Lost & brokenhearted.

  • Hi. I have a soap opera story for you. Two married, separated people met and fell deeply in love. (Me Virgo, him Leo). We had the time of our lives, traveled together, everything we did together was always fun, peaceful, extremely romantic, and the feeling that is where we should be, is together, and get divorces. No man ever felt more right for me. The very day we planned to move in together his wife walked into his house, while I was there, demanding him to make a choice. He said he chose me, that I was the love of his life, and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. The next day he moved back with her, no explanation, and I haven't heard from him since. Its been 20 days...I am so confused, brokenhearted, not to mention the rejection cause he wouldn't take my calls the first 2 weeks, then I stopped calling and started praying. We use to talk everyday about everything, now I am so lonely and lost I can barely get through some days. Can anyone enlighten me about Leo's?

  • Hi,

    I feel your pain! I swear this is my story, exactly! You don't say if there are children or young adults involved. I'm assuming the answer is No. Leo's are generous, romantic and loyal. The downside is that they are dominant, controlling and manipulative. You don't say what sign she is, that matters. Unfortunately, Leo's tend to stay in an unhappy marriage especially if they live a luxurious lifestyle and are treated like kings/queens. They love to be adored and catered to. It sounds like you both had the time of your lives together, however, as painful as it is, you need to focus on you right now. I'm a Virgo and we are people pleasers, we will move heaven and earth for the ones we love and it is unfortunate that other's see that as a weakness, then we wonder why we are taken for granted. I'm not saying that is what he is doing. We just don't know what the situation is at the present moment. Right now you are vulnerable and this is not the time to contact him, as a matter of fact, don't! Absence makes the heart grow fonder and if he really loves you, in time, he will suffer the loss and come back. Take care of you! Be nice to you! Go deep within and find your strength. It's there. It will make things alot easier for the time being. It starts with you first then things will fall into place. Hang in there, things will work out for the best. Good luck!

  • Thank you Jomo for the encouragement. She is a Libra, I think. All children are grown and lives of their own. From what I saw and heard her say she was not willing to let him go no matter what, and the lifestyle is on the luxurious side. I have totally made up my mind not to contact him ever. This hurts clear to my soul. Thank you so much for answering.

  • Hi, The reason why he hasn't contacted you is because he feels guilty. Sorry to say is also a coward. It's good advice never to get involved w/a married person. I got really scared when you said his wife walked in. Be careful. I always cringe when I read these stories because I consider situations like this dangerous. Please be careful. Try to just walk away from this and not look back. That's the best advice I can give.

  • Yes I have been very nervous since that happened, it was very uncomfortable for all, but he basically made sure I was ok, reassuring me of his love and asked her to leave. Then 'poof' he was gone. I'll admit I am really struggling with the letting go part, and the change of heart. Thank you for your concern.

  • this hurts, no doubt about it. It does not matter that he is a leo, all signs do this. Maybe he could not deal with the depth of his emotions, it is sad but now a days, men run from their emotions instead of staying and working it out. Maybe he felt guilty that he was happy, acutally it does not matter why he did that, all that matters is that you are hurting, and you will be for a long time. Of course you are struggling becasue it makes no sense, unfortunately people in love do things that make no sense, and those of us who don't act that way, sit at home and cry and wonder and analize and think, what did I do wrong, why, how, and make ourselves crazy. The only postive thing I can say to you is that better he did this to you now then after you were married, that would have hurt more. I know right now you can't see this, but to not return your calls, he is not as nice as you think he is. He did you a favour that it might take years to see. Of course you are not ready to date anyone else, because you really love this guy, I would recommend reading anything by colin tipping, he has a website called radical forgiveness.com, All you can do now is take one day, no one hour at a time, slowly you will emerge okay. You are a good person and you did not deserve this, the issue is his. Read, clean, walk outside, exercise anything to try to get your mind off of the pain. At least it is summer so you can go sit outside in nature. God bless and it will get easier

  • Thank you so much for your encouraging words pinkandmint. I am walking, practicing yoga, and trying to see this in another light. Nonetheless, some moments filled with the beautiful memories are quite painful at times. I will look up the website.

