with out him in your life and you will be kicking yourself because you played his heart. Be honest with how you feel about him, if you do love him in your heart tell him let nothing else get in your way. If your playing with his heart then go away from him because its not nice to play another persons heart.
If I had my chance to tell my one and only that I love, miss him and wish he was here with me I would. It hurts to not have him in my life and I just wish he was here coz I know he is it for me. So if you feel that your guy is it for you then plz tell him, let him know and respond straightaway to any email from him so you not play with his heart, ok!
I have to agree with crazycap here. If you truly have feelings for this Cancer man then be up front and honest with him, but mostly with yourself. I can say given my experience with the Cancer male they do have a tendency to go into seclusion as a way of dealing with very difficult emotional issues. It is how they deal with their feelings when they are emotionally overwhelmed; they are known to be one of the most emotional male signs in the zodiac.
From what you have described, he has some rather challenging personal matters that he is dealing with and would explain his ‘disappearance’ as of late. Cancers are rather eccentric in the way they handle their emotions and, in my opinion are most times unfairly judged/criticized for how they instinctively function in the area of their emotions/feelings. They do have tendency to seem as though they are ‘side-stepping’ matters and many unfairly judge this as them being dishonest, but have you ever seen how a real live crab navigates the earth? They move more in a sideway/backwards fashion, lol!! Even though have (crabs) this hard shell externally, internally, it is a different story; these men can be extremely insecure emotionally (internally) and very sensitive in their feelings; can be easily hurt. It is not always that they are being evasive or dishonest, but they struggle more than some with more direct expressions, especially if those expressions are regarding feelings/matters of the heart. They will wait, in most cases, for you to initiate the forward step first and then they will join in. They should not be compared to how you or how other men may handle such things as there is no comparison. They are definitely in a league of their own, lol!
PATIENCE is the KEY when dealing with, being in relationship with a Cancer man. One thing is CERTAIN, IF you have patience, they will definitely provoke you to engage it, IF you do not, and you are willing to invest the time and effort into developing a relationship with them, you will gain it (patience); IF you do not have patience and you decide that you do not want to ‘grow’ any and you run away from further attempts at working at a relationship that is otherwise promising and you give up on them. I guarantee you that you will later come to regret it. These men may be challenging in the early ‘developing’ phase of a relationship, but once you get past that point and the trust is built/established, they are WELL WORTH the effort/wait! They are NOT your average kind of guy, mostly because of their gentle innards; society doesn’t expect this type of sensitivity, feelings or intense emotional display from the male species so it can be very difficult for them in relationships; they are governed by the moon and therefore they are hugely influenced by the continual cyclical changes of the moon therefore making emotional ‘stuff’ that much more challenging for them. Again this is where the patience comes in, if you truly/sincerely care about them. For many of the reasons just described, I call them the MAN’s man! They come in a way emotionally that women are not used to, but always have longed for in a man emotionally and so because it is so ‘unconventional’ or ‘unusual’ for a woman to experience a man that is so emotionally expressive/open, we unfairly scrutinize their every action/word and then unfairly suspect “fraud”. Trust me if this man is in to you like it sounds from your discussions he is scared as heck and will need to process this through introspectively before going full steam ahead. They are terrified of being emotionally hurt!
Now, you being a Water-sign and him too being one; this is a promising mix. You too have apparently already experienced the intensity of this mix between you two. If you honestly dig the guy, be patient, your relationship has good potential astrologically; and from the sounds of your experience thus far, practically as well. Water to Water is always good, in my experience. Mostly, be honest with yourself. Again, it sounds like he’s got a lot of personal drama going on in his life as of late and that before any of that things were picking back up between you two just fine. Again, remembering what I’ve mentioned above regarding how they deal with their feelings/emotions in difficult circumstances, don’t take everything so personal right now, because it’s not! They just do not process things the way you or I would emotionally. Not saying that you are, but just try not to demonstrate any selfish behavior right now that what he is dealing with is about you.
Be the supportive friend/mate that he needs right now as he is going through his difficult time. Check in on and encourage him from time to time and let him know that you sincerely care about him and what he may be going through having lost a loved one; wouldn’t you yourself want this same kind of concern? These are the kind of little things/expressions that show someone what you are made of. Trust me Cancers remember EVERYTHING they have the minds/memory of a steal trap!! Nothing gets by them. If you press him and press him right now for your own selfish needs/desires without showing any concern for his feelings; he will always remember it.
