Watergirl18! :) I would like your insight.
I see that you are a very talented reader, and I was wondering if you could give me your perspective on a few matters. I notice that you are in very high demand as well, so take your time responding. I'm rather interested to hear what you might tell me!
So basically, there are two things on my mind: love, and school.
I'm going to start off with love.
I met this waiter on a cruise I went on in July (his name is Nick!) After the cruise, I spent a few weeks trying to track him down so I could give him my contact information. I was successful, and he asked me out on an afternoon date a few days after. We had a great date (or so I thought...from my perspective, we did!) However, on this date, he told me he would be returning to his homeland in Europe for a two month vacation a week following our date! I was so heartbroken, however, he told me that when he returned we would hang out again. And I believed him.
I did send him two e-mails over the course of these past two months. He is supposedly returning in early October, and I'm worried that I'm getting my hopes up by believing that he was sincere in saying that we would see each other again. Although he hasn't responded to my emails, I'm just thinking that he doesn't want to start a back-and-forth conversation, and would rather wait till he returned to LA to call me.
So basically, Watergirl18, I want your insight and overall opinion on Nick, and this situation. Do you sincerely think that he really is going to call me, and that we will see each other again?
and, if you can offer me any insight on this relationship, please share! I am so anxious and yet excited at the possibility of seeing him again, and where this might go. I was so determined to find him, and now that I have, I don't want to give him up so easily!
And now, school!
I'm currently studying pre-nursing at a wonderful and prestigious university. I am so determined to become a nurse: it's my lifelong dream! However, it's a very competitive program, and only 90 students are selected every year. I am trying my best to study hard and get those straight A's, but, will that be enough?
Watergirl18, what is your perspective on my schooling? am I working hard enough? and will I possibly get accepted into the nursing program this year? if not, I'm worried it's going to take me over 5 yrs and a lot more student loans to graduate with a nursing degree!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your help and guidance. it really does mean the world to me to have some assistance in these matters. Take your time! I'm patient.
Blessings and love,
Unfortunately I cannot give you a definitive answer about Nick - sorry! I know how much you want one! The thing is, sometimes we are not given the answers we are seeking because it does not serve us to know at that particular moment in time. And we also sometimes get answers to the deeper issue at hand rather than what is on the surface.
What came through for you first and foremost is that you have worked yourself up into quite a dither over this guy Nick - almost to the point of being manic. You need to stop, drop and roll! Just kidding...but seriously, calm down. Take some deep, long, healing breaths and try to bring yourself back to balance. The 2nd thing that came through for you - closely related to the first message - is that you have a tendency to turn small things into very large and intricate fantasies in your head and that part of your maturity process is to become more grounded and practical. Based on that message, let's take a look at the history of Danibo and Nick, A Love Story....
You met on a cruise while you were vacationing but he was working. Did you actually spend any quality time together or was this just some flirting and a chemical attraction only? And then after the cruise, you went on ONE date, correct? So you spent all of about 3 or 4 hours together, right? Take a step outside of the story and look at it from the perspective of someone who doesn't know either one of you. Does this very brief history constitute a valid reason to spend practically your entire summer obsessing over him? I don't mean to throw cold water in the face of young love, but you must learn to get a hold of your emotions and be more centered. You went on a date....he went home and told you he would not be back for a while....you attempted to contact him a few times and he has not responded. I am not saying that he will not contact you upon his return, but I am saying that you did your part to let him know you are interested and you must now LET IT GO. To do otherwise appears needy and insecure and no man is attracted to that unless he is an abuser.
So my question to you is, how will your life be different if he never calls you? Will your world fall apart? Will you cease to have meaning in your life? Will you never again have any fun or enjoy yourself? I think not.
The next question is, how will your life be different if he does contact you when he returns. This is followed by the biggest question - one that you should seriously spend some time with in quiet contemplation - WHY will your life be different if he calls? You barely know him so it suggests to me that you have a deeper issue here. Whether or not you are ready to identify and work on that issue is up to you.
Lastly, take it from an old woman who's been around the block a few times....it is NEVER a good idea to put your life on hold while waiting to hear from someone else. It is fine to remain hopeful that Nick will call you, but it is definitely not okay to be in constant turmoil over it in the meantime and to remove yourself from social situations where you might meet someone else with whom you might start dating. Even if you've been in a relationship with someone for a while - trust me - the man will NEVER come back to a woman who is sitting alone and pining away over him. The men that try to win the woman back are the one's who see that very woman out and about and shining her light without a thought in the world for what HE is doing with his life. THAT is what they find irresistible!
One last thing. If you do hear from him, I have to caution you that I am getting a sense that this guy is a charmer - like the epitome of a Latin lover type. European men are much more sophisticated at seducing women than men in the U.S. !! In other words, they are really skilled at being the "player." You need to be careful not to read too much into his gestures as they are just that - romantic GESTURES that are intended to woo you and melt you to his desires if you know what I mean. Too many women mistake these gestures for "he must really love me!" I'm not saying he is completely insincere, just that you need to keep your wits about you.