  • Honey, this to shall pass and let it. I myself was in your shoes about 3 years ago he had 3 kids that came to live with us. He had been promising to cut the loose strings, but that never happened for over a year I lived with the wife making three or four visits a day. Plus they would stand out front and yell at each other with the kids crying next to them. Soon all the crying and yelling stopped and she began to wear cloths that barely fit her and bring him beer ( there was plenty of that there, believe me). Before I knew it he was skipping work and taking the kids out of school early and they would all go out ( you know to hang out together as a family).

    Soon one of my friends caught them at my local park ( the same one we would take the kids to) kissing ang touching very heavy. I witnessed this myself to. Not a good scene. I am just telling you this as a backbone, Don't ever get involved with a married person!!!!!! Let them finish what they started and come to you with a clean slate. ( I say this out of love for anyone that has been there or is thinking about going there) Getting over it has taken me almost up until now and he still tries to call and get together, when he is still with his wife. All bad news........

    Coping is being able to change your state of mind set activities and loads of movies that will make you cry, cry as much as you can and let out all the pain and hurt don't keep one pinch. You don't want this little bump in the road to hurt anyone else that later will come into your life and make you even happier and plus he'll be coming with a free heart :).

  • Hey.

    Sorry to have to say this, but I just couldn't not post on this. NEVER mess with a married man!!! 95-99% of the time he will go back to his WIFE! It does not matter what he tells you or how much he says he loves you, he has history with her. I am coming from the other side of this. My husband and I separated for almost a year. He dated another woman and lied to me about the relationship. We were separated, yes, but do you think he stopped being involved with me? No. Not at all! Most men don't. This was a relationship that was new, so it was fun, without all the baggage of thirteen years together. So, at the time, he thought he was in love with her. Then he came clean with me and realized that it was the newness of it all that he was in love with, and the freedom from all of our issues,every day problems. We are back together now, and stronger than ever. He had his little "mid-life" crisis and realized that our love and history is deeper than anything he could have with someone else. It is very complicated to be involved with a married man, even if he is separated. My advice is to strengthen yourself from the inside out, know that you deserve better, accept nothing less than you deserve, and don't get involved with a man unless he is definately divorced! (Men lie, also, but divorce records are public) Protect yourself!

  • To the other people that posted the comments about not getting involved with a married man, he was separated and so was she, this is not about him being married or single, or a leo or not, single guys do this too, and for the women who took her husband back, cheaters don't change,he will do it again. And 1525 how did any of this help her, this is your story and we her to help her, not make her feel guilty. If he was living with his wife, then yes of course not, but he was not. This happens to single people all the time

  • Hey pinkandmint,

    In case you didn't understand the story, we were SEPARATED! He was not living w/ me! It does not matter! If he is not DIVORCED, and I mean the divorce is FINAL you will 95-99% of the time get hurt in the end! You are wrong, it is about him being married. Because all she knew was what he was telling her. As for making her feel guilty, no that is not my intention. I do feel for her very much. It hurts everyone involved. This stuff of course happens to everyone. Everyone in this world has to suffer tragedies and broken hearts and so on, it is part of our journey and our lessons we have to learn. She is already doing the things she needs to do to get back on track. It sounds as though her approach to healing is very healthy. And as for your comment about my husband cheating again, that just shows ignorance and stereotyping.

  • LA1524

    Just like your ignorance saying to this woman that 95% of men go back to their wives, not true at all, you wrote this to make yourself feel better because your husband came back, what does that have to do with hers? And this woman is also separated and it does not matter what he said to her, they shared memories together. And if you want statistics, women who take men back after they cheat, they cheat again because they know they can get away with it, it is sad that you wrote this to her and don't even see that it will make her feel worse, and I have nothing else to say to you.