One thing is for sure that once they go inward and spends the necessary (by his standards, not yours) amount of time sorting through his feelings/emotions. Once they do re-emerge, they are usually more confident, for secure and more focused on their goal, of pursuing the one that has caught their attention. These are VERY determined/tenacious creatures!! As captivated as you described that you and he are with each other, I am convinced that this will be the case in time; like I said you just need to be patient with the process and try not to critically scrutinize everything that the says, does or doesn’t say or do as being an act of ‘fraud’. These guys are just so unjustly evaluated because of their eccentric ways; those not expected from the average ‘joe’ (male).
Cancers are very attached to their past as well, so if you and he had/have a “history” this will be very very significant to him. This will cause the attachment/bond he has to you to be that much more sacred. Just relax and let things unwind. Again, as crazycap has said, honesty is always the best policy. Playing games with another will never turn out successful. Follow your ‘heart’ and not your ‘head’. Your ‘head’ will almost ALWAYS talk your ‘heart’ out of pursuing its most sincere desires. The head is where our ego live and it is what will provoke us to play games with ourselves or others.
Wishing you the best and a rewarding journey ahead! Peace, Love and Light!
You seem to know a lot about Cancer men. Can you read my thread on this forum and give me some insight....
I have responded in your thread
Light and Love,
Thank you for your reply! Sorry, for the delay in responding to your post!
As the Cancer Man and I live in two different countries, unfortunately I cannot sit him down and talk to him, or be with him now, for that matter. I did respond to the last email he sent me, which was 2 weeks ago. I have not heard from him since. Today however, I did send him a brief email expressing that he was in my thoughts and prayers and that I miss him and am sending my love to his doorstep! – Open the door!
I have not been playing with his heart, as this is not the kind of person I am. As I had said in my 1st post, I will take a while to respond. I said this, as knowing myself as I do--I need time to think and ‘digest my emotions’ in an effort to make decisions I feel comfortable with. Please understand Crazycap: I have never been one who plays with people’s hearts & minds, (male & female alike) it is simply not my nature! I have been honest with him regarding my love for him since he first professed his love for me. Both being water signs, my recent research regarding our compatibility appears favourably all-n’ all!
I do love this man! -- And did when I first met him 30 years ago, even though our lives proceeded in different directions. I believe this is a once in a lifetime experience between he and I, to find one another again after all these years! I shall just have to let this ‘play out’ and be patient with him, as ‘The Transformed’ expressed in her reply to my post. However, it has felt like at times that he may have ‘cold feet’ hence our connection dropping off, or he could be just ‘digesting all of his emotions’ as I am, although I’m more verbal about it to him!
I appreciate you feedback, and feel your heart, and how it hurts, as you speak of how you wish you could express to your one and only ‘Love’ how much you miss and love him so!!!
I can only hope this opportunity presents itself to you. And should it not, my wish for you is the healing of your heart so you may continue happy in your journey in this life!!!
I wish you well!!! And look forward to anything you may have to say or add!
Best Wishes and Happiness 2 U Crazycap!!! ~ Carpe Diem! ~
Hello TT, (The Transformed)
First, my apologies for taking so long to respond to your reply and in-sight to my post! You provided many interesting viewpoints, and clarity regarding these mysterious Cancer Crab Men! I appreciated the time you have taken to express your thoughts and opinions based on your own experiences! Thank you and I certainly welcome any further feedback/opinions/advice you may have to share/offer. Also, could you please see my response to ‘Crazycap’ in this forum?
Your advice regarding ‘patience’ is sound and certainly makes sense to me! – Yes, I truly love this man, and can actually envision myself growing old with him, if it’s to be! – I’d love for it to be so, as we have similarities on so many levels. Sure as heck, water & water signs signal a ‘green light’ so to speak. This I feel is my chance with this Cancer water sign, and NO – I do not want to pass it up, as I consider this reconnection to be something truly special! The opportunity to get to know each other has only recently presented itself to us both, at the onset I initially felt ‘elevated’ by his feelings and the love he expressed for/to me!
Confused I am though, as he has never asked me for any contact phone numbers, or sent me a friend request on FB, our first initial contact in 30 years! What are your thoughts on this reality???