With regard to school, you have just begun your pre-nursing program, no? How long before you will actually be applying to the nursing program? You are already on the right path - studying hard and striving for straight A's. As far as what else to do? The obvious answser is to get your head out of the romantic clouds for now and keep your nose in your books! That doesn't mean you shouldn't take time out for fun, mind you. You don't need advise from a psychic in this regard - talk to your professors about what else you can do - what else they look for on the nursing school app's besides grades. Get in good with your professors - you will most likely need letters of recommendation and letters from your prof's will be a huge plus for you. Don't get too far ahead of yourself worrying about how much time it will take and how much money you will be taking out in loans. If this is truly your dream, then just stay focused - one step, one semester, even one exam at a time! The Universe will support you.
you've definitely hit this right on the head! I'm always fantasizing about all the possibilities instead of focusing on the reality of the situation. It's just...it's hard for me. I've never been in a relationship, and I find myself ALWAYS disappointed in love. I've cared for so many guys who always break my heart. Nick was different to me. He actually extended an invitation to me. He actually made me believe he liked me. I mean...he didn't have to ask me out. But he did, and that changed everything for me. I felt like he was the first guy who actually wanted to get to know me, and see what I have to offer.
And it breaks my heart now that i don't know what's going to happen, because he really was someone special for me. He was the first guy to ever express interest in me. And although he might not be sincere, it still meant a lot to a girl who's never been lucky in love. He made me feel like my luck had finally changed, you know?
That's why its so hard for me to forget and move on. Because I care too much. Because he actually made me feel like something special. Thinking bad things about this makes my heart sink, because I begin to realize that yet again my heart has been broken, and makes me feel like I did something wrong to make him not like me, or that I'm not worthy of having someone love me.
It's really a frustrating situation for me. I don't meet guys easily, and I usually don't go after them like I did with Nick. I really thought it would be something great...and the uncertainty is obviously killing me. And I can't forget.....I've never been the sort of girl who could just ignore things like this. I wish I was, but unfortunately I'm not.
As for school, I'm so worried that I'm not doing good. I feel so worn out...and I'm so upset with myself because Nick is consuming my thoughts so much, and school is wearing me out.
I'm so confused and upset with my life right now. But oh well. All I can do is hope that Nick will contact me, and that I'll get into the nursing program this year. I'm applying in May. So we'll see.
Thanks again. If you can offer me any other insight, it's much appreciated.
Aw, sweetie, I'm sorry you are hurting. What you need to understand is that this isn't really about Nick per se. If you take a step back you will see that you have placed too much importance on Nick - or any boyfriend for that matter - with regard to your happiness. What your ego has been telling you is that if you receive love from Nick THEN you will feel loved and thereby feel happy and fulfilled. The real question to ponder is why don't you feel loved and happy without Nick or any other boyfriend? This really is where you must start. Until you feel that sense of completeness within yourself you will most likely keep attracting men that will expose this wound. You are feeling exhausted because this is what happens when we wrap ourselves up in the past and/or future instead of living in the present moment. You have been using up all your energy on worry, fear and anxiety - over whether or not Nick will return your affection, over whether or not you will be accepted into the nursing program, etc. That would sap the energy out of anybody. Most schools have counseling available to students through the student health department. It will most likely be graduate students who are supervised by their professors, but that does not mean it would not be helpful to you. I really think you should check it out.
Take care, my dear.
Thank you watergirl18. I will most definitely check out my schools resources. I've been to counseling before, but I didn't have these problems to discuss. I'll see what I can do.
Thanks for the love! DaniBo
Dear Watergirl, I need your help, please.
Does person R want me? What does he feel about me? Will he contact me? Or should I forget him?
And person M, does he like me? Could we be friends?
Thank you so much!
I think it would be best for you to forget about R as he seems like a bit of a player. If it makes you feel any better, I think he feels badly for hurting you because you are a sweet person. Don't let it get you down as you are at an age where young men are still being run by their hormones The best way to identify if a guy has sincere feelings for you is to give it some time. Do not rush into anything too quickly if you know what I mean. If he really likes you he will stick around. If his intentions are of a purely physical nature then he will not.
With regard to M, I think he does have some interest, but is seeing you as not available. Possibly because of your involvement with R or he thinks you are in recovery mode from R. Give yourself a little time to mend and then give it a go with him! But remember not to jump into the physical right away. The physical part of a relationship comes as a natural progression FROM establishing a solid foundation with someone - it is not a means to establish the foundation. Capiche?
Thank you, Watergirl, you are a great reader! Everything is truth.
I sent M a message, but I did not say who am I, because I am scared that he would not like me.
I need him for support and such things, but I do not know him so well, what kind of person is he... I need a warm person.
M knows me, but not personally. Will he like me?
Thank you, you are great.
I found out, M has a girlfriend.
So everything was wrong.
So he has a girlfriend... so what? There are plenty of other fish in the sea. You forgot the most important part of my reading, though. I said that he might have some interest, but saw you as unavailable or not an option. So of course he might be dating someone else. AND I also said to take some time first and instead you jumped right in to the possibility of a relationship with M. Take some time to be with yourself and enjoy doing things with your friends. What's the rush? Who knows, maybe M and his current girlfriend will break up and there will be opportunity in the future....OR....while you are not thinking about it and just out enjoying yourself and your life you might meet someone NEW!