  • I think the word Love is used rather loosely by a lot of people. The incorrect use of it has caused many problems. Go to 1Corinthians 13.

  • Thank you for all your heart felt, honest responses. The depth of love I shared with this man was none other than I have ever experienced. He said and did a lot of beautiful things, basically drew the kind of love out of me I never knew I was capable of giving or receiving. In my silly romantic mind I felt like Brad & Angelina Jolie. I will always remember this as the happiest & the saddest days of my life. Somedays I wonder if I will ever really get over this. It does hurt a tremendous amount.

  • I'm so sorry this happened to you.......but I promise you there is a reason, it just may take some time to figure it out. In the meantime try to take one moment.....one minute at a time. Everything is always easier said than done, I know. You are doing the right thing by talking about what happened to you. As much as we'd like to sometimes, we can't control how others feel and what they do. We can only control our reactions to the things that hurt us so much. You will get through this and when you do don't be afraid to love again. So for now.....one moment at a time, just love yourself as much as you love him.....take care.

  • I agree with opensea, try taking things one day at a time. I too am sorry to hear about your situation. The hurt you are feeling is right in your words. Seems like that is the nature of love, when it is mutual it can be the greatest feeling you've ever had, like the joining of two souls, but, on the otherhand, it can be the deepest pain you have ever felt when suddenly it's gone.

    I too was in your situation many years ago in my early 20's. Got involved with this amazing man who, needless to say, I feel very hard for. Things were great, he said he was leaving his wife for good (he had been separated for over a year), we were together for almost a year, but did not live together. Then one day he basically disappeared. About five years later, I found out through a mutual friend who had recently seen him at a conference, that he went back to his wife, changed careers, and the most hurtful thing, he and his wife had twins about two years after they were back together!!

    My point here is this, the only way you can truly get past this is to get some kind of closure, otherwise, the scar may always be there, just as mine is. I never did get closure. Even if the truth was going to hurt, I would have just wanted to know, or maybe even a simple, "things have been amazing, but I decided to stay with my wife". Something is better than nothing, and that something may provide the closure you need. If you are up to it, maybe contact him, not to get him back, just explain that you are trying to heal and move on and that you just want him to be honest with you. Tell him you need the closure, if he's the guy he led you to believe, he'll understand.

    Also, as someone else mentioned on here, don't be afraid to love again. It may take a while to be able to trust someone again with your heart, that's totally normal. But if you are too afraid to open up again to someone again in the future, you may miss out on the opportunity to feel the way you did for this guy again. Remember, the future is what we make of it, don't let those in the past affect your path to the future.

    Best of luck to you, these things always seem so hard to go through when you are deep in the trenches.

  • Onaquest, thank you so much for the heart felt encouraging words. I am so sorry that happened to you, and not a word for so many years. Maybe in time, down the road that's what I need to do is call, but for now I I guess I'm kind of licking my wounds. I can't imagine her still wanting him back when he told her he loved me. I did read 1Cor. 13

  • My heart goes out to you for your pain and discomfort.......I do not believe that anyone should be allowed to suffer.......but now I have to bring in tough love! It is so wonderful when we can find someone in which we can share our deepest highs and lows.... WOW it feels soooo goood. BUT.... there should have been some clues for you to realize that this man was married.....Your story is a bit cloudy....And for him to have the nerve to tell you in front of his wife that he wanted you and not her but stayed with his wife anyway is an outright DOG all the way........what a coward! He not a REAL MAN as you may have thought he was he is a LOSER. First he had no right to play with your feelings or his wife....totally unfair. If he loved you the way he said he did then he would have taken his tired a@# and filed for a divorce with his wife and married you instead. End of story...happy ever after. From now on be more investigative of your relationships what seems to be too good to be true often is so guard your feelings and don't trust right away..... Trust and Respect has to be EARNED! Pray and look to God to heal your sorrow He is waiting on you and would love to hear from you! Peace ;o)

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