Yes, I have been taking it personally that his contact with me has dropped off considerably over the past months. I believe women can experience these feeling in general, as for the most part – we as women are clear that....‘Women are from Venus, and Men are from Mars’!!! LOL!!! It’s in the way we express ourselves, or do not!!!
Point made regarding not taking his shift of position under his protective shell personally and allowing selfishness to surround me & my precious heart! Your probably right, - it may very well NOT be all about me. And if it is; I am only a part of what is going on in his life while he struggles to regain his position within his professional and personal life!
Within our contact, I have expressed with clarity, how I feel about him within my mind, heart and soul, as he has with me. As he was going through the motions of being faced with the personal & professional issues surrounding his life, I offered up my prayers and positive affirmations in my effort to ‘lift him up’ in my attempts to keep him positive. I assured him that I am his FRIEND, his LOVE & feel like his SOUL MATE, - and that his health and well-being is important to me! I have demonstrated to him that I am there for him with open ears willing to listen. (I’m a good listener! LOL! Truly though! Throughout my life, I have always extended my Piscean self to family, good friends & fellow man/woman whenever needed, and for this...I have no regrets!)
I have come to learn that Cancers are attached to their pasts. This Cancer Man has expressed to me the last person he loved so dearly was his mother, and now me. How the reality of it all frightens him, as he cannot touch and breathe the same air I do! Wow...NOW that’s honestly deep I’m thinking! I expressed to him I possess this same LOVE for my mother...my best friend! (Both our mothers are deceased). I am a part of his past, as he is mine. This I believe is why this relationship has ‘substance’ of sorts. As my life progressed without him in it for 30 years, believe me, I thought about him...time & time again! More so when my mind travelled to a time & place earlier than my unsuccessful marriage to a stubborn Taurus!
The Taurus man loved me and I him, till he eventually wore me out with his on-going unbearable bursts of anger and antics!
TT....I have always followed my heart & gut feelings over my head all my life! Ego and I aren’t friends! LOL! I’m the sign with the ‘heart strings’ exposed! I have learnt a great deal about myself as my life has progressed through the years. I protect my heart more than ever these days as I have lived with ‘hurt’ in my past, and consciously choose NOT to anymore. However, in saying this...I also make sure that any relationship I am in will not be the recipient of my past hurts! I refuse to carry that ‘baggage’ with me and bring that past into future relationships!!! Don’t want no one to pay for what someone else has done to me!
I have expressed to this hard-shelled, tender, emotional Crab that I am LOYAL, and cannot...will not falter! This, an expression of my commitment overall as a FRIEND, LOVER, SOULMATE, MOTHER & GRANDMOTHER~! I offer up, & deliver my true heart and soul to those I love, unconditionally and have...all my life!
It appears, I have given you and Crazycap the impression I play games with hearts. Please understand this is not my persona at all! I couldn’t be more honest, clean & sharp than what I have exposed to you both! I truly appreciate your response and honesty, and deliver it back to you!
I welcome with an open heart and mind any additional thoughts/responses you may have...and thank you once again for your clear, concise response! You’re a JEM ~ I have learned more about these Cancer Men from you! Again many Thanks!
An Ol’ Soul...Seabirdz.
So good to hear from you You are very welcome; my Cancer man experience has some similarities to yours as well; mine re-entered my life after some 28+ years had passed and you are correct they are very much connected with their past; especially embracing of any past that has fond memories, emotions or feelings associated to it!
Again, patience is key with these men; if he is in pain it may take him a while; if he has any insecurities, and most Cancers do, it may take him some time to work through that as well before he feels strong and confident moving forward. Take it one day at a time, but do not stop living your life waiting in the balance either I truly believe that your heart is sincere and knowing you as a water sign, as I myself am, I did not perceive you to be a deceptive/manipulative type of individual at all! I apologize if I gave you that impression in my dialog. My expressions toward such were purely meant as an admonishment! Encouragement to not proceed down this path, as sometimes women are tempted to do when feeling hurt, unfortunately! My expressions were not because I detected that in anything you said; just to guard against such
I pray your Heart and Soul's desire be manifested in the appointed 'season'! Remain faithful in thought, in conversation and in deed! You will reap your "harvest" if you don't faint!
Love, Light and an Abundance of Peace surround you Seabirdz,
I have been with a cancer man for 1 year and it was the worst relationship of my life by far!!! I am a gemini and before I met him, I was a very detached person and unemotional and not very sensitive. He really changed me and brought the sensitive side out of me. Everything was so good at the beginning. He did things for me no one else has ever done. He brought me gifts everytime he came to see me. He was very affectionate even in public. He was very creative and fun to be with, and he wasn't bad to look at either.
After a few months I started to see his true colors. it started out with the mood swings. He would start a fight over me leaving a pair of worn socks in my kitchen floor in my own apartment. And then over the fact that I eat meat. He doesn't eat meat and the first night I met him, I asked if he would date someone who does and he said no, but then he asked me out, makes sense right? And then it was the ignoring and pushing me away by telling me he was seeing other people, but came to see me every weekend and still sleep with me. By this time I was hooked. I wanted to show him that I could be patient, loyal and loving so I chose to put up with more bs than I should have. Then the lies started. I'm a very intelligent person and can tell when someone is lying. I figured out he lied to me about many things, to this day I still know very little about him, I don't even know how old he is. He refuses to tell me.
After about 5 months with him things seemed to get worst and worst. We fought every week there was a new fight. He refused to answer any of my questions, but asked me questions and expected answers. I put up with him because I was used to it. I would complain to other people and no one would understand or sympathize. I was miserable, but I wasn't strong enough to leave.
When he told me he had slept with other people and hit on other people in front of me, I reached my boiling point. he still slept with me and told me he liked me and couldn't understand why i hated him so much. Yes, I started to hate this person for all he was doing to me. He knew that he was torturing me, but wouldn't let me go. I tried to ignored him, but he kept harassing me. I tried to leave him the last 8 months of the relationship.
He finally met someone else and is giving that person more than he gave to me. The last time we had s.e.x. I asked him if he was seeing anyone else. Then I found out he was in a relationship and in love with the other person, but I didn't get any of that info through his mouth. I told him to leave me alone for good or I would tell the person he's with that he slept with me. He finally left me alone and we haven't talked since.
It's been 3 months and I'm still hurting so much. I have cried so much within this year. I actually thought it was real and I wanted to believe so bad that it wasn't all just a lie. To this day I still don't understand why I still think about someone that I hated so much and did me so wrong. I did nothing but tried my best to love him and he tried his best to torture me.
Reading some of the posts here really helped me feel peaceful. I know that one day he will feel what I feel. He kept telling me that he did nothing wrong to me and that I felt hurt cause I chose to feel that way. I really hope one day he will get what he did to me, good or bad. I am scared for life and my wounds will never heal.
When I see people with relationship questions with cancer men, I was there. I made post asking questions about them here 8 months ago. Now it's a different story. I wished i should have run as far away from him as I could. He is the only person in my life that I regret meeting, and I've met lots of jerks, but non of them compare to him. He was the sweetest devil in disguise. I will never open up to another cancer man EVER again!!! I know another cancer and he is the exact same way, but we are just friends. Liar and a cheater. I'm only speaking from experience. When astrology said that cancer men are romantic, sensitive, loyal, creative, it forgot to mention that they are also liars, cheaters, super possessive, self absorbing, games playing, and immature!
Oh boy I don't know whether to be excited or terrified about cancer men, lol. I've met a Cancer man online and we have been corresponding for a year (we live in different countries) and yes there are times he does seem to swing between hot and cold, (I'm an Aquarius). I know this sounds weird or maybe a little crazy but I am so ready to just go and be with him that it scares the heck outta me and he wants me to move in, unfortunately my finances aren't that great to be that bold. I feel like I have finally found that missing part of my soul and he often refers to me as his soul mate. We talk for hours every week and yes I am learning patience BIG time
Reading these comments about Cancer men I am a little hesitant but also more aware thanks to you "The Transformed". I really hope it all works out for you "Seabirdz"
I hope you are a grounded Aqua because Cancer's need a lot more attention than most Aquariuses can give. Just my 2 cents. I have a few female Aqua friends and there is no way I would date any of them. They are lovely but far too detached for my taste. My experience with Aqua's is they are happy to be on their own doing a million different things, which is fine, but not dating martial for the Cancer man. Again, they are lovely people but far to aloof for us Cancers.
I'm sorry but this Cancer man may be playing with your heart. Stress will make a cancer retract into his shell, but I just get a funny feeling about your story. It's just so hard to tell if someone is being truthful or just blowing smoke when you're so far apart. Please be extremely cautious with this guy. He may wreak havoc on your heart if you're not.
Short and sweetly well said! I couldn't agree with you more on the Air sign/Water sign compatibility analysis:) I love my Air sign Aquarius', Gemini and Libras too, but, like you said the differing levels of emotional depth and demand are night and day! The Water signs require a good healthy dose of demonstration/focus in the area of feelings and emotional connectedness that is not instinctual amongst the Air signs. Water depicts depth, passion and intensity! This NEED/REQUIREMENT would eventually become overwhelming and almost burdensome to an Air sign, unfortunately
Light and Love surround you!
You are one extremely wise women and I always enjoy reading your posts!
Thank you, you are so kind AND you know that the feelings are definitely mutual!!
Have you ever met someone you are so sure of that you smile at a text, or your spirit calms at the sound of their voice, doesn't matter what they are saying? Or that you both know that each other is the missing part of the soul that we've each been seeking?
I do agree in the need to be grounded, in my younger days there is no way I would date a cancer male it would of been a disaster. Now I'm ready for depth, focus and a grounded relationship, yes I will always need to have some "me" time, he and I have talked for many many hours about what we want/need from each other. We've agreed that whilst he goes away hunting I'll do my own thing One thing we are both sure of is that we want to be together. I have moved well over 100 times in my life and at this stage of my life (omg I sound old, 49 is only young, lol) I know in myself that I am ready and that it is time to 'put down roots' both in residence and in heart.
Plus I think I have a little advantage re cancer men, my dad is one.
Aloria - I wish you well. From my experience, cancer men will be whatever you need them to be in the initial stage of the romance. However, trust me when I say this, at some point, when they or you become comfortable, it will always be about them in their minds. They are their own driving force. What they want/need/desire/think will always matter more to them than anyone else's needs.
And, when you truly love one, well, that can become a tricky path to walk down. The relationship becomes lopsided. Which is not good for the other party. They are huge takers, and when they do give, it is so guarded that it spoils the effort, in my experience.
Perhaps age plays a factor with them. I hope this works out for you!!
Is everything working out for you and your Cancer?
I don't know whether or not a Taurus will fare well in a lopsided relationship.
It's all or notihng with us.
TFF - It would continue to work out if I continued to settle for less than what I deserve. Ergo - end of relationship. I am OK with that. Which is odd. BC I do love him greatly, however, I find that fading .
Which leads me to believe that I just needed someone to love. Which may only make sense to me. But I understand it. I needed to know that I had the ability to love again after my horrible marriage. And I did.
You see, I don't believe all relationships are forever. Don't get me wrong. Some can be, but some aren't. This relationship was great for me up to a point. At the point where it stopped working, I needed total, complete intimacy. Sharing thoughts, feelings, etc. He just could not give that.
I understand and know why. It goes back to his past. But, we are still friends, we get along and that is good since we work together.
The funny thing, if you would have asked me 4 months ago if I could walk away from him, I would have said no way!!
But, BC of great friends....I know that I am worth so much more.
The neat thing is, I believe it for myself!!
Yeah all insights given are perfect fit into the style of a cancer man.
THe flip side of a cancer after getting together as you can gradually see the reserved, sensitive and touchy side of the cancer. This is a very exhausting relationship esp need to contantly coaxing to draw this cancer out of his shell and then have to face the uncertain " would he be attentive and initative again after this meetup ?" This have to depend on his mood and the security he finds in you. If not he is going to indulge in somethings which keep him busy all the time and its impossible to seek for his attention at all. Your have to contantly give and give to make him content like coaxing a woman in a man's shelf .. wow that hilarious and sometimes I am thinking that I 'm the guy and he is the woman ? I have to do the reverse things like sending texts , dating him out , buying him gifts and helping out in errands. I felt like am dating another woman and I have to begin musculine inorder to coax my feminine cancer man. This would never improve in the run long and you can never change him and you have to have patient inorder to accomodate him else just leave this guy alone when you became draining and negative in the process.